Free to Live, Free to Love
by justsmile17
Summary: "Blake?" She asked tentatively. He looked up and she gasped at the burning look he gave her as he slowly stalked forward. Breathless, she backed up until she was pinned against a tree, their bodies barely touching. "What-" "Shut up Kitten," he growled, fisting a hand in her black hair. "Just shut up," he murmured again, lowering his head and capturing her lips in a desperate kiss.
1. I'm Coming Home

Disclaimer: I do not own the 100.

**Author's note: Hey guys! I had this idea for a story, but I'm not sure how it turned out. So if you read this, review it and let me know if I should continue! Thanks :)**

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Chapter 1: I'm Coming Home

**Kat's POV**

One thousand, four hundred, forty-six days. Thirty thousand, seven hundred four hours. Two million, eighty two thousand, two hundred, forty minutes. That's how long she'd been stuck in this hellhole. Did she deserve to be here? Absolutely. She had no delusions that she was innocent. She didn't even protest or argue when they had arrested her.

There was a silver lining however - one week. That's all she had left before her miserable life was over and she would finally be free. Free from all the anger and pain. Free from this cold, impersonal cell. And free from this floating piece of metal hell that they called home.

With a resigned sigh, Katerina Hale opened her eyes to the familiar white ceiling of her cell. There were two small lights, one on each side. The walls were a cold gray that matched the color of the floor. Her long sleeve t-shirt was white and her pants were black. She missed seeing real colors.

Kat shifted into a sitting position on her sorry excuse for a bed and walked the two steps to the far wall in order to look out the small window. _Now there was color_, she thought appreciatively as she looked down at Earth. The bright blue of the water, the green of the land and even the white clouds that hovered over everything. She placed a hand on the window, imagining she could reach out and touch it. It reinforced how depressingly bleak her life had become.

It had been 97 years since the Ark was formed and mankind left earth. Rumor has it that there was still 100 years left before it was safe for them to go back to their real home. Sometimes she would wonder what it would be like to live down there. Would there still be so much radiation that every breath she took would bring her closer to death? Did the grass and the trees grow back after the bombings? Were there animals still alive?

Then she'd remember that everyday that passed brought her closer to eighteen and her execution date and she'd shake her head, reminding herself that there was no use thinking of what could never be.

With another sigh, Kat turned her back on Earth and started her morning stretching routine. After spending four years in this cell with nothing but herself for company, she started occupying her time with the one thing she did have – her body. First she stretched all her muscles until she felt loose and flexible. Then she ran through a series of exercises, some that she had seen her father do and some that she had created herself.

Push-ups, sit ups, crunches, jumping jacks, squats, lunges, even pretending she was in a fist fight, dodging and punching as she envisioned her attacker. Anything and everything to work all the different muscles in her body. The result was something she was proud of. She was toned and fit, and although she didn't think she would be fighting anyone or running any races, it made her feel good and it gave her something to do everyday.

As she automatically moved through her routine, her mind drifted back to the dream that had woken her up this morning, one completely different from her usual nightmares.

"_Hey!" 6-year-old Kat cried, stepping forward in protest. "That's mine! Give it back!" _

_Class hadn't started yet, and the teacher wasn't in the room. Kat, who was not only small for her age, but also terribly quiet, quickly became the target for one of the bigger girls to relieve her boredom. The rest of the class gathered around them in a circle. Some of them looked uncomfortable, but no one intervened – they didn't want to be on this girl's bad side._

"_Why are you bringing a stuffed animal to class?" The bigger girl sneered, holding the animal out of Kat's reach. She glanced at it, wrinkling her nose. "If you can even call this old thing a stuffed animal. What is it even supposed to be?"_

"_Give it back, Felicity! That was my mom's, she gave it to me!" Despite the glare on her face and the stubborn set of her jaw, Kat felt her eyes fill with tears. _

_Unfortunately, Felicity noticed as well._

"_Aw, baby Katerina wants her toy back. Are you going to cry?" Kat blinked furiously, desperately trying to hold her tears back. "Why don't you go running back to mommy?" The girl grinned and her eyes widened drastically. "Oh…that's right. You don't have a mommy. Because she's dead."_

_Kat's eyes blurred and one tear trailed slowly down her cheek._

"_Stop being mean, Felicity." Out of the corner of her eye Kat saw a girl with blonde hair that was pulled back into a braid was pushing her way forward through the group of kids, stopping in between the two of them. "Give her the toy back," she demanded, narrowing her eyes._

_Felicity glanced between Kat and the blonde girl, and though she still had that nasty sneer on her face, everyone could see her slight hesitation. Kat wasn't sure why, nor did she care. All she wanted was her bear back. _

"_Fine," Felicity said with a shrug. Kat blinked in surprise. Just like that? "You want your toy back, you big baby? Here."_

_Kat realized what she was going to do just a little too late. "No!" She cried, watching in complete helplessness as Felicity took the already frayed animal between her two hands and yanked the head from the body._

_Tears streamed steadily down Kat's face as Felicity shoved the stuffed animal into her arms. This was one of the last things that Kat had from her mother. And now…_

_Kat looked up, seeing the sad, pitying look on the blonde girl's face. Swallowing a sob, Kat spun on her heel and ran, feeling like she had lost her mother all over again._

_She dodged people in the hallway, ignoring the exclamations of surprise and their reprimands to slow down. She ran until she reached the one place on the Ark where she was able to be alone._

_Kat slipped into the dimly lit and mostly unused storage closet, shutting the door behind her and sinking to the floor. Carefully, Kat placed the two pieces of the stuffed animal and stared at them. She hated that girl Felicity. She hated living in this place and she even hated her mom a little bit._

"_Why did you leave me here all alone?" Kat whispered to the broken bear._

_The door to the storage closet suddenly swung open and Kat blinked in the flood of light to see the blonde girl standing there, staring down at her. "What are you doing here, Blondie?" Kat asked bitterly, wiping her face with the edge of her sleeve. _

"_I followed you," She replied, stating the obvious. Without waiting for an invitation, she came in, closing the door behind her and sitting across from Kat. "I just wanted to see if you were okay."_

"_I'm fine," Kat said, sniffling._

"_Felicity used to be mean to me too, you know." Kat looked up at the girl with disbelief. She seemed so…tough, and strong. "My daddy told me that __no one can make you feel inf… infre-" The girl's nose scrunched in concentration as she stumbled over the word. "Inferior without your consent."_

_Kat frowned, not recognizing half the words in that sentence. "What does that mean?"_

_Blue eyes met Kat's gray ones. "You can't let what people say or do make you feel bad. Felicity is not a nice person, and you can't listen to what she says."_

"_But she's right. My mom's dead."_

"_I know, I heard about her accident. And I'm very sorry." _

"_How did you know?"_

"_I've been in your class for two years now. And I think my mom was your mom's doctor."_

_Kat didn't know what to say to that revelation. She didn't usually pay much attention to her surroundings. A few moments passed and Kat began to feel weird. This girl was very different from her. Her clothes were clean, her hair was pulled back into a neat braid and most of all this girl seemed…happy. Kat on the other hand, felt dirty, her clothes were frayed and her hair was full of knots. _

_She really should get back to class. Her dad was going to be _so mad_ when he found out. Instead she said - _

"_I like your hair."_

_The girl's eyes lit up as she latched onto the topic with an easy smile. "Thanks! My mom did it for me. Want me to do yours? She taught me how." _

_Kat looked away, patting her hair self-consciously. "I don't know. My hair is kind of messy."_

"_That's okay," the blonde girl said, giving her a kind smile that automatically put Kat on edge. In Kat's experience when people were nice they usually wanted something from you._

"_Okay," Kat murmured quietly, shrugging. _

"_Cool! Here, move forward so I can sit behind you." Kat did as she said, unconsciously hunching her back, her muscles tensed as the girl reached up and began to thread her fingers through her hair. "My name's Clarke. What's yours?"_

"_Katerina Hale," she answered gradually relaxing as the other girl did nothing else except start to work through the knots. "But I like Kat better."_

"_It's nice to meet you Kat. I have a feeling could be great friends."_

At that point, the dream, or memory rather, had been so sudden and so unsettling that it had startled her from the few hours of sleep she had been able to get. A vaguely familiar mixture of fury, betrayal and bitterness spread through her as she replayed it in her mind.

_Clarke Griffin._ She hadn't thought about that traitorous bitch in a long, long time.

_Friends,_ Kat snorted, shaking her head. Kat wasn't exactly the type of person to have friends but she supposed Clarke was the closest thing she had to one.

Every time she opened up, she got burned. She learned the hard way not to trust anybody but herself.

Kat thought back to the shy, scared little girl that she used to be. Spend a couple of years in this hell-hole with no one but yourself for company and it changes you. It hardens you, transforms you into a cynical person, and over time you end up caring less and less about…. Anything.

The only thing in her future for her to look forward to was her impending death.

Kat was sitting on the floor, her legs straight in front of her, her fingers reaching around her boots and her face pressed against her knees as she stretched the backs of her legs. Her eyes, which had been closed as she counted silently in her head, flew open as her cell door buzzer sounded and the room was suddenly flooded with light.

"Prisoner 194," a voice called out in its familiar drawl. "Turn around and face the wall!"

Instead of getting up, Kat slowly raised her head to see a man with short blonde hair and empty blue eyes smirking at her from the door of her cell. He was wearing his usual guards uniform, all black and padded for protection. In his belt was a gun that she knew shot tranquilizer darts (because really, they were in space, there were more efficient ways to kill people, like floating them out into space.)

On the other side of his belt, she knew, though she could only see a part of it, was a small switchblade. She knew it was there because he had taken it from her the day she was arrested. Every time he came into her cell, he would have it in his hand, flicking it open and closed as he spoke to her. She would stand there, hatred pulsing through every cell in her body, as she forced herself not to react to his taunts. She knew he was just looking for a reason to hit her.

Another younger officer, looking distinctly bored, stepped into the cell carrying a small box as the blonde officer crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. Kat eyed the box for a moment, her brain racing as she tried to figure out what was going on.

"Officer Asston," she greeted, shifting her eyes back to him and bending a leg to rest her arm on, as she attempted to appear casual. "To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"

The smirk dropped from his face, replaced by an annoyed look complete with a disgusted sneer. "It's Ashton, you stupid bitch."

A small smile played on Kat's lips. She knew it was immature and juvenile, but Kat couldn't help herself. Unlike her, Officer Ashton had a hard time controlling his emotions, and he always reacted exactly as she expected him too. "And you're here because…" She raised an eyebrow in his direction. "In case you and your superiors forgot how to count, I still have another week before I turn 18."

His smirk returned as he slowly strolled into the cell. "As much as I would like to see you float, plans have changed. Now get up, and face the wall."

"Plans have changed?" Kat repeated, not moving a muscle. Uncertainty spread through her. Were they going to float her early? Did she do something to get her review moved up a week? She racked her brain, trying to think, but she couldn't come up with an answer. Her execution date was the one constant thing in her life at the moment and now things were changing. "What plans? What's going on?"

Officer Ashton faked an expression of surprise. "Wait. Did Chancellor Jaha forget to come down here and tell you his plans? How very unlike him. You must be feeling so left out." His smirk grew as Kat glared at him. "You're not the daughter of a Commander anymore, Katerina. You're nothing. Nobody," he whispered menacingly. "Now… Get. Up."

He nodded to the second officer who roughly grabbed Kat's arm and yanked her to her feet. "Get your hands off me," Kat snarled, violently wrenching her arm out of his grip. She was thrown off balance when he abruptly let go of her but she saw an opportunity and continued to stumble forward into Officer Ashton, hitting him slightly with her left shoulder while she gently slipped her switchblade out of his belt, hiding it in her hand.

Officer Ashton grabbed her left wrist in one hand, holding her close to him. She flinched in surprise at how close his face was and tried to turn hers away. His other hand grabbed her chin roughly, forcing her to look at him. "If you were anyone else," he whispered, eyes slowly moving from her face down to her chest. Nausea welled in her stomach and Kat had to clench her teeth to stop the bile from climbing up her throat. "This would tempt me very much. And while you do have a decent body, I knew you before you were thrown in here and that means I know who you really are. Just a scared, little girl who's broken beyond repair. And that just doesn't do it for me."

Kat said nothing for a moment as she watched his triumphant, gloating expression. Without even thinking, she gathered saliva in her mouth and spat it right in his face.

With a noise of disgust, Officer Ashton backhanded her hard across the face, sending her to the floor hard. She rolled once so her back was to them, and slowly sat up, pretending to have gotten the wind knocked out of her as she surreptitiously slid the switchblade into the outside of her right combat boot.

"Dick," she spat over her shoulder, as the other officer hauled her to her feet once more. She could feel blood from her split lip trickling down her chin but she refused to wipe it away.

"Hold out your right arm," the other officer commanded in a bored voice, opening the small box to reveal four large, silver bracelets.

"What the hell is that for?" Kat asked, taking a step back. Officer Ashton stepped up and grabbed her wrist, pushing up her sleeve and holding her arm out even as she struggled. The other officer snapped it on and she gasped in pain as the small, thin needles sank deep into her skin. "What the fuck is this thing?"

A second sharp pain, this time in her neck, made her gasp again. She clapped her free hand to her neck and spun around to see Officer Ashton taking a step back holding a syringe and wearing an evil smile. She could already feel the effects of the drug working through her system. Her vision blurred and Officer Ashton swam in and out of focus. Kat stumbled to her knees and fell over, staring up at him. He knelt down next to her. "Goodbye Katerina Hale," he whispered, still smiling. "I hope we never meet again." Kat's eyes drifted shut and everything went black.

Kat groaned and winced as she regained consciousness; her head felt thick and was throbbing unpleasantly. She tried to shift into a more comfortable position and frowned when she was unable to. What the hell? Her brain wasn't working properly and everything was fuzzy. … Something was holding her down. Suddenly it all came back in a rush. Officer Ashton, the bracelet, the syringe. Her eyes flew open.

She looked down and found she was harnessed to her chair by a pair of red straps. Someone had also put on a thin gray jacket over her white long sleeve shirt. She really hoped it wasn't Officer Ashton. Her stomach curled at the thought.

Her eye then caught on the silver bracelet on her wrist, an ugly, chunky thing about four inches wide. A small part on the top of it was black. _What the hell is this for?_ She shifted her legs once more and her eyes widened when she felt something in her shoe. The switchblade! She thanked every God, old and new that they hadn't found it. At least she had a weapon wherever they were going. Speaking of which….where were they going?

Steeling herself, Kat looked up and almost immediately locked eyes with a familiar pair of steely blue eyes.

Kat's heart gave a weird lurch in her chest and her whole body turned cold. "You have got to be _fucking_ kidding me."

Clarke Griffin rolled her eyes, a small smile on her face. "It's nice to see you too Kat."

"I wish I could say the same," Kat muttered under her breath. Her face was blank and her hands were resting calmly on her thighs, but inside she was a raging mess.

_Clarke fucking Griffin, sitting there with her perfect hair and her perfect, unblemished skin. This is all her fault – everything that happened on That Night was her fault! She had to go and open her giant mouth and –_ Abruptly, she cut herself off._ Calm down, Hale,_ she chastised herself, pushing her anger away for the moment. _There are bigger problems to worry about right now._

Taking a deep breath, Kat carefully unclenched her fingers from the death grip of strangulation that she had on the straps. She looked to the person sitting next to Clarke and did a double take when she saw yet another familiar face.

"Wells?" She asked, frowning. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Kat did not miss the sidelong glance that he sent Clarke's way before turning back to her, a twinkle in his eye. "I heard they were getting all the worst teenage criminals from the Ark together in a small, confined space and I really, really wanted to see the shit show that was sure to happen."

She blinked in surprise. "Huh. Well, you turned into a bit of a smart ass in the last four years."

Before he could respond, all of the sudden the lights flickered and a girl screamed as the ship began to shake. Kat gritted her teeth and resumed her grip on the straps of her harness. They were obviously moving, so she drew the logical conclusion and assumed they had left the Ark. But where were they headed? Her heart began pounding heavily in her chest. Where in the fuck were they going?

Her question was answered when more lights flickered on and the TV's that she hadn't known were there came to life and the Chancellor's face appeared.

"Prisoners of the Ark, hear me now," he began, looking very grave. Then again, whenever she saw him this was always how he looked. "You've been given a second chance. And as your Chancellor it is my hope that you see this as not just a chance for you, but a chance for all of us. Indeed, for mankind itself. We have no idea what is waiting for you down there. If the odds of survival were better we would have sent others. Frankly, we're sending you because your crimes have made you… expendable."

_Wow. Way to butter us up, Jaha_, she thought sarcastically.

"Your dad's a dick Wells!" Someone shouted. Kat frowned, watching Wells' shifted in his seat, an angry look on his face as he stared even harder at the TV. It seemed as if he wanted to shoot laser beams out of his eyes. If looks could kill, the TV would have exploded into a million pieces.

"Yeah Finn!"

"Spacewalk Finn, strikes again!" A guy cheered. Kat turned her head to find the source and her eyes widened when she saw a guy wearing a green beanie had unbuckled himself and was currently floating, horizontal to the floor. He crossed his arms and gently moved across so that he was floating between the two rows.

He grinned across at Wells. "Check it out. Your dad floated me after all."

Kat snorted appreciatively, chuckling under her breath. She looked up to find all three of them staring at her. "What?" She shrugged, eyes wide. "That was funny!"

Wells just shook his head, ignoring her. "Strap in before the parachutes deploy," he told Finn seriously.

Cheering came from their right and Kat craned her head to see two other guys beginning to unstrap their harnesses. "Hey, you two! Stay put if you want to live!" Clarke shouted over to them.

They ignored her of course. Kat certainly wished she could, but her incessant orders to the two idiots still managed to work their way to her ears.

The pod would occasionally shake, the lights would flicker, and Chancellor Jaha's grave voice was still giving them advice on how to survive, but the morons took off their harnesses anyway and with shit-eating grins on their faces, began to float around.

"Hey, you're the traitor that's been in solitary for a year," Finn said in front of her.

"You're the idiot who wasted a month of oxygen on an illegal spacewalk," Clarke countered right back.

"But it was fun!" He grinned. "I'm Finn."

Clarke looked at him for a moment and then seemed to notice the other two guys floating around. "Stay in your seats!" She tried again. Personally, Kat thought she was wasting her breath. There were no adults here telling them what to do. What made her think that they would listen to her?

Kat yelped as the pod suddenly jerked hard and slowed down. She clenched her harness tightly, watching with horrified eyes as the two floating boys flew up and crashed into the side of the pod hard. They smashed through some type of wire or pipe, which broke and started emitting steam. Sparks flew everywhere and the lights flickered worse than ever.

Kat's breathing picked up. When she pictured dying she didn't imagine herself hurtling down to earth in a metal pod with about a hundred other delinquents, possibly exploding or breaking bones or being pierced by something and slowly bleeding out. She would much rather be floated.

The two across from her were having a heated, shouting conversation but Kat couldn't bring herself to care enough to listen in. She was slowly counting to 100, keeping her face blank as she tried to calm her heart and her breathing. Her eyes drifted shut to attempt to block out the flickering lights and sparks flying through the air, the screams that came from the people around her. _1, 2, 3, 4, 5… don't think about crashing or exploding… 14, 15, 16, 17, 18…. Don't picture bones sticking out from people's skin…. 26, 27, 28, 29, 30…damn it Kat, stop being so morbid! Pull it together._

Her hands tightened their death grip on the harness as the pod gave one last violent shake and then went still. For about two seconds it was completely silent. No one moved or made a sound as they waited to see if anything else was going to happen. The engines slowly died as well. It was nice not being able to hear anything, but of course, it didn't last long.

Everybody was suddenly undoing their harnesses and rushing down the ladder to get to the door. Kat waited for the mad rush to head down before slowly getting out of her seat. She walked over to where the two boys who had followed Finn out of their seats were lying. They were very still. Too still. Finn himself crouched over them, a solemn look on his face. He looked up when she walked over and met her questioning eyes. He shook his head and looked down.

Kat stared at the two bodies, feeling nothing except a small twinge of sadness that they were going to miss this momentous day. She didn't know anything about these boys, not their names, their likes or dislikes or even what crimes they committed to end up here. And now their lives were ended, just like that.

She became aware of a commotion going on down below as someone shouted at everyone to stay back. Curious, Kat headed down the ladder herself, leaning against the sidewall as she watched to see what was going on. Everyone was gathered around the door, which was blocked by a guy in a guards uniform. He was tall with dark brown hair that was slicked back on his head and brown eyes. As Kat watched, Clarke shouted for him to stop and began to push her way to the front.

"The air could be toxic," she explained. Kat rolled her eyes. _So what, we should stay here in the pod all 100 – 98, _she corrected with a wince, _packed in here? That would be.. cozy. And probably suicidal. _

The guy in front was obviously thinking along the same lines because he said, "If the air is toxic, we're all dead anyway." He turned around to pull down the lever to open the door.

"Bellamy?" Came a soft, curious voice from Kat's left. She turned to see a beautiful girl with long brown hair and blue eyes step forward, staring at the guy in front. He slowly turned around to look at her as she continued to walk towards him. Kat crossed her arms as she watched the show in front of her. They obviously knew each other. Were they friends? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Exes?

"Oh my god," he said softly, his voice obviously full of emotion. He smiled. "Look how big you are." _Ok, that would be a weird thing to tell your girlfriend, _Kat thought, making a face. _Maybe they were old friends._

The girl threw her arms around him enthusiastically. "What the hell are you wearing?" She asked when she pulled back. "A guards uniform?"

"I borrowed it," he explained. "To get on the drop ship." Kat's eyebrow slowly went up. _Borrowed it? You mean stole it. Why would you steal a uniform to get on here? Actually, how did you know that this whole thing was happening in the first place?_

"Someone's gotta keep an eye on you," he continued. _Okay, so that explained one thing. He snuck on her to protect this girl, whoever she was._

She hugged Bellamy again, causing him to chuckle lightly. "Where's your wristband?" Clarke demanded, ruining the touching moment. That girl seriously needed to shut up. Every time Kat heard her speak she felt the strongest urge to bitch slap her in the face.

"Do you mind?" the other girl turned around to look at her in annoyance. "I haven't seen my brother in over a year." Surprise mingled with Kat's smug feeling at the sight of Clarke being told off. Brother? Now she knew who this girl was. The Blake family was famous around the Ark. Almost as famous as she was. One of the very first laws created on the Ark was that every family was allowed to have one child. A couple years ago Octavia was found in their apartment where she had basically been raised under the floor in secret. Their mother was floated immediately and Octavia was sent to the Sky Box. Kat never heard what happened to the brother.

"No one has a brother!" Someone shouted from the back.

"That's Octavia Blake, the girl they found hidden in the floor!" Someone else answered.

With a snarl on her face Octavia made to lunge towards the crowd, though Kat didn't know what she was planning to do – it was impossible to tell who said it – was she going to take on the entire crowd? She didn't make it very far because her brother wrapped an arm around her waist and said, "Octavia! Octavia, no! Let's give them something else to remember you by," he said urgently.

"Yeah? Like what?" She asked, the anger still clear in her voice.

"Being the first person on the ground in a hundred years."

Kat straightened, her heart beginning to race again. Octavia was grinning and Bellamy was turning to open the door. This was it. Kat hardly dared to believe it. For the first time in 100 years, mankind was going to see Earth. True, she may die very quickly from radiation poisoning, but she was going to enjoy every moment that she could.

Bellamy pulled the lever and the door sprang open. The first thing Kat saw was white. She squinted against the brightness, blinking rapidly to clear her vision. As it did, Kat let out the breath that she didn't realize she had been holding. Color. There was so much color. From what she could see from behind the rest of the delinquents was the bright green grass, the tall, strong trees with green leaves and the bright sunlight shining down from the clear blue sky.

"We're back bitches!" Octavia screamed, throwing back her head and raising both arms above her head. Kat blinked as she became aware of her surroundings once more. She hadn't even realized that Octavia had stepped onto the ground. Everyone rushed out after, yelling and screaming their excitement and joy.

Kat slowly walked forward after they had all run off and made her way down the ramp. Was this real? Were they really on Earth? Maybe Officer Ashton had knocked her out and floated her anyway. Maybe she was actually dead and this was all just some afterlife dream or something. Holding her breath, Kat stepped off the ramp and onto the solid ground. She fell to her knees, letting her hands brush over the grass and dig into the ground to feel the soil. Looking around, she decided one thing. If this was some type of dream then she didn't ever want to wake up.

She took a deep breath of real air, real oxygen and felt the first real smile in four years spread across her face. They were home... and she was finally free.

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**Author's Note: So that's it! If you like the story so far, please leave a review! It'll most definitely encourage me to put up the next chapter sooner :)**


	2. Spiraling Into Darkness

Disclaimer: I do not own The 100

**Author's Note: To all who reviewed, thank you again! It makes my day getting those emails :) I feel like I should apologize in advance for how long this chapter is, but I don't think you guys will be complaining. I just couldn't find a good way to break it up. Anyway, hope you like it! Review, por favor!**

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Chapter 2: Spiraling into Darkness

For a brief moment Kat sat there, letting the dirt slide through her fingers and fall back to the floor. Filled with a sudden restless energy, Kat lurched to her feet and took off at a run. Eyes wide, she took in everything she could as she raced across the ground, leaping over logs and boulders. For the first time in almost 18 years she could actually run. She wasn't cramped in a metal cell anymore – there was so much _space_ here. Her breathing quickly grew labored and there was a painful stitch in her side but she pushed herself a little bit farther before she stopped. Throwing herself to the ground, Kat lay there with her arms spread wide, panting, the smile still on her face as she looked up into the clear blue sky. She felt dizzy, though she didn't know if it was because her body was in shock from breathing in real air or because she was experiencing so many emotions that her body didn't know how to handle it.

_I can't believe I'm here_, she thought, eyes slowly filling with tears. She snorted at herself, shaking her head and blinking rapidly. If there was one thing that Katerina Hale did not do it was cry. She didn't cry when her parents died or when she got arrested. There was no way that she was going to start now.

With a happy sigh, Kat sat up and scooted back so she was resting against a tree. She reached into her combat boot and pulled out the switchblade. Turning it over in her hands she looked down at it with mixed feelings. She flicked it open and held it in front of her face, looking at her distorted reflection for the first time in a long time.

She barely recognized herself. Her face was older and more mature; she definitely didn't look like a 13-year-old girl anymore. The first thing she noticed, the one major difference, was the three inch white scar on her face. She turned her head to the right, lightly running a finger on it. It went from the corner of her left eyebrow, around her actual eye and ended about an inch or so below it. There was also the cut from the split lip that Officer Asston had given her.

The corner of her mouth twitched. It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Actually, with her grey eyes and pitch-black hair it made her look kind of badass. In her opinion anyway. Her good mood still intact, Kat looked back down at the knife. It's been four years since she held it. What were the chances that she still knew how to wield it?

She stood up, carefully keeping an eye on the blade while she gave it a few experimental tosses. Shifting her feet, Kat held the blade tightly in one hand while running through a few different thrusts and parries. The movements felt awkward and unfamiliar – not only was she rusty, but she was never a professional knife fighter. Her father taught her how to use one, but she never had a real person to fight against. Still, it made her feel better knowing she had it with her.

Kat held the tip of the blade carefully between three fingers, eyeing the tree in front of her. She shifted her stance so her left leg was leading and brought her right arm back directly behind her, never moving her eyes from the tree. With a deep breath in and a steady exhale, Kat brought her arm straight down with a snap and watched as the knife flew through the air and… missed the tree completely. Kat winced in embarrassment. She could almost see her father standing there, arms crossed and a disgusted sneer on his face. With a sigh, she went looking for her knife. She really needed to practice.

**Bellamy's POV**

Bellamy crossed his arms, watching what was going on in front of him with narrowed eyes. They had just landed on Earth and already a few of the "privileged" were trying to convince half the group that they needed to go to Mount Weather in order to find food. There was no way he was going to let Clarke Griffin and the Chancellor's son take control of the group – then there would be no sure way to protect Octavia and ensure his survival. With a few well-placed arrogant comments, he felt the tension within the group increase exponentially.

One of the delinquents grew angry at something the Chancellor's son said and he charged forward, giving him a shove.

"Look at this everybody. The Chancellor of Earth," he said in a sarcastic drawl. Bellamy grinned appreciatively at the nickname.

"You think that's funny?" Wells asked.

Moving quickly, the guy with the brown hair hooked an ankle around Well's foot and gave him another shove, causing him to fall back on his ass.

"Wells!" Clarke called, trying to move forward. She was quickly held back by one of the other guys' friends.

"Well that was," the guy muttered as he stood over Wells, looking smug. People in the crowd were cheering as they watched what might very well turn into a fight.

Wells struggled to his feet, a pained yet angry expression on his face as he hobbled slightly. He must have twisted an ankle or something when he fell.

"Alright," the guy grinned as Wells finally stood with both fists raised.

"Wow," came a voice to Bellamy's right. He turned to see a girl push her way through the crowd, crossing her arms when she saw what was going on in front of her. She was fairly tall, coming up to his chin with smooth white skin and black hair that was thrown up in a high ponytail. He couldn't see her face from where he was standing.

"Really?" She asked, in a voice full of sarcasm and disbelief. "We haven't even been here an hour yet and you're already trying to start a fight?" She cocked her head to the side and the corner of her mouth turned up as her voice turned sympathetic. Her eyes flicked to the boy trying to fight Wells. "Are you really that aggressive or are you trying to over compensate for something?"

Bellamy let out a surprised laugh as she raised her left pinky and moved it up and down.

The guy's face flushed angrily as laughter echoed around him. "Who the fuck are you?" He spat, glaring at her.

"That's Katerina Hale," Bellamy heard someone say behind him. "The girl who murdered the Commander before Shumway."

The effect of that statement was immediate and unsettling. The crowd was shocked into silence for a full three seconds before the muttering broke out. People shifted uneasily and Bellamy even thought he saw a few of those closest to her take a step back.

Katerina turned her head to look for the speaker and their eyes met. Bellamy felt shock run through him though he didn't know why. It could have been any number of things: the white scar that was visible on the left side of her face paired with a split lower lip, her piercing silver-gray eyes or the fact that she was really quite pretty. Although she definitely didn't look capable of throwing a punch let alone murdering a fully-grown man. Never mind the fact that the man was trained in combat.

The corner of her mouth lifted as she broke eye contact and looked at the people behind him. "Thanks for the introduction," she bowed her head slightly. "But I think the whole title is a little excessive. I really would just prefer Kat." She turned back to the two boys who were still staring at her in shock. "Now, this isn't about me. I believe we were waiting for you guys to finish proving that you are big, strong, capable men," she challenged, crossing her arms. "Proceed."

They seemed confused by the fact that she wasn't going to try and stop the fight. Wells shifted slightly and both of them tensed again turning towards each other. The guy with brown hair faked a punch with a grin, waving Wells forward. Just as people started cheering again and egging them on, the Spacewalker jumped off from the side of the ship and landed between the two boys. The crowd fell silent again.

"Kid's got one leg," the Spacewalker told the guy with brown hair. "How about you wait until it's a fair fight." Although it sounded like a question, the Spacewalkers face and stance suggested otherwise.

Bellamy eyed him with speculation – he was going to have to keep an eye on that one.

"Hey Spacewalker!" Octavia called, striding forward. Bellamy fought the urge to groan by clenching his teeth. "Rescue me next," she suggested her voice dropping down an octave. The Spacewalker chuckled and just like that the tension seemed to dissipate.

The guy with the brown hair turned to Kat and he shoved a finger in her face. "I'll deal with you later," he snarled. "This isn't over!"

Kat's eyebrows went up as she looked at him. "I can hardly wait," she said drily. "Bye!" she called, waving her pinky finger again as the guy turned his back on them and walked away with the rest of his gang.

The crowd was rapidly dispersing. Spacewalker strolled away, Clarke went to help Wells with his ankle and Bellamy slowly walked up to his sister, an exasperated look on his face.

"What? He's cute," she shrugged as if that explained everything.

"He's a criminal."

"They're all criminals," Octavia said slowly as if he were an idiot. "Speaking of…" She said, looking around. "Hey! Kat!" Octavia waved, making the girl turn around in surprise.

"Octavia!" Bellamy hissed as she walked towards her. She sent him a pointed look but otherwise totally ignored him.

He wasn't part of the conversation but he could still hear what they were saying. He didn't think this Kat person was capable of doing any real damage, but he still kept a close eye on them.

"Hello," Kat said, looking at Octavia curiously.

"Hey," Octavia greeted, walking up to her with that reckless grin. "I'm Octavia Blake."

"Kat Hale," She answered, shaking Octavia's offered hand. "Aren't you supposed to be afraid of me? They say I killed the Commander, you know."

Octavia shrugged. "I don't know if you did or didn't. Just figured I'd introduced myself to the only other person here who everybody already knows. Plus, you know, if you are a murderer it would probably be smart of me to get on your good side."

Kat shoved her hands into her jacket pockets, returning Octavia's grin. "So who do you think is more famous; you or me?"

"Hard to say," Octavia said thoughtfully. "We both broke some pretty big laws up on the Ark."

"True." Kat's eyes flickered over Octavia's shouldered and met his. "Listen I better go. Between the holes your brother is boring into my head with his glare and the constipated look on his face, I'd say he either doesn't want you talking to me or he wants to talk to you himself."

Octavia rolled her eyes, shooting him a glare over her shoulder. "Don't pay any attention to him."

"It's alright. I've got lots of things I gotta do like-"

"Kat!"

He watched Kat look over to see Clarke calling her from where she was standing with Finn and Wells. A flicker of annoyance passed over her face before to a blank expression replaced it. "What?" Kat asked sounding bored.

"Are you coming with us? We could use some extra hands."

"I'll pass," Kat said flatly.

Clarke faltered, frowning in confusion at either her tone or response, clearly unsure why Kat was being so hostile toward her.

Octavia looked back and forth between the two of them. "Did you know her, up on the Ark?" She asked curiously.

Kat was silent for a moment before meeting Bellamy's eyes over Octavia's shoulder. "Knew her," she finally said. "I'm gunna go before she corners me and tries to give me a lecture about teamwork or something. I'll catch you later."

Bellamy felt his eyebrows raise, feeling intrigued. Clarke, Princess of the Ark and Kat, the number one teenage criminal of the decade had some sort of relationship back on the Ark. It was an unlikely pairing and he couldn't help but wonder what sort of history they had between them.

"Later," Octavia waved as Kat strolled away before turning around and walking back to her brother. "You know, you don't have to be such an overprotective moron, Bellamy."

He shook his head, any thoughts of Kat and Clarke evaporating from his mind as he refocused on the most important thing – Octavia. He grabbed Octavia's arm to pull her away from anyone who could possible overhear them. "Look O, the whole reason I came down here was to protect you."

"I don't _need_ protecting," she emphasized, yanking her arm out of his grip angrily. "I have been locked up, one way or another, all my life! I am _done_ following orders." Bellamy looked down, feeling that familiar guilt creep over him. "I need to have fun, Bell," she said in a softer voice, trying to get him to see her side. "I need to just… do something crazy just because I can and no one, including you, is going to stop me."

She didn't seem to understand the risk he had taken to come down here for her. "I can't stay with them all."

"Now what are you talking about?" She asked in an exasperated voice.

Bellamy glanced at the group of people laughing behind him and guided her to a more secluded area. "I did something, okay? To get on the drop ship, something that they will kill me for when they come down." Octavia's eyes immediately filled with confusion and concern. "I can't say what it is just yet but you have to trust me. You do still trust me, don't you?"

She nodded. "Yeah." She glanced towards the front of the ship, and back at him. "But you need to trust me too, Bellamy. If you keep trying to tell me what to do I think I'm going to go crazy." She waited until he gave her a reluctant nod before walking away.

"Sounds like a party," He heard Octavia say when she walked up to the Spacewalker, Clarke, Wells and two dorky looking dudes. Grumbling under his breath, Bellamy hurried after her. "Make it five!"

"Hey," Bellamy touched her shoulder. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Going for a walk," she answered in a tight voice, moving out of his grip once again.

"Hey!" Clarke said suddenly, striding forward and grabbing the Spacewalkers wrist to look at the wristband. "Did you try and take this off?"

"Yeah? So?"

"So this wristband transmits your vital signs to the Ark. Take it off and they'll think you're dead."

"Should I care?"

"I don't know, do you want the people you love to think you're dead? Do you want them to follow you down here in two months because they won't if they think we're dying!" When he didn't say anything she continued. "Okay. Now let's go."

They started to walk away and Octavia turned to look at him, an expectant expression on her face. "Go on," he gestured with his head. A grin spread across her face and she gave him a hurried kiss on the cheek before running off after the others. He stared after her, thinking back to what the loud blonde had been saying. A plan was already beginning to form in his mind…

**Kat's POV**

Kat sat on a log, elbows resting on her knees as she watched people continue to celebrate. They were singing, laughing and dancing but she couldn't bring herself to join them. Partly because she sounded like a dying animal when she sang and partly because she wasn't in the mood for dancing.

She sighed. Already she had to deal with the sidelong glances and the whispered conversations as people passed her. One girl even looked up as Kat was walking towards her, stopped with wide eyes and turned to basically run in the other direction. It almost felt like _she_ was toxic instead of the air.

She started as someone sat down on the log next to her. She turned her head and saw that it was the Blake boy. What was his name again? Something with a B…

"So. Did you really kill the Commander?" He asked out of nowhere.

Kat grinned at his audacity, so different from the way everyone else was tiptoeing around her. "Oh you're just gunna jump right in there, aren't you? Okay. If we're asking personal things about each other then I've got one for you. How did you steal that guard's uniform and sneak on to the drop ship?" She challenged.

They stared at each other for a moment. "Touché," he said quietly, his smile fading slightly.

She gave him a questioning look. "I mean seriously. I don't even know you, why would I tell you anything?"

He was quiet for a moment. "Hi, I'm Bellamy Blake," he greeted. Kat looked from his outstretched hand and up to his twinkling brown eyes.

"Bellamy," Kat said softly, shaking his hand. "That's an oddly beautiful name for a boy."

"Beautiful?" He repeated, throwing her a mock offended look. "Beautiful? Come on, have you seen me? If there are any words that are associated with my name and me it'll be more along the lines of," he paused for dramatic effect. "Handsome. Manly. Ruggedly good-looking."

Kat raised the corner of her mouth into a smirk, feeling entertained despite herself. "No, I'm pretty sure I meant beautiful. Bellamy," She said again slowly. "It really just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? What do people call you for short? Bells? Bella?"

"You think you're funny, don't you?"

Kat shrugged. "Maybe a little."

"Well what about your name?" Bellamy asked, cocking his head to the side.

"What about it?"

"Your name is Kat," he said as if that should explain everything. "Like the animal."

"So?" She frowned.

"So… you don't look anything like a cat." His eyes ran over her face. "With your small button nose, wide eyes and thin frame you look more like a kitten."

"Do _not_ even think about calling me kitten," she warned, grey eyes flashing as entertainment was quickly replaced with irritation.

His grin widened at her reaction. "Sure thing… Kitten." With an angry huff, Kat made to get up and walk away, not seeming to realize that her hand was still in his. He gave it a gentle tug, making her sit back down. She looked down at their hands, noticing the difference in skin color. His large, somehow golden tan hand completely enveloped her small pale one.

Kat looked back up at his amused face. "Are you going to let go or are we going to sit here and hold hands all day?" She felt annoyed. She _literally_ did the same immature trick with Officer Ashton and his nickname this morning, except this time she was the one who showed the predictable reaction.

Bellamy let go, raising his hands in the air in a defensive gesture. "Look I didn't come over here to annoy you-"

"You didn't."

He smiled knowingly but continued on anyway. "-I just wanted to warn you. You made a real enemy today." He nodded to the guy who shoved Wells earlier and they both turned to watch him stomp through the forest with the rest of his gang trailing behind him. "I mean, questioning the guys manhood and implying that he has a small dick is bad enough, but to do it in front of the entire group? Not the smartest thing you could have done."

Kat rested her chin on her hand, still watching the other guy. "Do you think he looks more like a rat or a frog?" She asked in a wondering voice.

"What?" He asked, sounding bewildered.

"You're right, I was thinking more like a frog too. It's something about his eyes…"

"I- did you listen to anything I just said?" He asked, exasperated.

Kat sighed, dropping her arm and turning to face him. "Yes, I heard what you said. It's very… thoughtful of you to try and warn me, but I don't need nor want your help. I can take care of myself."

"Right," Bellamy nodded slowly. "Because you murdered the Commander and all that."

Kat paused, frowning at the tone of his voice. She looked up into his face, searching and suddenly she knew. Bellamy didn't believe that she had murdered the Commander, didn't believe that she was capable of it. She didn't know how that made her feel. Ever since that day, everyone who had heard what had happened had always believed she was guilty. After a moment, she decided it didn't matter either way.

It was good to be underestimated. Let people pretend that they have some idea of who she was. This way, there were no expectations for her. This way, if need be, she could shut them all up and prove them wrong.

With a sigh, Kat rolled her eyes and stood up. "Hey Blake?" She waited with a polite smile until he looked up at her, then bent down until she was level with him and said in a soft whisper. "Try and keep in mind that you know nothing about me or my life, before you go making snap judgments, okay?"

"Sure thing, Kitten," he nodded, a patronizing smile on his face and Kat felt irritation run through her again. With one hand she shoved hard on his chest, watching with a satisfied grin as his arms pin wheeled before he fell backwards off the log, landing on his back with his legs dangling slightly in the air. "What the fuck was that?" He snapped angrily, coming up to rest on one elbow.

"Sorry," She grinned down at him, widening her eyes innocently. "Your neck was looking a little tired, you know, from holding up that giant, over-inflated ego you call a head. I felt bad for it." She shrugged. "Anyway, see you around Bells!" She waved before turning around and walking away.

There was a paused and then… "Seriously?" She heard him yell from behind her. Her grin widened. Juvenile and immature, true, but oh so satisfying.

Kat slowly walked through the forest, looking around. She was still feeling restless; maybe she should have agreed to go with Clarke and the others on their trek to Mount Weather. A moment later she snorted. She had just realized the she would be spending an indeterminable about of time with a girl she had hated for four years – she didn't trust that she'd be able to handle her emotions quite yet.

It was kind of ironic. When she was stuck in her cell she had nothing but time with nothing to do – until her execution date of course. Now she was free and she really did have nothing but time – her whole life, really – and _still_, she had nothing to do.

Her eyes fell on Wells, who was walking through the forest toward the ship carrying a bunch of small logs and sticks in his arms. Eyebrows furrowed, Kat abruptly changed directions and headed towards him.

"Hey," She greeted as she cautiously approached him. She didn't know how he would react after her part in the almost-fight this morning.

Wells head raised and he just looked at her for a long moment. Kat couldn't read the expression on his face. "Hey," he finally said.

"What are you doing?" She asked curiously, watching as he dumped the branches in a pile in front of the drop ship.

"Collecting some wood for a fire. It's going to get dark in a couple hours."

"Can I help?"

Wells jerked a shoulder up. "Sure. I guess."

He turned and walked away, back towards the forest and Kat trudged along behind him. Even through his jacket she could tell that his shoulders were tense and hunched. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he was not a happy person.

If she had considered Clarke a friend back in the day (which she didn't), then Wells was more of an acquaintance. They had a bunch of the same classes when they were growing up, but Kat tended to keep to herself – by choice of course. It wasn't her fault that Clarke was a persistent son of a bitch that couldn't take a hint.

The sounds of the other delinquents eventually faded as they walked.

"You need to look for small sticks and things as well as slightly bigger logs, maybe as big as your arm," he muttered shortly.

She frowned. _What would a normal person with friends do in this situation? Change the topic? Tell a funny story?_ She inwardly grinned at that one. Kat didn't know any funny stories. _Ask him how he's feeling? Guys don't normally like to talk about their feelings though. Then again neither do I._ Ah, what the hell. It was worth a shot. "Are you alright?" She asked tentatively.

Normally Kat could give two shits about how someone was feeling. But Wells had always been kind to her back on the Ark and she felt bad with how he was being treated down here on the ground.

_Wrong move,_ she thought with wide eyes as Wells suddenly dropped everything that he was carrying and spun on his heel to get right in her face. "Am I alright?" He repeated in a disbelieving snarl. "I was just launched thousands of miles in space in a drop ship with almost one hundred criminals, crash landed in a radiation soaked forest, my best friend hates me, and to top it all off, everyone else does too because my father either had them locked up or gave the order to have one of their family members floated! Does it sound like I'm alright?" He shouted angrily.

Kat blinked, but didn't move a muscle. Wells was breathing heavily, fists clenched tightly at his side as he stared at her. A couple of seconds later he took a deep breath and stumbled back a few steps. "I'm sorry," he said, wiping a hand wearily over his face. "I didn't mean to-"

"Yes you did," Kat interrupted. "But that's okay. If you need to scream and shout a bit more, maybe throw a few things, I don't mind. I can take it."

"You mean that, don't you?" Wells asked curiously. Kat nodded. "Thanks, but I think I'm alright for now."

Kat accepted that in silence as she followed his lead and helped him pick up the sticks that he had dropped. Now what? Feeling incredibly awkward and out of her depth, Kat said, "I wouldn't take what the others say personally. They're looking for someone to blame and since it was your father who has the unfortunate task of giving the orders, you're an easy target. As for your Clarke issue, I'm the wrong person to give advice seeing as I'm not her biggest fan but I guess just be there for her." She debated asking why Clarke was mad at him but didn't think it appropriate. "Right. And as for the whole crash landing on Earth thing – you really need to stop and take a breath of the radiation soaked air," she said with a grin.

"Do you realize that we are the first people in almost 100 years to be here?" She asked, eyes lighting up as she shoved her bundle of sticks under one arm and gestured with another. "We're breathing real air, not that stale shit that they had to make on the Ark. These trees, they're real! This giant tree started out as something tiny, and then with a little water and sunlight it grew into this! There's something amazing about that isn't there?"

Wells looked from her to the trees with a reluctantly amused expression. "You really feel passionate about this don't you?"

"Of course," Kat said, feeling like this should be obvious. "The earth is this beautiful, fascinating, mysterious place. It's almost definitely dangerous, cause you know, every breath we breathe could be bringing us closer to death. Never mind the fact that we still don't know what's out there." Kat paused to pick up another stick. She pointed it at him, a thoughtful expression on her face. "It could also be because I was supposed to be floated next week and all of the sudden I'm looking at the rest of my life. Barring any unforeseen complications, obviously."

Wells picked up a few more sticks before looking at her from the corner of his eye. "And you don't… blame me for any of that? Like the others?"

"No," Kat answered honestly. "Your dad never floated any of my family and I don't blame him for locking me up."

Wells stared at her incredulously. "You know, everyone thought you were a little… odd back in school."

She snorted. "I'm well aware of what everyone thought."

"Yeah well, I'm starting to think it's true."

She opened her mouth to respond hotly, but snapped it back shut again at the teasing glint in his eye. He turned to continue walking and she followed willingly, a small smile playing around the edges of her mouth.

They continued walking for a while in silence until their arms were full. "We should turn back," he said.

Kat nodded before falling back into step with him. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"If they really wanted to see if the Earth was inhabitable, why did they send a bunch of juvenile delinquents? We don't know anything about finding food, which plants or fruit are edible or not. We don't have engineers who can figure out how to fix the communication system on the ship. What if someone gets really hurt or sick? Are they going to die because we don't know how to save them? It just doesn't make any sense."

"Didn't you hear my father?" Wells said bitterly. "They don't know if the Earth is safe and we're _expendable_."

"But still," Kat insisted. "We're not their best chance of determining if Earth is inhabitable. They sent a bunch of teenagers - "

"I don't know. My father didn't exactly explain his decision to me." Wells snapped over his shoulder.

_Okay, _Kat thought. _Touchy subject._ She fell silent again as they made their way back to the drop ship. She added her sticks to Wells growing pile and straightened up, staring down at it with her hands on her hips.

"Did you find any water yet?" Kat looked to her left and almost groaned out loud when she saw who was standing there. It was frog boy and his silent friend with short-cropped black hair and dark skin.

"No, not yet," Wells said straightening, trailing off when he also saw who it was. "I'm going back out if you want to come." Kat raised her eyebrows at the offer then turned to look at what was carved into the side of the ship. It read "First son, First to dye."

Frog boy gave a dark chuckle, and for the first time Kat noticed that he had a knife in his hand, obviously one that he made. Where the hell did he learn to do that? "You know, my father, he begged for mercy in the airlock chamber when your father floated him." Understanding dawned on Kat's face. At least now they knew why he had such a giant stick up his ass.

Kat's eyes flickered back to Wells, who had a hardened look on his face. He walked past Frog boy and his friend, making sure to brush shoulders. "You spelled die wrong, geniuses."

They watched him walk away for a moment. "He's right, you know," Kat said, speaking up for the first time. "If you meant die like a person's life is ending it's d-i-e. This dye means to color something, like clothes for instance. So unless you meant that the first son's are the first to dye clothes, then you've spelt it correctly." She gave them both an innocent smile before heading off in the opposite direction from Wells. She figured she'd give him some time alone since he probably wasn't in the best mood and went off to do some more exploring.

A few hours later, Kat found herself sitting on yet another log, this time around a huge bonfire that someone had set up when the sun had gone down. She stared into it, mesmerized by the colors of the fire, how high the flames reached and the tiny sparks that jumped up from the ground before dying out. It was constantly moving, constantly writhing in the air – a beautiful and dangerous thing. The noise from the crowd around her grew louder. They sounded wild and slightly insane. She stared harder into the flames, trying to ignore them, but it was almost impossible.

Unwillingly, her eyes moved to the right where frog-boy, whose real name was actually Murphy. He was bending over another person who was holding their arm on a log to get their bracelets taken off. John, the dark silent boy, was standing with Murphy and holding the guys arm still while Murphy would pry off the bracelet with a long piece of metal from the ship The crowd was chanting "take it off" and when it was off the boy raised both hands over his head triumphantly, making the crowd cheer louder still.

Kat sat there, watching with mixed feelings. Bellamy had riled them all up with talk of how the people on the Ark would never forgive them for their crimes when they came down to Earth. He told them that they would still be executed for breaking the law. Her eyes flickered to where he was standing a little off to the side, arms crossed and a smug smile on his face as he watched.

He knew exactly what to say to make them afraid. These kids didn't want to be executed or locked up again. They were down here and they were free. They wanted to live! So what should they do? Bellamy had an answer for that one too. If they didn't want everyone on the Ark coming to earth, then they needed to make them believe that it wasn't safe. That people down here were dying. When the bracelets were taken off, it appeared as though it's wearer was dead. So if everyone took their bracelets off, the people on the ark would think that it wasn't safe and they would stay right where they were.

It was a smart plan. A clever plan. Hell, when Bellamy spoke she wanted to shout and yell with the rest of them. She didn't want to finally be free just to have them come down here and either kill her or lock her up again. So she could understand where they were coming from.

But something about it just felt wrong. When she thought about the four thousand people stuck on that Ark, her stomach twisted unpleasantly. Shouldn't they get the chance to come down here and be free too? Should she sacrifice her happiness and her freedom for the rest of the people up there or should she say screw you and think only about her survival?

As if feeling her gaze, Bellamy turned his head and their eyes met. With his smug smile still in place, he walked towards her, a definite swagger in his step. Kat stood, feeling like she needed to be on an even field with him.

"Hey, Kitten," he greeted, stopping in front of her. Kat fought the urge to take a step back, instead tilting her head up so she could see his face. He was too close to her, in her personal space and she knew he did it on purpose. She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her take a step back.

"Blake," she nodded back, ignoring the stupid nickname. "Not even here for a full day and already making moves to become leader of juvenile delinquents? How ambitious of you. Should I start calling you 'King of the Forest' now?"

"That's not necessary. Although…" Bellamy cocked his head to the side, his eyes flickering down to her lips briefly. "Coming from you, Kitten, I really wouldn't mind."

"Don't call me that," she snapped automatically, flushing without knowing why.

A particularly loud cheer broke the moment and they both looked over as yet another person had successfully taken off their bracelets. Bellamy's grin widened as he turned back to her. "What about you, _Kat_?"

"What about me?"

"Are you going to let Murphy take your bracelet off? Send your very own fuck you to the people who locked you away?"

"Why?"

His eyebrows drew together in puzzlement. "What do you mean, why? Do you really want them to come down here and kill you?"

Kat shook her head. "No, I mean why are you doing all this?" She asked, gesturing to the cheering crowd around them.

He still looked confused. "Do you really think they'll forgive you and everyone else here? If they think we're all dead-"

"So you're telling me you're going through all this trouble to help _us_?" She interrupted him, watching him carefully.

"Of course," Bellamy said shortly. "Why else would I be doing it?" He shifted and looked away, but not before she saw a glimpse of something in his eyes. Fear. She knew it well and she knew what it looked like. Bellamy was afraid of something. But what? Kat never got the chance to ask.

"Who's next?" Bellamy shouted, turning from her and looking out into the crowd.

Kat looked past Bellamy and cursed under her breath. Wells had just walked into the firelight, looking around with wide eyes, his face a mixture of disbelief and anger. This was not going to end well.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked, eyes narrowed.

Bellamy held out a hand as that John kid made to move toward Wells, a dark look on his face. "We're liberating ourselves," Bellamy explained, making sure that his voice was loud enough for everyone to hear. "What does it look like?"

"It looks like you're trying to get us all killed." Bellamy looked away, annoyed as Wells continued. He turned to face the crowd, trying to talk some sense into them. "The communications system is dead. These wristbands are all we've got! Take them off and they'll think we're dying! That it's not safe for them to follow!"

"That's the point… Chancellor. We can take care of ourselves. Can't we?" He called back to the crowd. He smirked at Wells as the crowd chorused a cheer of 'Yeah!' behind him.

"You think this is a game? Those aren't just our friends and our parents up there." Wells looked at her briefly. "They're our farmers, our doctors, our engineers!" Kat's eyes flickered to Bellamy. He shifted, looking at the crowd uneasy. "I don't care what he tells you! We won't survive here on our own!" Wells turned back to Bellamy. "And besides, if it really is safe, how could you not want the rest of our people to come down?"

Bellamy's face hardened. "My people, already are down. _Those_ people," He stressed, pointing to the sky. "Locked my people up. Those people killed my mother for the crime of having a second child. Your father did that."

"My father didn't write the laws."

"No. He enforced them. But not anymore. Not here. Here, there are no laws," Bellamy's voice grew progressively louder. "Here, we do whatever the hell we want, whenever the hell we want! You don't have to like it Wells, you can even try to stop it – change it – kill me. You know why? Whatever the hell we want!"

Kat watched him, unable to name the feeling inside her. The crowd was captivated by him, hanging on his every word. The firelight danced across his face accentuating his jaw line and making him look older. Stronger. And even though Kat didn't agree with what he was saying, she wanted to. Damn, she wanted to.

A drop landed on her face, startling her out of her ridiculous thoughts. She looked around, confused, and then it was if someone had turned on the faucet. Water suddenly started pouring down on their heads. She slowly walked away from the fire, tuning out her once again cheering fellow delinquents.

Rain. She couldn't believe it. It was _raining_. She had heard stories, but they didn't do it justice. Kat stared up in wonder at the water falling from the angry, slate gray clouds in the sky. It was a heavy, steady rain that had soaked her within seconds, making her hair and clothes stick close to her body. She watched in wonder as the rain hit the tops of the trees, dripping onto the leaves before finally falling to the ground where it gathered in puddles, making the grass soft and soggy. The sound of the rain hitting the leaves and the ground calmed her body as she listened and the smell. It was peculiar but if Kat had to put a name to it she would have to say it was full of promise.

Kat tilted her head up to the sky, closing her eyes as the rain hit her face. Grinning widely, she opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue, gathering a mouthful of water and swallowing it. Eyes still closed, she flung her arms out to the side and spun in a circle. Her hair, which she had taken down when it started to rain, clung to her face and neck. With a happy sigh, Kat flopped down on a soft patch of grass that was partially protected by the trees and watched the rainfall.

Wells found her there hours later, eyes closed and dozing slightly. A twig snapped under his foot and her eyes flew open.

"Sorry," he winced apologetically. She waved it away, resting her head back against the tree and looking up at him. He glanced down at her uncertainly. "May I?" He asked, gesturing to the tree across from her. She nodded and he sat down.

They looked at each other for a few moments. "I feel like I should ask you if you're alright, but the last time I did that it didn't go so well," She said with a grin.

"Yeah I'm sorry about that," He said again, looking slightly ashamed.

"No big deal," Kat shrugged. "You have a lot going on right now."

"Yeah. Can you believe that everyone bought what Bellamy was saying earlier?" Wells asked, the disgust clear in his voice.

"Yes," Kat said truthfully. She looked back at him to see the incredulous look on his face. She shrugged again. "He's strong, persuasive and outspoken. And it helps that he's saying exactly what everyone wants to hear."

Wells rolled his eyes. "You're only saying that because you think he's attractive."

Kat's eyes widened and she felt her face flush. Thank god it was dark. "I- what- He… I do not!" She sputtered, automatically denying what he was saying.

"It's okay, Kat, you're not the only one. All the girls here are already watching him with those googly eyes. I swear one of them almost fainted when he walked by-"

"Wells," she interrupted, looking him in the eye. "I am _not_ attracted to Bellamy Blake."

"Alright, alright," Wells chuckled raising his hands. "Whatever you say. Listen, is it alright if I sleep here? Everywhere else is still pretty soaked from the rain. Plus, everyone else here annoys me," he added.

"And I don't?" Kat asked with a knowing smirk.

He gave her a grudging smile. "You less so then others."

She thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. "I'll take it. The tree's all yours."

"Thanks," he said, settling down. "Night."

"Night," she murmured as he closed his eyes.

Kat, however, was wide-awake, still in shock about his previous comment. She was _not_ attracted to Bellamy Blake. So what if he was tall and had deep brown eyes and a rough, husky voice? So what if he had high cheekbones and a strong jaw line? If she felt any sort of emotion for Blake it would have to be irritation and a mild curiosity for what is driving him to go through all of this. Yeah, she nodded to herself resolutely. That was definitely it.

Besides, Kat had never been attracted to another person before. She was sure that she would know what it would feel like when it actually happened. She briefly contemplated her non-existent love life. Being locked up for most of her teen years has seriously screwed her over on that point. She's never been attracted to a boy, never had sex, hell, she's never even had her first kiss. Anything beyond that was just pointless. In her opinion, true love didn't exist. And if what she witness during her life was love…then she didn't want any part of it.

With a derisive snort at the absurdity of her thoughts, Kat shook her head and stood up to relieve herself before trying to get some sleep. Lost in her thoughts, she wandered a little farther out from where they had made their temporary camp and took care of her business. On the way back, she was so preoccupied that she almost ran into a short boy with light brown hair.

"Oh shit, sorry-"

"Have you seen Bellamy or Murphy?" The boy snapped angrily. "These two douche bags stole my jacket."

"No, sorry," Kat shrugged. "Haven't seen them." With an angry curse the boy stalked off. Kat shook her head and yawned, thoughts of the soft patch of grass calling to her. Man, what a day. She really hoped that she would be able to get some sleep. Maybe when she woke up in the morning Blondie and the others would be back with food.

With a happy sigh at the thought, Kat snuggled into the soft grass at the foot of her tree and closed her eyes. A second later, she frowned and sat up, looking across to where Wells had been sleeping not 5 minutes ago. It was empty.

Kat got up again, squinting into the darkness. "Wells?" She called softly. She waited for an answer but none came. "Wells? If you're out there, answer me. This isn't funny!" Still no answer.

Unease settled over her like a blanket. Bellamy and Murphy weren't at the camp…and now Wells was missing. Her mind flashed back to the scene by the fireplace a couple of hours ago and all of the sudden Kat wasn't tired anymore. There was no such thing as coincidences. She had a _very_ bad feeling about this.

Spinning around in a circle, Kat looked for clues about where Wells could have gone but found nothing. Muttering under her breath, Kat picked a random direction and set off at a jog. It was completely possible that she was over reacting. But the tight knot at the pit of her stomach was saying otherwise and she usually trusted her gut.

Her eyes darted through the dark forest, looking for signs of life while her imagination ran on overdrive. Were they beating Wells up? Stabbing him with those stupid homemade knives? Was he conscious? Her speed picked up at the thought. She zigzagged through the trees, trying to cover as much ground as possible.

Kat's head whipped to the right as she dimly heard someone yelling, "No! No, please don't do this!" She abruptly changed directions, breaking into a run. After stumbling on a large root, Kat ran harder and within seconds she found the source of the yelling. She took .5 seconds to take in the scene in front of her. Murphy, John and some other kid she didn't recognize was holding Wells down to the ground as they tried to pry off his wristband with a long piece of metal from the drop ship.

Wells was clearly struggling and shouting "No!" over and over again, and still these idiots weren't listening. Heart pounding hard in her chest, Kat skidded down the rocky hill. "Hey!" She shouted angrily, running towards Wells. "Stop! What the fuck are you doing?!"

The boys briefly looked up as she approached but didn't stop. "Get it off!" Murphy shouted frantically.

Kat finally reached them and without stopping to think, took both hands and shoved John off Wells. He sprawled on his side and Kat moved onto the other boy, kicking him in his side with all her might as Murphy managed to take of Wells' wristband. John came up behind her wrapping his arms around her and lifting her bodily off her feet and she kicked and struggled.

"Kat!" Wells shouted, trying to get up and help her. With a vicious snarl, Murphy punched Wells in the temple and Wells collapsed back on the ground unconscious.

"Hold her!" Murphy ordered as the unnamed boy helped John hold onto her, each of them grabbing one of her arms. She struggled to break free but they just tightened their grip. "You," he said shortly as she shook her hair out of her face. Murphy slowly walked towards her, twirling the metal piece in his hand. A pleased expression crossed his face. "I said I'd deal with you later, didn't I? Maybe now you'll learn to mind your own fucking business."

Kat's jaw clenched as her eyes flickered to Wells' prone body. She really hoped he wasn't hurt too bad. "You did say that," She responded, feigning calmness. Her arms were going numb – she seriously didn't like these assholes touching her. "So what's it going to be? A stern lecture? A-"

Murphy's hand whipped out and Kat's head snapped to the side as she was suddenly backhanded across the face. She froze, staring down at the ground with her hair covering her face. Through the shock running through her, Kat dimly realized that blood was trickling through her hair and down the right side of her face. The bastard had hit her with the hand that was holding the metal piece.

Her jaw clenched and her hands curled into fists, but it wasn't because she was in pain. In fact, she barely felt anything. She was battling to rein in that familiar icy rage and hatred, to shove it back inside the box that she usually keeps locked and hidden deep inside her. Her eyes squeezed shut and in her mind's eye, a face burned clear, a face with receding black hair and cold blue eyes. A face that was sneering at her.

_All of this is your fault, Katerina_, the face murmured in a soft whisper. _You are nothing. Insignificant. Worthless. This will help you to remember that - forever._

With a gasp, Kat lost control and that cold hatred and rage spread through her body with every beat of her pounding heart. She welcomed it, encouraged it even.

Time seemed to slow down and she felt herself go on autopilot.

With a cold smile, Kat straightened, tossing back the hair that wasn't stuck in the blood on her face. "Do you feel better now?" She asked, watching his eyes narrow in anger. "Tough? Powerful? More like a man?"

"Shut up!" Murphy snarled, though he looked slightly disconcerted that Kat didn't seem to be afraid. He looked at the two holding her. "I'm in charge, you're the one that is being restrained!"

Just a little bit closer…

"Is that all you've got, Murphy?" She shouted, goading him. "You hit like my grandmother-"

"Shut up you stupid bitch!" He roared, stepping forward to yell in her face.

Kat's grin widened, satisfaction running through her. "I told myself a long time ago that I would never, _ever_ let another man put his hands on me like that again," she shared with him softly. "Let alone a spineless piece of shit like you."

"You-!" Murphy's breath rushed out of him in a pained grunt as Kat quickly kneed him in the groin. He immediately sank to the ground, cradling himself as he wheezed in pain. Without missing a beat Kat used their momentary distraction to yank her right arm free and punched the unnamed boy in the jaw, causing him to let go of her left. She didn't feel her knuckles split – the mixture of adrenaline and rage seemed to numb her from the pain.

_Insignificant,_ the voice whispered, fueling her anger.

The boy reeled back as she advanced, kicking him in the stomach. All of the sudden she was tackled from behind by John and she hit the ground hard. She scrambled to free herself, hands desperately trying to find purchase among the rocks. She winced as John punched her in the side, and with an angry grimace Kat grabbed a fist sized rock and turning around, brought it down on his head.

She shoved the unconscious boy off her and staggered upright. _Worthless._

The unnamed boy came up to her again and this time punched her in the stomach. Wrapping an arm around her stomach, she stumbled back, trying to give herself a moment to catch her breath.

_If you ever need to incapacitate someone,_ _go for the kidney,_ the voice whispered menacingly. _Hurts like a bitch, usually for a couple days._

Taking a breath, Kat straightened, knees bent and fists raised. The boy swung for her head but she was ready this time. She ducked, all her practice paying off as she pivoted sideways and landed two hard punches to his side. With a choked groan, the boy fell to the ground, a surprised/pained expression on his face.

Kat spun around just in time to see Murphy lurching to his feet. He had tossed the metal piece to the side and instead was holding his homemade knife. He looked between his two buddies lying on the ground and bared his teeth at her. "Bring it on then, bitch," he spat.

Murphy slashed at her with the knife forcing her to quickly jump back. He pressed the advantage until there was nowhere for her to go. He stabbed downward again and this time Kat threw up her left arm knocking his wrist to the side as she brought her right arm back and punched him in the face.

He staggered back and Kat stepped forward to hit him again but he had already righted himself and caught her fist in his hand. With a gleam of triumph in his eyes, he pulled her forward and spun her around so that her back was pressed up against him, his knife to her throat. Kat stopped struggling as she felt the cold metal against her neck.

"I've got to hand it to you Hale," Murphy said, panting in her ear. "I definitely wasn't expecting any of this from you. Three against one and you still almost managed to beat us."

Murphy pressed the knife into her neck and once again Kat felt the warm trickle of blood running down her body. Her hands automatically came up to hold onto his arm in order to prevent him from slitting her throat. "As my father always said, 'It's not over until I win'," Kat quoted, gritting her teeth.

"Murphy!" They heard someone shouting through the darkness of the forest. "What the hell is taking so long?"

Seeing her chance, Kat used this distraction and slammed her elbow back into Murphy's gut, twisting his wrist until he dropped the knife with a yelp. She gave him a two handed shove, making him stumble back a few steps.

"I learned how to use a knife when I was 8 years old," she informed him in a loud voice, her silver-gray eyes cold and unyielding. She shoved him after every sentence. "I learned how to fight…how to defend myself…how to kill! Did you really think you could _beat me?"_ Murphy tripped and fell, scrambling away from her awkwardly.

_It's your fault your mother's dead,_ the voice whispered in her ear, as she stalked forward. Her face contorting into a grimace, she viciously kicked Murphy in the side.

"If you _ever_ touch me again," Kat shouted, giving him another kick. "I'll kill you! Kill you!"

Kat gave a shriek of outrage as a strong pair of arms wrapped around her waist and lifted her away from Murphy's body. "Let go of me! Let go, I'm not finished with him! He needs to be taught a lesson!"

Kat kicked and struggled against the person holding her, but they were too strong. "Damn it!" A male voice swore in her ear. "Would you-? … Calm down!" Some part of her brain that wasn't completely irrational realized that the rough voice belonged to Bellamy Blake.

"No! I won't calm down!" She yelled, still trying to get free. "He needs to be punished!"

"And he has been!" Bellamy roared back. "You've made your point, they're done!" He shook her slightly, grabbing her chin and forcing her head to look straight. "Stop fighting for one second and look at them! They're finished. You've won, Kitten," he said in a softer voice.

For some reason, his voice broke through the rage filled fog that had taken over her brain. Bellamy cautiously set her down when he realized that she wasn't fighting him anymore. With a slight shake of her head, Kat blinked a couple of times before she noticed the four bodies lying on the floor. Wells and the John were lying very still with their eyes closed. Murphy and the unnamed boy were groaning, but at least they were moving.

Kat's eyes flickered between the four of them, her breathing becoming shallow and slightly blurry as her world titled. _That's my girl,_ the voice praised her smugly. _Like father like daughter, eh sweetheart?_

The hatred left her body so fast she felt weak and disoriented. She broke out into a cold sweat, shaking slightly as her stomach twisted unpleasantly. _I did this,_ she thought in horror. _I hurt these people. Oh god… I'm just like him!_

Feeling like she was going to either faint, vomit or do a combination of both, Kat stumbled away from the scene.

"Hey," Bellamy called after her, frowning. "Where are you going?"

"Just – just leave me alone!" Kat called back in a choked voice. She broke out into a run.

_That's my girl,_ the voice echoed through the trees. Eyes wide and heart pounding through her chest, Kat imagined she saw his blue eyes staring at her from the darkness; she let out a small whimper and abruptly changed directions. She heard footsteps coming up from behind her and picked up her speed. "I'm not like you!" She shouted to him. "I didn't want to hurt them, but they – they hurt me first! I didn't want to…. I swear!"

She let out a scream as he tackled her from behind and she automatically flailed, hitting him with her fists. "Ow, fucking hell-" he growled. "Would you stop hitting me, Kitten?"

Kitten? Kat opened her eyes to see Bellamy staring down at her, an angry, exasperated look on his face. He had straddled her hips and grabbed her arms, pinning her to the floor. Her eyes clenched shut again, feeling lightheaded. "Blake –" She choked out. "Get off my chest – I can't breathe!" Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, her whole body pounding in time with her heartbeat. "Oh god," she gasped, frantically shaking her head. "I – I can't-"

Bellamy frowned down at her. "What? I'm not on your chest-" Realization dawned in his eyes. "You're having a panic attack, Kat! You need to relax, okay, take deep breaths!"

She shook her head frantically. "I'm not like him. I didn't want to hurt them!"

"I know you're not," Bellamy assured her in a calming voice, though he had no idea what she was talking about. "Think of something else, Katerina, you need to snap out of this!"

With her eyes shut, she didn't see Bellamy frantically looking around as if hoping someone would step out between the trees and help them. She didn't see him looking down at her with a worried expression on his face as her own grew alarmingly pale. And she sure as hell didn't see him mutter, "Fuck it," and with a determined expression on his face, crash his lips to hers.

Kat's eyes flew open again and for three whole seconds she lay there in shock before it sunk in. With a noise of shock and outrage she wrenched her head to the side, breaking their connection. "What the hell are you doing?" She glared up at him, her eyes almost crossing because of how close his face was.

Bellamy's brown eyes blinked down at her before he sat back on her hips. A wide grin crossed his face as he looked down at her. "Ending your panic attack."

Kat belatedly realized that although her heart was still pounding, her breathing came easier. "I was not having a panic attack," she denied immediately.

"Yes you were. My sister used to get them when she was younger, I know all the signs."

"Yeah? So did you end up molesting her too?"

"Ugh, no," he said with a disgusted look on his face. "Don't be gross. In order to stop a panic attack, you have to think of something else. When I _kissed_ you, you forgot about your panic," he shrugged.

The queasy feeling returned to her stomach as he reminded her of what had happened. "Can you get off me now?" She asked, looking anywhere but at him.

"What, I don't get a thank you for helping you out?" The cocky grin returned. "Girls don't usually react this way when I kiss them."

"I don't usually thank people who assault me with their face. If I ever want you to kiss me, I'll be sure to let you know," she snapped sarcastically. "Now let me up Blake. I just – I want to be alone."

Bellamy stared down at her for another second before getting up and allowing her to stand up again. She started to walk away but stopped, looking back at him with a hesitant expression on her face. "Can… Can you make sure they're okay?" She waited until he nodded before walking away again. Once she was out of his line of sight she broke into a run.

She fled from what had just happened. Fled from her past. But most importantly, she fled from herself.

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**Author's Note: **So there it is! Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? As always, review please :)****


	3. Breaking Point

Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize from The 100, only my OC's.

**Author's Note****: Sorry for any confusion earlier, I tried to upload this chapter for some reason but something went very wrong. Thanks to greaserslady for bringing it to my attention! Anyway, thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed my story, it means the world :) I hope you like this chapter as well, and don't forget to review!**

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Chapter 3: Breaking Point

Kat didn't know where she was running to, but between her run through the forest this morning and this one, she was pretty sure she wasn't going to be able to walk tomorrow. Her muscles felt tight and sore; her breath was coming out in heavy pants and the sweat running down her face mixed with the dried blood from her cut. Her stomach gave an alarming lurch and she vomited up whatever was left, hands on her knees. After a few more dry heaves, she wiped her mouth on her sleeve and continued on.

She ran until she came to a small stream running through the woods and staggered to a stop. Dropping down to her knees she cupped her hands together to take a drink, not caring that the water might be contaminated. Her only goal was to rinse the disgusting taste out of her mouth.

Eventually, her breathing calmed and she looked down at her reflection. Her eyes widened in shock and horror. Rivulets of blood had streamed down her face from the cut in her hairline, some of it drying in her hair. She shifted closer to the stream to see how deep the cut was and winced in pain. Now that the adrenaline had faded, she hurt – _everywhere._

Besides the sharp pain in her head from the metal piece of the ship that Murphy had hit her with, her head was also throbbing and fuzzy from his backhand. With a grimace, she realized that whenever she moved, her stomach hurt terribly, though she didn't think she had any broken ribs. Her knuckles were split and slightly bruised, and her palms were skinned from falling in the rocks.

Not to mention the thin cut running across her neck that, thankfully, wasn't too deep, though it did bleed a lot. In fact, it was still bleeding.

With another wince Kat forced herself to stretch and move. Even though she was in pain, this was nothing really. She's been through so much worse than this.

Lost in her thoughts, Kat gently and carefully scrubbed the blood from her skin and hair. The cut on her neck was shallow and would probably be alright if she just covered it with a bandage. She looked around and ended up ripping about three inches from the bottom of her shirt. A little bit of her stomach showed, but she didn't think it would get too cold.

She tied the bandage around her neck carefully and twisted it around so the tie wasn't showing. The cut on her head however, was deeper. If she were on the Ark, she would probably have to get stitches. Oh well. As long as it had stopped bleeding she didn't care if it scarred.

She carefully cleaned it and then dunked her entire head in the water to rinse the blood out of her hair. After brushing through it with her fingers and tying it into a ponytail to keep it out of her cut, she sighed and with another wince, slowly stood and looked around. She had no idea where she was but she also had no desire to go back to camp. She felt….dirty. Contaminated. On the edge of a nervous breakdown.

With a noise of annoyance, Kat looked down and realized that most of the front of her shirt was covered in blood from the wound in her neck. She debated for half a second, then shrugged and stripped out of her jacket, tossing it on the ground before pulling her shirt over her head.

After slipping the jacket back on and zipping it up, Kat dunked the shirt in the stream and scrubbed viciously. _Stupid flashbacks, stupid blood, stupid Bellamy Blake! This is what I get for trying to do the right thing. Maybe I should just sit on the sidelines and not get involved – it worked for most of my life._

She let her mind drift back to what happened earlier. How had everything gotten so fucked so quickly? Just this morning she was happily frolicking through the newly discovered forest and now she was running from both herself and her worst fears. She had worked so hard to keep the darkest parts of herself locked up and hidden, worked so hard to be different from him. Obviously, she still had some severe issues that she needed to work on.

Kat slowly straightened up, wincing at the twinge in her sore muscles. She desperately wanted to lie down, but looking around she didn't see any of that soft moss that was back near where they landed. Everything around here was muddy and gross.

Strolling over to a nearby tree, she grabbed onto the lowest branch and tested its weight. It seemed like it would hold her, so she pulled herself up and slowly and carefully climbed to the top of the tree where she hung her shirt out to dry.

She scooted so her back was against the trunk and let her head flop back as she stared up at the full moon, marveling at how it lit up the forest in that whitish light. It made her problems seem so… insignificant.

So she got into a fight on her first night here. So what? It wasn't her fault after all. Murphy and his goons were the one holding down Wells and forcing his wristband off against his will. Though she didn't believe for one second that Murphy came up with the idea on his own.

Her mind drifted back to the _method_ Blake had used to stop her panic attack. Besides feeling vaguely annoyed about the way he did it, she didn't feel anything else. It wasn't like it was a real kiss. It was jolting, abrupt and not meant for pleasure at all. Kat was even pretty sure that their teeth had clashed.

A frown worked its way over her face. He had shown up at the fight at the perfect time. Could it be a coincidence? Or had Blake come up with the idea to take off Wells' wristband, as a sort of payback for what happened earlier at the campfire?

She just tried to help Wells. And then when they started to come after her, she was just defending herself. With a jolt, she realized that she had her switchblade in her boot the whole time and it didn't cross her mind once! That has to be good, right? If she had really wanted to hurt them, she would have remembered that, wouldn't she?

That's the difference… she realized. Between herself and _him_. She only hurt people in order to defend herself. She was a survivor, after all. The important thing – she didn't go out of her way to hurt people for no reason.

Feeling a teensy bit better, Kat shifted her thinking to the future. Would they try to come after her again, or would they leave her alone knowing that she could take care of herself? In the end, she decided that she had better be prepared for anything.

With a grim smile, Kat briefly contemplated what would happen if she simply embraced her dark side. She really didn't expect her problems and issues to go away over night, if ever. Maybe it would be better if everyone thought she was slightly unhinged. It was entirely possible that there were other murderers and rapists back at camp, after all.

_The quiet psycho,_ she mused, thinking back to what Wells had said earlier. She shrugged. Maybe it would stop people from wanting to talk to her.

The moon had started to set and she watched with fascination and a sense of awe as the sun rose. She saw the light from the sun, a gorgeous yellow-orange, before she actually saw the sun. She didn't know how long she sat there, marveling at the sight. It rose steadily in the clear blue sky until it was shining on her face, until she could see the golden glow through her closed eyelids. Words couldn't begin to describe the beauty as she watched her first sunrise on the ground.

Her vision was going blurry and her throat felt tight. Mortified, Kat cleared her throat loudly. She blamed it on the fact that she just had a nightmare of a night. There was no way she was about to cry over a sunrise. _Suck it up Hale,_ she thought with a clenched jaw.

She caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye and look down in surprise to see Wells walking slowly through the forest. She watched in puzzled amusement as he paused, peering into the darkness.

"Kat," he hissed, clearly trying not to make too much noise.

"Wells," she hissed back. She chuckled as he jerked around in shock. He did a full 360, not once, but three times as he tried to find out where her voice was coming from. He never even looked up.

"Up here," Kat called, speaking in a normal voice.

Finally, Wells searched the treetops until he found her sitting up there. "Hey, I've been looking for you everywhere. What are you doing up there?"

Kat shrugged, slumping back against the trunk. "Trying to gain some perspective." She frowned as soon as the words were out of her mouth. She hadn't meant to tell him anything close to the truth.

"Can I join you?"

"Sure. Come on up."

A few moments later, Wells had climbed up the branches of the tree and settled onto a branch close to her. They were both silent for a while, watching the rising sun.

"How's your head?" She asked without looking over at him. "Murphy got you pretty good."

Wells made a disgruntled noise. "It's fine. I can't believe that skinny rat managed to knock me out. I'm extremely embarrassed. "

A grin split across her face. "You think he looks like a rat? I thought he looked more like a frog."

Wells looked thoughtful. "A frog? Yeah I could see that. It's something about-"

"-the eyes," they both said at the same time, looking at each other and laughing.

Both of them sobered quickly. Kat could sense Wells' gaze on her and she looked over at him. She could almost feel the worry emanating off of him. Rolling her eyes, she said, "Go ahead. Get it over with."

"Are you okay?" He asked in that quiet, concerned way of his. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could he cut her off. "Wait, before you say anything I just want to tell you, that even though it was extremely stupid of you to try and take on three guys who are bigger then you," he held up a hand as her face turned furious, "it was also very brave of you to try and help me. So thank you."

She gave him a cheeky grin. "Try?" She repeated. "I took on three guys bigger then me and I _kicked ass._"

"Yeah and you've got some battle wounds to prove it." His eyes traced over the cut on her head and the bandage around her neck. "Those look pretty nasty. You should have Clarke look at them, make sure they don't get infected or anything-"

"No. Absolutely not," Kat said resolutely.

"Kat, you know Clarke's mother was a doctor up on the Ark-"

"Yeah, I know, she was my doctor for a couple of years-"

"Then you should know that she was helping her mother out before…. Before she got locked up. She learned a lot and she can help you-"

"I don't want her anywhere near me-"

"Don't be stupid Kat!" He interjected loudly. "I don't know what is going on between the two of you but is it really worth it to risk getting an infection because of some stupid fight?"

"I could say the same thing about whatever's going on between you and Clarke-"

"That's not a stupid fight-"

"And neither is this one," Kat said firmly, grey eyes flashing. "I get where you're coming from. I do. But I need you to stay out of my business. I've been taking care of myself since I was six years old and I certainly don't need any help now."

Wells was silent for a moment searching her steady gaze. She didn't know what he saw there – stubbornness, determination, maybe even stupidity – but whatever he saw made him nod reluctantly.

"It sounds lonely," he remarked lightly, looking back over at the sunrise.

Kat's chest felt tight. "It's all I know."

"It doesn't have to be."

Kat didn't know what to say to that. She tried to picture what it would have been like to have a normal family back up on the Ark, to have friends that she could have laughed and played with. To meet someone, fall in love, have a child of her own.

What would it have been like to grow up surrounded by people who loved and trusted you rather then growing up in fear and hatred? She would have become a different person for sure. Would she have liked that person?

Kat bit back a sigh. The idea was too foreign. It was useless to think of what could have been. She had way too many problems to deal with here and now.

"I think I'm going to head back," Wells said, breaking the silence again.

Her stomach flipped at the thought. She wasn't ready to go back yet – she felt like she was in her own drop ship, lost somewhere out in space with no control, just spinning in endless circles. She wasn't ready to face Blake and his goon squad yet.

"Those two boys…the ones who died during the landing," Wells continued, his eyebrows creasing in the middle. "I was thinking – I think I'm going to bury them."

Kat's nose wrinkled in confusion. "Why?"

He looked over at her in surprise. "We can't just leave them there like that," he explained in a tone that told her this should have been obvious. "It's – it's inhumane."

"But you don't even know them," she replied.

When her expression didn't change, he tried again. "They were once people, Kat. They had lives.. family, friends. Then they were shipped to the ground against their will and they died. It's only right that someone put them to rest. Plus, they're going to start decomposing soon, and that could attract all sorts of scavengers. Not to mention that they'll start to smell."

Kat tried to understand. She heard the passion and the belief behind his voice as he spoke. But she couldn't do it. She couldn't see why he cared about this so much.

Was there something wrong with her, apart from the obvious? Was there some basic human trait that she was missing, something that kept her from caring about strangers? Did that make her some kind of monster?

"Do you want any help?" She asked, with a little bit of reluctance and a hell of a lot of awkwardness.

His mouth twitched. "That's okay. I can handle this on my own."

Guilt was beginning to creep up on her. "You shouldn't have to-"

"Kat. It's fine. Really." He carefully stood up on the branch, holding onto the trunk for support. After a moment's hesitation he said, "Don't stay up here too long. Clarke and the others should be back soon with the food."

"I won't," she promised. "I don't want any of those psycho criminals stealing my share."

He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself, shaking his head with a small smile. "Never mind. I'll see you soon."

Kat watched him make his way down the tree and head back to the others. When he was out of sight, she closed her eyes with a sigh.

Somehow, Kat had managed to doze for a while without having any of her usual nightmares. The first thing she felt was shock at the fact that she had actually managed to sleep. The second was disbelief at the fact that she had somehow managed to not fall off the branch. She groaned as she shifted on the uncomfortable branch, wondering what in the hell had woken her up.

The back of her neck prickled and she froze instantly. The only part of her that moved was her grey eyes as they darted back and forth, both on the ground and in the surrounding treetops.

Someone was watching her. Someone who didn't want to be seen.

Kat waited a full two minutes before she allowed herself to move. With an uneasy feeling, Kat grabbed her still slightly damp shirt from the branch next to her and quickly moved down the tree, wincing slightly at her tight muscles. She headed back the way that Wells had gone, tense and alert. She didn't slow down until the uneasy feeling in her stomach eased slightly.

Kat heard the sounds of the delinquents before she saw them. She paused for a moment to strip off her jacket and grimaced when she caught sight of her stomach. It was already turning a nasty shade of yellow-green and was tender to the touch. Swearing under her breath, Kat slipped her shirt back on before heading off again.

It took her longer then she expected to see anybody. Damn they were loud. When she did however, she was grimly shocked at what she saw.

_Chaos,_ Kat thought bitterly, looking around. _Whatever the hell we want? What a fucking joke. Someone's going to end up getting killed._

Many people seemed to be enjoying their newfound freedom. Everywhere she looked people had coupled off together and were making out in the grass. She hastily avoided her eyes, feeling like she was intruding.

As she continued walking, she also passed some kids chasing and pushing each other as they jeered and laughed, fighting over spare clothes. Other kids were sitting around and some were even playing makeshift drums.

It didn't take her long to spot Wells walking through camp with a bundle in his arms. She strode over to him.

"Hey, did the others make it back yet?" She asked, though she was quickly distracted as she looked down at the bundle of clothes and the extra pair of shoes he was holding. "Where did you get those?"

"Yeah man, where'd you get those clothes?" They looked around to see a boy with dark hair striding towards them from the drop ship.

Wells looked between the two of them before looking at Kat and answering. "I took them from the two kids I buried. Figured they didn't need them anymore," he said with a shrug.

"Smart," the boy acknowledged.

Kat narrowed her eyes at him. "Is there any reason you're still standing here?" She asked, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, actually. I'll take these off your hands." The boy moved forward, reaching for the clothes. Kat tensed, ready to step in if this turned ugly. "There's always a murder-"

"We share based on need," Wells said sharply, holding the clothes tighter to his body. "Just like back home."

"You don't get it do you, Chancellor." Kat had to struggle not to roll her eyes as she recognized the voice. Just perfect. Any hope of diffusing this situation disappeared the moment he opened his mouth.

Kat turned to see him coming out from the drop ship and did a double take. She briefly took in the girl sauntering out behind him before turning back to a _very_ _shirtless_ Blake.

Holy damn. Did it just get hotter out here?

His hair was no longer slicked back; it flopped over his forehead, giving him a more wild, dangerous appearance. Her eyes trailed slowly from his satisfied smirk, to his broad shoulders and his bulging biceps.

Her gaze hungrily continued to his perfectly chiseled chest and six-pack abs, before moving lower to where two 'fuck-me' lines disappeared into his pants, lines that she wanted to trace with her tongue–

Blake shifted slightly and Kat broke off her train of thought looking away with wide, horrified eyes. Her whole body was flushed, particularly in her lower stomach, her palms were tingling and her heart – her eyes widened even further at the realization – was pounding in time with the pulsing she had _down there._

Kat had to lock her knees to help fight the overwhelming urge to jump him, possibly tackle him to the ground and hold him there in a similar position that he had her in last night, except this time she'd be on top controlling the situation so she could kiss him properly –

She bit the inside of her cheek so hard she tasted blood. _What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm being betrayed by my own body! Get it together, Hale! This is the same asshole that's trying to take control of the group for unknown reasons! He's not fit to be a leader and the fight last night was __**his**__ fault!_

Blinking rapidly and hoping that her few seconds of a brain lapse wasn't too noticeable, Kat made a conscious effort to rejoin the conversation. She looked up and made the very serious mistake of locking eyes with Blake. Was she imaging the interested glint in his intense brown eyes? Or the knowing yet slightly taunting smirk playing around the edges of his lips? Kat's face grew even warmer, but she refused to admit defeat and look away.

He was the one who broke their stare down. Wells leaned over to her as Blake made a show of kissing the unknown girl (_was it really necessary to show your entire stomach?)_ who then flounced off happily.

He whispered with a humorless smile, "Careful there Kat. You've got a bit of drool on your chin."

"Shut up," she snapped. She waited for him to move away before quickly wiping her chin just in case he was telling the truth. Which he wasn't. _Dick._

"This is home now," Blake said once his little hoe had left. He strode forward and Kat forced her gaze to remain on his face. _Damn it Hale, control yourself!_ Blake swiped a shirt from Wells' grip and the other boy put out a hand to hold Wells back as he started forward. "No, no, no, Atom, hold up. You want it back? Take it."

The tension grew as Wells and Blake stared each other down. For one heart stopping moment she thought Wells was going to take him up on his offer. Instead, he threw the clothes behind him, where kids immediately rushed to claim their share.

"Is this what you want?" Wells asked, as Blake started to put on his new shirt. Kat bit her lip at the rush of bitter disappointment and relief she felt. At least now she might be able to concentrate. "Chaos?"

"What's wrong with a little chaos?"

"Seriously?" Kat choked out a sarcastic laugh. His gaze swung to look at her, briefly taking in the cut on the top of her head and her neck. "You're telling a bunch of teenage criminals who have just recently been locked up that they can do whatever they want! Chaos isn't what these kids need, they need some form of structure – "

"Like they had back up on the Ark?" He interrupted angrily. "Those rules and expectations are what got them into trouble in the first place-"

"Of course not! But we can't just let them run wild either, somebody is going to end up getting hurt-"

As if to emphasize her point, everyone froze as a girl suddenly let out a piercing scream. Kat hurried to follow Wells down the hill where none other than Murphy was holding a girl over a small fire.

"Are you kidding me?" Kat spat, striding forward. She felt an immense satisfaction at the black eye he was currently sporting. She hoped it hurt like a bitch. "Did you not learn anything last night, shit-for-brains? Put the girl down, or I'll give you another black eye!"

Murphy looked furious that she told everyone that she had given him the black eye, but all he did was send her a glare before turning back to Blake. "Bellamy! Check it out, we want the Ark to think that the ground is killing us right? Figured it would look better if we suffered a little bit first-"

He was cut off as Wells suddenly leaped forward, pulling Murphy off the girl and sending him sprawling in the dirt. Wells turned to Blake as the girl scampered away. "You can stop this!"

"Stop this?" Blake repeated, glancing around with an annoyingly superior air. "I'm just getting started."

"Look out!" Kat tried to warn Wells as Murphy sprang off the ground, punching him hard in the jaw and sending him staggering backward.

She sprang forward to help as Murphy followed up with an uppercut to Wells' stomach and another blow to his shoulder, but was held back by a strong arm around the waist. She ignored the flare of pain from her stomach bruise and whipped around furiously to see that it was Blake holding her from a fight, yet again. "What are you doing, get the fuck off of me!" She cried, bringing her elbow back hard into his stomach.

His breath whooshed out of him and she started forward again as his grip loosened. Infuriatingly, she had almost escaped when he snatched her wrist and yanked her back. She winced as he brought her right arm back in a painful position, holding her close to him so she couldn't elbow him again. "Damn it Blake, stop this!" She yelled angrily as she watched Murphy tackle Wells to the ground. The two began rolling around in the dirt, throwing punches at whatever body parts they could find.

"Why should I?" He murmured in her ear, disturbingly close. "Look at them, Kitten." Her gaze reluctantly took in the cheering and chanting crowd, where only a few people looked uncertain. She looked away as Blake started speaking again. "They love this. There's something exhilarating about it, isn't there?"

"No," she said through clenched teeth. "I don't like to watch people getting hurt."

"Now, we both know that's not true, don't we?" He purred, so close that his lips grazed the outside of her ear. She fought a shiver while fury and shame ran through her as she was once again reminded of last night. She wanted to argue, to prove to him that she wasn't like that but she couldn't find the words.

Because deep down, in the darkest parts of herself, she had liked teaching those boys a lesson.

They were both interrupted as Wells delivered a series of punches to Murphy's face before staggering upright again, his eyes burning in anger and his breath coming out in pants. He took a couple of steps towards her and Blake, and she almost smirked when she felt Blake tense up behind her. Good. She was glad to know he was slightly afraid of something.

"Don't you see you can't control this?" Wells panted, making yet another attempt to get through Blake's idiotic, stubborn head.

"You're dead," Murphy growled, grabbing his knife and lurching to his feet.

"Wait," Blake interrupted, handing Kat over to Atom and moving to intervene. For a half a second Kat actually believed that he was going to put a stop to the fight. Then she was reminded of what a jackass he is as he held up another knife and said, "Fair fight."

Blake dropped the knife on the floor and walked back over to her, ignoring the furious glare she sent him. Wells looked from Murphy, to the knife, to Blake and finally she settled on her. She hoped he saw the hopeless yet supportive nod that she gave him. With a resigned, determined look, he nodded back and bent to pick up the knife.

They circled each other, Murphy feinting a few times before Wells lunged. She winced as Murphy easily sidestepped and cut him on the arm. Kat wanted nothing more then to step in and help Wells, she was pretty sure she could break away from Atom's grip, but she saw the determination on Wells' face and she didn't want to distract him by getting in the way.

"This is for my father!" Murphy shouted, slashing at Wells who blocked the blow with his forearm and performed a complicated maneuver that spun Murphy around so that Wells could easily press a knife to his throat. Kat's eyebrows rose in admiration. He was going to have to teach her that move.

"Wells!" A voice snapped, and Kat looked over to see Clarke and the others striding out of the forest, grim expressions on their faces. Kat shrugged out of Atom's grip, and he didn't protest. "Let him go," Clarke cried in a disgusted and extremely judgmental tone that sent a rush or irritation through Kat. Did she think that Wells wanted to fight Murphy? She just came in at the end of the fight, she didn't see Wells trying to protect the girl that Murphy was trying to hurt. Who does she think she is?

Wells shoved Murphy away and this time Blake really did step in when Murphy flew at him again. "Hey, enough! Murphy!"

Almost immediately Blake let him go when he saw Octavia limping down the hill. "Octavia!" He called, rushing to her side and helping her down. "Are you alright? Where's the food?" He asked, looking around at the others.

Kat looked around, just realizing they were all empty handed. She frowned. Something wasn't right.

"We didn't make it to Mount Weather," Finn said in a tired voice.

"What the hell happened out there?"

"We were attacked," Clarke said, looking extremely distressed.

"Attacked?" Well repeated. "By what?"

"Not what," Finn spoke up again. "Who. Turns out when the last man from the ground died on the Ark… he wasn't the last man."

Kat's breath caught as the full implication of what they were saying sunk in. There were survivors. Somehow, people had managed to survive the nuclear war and all the radiation that followed. That meant… the Earth was definitely survivable. They weren't going to die!

Not by radiation at least.

"It's true," Clarke said, looking around. "Everything we thought we knew about the ground is wrong. There are people here. Survivors. The good news is, that means we can survive." _Stop stealing my thoughts Blondie._ "Radiation won't kill us."

"Bad news is, the grounders will," Finn finished, looking uncharacteristically serious.

Kat's frown deepened, looking at their expressions. She looked between them, and then it clicked. "Hold on," She said loudly, striding forward. "Weren't there five of you when you guys left?"

"Yeah, where's the kid with the goggles?" Wells asked.

"Jasper was hit," Clarke answered, looking up at him briefly. "They took him," her voice wavered and she broke eye contact looking down again, but she was momentarily distracted. "Where's your wristband?" Clarke asked, her snappy, bossy tone coming back in full force. "As a matter of fact, what the hell happened when we were gone?" Her eyes flickered between Murphy's black and eye and Kat's cut.

"Ask him," Wells nodded at Blake angrily. Blake shifted at the sudden attention, and Kat saw him glance at Octavia uneasily.

"How many wristbands?" Clarke snapped.

"24 and counting," Murphy said smugly.

"You idiots," Clarke whispered. For once, Kat agreed with her. "Life support on the Ark is failing. That's why they brought us down here! They need to know the ground is survivable again, and we need their help against whoever is out there. If you take off your wristbands, you're not just killing them. You're killing us."

Kat felt a grudging admiration for the passion and the strength behind her words as she spoke to the whole group. She had to know she was fighting a losing battle though. Blake had already won most of them over.

Speaking of, for a second he looked indecisive, but Kat knew that he wouldn't let Clarke have the last word. That would undermine the efforts that he had already made to earn their respect. "We're stronger then you think. Don't listen to her, she's one of the privileged! If they come down, she'll have it good! How many of you can say the same?" He asked, walking over and looking up at the crowd that had gathered around. "We can take care of ourselves! That wristband on your arm… it makes you a prisoner. We are _not _prisoners, anymore. They say they'll forgive your crimes! I say, you're _not criminals_! You're fighters! Survivors!" Kat shifted uneasily at this proclamation. She had called herself that multiple times and didn't like being lumped in with the rest of them. "The grounders should worry about us!"

Kat watched the disgust and disappoint flicker over Clarke's face when the crowd answered Blake's speech with more cheers and shouts of triumph.

Clarke shook her head slightly before turning to Kat, who narrowed her eyes. "Come with me," she said shortly. "You haven't cleaned that cut properly."

"It's fine," Kat snapped, not wanting to go anywhere with her.

Clarke rolled her eyes and threw up her hands. "Whatever. It's your life."

'…_is it really worth it to risk getting an infection just because of some stupid fight?'_ Wells words from earlier came prancing through her mind and she crossed her arms in frustration.

Kat watched her walk away, debated not following to her out of spite. She didn't think this was all over some stupid fight, but she also didn't want to die of an infection because of her stubborn pride. Besides, she didn't really want to witness Leader Blake in action anymore.

She jogged to catch up with Clarke and the Asian guy as they strode away. "What do we do now?" he asked Clarke.

"Now we go after Jasper," she said in a determined voice. Kat felt like saying 'Dun, dun, dunnn!' in her head in response to the overly dramatic statement, but chose to keep her mouth shut as she followed them back towards the drop ship. "Sit," Clarke commanded, pointing to a log. She didn't look surprised to see that she had followed, and Kat hated her a little bit for it. "Monty, go get some supplies together. Clean rags, bandages, anything we can use as a weapon."

Kat sat on the log, arms still crossed and her body almost vibrating with tension. She watched Clarke take out a clean rag and dunk it in the water. Taking a deep breath, Kat forced herself to relax her body one muscle at a time.

When Clarke turned back to face her, Kat had allowed her mask of indifference to settle over her. She was silent for a few moments as she began to clean the cut. "Tilt your head to the side," she instructed, flushing the cut with water. "This is pretty deep. If we had any supplies, you'd probably need stitches."

"It's fine. I've had worse."

Clarke's lips pressed together in a thin line, but she didn't respond. Instead she swiftly untied the bandage around Kat's neck and cleaned that cut as well.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Clarke asked in a steady voice.

"Our new leader made a power move and ordered Murphy and the rest of the goon squad to jump Wells and forcible remove his wristband. I was just trying to help him out and they didn't seem to appreciate it."

"Trying to help?" Clarke pulled back to frown down at her.

"Yes," Kat answered with a roll of her eyes. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"It is, actually," Clarke said in a matter of fact voice. "I've never known you to care for or help anyone other than yourself."

Kat lifted an eyebrow. "And you think you know me?"

"As well as anyone can know someone who puts up 50 foot high indestructible walls."

Irritation made her eyes harden. "Well I'm sorry I can't be more like you, Blondie. Sitting high on my mighty horse with my moral compass _constantly_ pointing north."

Clarke's eyebrows came together the way they usually did when she was agitated. "I'm not going to apologize for doing what I think is right-"

"Yes, well, sometimes what you think is right isn't what's right for everyone else."

"Is that what this is about?" Clarke asked, eyes wide with disbelief. "Are you mad at me?"

Kat abruptly stood up, forcing Clarke to take a step back. She met her disbelief with incredulous anger. "Am I mad – I've moved past mad to fucking furious, Clarke Griffin. You have no idea what the consequences of your actions were."

"I helped you-"

"You _betrayed_ me," Kat broke in, her voice tight with rage and frustration.

"Well obviously I missed something, so if you could explain it to me, I would really appreciate it."

"Not here, not now." Kat was only too aware of the growing crowd that their argument was causing. Wells broke through the group, coming over to the pair of them with a concerned look on his face.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

This time it was Clarke whose face showed anger and irritation. "Everything's fine," she snapped, before stalking off towards the drop ship.

"I should go talk to her," he said, following her with his eyes.

"I don't know why you bother."

"Friends don't give up on each other, no matter how hard things get," he said with a shrug. "I've known Clarke since we were born. Something like that just doesn't end." With a small smile, he turned and went after Clarke.

"It does when she's a pretentious son of a bitch," Kat muttered under her breath. She shook her head, feeling a twinge of pity for Wells. He's been half in love with Clarke since they were 12 years old and it was more then apparent to everyone but him that she didn't feel the same way. Poor idiot.

"What are you looking at?" Kat snapped to a group of kids who were still standing there and watching her. They jumped, stammered something and scurried away.

Feeling slightly better, Kat walked away, waiting for the last of the fiery anger to fade from her veins.

Kat couldn't believe that Clarke was _surprised_ she was angry. Then again… maybe she could. Once Clarke had it in her mind that she was doing the right thing, then nothing else mattered. Not anybody else's feelings or the consequences of her actions.

_50-foot high indestructible walls,_ Kat mused. She supposed that was true, though it wasn't a conscious effort at protecting herself. It just sort of happened over time. She knew she was broken, that her heart had been stabbed, crushed and then hardened to stone so she wouldn't be hurt anymore. It was her only choice if she wanted to survive.

Agitated and restless, Kat looked around the camp at the rest of the teenagers milling about, talking in low, worried voices about the grounders and giving her those sidelong glances. She stopped where she was. If she had to stay here and endure this, she was going to go insane.

Kat glanced back at the drop ship. With a shrug, she turned around and headed back. At least it was something to do. Even if she had to deal with Clarke fucking Griffin.

She came in just as Finn was saying, "It's not an adventure, Clarke, it's a suicide mission."

"Did someone say suicide mission?" Kat said as a way of announcing her presence. "Sounds like fun, count me in."

"I don't remember inviting you," Clarke snapped, crossing her arms.

Kat smirked. "I don't remember asking for your permission."

Clarke opened her mouth, probably to protest some more, but Wells cut her off. "Stop Clarke. Like Monty just said, we need all the help we can get. Besides, Kat's a good fighter, if things get messy it won't hurt to have her there." She felt pleased at Wells' praise. In her opinion he couldn't have said anything nicer.

"Fine," Clarke reluctantly agreed. With a glare at Kat and a disappointed look at Finn, she left.

Wells took a step towards Finn. "Build a wall," he advised. "Use the fallen trees. I'll watch out for her."

Kat was mystified at the tension directed at Finn, but she didn't ask and she didn't want to know. She just shrugged and followed Wells out of the ship.

Clarke and Wells were heading towards the forest, and she let out a low groan when she realized they were making one final stop. Fucking Blake. Of course.

"You could have been killed," Blake was saying to his sister as he dressed her leg wound.

"And she would have been, if Jasper hadn't jumped in to pull her out," Clarke said, interrupting their conversation.

"Are you guys leaving?" Octavia said urgently, pulling her pant leg down. "I'm coming too-"

"No, no, no," Blake said firmly, putting out a hand to keep her seated. "No way, not again."

"He's right," Clarke agreed. "Your leg's just going to slow us down." Her attention shifted to Blake. "I'm here for you."

"Clarke what are you doing?" Wells protested.

She ignored him. "I hear you have a gun." Kat's eyes widened as she saw Blake lift the back of his shirt, revealing a small black gun sticking out of his pants. Where in the hell did he get that? "Good. Follow me."

"Why would I do that?" Blake drawled, sounding only mildly curious.

Clarke turned back to him with raised eyebrows. "Because you want _them_ to follow you," she said is a soft, mocking voice. "And right now, they're thinking only one of us is scared."

Kat saw the challenge and anger in Blake's eyes and knew that he would be coming along. With a resigned sigh, Kat followed Clarke and Wells out into the forest, rolling her eyes when she heard Blake order Murphy to come with them.

This was just perfect. She was going to rescue some skinny kid with goggles from the mysterious grounders with an almost friend, a condescending, bossy know-it-all, an arrogant ass who had his own agenda and who she may or may not be attracted to, and a frog-looking psychopath who wanted to kill her. This was going to be _fun_.

* * *

**Author's Note: I have a confession to make. I'm ashamed to admit that I seriously debated not continuing this story. I feel slightly overwhelmed by the amount of Bellarke fics out there (not that it's a bad thing, because I do like that pairing). Then I remembered all you wonderful people who reviewed and told me how much they liked the story, so I'm pushing on ahead! So long as people still like what I'm writing I won't let you down!**

**I sat at my computer for a good hour today trying to find a good ship name for Bellamy and Kat. What I came up with was ridiculous. Bat? Bitten? Seriously, those sound so stupid. The only one I kind of liked even though it sounds a little weird was Bellerina. What do you think? I'm hoping you guys have some ideas that are better then what I've got!**

**Also, if you have any ideas or suggestions about what you might want to see happen in future chapters, feel free to let me know! I like hearing feedback and advice on how to make my story better!**

**Okay I'm done ranting. Review please :)**


	4. Beginning of the End

Disclaimer: I do not own The 100 or anything you recognize.

**Author's Note: 46 favorites and 79 followers?! You guys are the best! Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed my story! Sorry for the long wait. For some reason this chapter was a pain in the ass to write. Hopefully it came out okay. Review and let me know what you think!**

* * *

Chapter 4: Beginning of the End

**Kat's POV**

_One, two, three, four, five, six…_ Kat trudged through the forest, trying to use the trick that she had created when she was younger to clear her mind. _Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven…_

She felt her body and her mind calm as the soft sounds of her footsteps through the grass and dirt lulled her into a sense of tranquility. She was actually surprised at how easy it was to calm herself down. Without a doubt, Kat knew that she needed to re-evaluate her actions and reactions since they had landed on Earth.

She didn't know if it was because she hadn't been around so many people in such a long time or because of the stressful situations she had been finding herself in, but her emotions felt like they had been going haywire since they landed on Earth. Mentally she took three giant steps back, allowing her mask of indifference to come back up and pushing the remnants of her anger and irritation deep down.

Clarke and Wells were walking ahead of her, and Kat could tell by the tension in Wells' shoulders that it wasn't going well. Blake and Murphy were behind her, talking quietly to each other, and Kat knew that it wasn't anything good.

Sure enough, not even ten minutes into their journey…

"Hey!" Blake called out crashing loudly through the underbrush as he caught up to them. Kat rolled her eyes when she saw that he was holding the gun in the air carelessly. "Hold up! What's the rush? You don't survive a spear through the heart."

"Put the gun away, Bellamy." Wells said immediately, turning to face them.

"Why don't you do something about it," Murphy responded, stepping forward and pushing Wells back with a strong arm.

"Why don't you just take a step back, dipshit," Kat drawled in a disinterested voice, though she did step up on Wells' other side. "We know Wells is good-looking and all, but I think everyone would appreciate it if you could keep your hands off him for five seconds."

The corner of Wells' mouth twitched and Kat winked when he looked down at her.

"Shut up, Hale," Murphy snarled, glaring at her with narrowed eyes. "Why are you even here?"

Kat lifted a shoulder. "The company, obviously."

Unsurprisingly, Clarke ignored everything she was saying and dealt with the bigger problem, in this case, Blake. She looked him in the eye, her face set. "Jasper screamed when they moved him. If the spear struck his heart he would have died instantly. That means we don't have time to waste."

Of course, Blake couldn't just let that go. "As soon as you take this wristband off," he explained with a smirk. "We can go."

Kat let out a snort of disbelief. So that was what he was after: Clarke's wristband. But why?

Clarke wrenched her arm out of his grip and took a threatening step towards him. "The only way the Ark is going to think I'm dead… is if I'm dead. Got it?"

Ah, now it made sense. This was another power play to make sure that the Ark never came down to Earth. Why the hell was he trying so hard?

He glanced at Murphy and his smirk grew. "Brave Princess."

"Hey why don't you find your own nickname?" A new voice interjected.

Kat looked over Murphy's shoulder and saw Finn striding towards them, a determined look on his face.

"Oh thank god!" Kat exclaimed in relief. "Someone with a sense of humor! Nice timing, Spacewalker. Between the sexual tension," she sent Murphy a significant glance, complete with raised eyebrows, "and the pissing match between our two wannabe leaders I was about to hand myself over to the grounders out of sheer annoyance."

Finn flicked her an amused grin, before turning back to the group. "You guys call this a rescue party? We gotta split up, cover more ground. Clarke, come with me." With one last hard look, Clarke turned and followed Finn as he led the way back into the forest.

The four of them just stood there for a second, silent. Without a word, Blake put the gun back into his waistband and set off, Murphy the loyal dog hot on his heels.

Kat and Wells looked at each other. He gave her a small smile. "So. You think I'm good-looking?"

She rolled her eyes, playfully punching him in the shoulder. "Typical. That would be what you got out of that entire conversation."

He shrugged, following her after the others. "What can I say, I'm a guy."

"Why do people say that like it's some sort of excuse?" Kat asked, mystified. She shook her head. "I think that just proves your entire gender is pathetic."

"Pathetic?" He repeated, throwing her a mock offended look. "I think you mean that men are strong and extremely capable-" Kat shoved her hands back in her pockets and gave a small smile as she listened to Wells' longwinded explanation.

**Bellamy's POV**

"What are the chances that this kid is even still alive?" Murphy asked bitterly as they stepped over yet another log. They had already been walking for what felt like hours and there was still no indication from the others that they were getting close. "Like you said, he got hit in the heart with a spear. Even if he did scream, that was hours ago and he probably bled out by now."

"Who knows?" Bellamy replied in a bored voice. "But we won't get the high and mighty princess off our backs until we find this kid, dead or alive."

Murphy made a noise of irritation. "And what are we going to do about _her_?" Bellamy glanced over to see Murphy staring hard, lip curled in disgust. He followed his line of sight and saw with some surprise to see that he was glaring over at Kat, who was walking a couple of yards ahead of them with her head down and hands in her pockets.

Bellamy looked at her for a second, frowning, before turning back to Murphy. "What do you mean?"

"She's obviously a murdering psycho-bitch. We should get rid of her before she becomes a problem," Murphy insisted.

Truthfully, Bellamy didn't know what to think of the girl. She was a walking contradiction. He called her Kitten because he enjoyed how much it irritated her, but she really did look like this little fragile thing. She had delicate cheekbones, a small button nose, a thin frame and even porcelain like skin.

Yet he had seen the damage she could do.

Last night when he had walked back to find out what was taking Murphy so long, he had stood frozen in shock for a full minute as he watched Kat beat up three boys who were bigger then her.

He had recognized the cold, slightly unhinged look on Kat's face as she stood over Murphy's body and that was when he knew he had to step in.

"She might come in handy," Bellamy told Murphy in a thoughtful voice. "If there really are grounders out there it can't hurt to have someone on our side who knows a thing or two about fighting. And besides," He said, throwing Murphy a hard glance as he opened his mouth to interject. "You just want to get rid of her as revenge for kicking your ass." He strode away, missing the angry, flushed expression on Murphy's face.

He allowed his mind to drift back to last night. After Kat had become aware of her surroundings again, she had become terrified and fled. Her panicked voice flashed through his head. "_I'm not like him. I didn't want to hurt them!"_

Who was the 'him' that she was talking about? Someone from back up on the Ark, obviously. But who?

What did he really know about this girl anyway? All he really knew was that she murdered the previous Commander before Shumway. That was just over four years ago, he would have been 19 at the time. If Kat was the same age as Octavia then she would have been around 13.

He frowned trying to remember what the previous Commander was like. All he could picture was a tall man with broad shoulders, black hair and…. Bellamy's steps faltered as the pieces clicked. Commander Hale. Could she have been related to him? Could Kat have killed her own father?

"I can feel you staring a hole in the back of my head, you know." Bellamy blinked in surprise as he saw Kat slow down, turning back to look at him. "I've known you one day and I can already identify your thinking face." She waved a finger at him. "It's the slightly concussed look you have on right now. What are you thinking about?"

'_That's Katerina Hale… the girl who murdered the Commander…'_

"Commander Hale was your father," he stated carefully, watching her reaction closely.

Kat froze, her eyes wide with shock and panic as they locked onto his. She blinked slowly, bit her lip and took a deep breath. "Yes," She whispered.

"You murdered your father."

"Yes."

He nodded slowly. "Okay."

When he turned to leave, Kat's hand shot out to grab his wrist. "Wait. You're not going to ask me why?" She asked in disbelief.

Did he want to know why she would murder her own father? Of course he did! When it came to Kat Hale, he felt a burning curiosity to solve the intricate puzzle of her life.

Cocking his head to the side, he crossed his arms over his chest. "Alright. Why did you kill your father?"

She shook her head with a smile. "People _always_ ask me why. That doesn't mean I tell them." Bellamy rolled his eyes. Did he really expect a straight answer from her? "If you want to trade secrets," she continued, pinning him with her stare, "Why don't you tell me the secret of how you – someone who wasn't convicted of a crime and is what, 20, 21-"

"23."

"-23 years old somehow swiped a guard's uniform and snuck onto a drop ship with a bunch of teenage criminals. Without anybody noticing."

_Someone noticed,_ he thought, recalling the feel of the gun in his hand and the pounding of his heart in his ears. _At least for a short amount of time._

They both stared at each other, coming to a mutual, unspoken agreement – neither of them was going to budge.

Not wanting to continue this conversation, Bellamy quickly cast around for a different topic. "What are the odds of this kid surviving a spear in the chest?" he asked, repeating Murphy's earlier conversation.

Her face was carefully blank, but he thought he could detect a flicker of something behind those grey eyes. "You'd be surprised at the human capacity to survive when they're facing certain death," she said softly.

Bellamy's eyebrows slowly rose. "That was very deep, Kitten. Really, I'm impressed."

Kat rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up, Blake."

She fell silent for a moment, but Blake sensed she wanted to say something else. She hesitated, then surprised him by turning around to face him. "Look. I'm only going to say this once and you can either listen to my advice or tell me to fuck off, I really don't care. Just let me get this out, okay?"

He frowned, confused. "Okay…"

Kat took a deep breath, then looked him straight in the eye. "If there was one thing that I learned from my father it was that being a leader, being in charge of a group of people is not easy. You become responsible for not only their actions, but also their lives. If you want to lead this rag tag group of juvenile delinquents, then like it or not this kid Jasper is one of your people. My father may have been messed up son of a bitch, but he was good at his job." The corner of her mouth lifted up. "No man left behind and all that shit, right?"

Bellamy felt irritation run through him. He didn't want to lead these people. All he wanted, all he's ever really wanted from the time he was five years old, was to protect Octavia and keep her safe. If the Ark came down to Earth, he was a dead man. And if he was dead, how was he going to protect her? The only choice, the only option he had was to make sure that the Ark didn't make it down here.

"I think I'll choose to tell you to fuck off," Bellamy told her dryly.

Kat stared at him for a second with wide eyes, then burst out into peals of loud bubbling laughter. Bellamy shifted uncomfortably, crossing his arms across his chest as he watched her double over. "What's your damage? Did you get hit in the head one too many times last night?"

She slowly straightened, wiping her eyes with a half smile still on her face. "Probably," she agreed, nodding. "I must have been if I think anything you say is funny."

"Hey, I'll have you know I have a great sense of humor," he protested, following behind her as she turned to start walking again. Or he used to, anyway.

"Oh yeah?" Kat said over her shoulder. "It must be hidden deep underneath all the arrogance and self-absorption."

"You know," Bellamy said lightly. "For someone who lectured me on judging you before I knew you, you're being a giant hypocrite."

Kat's step faltered and she whipped her head around to look at him in shock. "…You're right," she said slowly. "I – I apologize."

Bellamy found himself frowning yet again, unsure if he heard her correctly. Did she just say sorry? He had been expecting a snappy retort or a semi-witty remark, and although it was choked out and sounded like it physically pained her to say it, she had definitely just apologized.

"I don't want nor need your apology, Kitten," he said, rolling his eyes. "I was only making an observation."

"Well, you have it anyway," she said with a shrug. "And don't call me that," she added before beginning to turn around. She swayed, stumbling over her feet and Bellamy automatically reached out and grabbed her elbow to steady her. He pulled her upright, staring intently into her face.

"You're pale," he noted, with a frown. "Should you even be here right now?"

"I'm always pale." Kat yanked her arm out of his grip. "I'm fine. There's no reason to worry about me."

"I'm not," he retorted, following her as she started walking again. He glared at the back of her head with narrowed eyes. "If you're too weak and you get one of us killed-"

"I am _not_ weak," she snapped, those gray eyes flashing angrily at him. Again.

Stubborn little bitch. His own eyes narrowing, Bellamy tried a different tactic. "Look, there's a fine line between bravery and stupidity-"

"First I'm weak and now I'm stupid? Damn Blake, you really know how to sweet talk a girl."

Despite himself, Bellamy let himself get completely distracted as he let out a derisive snort. "Sweet talk?" He repeated with a smirk. "Please. I usually don't even have to say anything – all it takes is one look and the girls are all over me."

Kat gave him a look, one eyebrow raised. "I really think everyone would appreciate it if you loved yourself a little less."

"I don't know if that's possible. There's just so much to love."

There was a slight hesitation in his response that Kat thankfully didn't catch. After what he did… there was quite a bit of himself that he didn't like at the moment.

Kat had stopped at the edge of the tree line and was just standing there. He stopped beside her. "We reached the river," She said quietly, stating the obvious. "The kid was hit somewhere along here, right?"

"Supposedly." He surveyed the area. There were thick, gray clouds in the sky, blocking out the sunlight and giving the forest a dark, sinister feeling. Large rocks blocked some parts of the river, though not enough to stop the flow of water. Cool, clear, refreshing water.

Bellamy didn't know about Kat, but he felt sticky with sweat and covered in dirt. He strode towards the water, heading for the part that was about waist deep.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Kat asked, scrambling after him. "Your sister was mauled by a man-eating snake and you're just going to hop in the river?"

"I talked to Octavia and the section of the river that they were near was much deeper," he informed her, striding in without hesitation. "Besides the way she described it the thing was huge and wouldn't be able to navigate through here."

He bent his knees, sighing with relief as the water to rushed up past his shoulders. Cupping some water in his hands he splashed some on his face and scrubbed the dirt and grime off. Blinking the water away, he looked up to see Kat still standing there.

She had the same look in her eyes as she did this morning before the fight between Murphy and Wells. It was that intense, burning look that had left a trail of fire over his body in the wake of her gaze. He remembered thinking that he was glad that he had tan skin – he had almost blushed as she thoroughly and completely checked him out.

"What's the matter?" A disbelieving smirk crossed his face, and his eyes widened mockingly. "Oh Kitten. Don't tell me you're afraid of a little water!"

Kat's face hardened at his taunting, but he noticed that she shifted uneasily on her feet. "Scared?" She scoffed. "Who, me? Nope. Not this girl. Definitely not afraid of a little bit of water."

His smirk widened. "Then why are you still standing there?"

Throwing a final glare in his direction, Kat shuffled to the edge of the river, muttering under her breath the whole time. "What is there to be scared of? Man eating snakes? Ha! Drowning? It can't really be that hard to swim." She continued muttering as she slowly walking in, one small step at a time.

Bellamy rolled his eyes. "Would you hurry up? I think I just aged about 50 years."

"Stop being such an ass, Blake," She halfheartedly snapped before finally taking that final step to the waist deep water.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" Kat didn't seem to hear him. There was a giant smile on her face as she bent her knees and leaned back to get her hair wet, being mindful of the cut on her head.

They were silent for a moment, taking in the peace and quiet. For a moment, Bellamy could almost forget that they were on a twenty mile trek looking for a skinny teenager in goggles who got speared by mysterious grounders.

"Do the look."

Bellamy opened his eyes to find Kat looking at him with a speculative look on her face. "The look?" He repeated blankly.

"Yeah. The one you use on girls that supposedly makes them want you. Do it on me."

His confusion turned to amusement. "I don't think that's a good idea. You won't be able to handle the look."

"What?" She asked indignantly. "Why not?"

"Are you forgetting about what happened this morning?" he said, giving her a knowing look. "You were ready to jump me and that was just without a shirt on. I wouldn't want you to spontaneously combust or something."

Kat's mouth flopped open as she struggled to find the words. "…I- I am _not_ attracted to you!" She finally insisted, though she was betrayed by the pink flush in her cheeks.

What was it about this girl that made him enjoy her reactions so much? He idly wondered just how far he would be able to push her.

"No?" Bellamy questioned lightly, standing up. Kat immediately straightened as he slowly began to wade his way toward her. "Are you sure about that… Kitten?"

"…Yes," she said in what was probably meant to be a strong voice, but came out breathy instead. "I don't even like you!" For every step that he took forward, she took one back, moving until her back was pressed against the rocks. He placed his hands on either side of her head, effectively caging her in.

He liked the way he towered over her, liked the way she was forced to look up at him. He especially liked the way she met his gaze head on, that stubborn look in her gray eyes even though she was clearly out of her comfort zone.

"You don't need to like someone to be attracted to them," he told her softly, moving one step closer until he was a hair's breadth away.

"I don't-" she began in a strangled voice before breaking off and clearing her throat. "I don't understand what this… feeling is," she confessed.

Bellamy belatedly noticed that her eyes matched the stormy gray sky. Eyes that had just flicked down to his lips before jerking up to meet his gaze again. His stomach tightened in response.

"Your pupils are dilated… your breathing is heavy… you're cheeks are flushed," Bellamy traced a finger lightly down her cheek, before coming to rest lightly near her lips. Soft, full pink lips, the lower one slightly bigger than the upper one. He unconsciously licked his own lips. "Desire," he whispered, moving his finger lightly past her chin, down her neck making sure to skip over her bandage and tracing a line over the swell of her breasts. "What you're feeling is called desire."

"Desire," she repeated softly, closing her eyes. Goosebumps broke out over her skin and she shivered slightly as he continued tracing patterns.

Bellamy blinked in surprise as Kat suddenly opened her eyes and reached out, gently placing a hand on his chest, right over his heart. She was so much closer then he had realized – he could feel her breath tickling his chin.

The air abruptly felt charged with electricity and their surroundings seemed to fade away. All Bellamy was aware of was the warmth of her hand on his chest and those intense gray eyes.

She cocked her head to the side, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes. Curiosity shone through the lust in her gaze. "Your heart is beating almost as fast as mine. Are you feeling this too?"

_Yes. Fucking hell,_ Bellamy cursed silently. Damn hormones. He couldn't believe his entire plan just backfired. He wasn't supposed to be enjoying this as much as he was.

Bellamy slowly felt himself lowering his head, watching as Kat's lips parted in response. A thought suddenly crossed his mind and he frowned, pulling back to look at her. "Wait. Are you a virgin?" He blurted out. He inwardly winced at his lack to tact.

Kat blinked a couple times and shook her head slightly, clearly trying to think through the haze. "What?"

"You said you'd never had this feeling before. Are you a virgin?" He tried hard not to make his voice sound accusing but by the twist of her lips he knew he didn't succeed.

Kat rolled her eyes, withdrawing her hand. Just like that, whatever moment they had been having was broken. Bellamy was able to breathe properly again and the world faded back into view.

"I was locked up from the time I was 13, Blake. There's surprisingly not that much time to have sex in the Skybox. Of course I'm a virgin."

Bellamy felt uncomfortable – he didn't know what to think. All of the girls that he had ever been with had been experienced. There was nothing wrong with virgins, of course, but there was a lot of responsibility on the guy to make them feel comfortable. Plus, they tended to get a bit clingy and when you weren't looking for a relationship, things could get messy.

The girls he had sex with knew who he was and what he wanted – casual sex and nothing more.

Reading the look on his face Kat gave a small huff and slipped out from between him and the rocks, wading over to the opposite side of the river. "I'm not going to apologize for being a virgin, Blake. If it makes you feel weird or uncomfortable then that's your problem, not mine."

"I'm just surprised," Bellamy tried explaining. "Since girls have that…procedure done when they officially 'become a woman' or whatever, there was no reason to fear unexpected pregnancies. Girls were… freer, if that makes sense."

Sex was a pretty normal occurrence on the Ark, for both the males and females.

"I think hearing you stumble through that almost makes up for you purposefully trying to get a reaction out of me." Kat said in amusement.

"Trying? I'm pretty sure I succeeded," he chuckled.

"Kat! Bellamy!" They turned at the sound of Wells' voice echoing through the trees. "Finn found a trail over here!"

"Coming!" Kat shouted back, clambering out of the river and heading towards him.

Bellamy stepped out after her, wringing out his shirt and jacket. He grimaced at the feeling of his wet clothes against his skin. Kat speed walked through the forest, most likely trying to get away from him.

She was muttering under her breath again and Bellamy grinned when he heard, "…betrayed by my own body…"

He caught up with her quickly. "There's no reason to be embarrassed Kitten. A lot of girls are attracted to me. I promise I won't think any less of you for it."

"No but I might. I don't know you but as of right now I don't even really like you."

"Why not? We have more in common then you think."

"How so?" She asked, sounding skeptical.

"That anger you feel," Bellamy said quietly, speaking as if he were thinking out loud. Kat looked away, staring hard at the ground. "The anger that you try _so hard_ to hide and keep contained – but when it becomes too much it spreads to every part of your body and the only way to get rid of that much energy is to fight, to hit something in order to make yourself feel better. Does that sound familiar?"

Kat stopped and looked at him, an unreadable expression on her face. After a moment, she opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Wells.

"There you are!" He said, exasperated. "Hurry up, Jasper might not have that much time left."

Kat searched Bellamy's eyes for a moment more before turning to Wells, mustering up a smile. "Yes. Right behind you."

Bellamy watched her leave, frowning. What had she been about to say?

**Kat's POV**

"Hey how do we know this is the right way?" Murphy complained.

Kat rolled her eyes. Damn Blake for inviting him along – he'd done nothing but complain and cause problems. Their group was currently walking along the rocks, following a trail that Clarke and Finn had supposedly found.

When they had rejoined the rest of the group, Murphy had looked from Finn and Clarke who's clothes were wet and then trailed over her and Bellamy's, a disgusted look on his face. She could see the way his brain was thinking and she just wanted to punch him.

"We don't," Blake stated. "Spacewalker thinks he's a tracker."

Don't even get her started on Bellamy Blake. She refused to examine what had happened in the river earlier until she had enough time to fully think it through. Just thinking about Blake filled her with a mixture of irritation, confusion, and a strong desire to either kiss him or punch him in the face.

"It's called cutting sign. Fourth year Earth skills. He's good," Wells said.

"You wanna keep it down or should I paint a target on my back?" Finn asked sarcastically.

Kat tried hard to see what Finn was seeing, but it was hopeless. She just didn't have the skills or the necessary schooling. Curious, she sidled up next to him. "Serious question, how do you know where you're going?" She asked. "What trail are you following?"

He gave her a small smile. "You have to look for man-made disturbances in nature. Like a foot-print in the dirt or…" he broke off and approached a nearby bush, picking up a broken branch. "Something like this."

He quickly knelt down and Kat followed suit, following his gaze and grimacing when she saw red dots down on the rocks. "Blood," she said quietly.

Clarke knelt down on the other side of her. "We must be close." Finn and Clarke shared a significant glance that made Kat raise her eyebrows as she looked between the two of them. It seemed that whatever fight or disagreement they had earlier was already forgotten.

A loud, guttural moan broke through the silence. Kat felt the hairs on her arms stand up as all of the muscles in her body tensed.

"What the hell was that?" Murphy asked, an undercurrent of fear in his voice.

"Now would be a good time to take out that gun," Clarke said ominously as she stood up and headed directly towards the creepy noise.

Kat followed Clarke and Finn as they hurried through the forest, jumping over logs and breaking through bushes. The moaning became louder and Kat skidded to a halt as they suddenly reached a clearing.

"Jasper," Clarke whispered in horror.

Kat blinked once. Twice. Then rubbed her eyes vigorously, almost certain that she must be seeing things. When she looked again, however, nothing had changed.

She clenched her jaw, feeling sick. A thick, misshapen tree stood in the middle of the high grass and sitting in that tree, his hands tied to the branch above him was Jasper. He was unconscious and pale, with his shirt off and blood and dirt splattered across his body.

"Holy shit," she whispered, appalled.

"Oh my god, Jasper!" Clarke called, hurrying forward to help him.

Kat followed close behind them, eyes locked on Jasper. She still couldn't believe what she was seeing. Why would they tie him up there like that?

All of a sudden Clarke let out a yelp as a trap door in the ground suddenly sprang open. One second she was there and the next Blake was kneeling at the edge of the pit, his grip on her wrist the only thing stopping her from falling to her death.

In the moment that it took Kat to process what had happened, she was sure that Blake was going to drop Clarke. Since she was standing to the side, she saw the look on his face, the darkness lurking behind his eyes as he thought it through.

Kat sprang forward, grabbing Clarke's other arm as the others shouted and rushed forward to help pull Clarke up.

"Are you okay?" Finn asked, when she was standing on solid ground again.

"Yeah," Clarke said, panting, fear still evident on her face. Of course, it didn't take long for her to re-focus on Jasper. "We need to get him down."

"I'll climb up there and cut the vines," Finn offered.

"Yeah, I'm with you," Wells said.

"No. Stay with Clarke. And watch him," Finn ordered, sending a dark, distrusting look at Blake, who for once had nothing to say. Probably regretting not dropping Clarke. "You." Finn nodded to Murphy. "Let's go."

"What's that green thing on his chest?" Kat asked, staring up at the poor kid. He didn't even look like he was breathing.

"There's a poultice on his wound," Clarke said, mystified and slightly alarmed.

"Medicine? Why would they save his life just to string him up as live bait?" Wells asked.

"Maybe what they're trying to catch likes his dinner to be breathing," Blake suggested. Kat inwardly shuddered at the thought of giant monsters that eat humans.

"Maybe what they're trying to catch is us," Finn added.

"No, that doesn't sound right," Kat said slowly, thinking out loud. "That trap would have killed Clarke and who knows who else. They have the skill and accuracy to throw a spear over 200 yards so if they wanted to kill us we'd be dead by now. They speared Jasper in the chest and then saved his life…strung him up high in the tree so that we'd be able to see him clearly. I think this was meant as some kind of warning."

"I don't know which option is worse," Wells murmured softly.

Nobody quite knew what to say after that. They watched as Finn and Murphy slowly made their way up the tree, carefully cutting at the vines surrounding Jaspers body.

"Be careful!" Clarke called up to them. Kat had to forcefully stop herself from rolling her eyes yet again. _No shit, genius._

A loud rustling noise suddenly came from the high grass to their right. Everybody tensed.

"What the hell was that?" Murphy asked for the second time in fifteen minutes. Kat noted with satisfaction that he sounded scared – serves him right.

"Grounders?" Blake suggested, shifting uneasily. A low warning growl echoed along with the rustling.

"Do grounders growl like that?" Kat hissed, eyes darting through the grass, trying to identify the source of the noise.

"How should I know?" Blake shot back, frustrated.

"Oh fuck," Kat cursed as a powerful, black animal slowly stalked forward into view. Sharp teeth were visible even from where they were standing and its dark, glittering eyes were currently locked on them.

It gave a frightening roar and sprang forward into a run. "Bellamy, gun!" Clarke shouted.

Blake reached around to pull the gun from his pants, but he came back empty handed, looking at Kat with wide eyes full of confusion and panic. Oh hot damn. They were in trouble.

Two gunshots came from nowhere and Kat swung around to see Wells standing with the gun pointed at the animal, a look of deep concentration on his face. He managed to hit it in the leg, making its step falter, but it didn't stop it from coming for them.

Kat's heart was pounding fiercely in her chest, as she racked her brain, trying to think of a way out. With her eyes locked on what she could see of the animal, Kat slowly and carefully bent down and pulled the switchblade out of her boot without making any sudden movements.

The animal disappeared into the high grass surrounding her and Blake. It somehow sounded like the animal was coming at them from all sides, but Kat forced herself to keep her breathing calm and even, her eyes methodically moving in all directions. Blake was constantly shifting and she could hear him panting loudly.

Kat flicked her knife open. A loud growl came from Blake's left and Kat moved on autopilot, brushing past him and bringing her right arm back, throwing the blade with all her might.

Kat watched in dismay as it struck the beasts shoulder instead of its throat, which was what she was aiming for.

Damn it. She was too rusty and now it was going to cost her her life.

She watched in slow motion as the beast gathered its muscles beneath it and sprang for her, teeth and claws bared. Kat's eyes shut both in terror and disappointment.

She was going to die, right when she finally had the opportunity to live.

"Kat!" Bellamy shouted angrily. "Look out!" He grabbed her arm and yanked her back roughly as the animal leaped forward with a snarl.

She stumbled and lost her balance as he pulled too hard. They both tumbled to the ground, Blake shielding her from the animal with his body.

Kat heard Clarke shouting, more gunshots, and then finally, silence. Kat's eyes fluttered open and saw how close Blake's face was. She could have counted the freckles dotting across his nose. His entire body was pressed up against hers, heavy and warm and…

"What is wrong with you?" Blake practically shouted. Kat blinked. She really liked him so much better when he wasn't speaking. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Kat shoved him off and stood, brushing the dirt and grass from her body. "I was trying to save your _life_, you moron." He straightened, his face still angry, though she wasn't quite sure why.

"If I hadn't pulled you back-"

"Then I would still be alive because Wells would still have shot it," she interjected in a distracted voice. "Now if you would stop yelling, my head would really appreciate it." She was staring at the giant animal lying on the ground, which she could tell was some type of cat.

Kat went over to the dead animal and pulled her knife out of its shoulder wiping the blood on it's fur, before closing it up and shoving it back in her boot. She stared the beast in the face. Even in death it was powerful and terrifying. She had thought for sure that she was going to die, or at the very least be severely maimed.

"Now she sees you," Blake said to Wells. Kat didn't even have the energy to examine the cryptic statement.

Wells came over to join her, kneeling next to the giant beast to get a closer look.

"Thanks for the save," Kat said softly, nudging him with her shoulder. "I don't know how I can-"

"Consider us even," Wells interrupted, glancing at her with a small smile. "For trying to help me last night." She wanted to explain how that didn't even come close to the fact that he just saved her life, but he didn't give her the chance.

"Nice knife," he said, nodding at it. "Where'd you get it?"

"It was my fathers," Kat said shortly. An awkward moment descended between them. "Do you think it would be safe to eat this?" She asked, quickly changing the subject.

Wells frowned. "Probably. We'd have to take the fur off and cook the meat, but it should be okay."

Kat's stomach gave a loud, bubbling, gurgle at the thought and her mouth flooded with saliva. Kat gave him a tired yet amused grin at the shocked look on his face. "What's that phrase? I'm so hungry I could eat a cat?"

Wells' mouth twitched. "Horse. Its 'I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.'"

She shrugged. "Whatever. Now how are we going to drag this thing back to camp?"

He took off his backpack and pulled out a part of the dropship's parachute. "Here. Help me put it in this so it's easier to carry."

"Sure," she said, grabbing the beast's legs and helping Wells drag it on the parachute.

"We found Jasper alive, we didn't run into any grounders and were going to have food in our stomach's for the first time in over 24 hours. Maybe things will start looking up for us," Wells said hopefully.

"Famous last words," Kat muttered, watching Clarke shout orders at Finn and Murphy who had finally cut Jasper loose. Blake, who had been watching them with his arms crossed, looked over at her, meeting her gaze. His brown eyes darkened and Kat wished she could tell what he was thinking. "I sure as hell hope you're right."

* * *

**Author's Note: Just wanted to mention the whole 'procedure' thing that I mentioned. The show hasn't mentioned how they handle the population control so effectively up on the Ark. I was purposefully vague because I couldn't even begin to fathom what they do, but when the show brings it up then I will go back and fix it in my story. I just wanted to get across the fact that unexpected pregnancies don't usually happen and a lot of teens and adults have the option of a carefree sex life. In case you couldn't tell, this story WILL NOT be taking the whole pregnancy/baby route. Hopefully this is okay!**

**On another note, I've found someone to beta my story :) She isn't available until the middle of June and I want to go through these first couple of chapters before I post anything else, so unless I can write the next chapter quickly, it might be a little bit of a wait. But don't worry, I'm not abandoning you guys!**

**As always, I appreciate any questions, comments, or suggestions so don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you think :) You guys are awesome!**


	5. Complications

Disclaimer: I do not own The 100

**Author's Note: *** STOP! READ THIS FIRST! *****

**I had a minor plot epiphany a few weeks ago, so chapters 1-4 have been rewritten. Some new scenes were added and others were taken out completely, so make sure you give those chapters a quick read through before moving on to this one! I promise, this will be the first and ONLY time I rewrite the plot of my story.**

**Hello my lovely readers, both those who have been with me from the beginning and those just joining me now :) ****Sorry for the long wait, but re-writing 4 chapters and creating a new one takes a while. I couldn't have gotten through it without my two new wonderful betas, Dannylionthe1st and Randomness is Bliss! They're both writing great stories for The 100 so be sure to check them out! **

**Thank you all so much for reviewing/favoriting/following my story. I am shocked, humbled and grateful with the response that Free to Live, Free to Love has gotten. All of you are amazing! **

**WARNING: This chapter is rated in the middle of T/M for sexual content. If anybody doesn't want to read these types of scenes, then don't read this chapter!**

**Alright, I'll stop talking. Hope you guys enjoy this next chapter – don't forget to review and let me know what you think!**

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Chapter 5: Complications

Kat swore explosively as the heavy branch slipped from her grasp and landed with a dull thud on her foot. With an angry grimace, she kicked it with her other foot, though all she got for her trouble was a matching dull throb.

"Stupid branch, stupid foot, stupid fucking tent," she muttered darkly, limping off her pain. She had all the supplies she needed; thick, strong branches of varying size, some vine in order to tie them together, and a big enough piece of the ship's parachute in order to cover the tent on all sides.

Still muttering under her breath, Kat took a step back, surveying the scene with a critical eye and her hands on her hips. She hadn't quite worked out how to hold both sides of the branches in order to tie them together.

Trying once more, Kat picked up one end of the branch, heaving it up on her shoulder. She paused, thinking quickly about the best way to lift it in order to tie it to the branch that she had already stuck deep into the ground.

"Need some help?" Kat looked up to see Octavia standing there, an amused expression on her face. Obviously she had been watching Kat struggle for quite some time now.

Before Kat could lie and protest that she was doing just fine on her own, Octavia stepped up and took the other end of the branch.

Kat didn't move, just stared at her. "Why are you helping me? What do you want?"

Octavia looked confused. "I don't want anything Kat. You just looked like you needed some help."

Kat wasn't entirely convinced, but with her help she was able to easily maneuver the branches until they connected and then tied them together.

She slowly straightened before making eye contact with Octavia who was watching her with an expectant look on her face. With a roll of her eyes, Kat shifted slightly. "Thanks," she said reluctantly.

Wordlessly, they both moved onto the next branch and continued to build the tent.

"How's Jasper doing?" Kat asked to break the silence. She herself hadn't been to see him since they brought him back yesterday, partially because she didn't know him very well and partially because Clarke hadn't left his side since.

Octavia shrugged, though a concerned expression appeared on her face. "We're not really sure. He's still breathing, but he hasn't woken up yet. I mean, it looks like the Grounders patched him up okay, but who knows? Maybe they gave him something and he'll never wake up."

Kat frowned. "If that was true, then why did they string him up in the tree for us to find? Why save him at all?"

"I don't know," Octavia admitted, shaking her head. "Anything's possible though, right? I still can't wrap my head around the fact that people somehow _survived_ the nuclear war. For 97 years we lived up on that Ark thinking that we were the only survivors from the ground. And all this time the ground has not only been inhabitable, but people have been thriving here. Everything we thought we knew about the ground is wrong."

"Yes," Kat agreed, bending to lift another branch. "But that's not necessarily a bad thing." At Octavia's incredulous look, she continued. "Think about it! For the 97 years we've been up on the Ark, the grounders have been down here. They probably know more about our history then we do and more importantly, they probably know everything about surviving down here. Maybe the incident with Jasper was just a misunderstanding."

"A misunderstanding that almost got him killed."

"True," Kat conceded. "But all the same, how amazing would it be if we could talk to them and work out our differences? Then we wouldn't have to worry about constantly looking over our shoulders in fear of spears flying at us."

"Ideally it sounds great, though slightly unrealistic."

Kat gave a humorless chuckle. "Maybe. I wouldn't even know how to go about doing any of that."

With a sigh, Octavia straightened, pushing her hair back with the back of her hand. She caught sight of someone over Kat's shoulder and a smile spread across her face, her eyes brightening. Kat blinked at the sudden transformation; she was carelessly beautiful and Kat was momentarily jealous.

What would it be like to be happy enough to smile like that so easily?

"Atom!" Octavia called happily, waving someone over. Kat looked over her shoulder to see a boy with short dark hair and blue eyes glance Octavia's way. She watched the indecision play over his face. After a brief moment of hesitation, his expression turned cold and he deliberately turned to walk in the opposite direction.

"Ouch," Kat commented lightly. "What was that about?"

"I don't know," Octavia murmured, the hurt and anger evident in her voice. "But if he thinks that he can make out with me one day and then ignore me the next then he has another thing coming."

Kat's eyebrows nearly touched her hairline. "Wow. You move fast."

She received an exasperated look. "I've been alive for seventeen years but not for one day have I really lived. You should understand that. There's so much that we missed out on, so much that we never got to experience!"

"Like making out with boys?" Kat was _not_ thinking about Bellamy Blake.

Octavia couldn't help but grin. "Among other things." _Nope. Don't even go there, Hale._

Together they grabbed the edges of the parachute and threw it over the structure that they had created. "When you're locked in the Skybox for as long as I was, it seems pointless to think about what your future could have been. It brings you nothing but pain and frustration."

Octavia nodded, giving Kat a thoughtful look. "I can understand that."

"…I guess you can."

They finished pulling the parachute down around the sides of the tent and stepped back to survey their work. "What do you think?"

"I like it," Kat grinned, pleased. She shoved aside the flap of the tent and ducked so she could step inside. It wasn't a particularly large tent, but it was hers and she had created it by herself. _Mostly_ by herself.

She turned as Octavia stepped into the tent behind her. "Do you… do you need help with your tent?"

_That was a kind thing to do, right? Offer to help her because she had helped me?_

"No thanks," Octavia said, looking around. "Bellamy already helped me with mine." She stopped to tighten the vines on one of the branches. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"What happened between you and Clarke?"

The question caught her off guard and she felt her lips tighten. "What makes you think something happened between us?" Kat asked, stalling for time.

"It's kind of obvious. Whenever you two speak I can practically feel the hostility radiating off you. Like whatever that was between the two of you yesterday before you guys left."

Kat grimaced. People really needed to mind their own business. "Maybe I just don't like her."

Octavia snorted. "Well I certainly wouldn't blame you for that. She can be extremely annoying. But there's something else, isn't there?"

Irritation ran through Kat again, though she tried to feign boredom as she said in a monotone voice, "Yes, I knew Clarke back on the Ark. Yes, something happened between us and no, I will not tell you what it was."

Octavia raised her hands in a defensive gesture, though she didn't seem offended. "Okay. Clarke is a touchy subject. Noted." She paused for a second. "Can I ask you another question?"

Kat stifled a sigh as she headed back outside, double checking that the parachute was tied on correctly. "I doubt I could stop you."

"You beat up Murphy and the others when they attacked Wells. By yourself."

"That's not a question," she pointed out.

"You know how to fight."

"That's not a question either."

"Can you teach me?"

Kat opened her mouth, then closed it again. "Wait, what?"

"Can you teach me to fight?"

Kat's eyebrows met in the middle as she stared at the other girl. "Teach you to fight," she repeated slowly. "Why?"

Octavia looked over at her, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "There are murderers sleeping among us, you know."

Kat returned her grin. "Tell me something I don't know."

"I thought it would be a smart idea to learn how to protect myself and get Bellamy off my back at the same time. He still treats me like I'm five years old, which is not only insulting but also extremely frustrating."

Both of them paused again as they watched Atom cross in front of them, deliberately not looking their way. "It will also help keep my mind off certain things," she added bitterly.

"That's all well and good, but I don't know the first thing about teaching someone how to fight. I mean my father was training me when I was younger, but that was years ago-"

"Do you still remember what he taught you?"

Kat suppressed a shudder. "I don't think I'll ever forget," she said softly, watching the other teenagers milling about.

"I don't expect you to train me to become some professional fighter or anything. Just enough basic skills so that I can protect myself."

_Could I do it? Do I remember enough to pass on my father's training?_

She wracked her brain, trying to think of any potential downsides, but in the end she just shrugged. As long as she didn't teach Octavia the same way that her father taught her, everything should be okay.

"Alright," Kat nodded, crossing her arms. "We'll start tomorrow then, just after the sun rises."

"Tomorrow? Why not today?"

"The sun's gunna set soon and you're going to need a full night's rest before we begin."

Octavia eyed her cautiously. "Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?"

"Nah," Kat said lightly, a grin slowly spreading across her face. She was already going through the different moves and techniques that she could possibly teach. "It'll be _fun_."

Kat stifled a yawn as she stepped inside her new home, a blanket slung across her shoulder. Some irritating little punk had tried to sneak off with two blankets so she decided to relieve him of his burden. The Ark didn't send them down with many supplies, but the least they could have done was send enough for everybody.

She spread it out over the softest part of the ground and lay down, staring up at the top of her tent. It had been a long day, though rather uneventful considering the start of their new life down here.

After her talk with Octavia this morning she had agreed to help Wells gather some of the berries that the kid Monty had deemed safe enough to eat. She had regretted this decision almost immediately. The entire time they were gone Wells had pestered her to go talk to Clarke and work out whatever problems they were having. At first Kat had calmly deflected all his attempts, but at the end of an hour they both grew increasingly agitated. It finally broke when Kat threw the berries into the jacket he was using to hold them all and told him to go fuck himself before storming away.

Making a disgruntled noise, Kat threw an arm over her eyes. She probably shouldn't have yelled at him like that. Just recalling the look on his face as she did made her feel slightly guilty. In his own way, he was only trying to help. With a cringe, she realized she was going to have to apologize to him tomorrow. Damn.

Trying to clear her mind, Kat rolled onto her side and closed her eyes, attempting to fall asleep.

_It felt like she was asleep not even five minutes when the sound of a twig snapping from right outside her tent startled her from sleep. _

_Snapping her eyes wide open, Kat held her breath, listening as the footsteps made their way to the front of her tent. Who was it? Murphy, coming back for revenge for what happened the other night? Or his goon squad, hoping to knock her out and take her to a quiet location?_

_Thinking quickly, Kat quietly scrambled to her feet and stood next to the opening. She kept her breathing calm and even as she watched a tall figure step through into her tent. It stood there for a moment before taking a step further inside, obviously looking for her._

_Entire body tensed, Kat crept up from behind and kicked out the intruder's knee, though instead of falling to the ground like he was supposed to, he only stumbled._

_The intruder tried to turn and face her and Kat crouched down closely to the ground, sweeping his legs out from under him. Moving quickly, Kat punched him in the stomach – he let out a surprised "oof!" and before he could get his breath back, Kat quickly straddled his waist, grabbing both of the intruder's arms so he couldn't strike back._

_She looked down into the intruder's face and – "Blake?" She asked in a bewildered voice._

_He took a breath and winced. "What the fuck, Kitten? What's up with the attack first, ask questions later response?"_

_She narrowed her eyes in response. "Damn it Blake, stop calling me that! Why are you creeping around my tent in the middle of the night?"_

"_Octavia's up to something and she won't tell me what it is. When I tried to press her for more information, she let your name slip." Blake glared up at her. "What are you two planning?"_

"_You're here to interrogate me? In the middle of the night?" Making a disgusted noise, Kat let go of his arms and made to get off him. "Fuck you, Blake. I don't have to tell you anything."_

_Quick as a flash, Blake grabbed her wrists so she was still hovered over him. She stared down at him with wide eyes, only just now realizing the position they were in. "Where do you think you're going, Kitten?" He murmured softly. "I kind of like you right where you are."_

_Their faces were only inches apart. She could just barely see his eyes staring up at her and was beginning to recognize the burning heat in his gaze. Desire…_

"_Don't be ridiculous, Blake," she scolded, not wanting to acknowledge how breathy her voice sounded. "Let me up."_

_He did let her up, kind of. In another movement that took her completely by surprise, he sat up, bringing her arms back and pinning them behind her. Her chest brushed against his in a way that was entirely too tempting._

"_What's the matter, Kitten?" He murmured, a cocky grin playing around the corners of his lips. "Still not ready to acknowledge the fact that you want me?"_

"_I don't," she lied, her eyes betraying her by flicking down to his lips._

"_Challenge accepted," he whispered._

_In a movement that was both slow and deliberate, he inched forward, his eyes locked on hers. He was giving her time to pull away, but the thought didn't even cross her mind. She had unconsciously licked her lips and was waiting breathlessly, curiosity making her immobile._

_Just when she thought their lips would finally connect, he pulled back slightly, raising his eyebrows and looking at her as if waiting for her to move. She raised hers in response, accepting his challenge. With a small shrug, he started forward again, but instead of kissing her lips he veered away, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. She frowned as he continued this way, pressing soft kisses all along her cheeks and jaw. After a moment he pulled back slightly, eyebrow raised again. "Ready to admit it now?"_

_Not trusting herself to speak, Kat just shook her head. There was no way that he could know that her body temperature had risen at least ten degrees and her heart was beating a million miles an hour. Or, thank god, the fact that the warm, liquidy feeling was back in her lower stomach._

"_Let's take it up a notch, shall we?" He murmured. _

_His movements were different this time, not as soft as the kisses before. With his left hand still holding her wrists behind her back, he used his right to get a firm grip of her ponytail, pulling to expose more of her neck. Blake kissed, licked and suckled all along the column of her throat._

_Kat stared up at the ceiling of her tent, chest heaving and eyes wide with shock. She tried in vain to ignore the pleasurable zings of heat rushing through her body, to ignore what he was doing to her, but it was nearly impossible._

_He surrounded her, consumed all of her senses, and Kat found she could think of little else. _

_Touch. His large hands gripping her wrists and tangling in her hair. His soft, hot mouth – and oh my god, was that his tongue? – relentlessly attacking her neck._

_Smell. His distinctly woodsy smell along with a slightly musky scent that Kat was having a hard time identifying. _

_Hearing. Her embarrassingly loud panting and his deep, heavy breathing._

_Sight. The outline of his messy hair when she looked down._

_Taste. Nothing yet, but she wanted… she wanted… _

_Blake sucked a certain spot under her ear, making her pulse soar. She could do nothing to swallow the whimper that escaped and could actually feel the smug bastard grinning against her neck. _

"_Fuck…you, Blake," she groaned, trying to gather her wits as he, deciding he liked that particular spot, started to nibble on it._

_Growing restless, Kat tried to tug her hands free, but he only tightened his grip. _

"_That's what I've been trying to tell you, Kitten," he murmured into her throat. "Stop being stubborn, and just admit that you want me."_

_She opened her mouth to reply, when Blake gently bit her earlobe, sending white-hot pleasure jolts straight to her lower stomach. Instead of a snappy retort, all that came out was a harsh cry as her hips involuntarily jerked over Blake's hips. _

_He froze and let out a strangled groan at the sudden movement. Stomach somersaulting at the guttural sound, Kat suddenly felt emboldened. _

"_Never," she whispered, using his momentary distraction to wrench her wrists free, and without a single moment of hesitation, plunged both her hands into his thick, black hair and lifted his head to hers, _finally_ getting the kiss that she wanted._

_If he was surprised by her bold move, he didn't show it – instead he met her sudden passion and then some. Almost immediately he deepened the kiss and suddenly their tongues were battling for dominance._

_Blake's hands had slid down to her waist and were now slowly inching their way up under her shirt, sending small shivers down her back at the skin on skin contact. With a firm grip on her hips, he pressed them down in another smooth movement over his pelvis. She gasped as the movement sent more jolts rushing through her, made stronger by the sound of the groan that came out of his throat._

_She felt frenzied, her body on fire as Blake brought her hips down again, and again, and soon she was doing it on her own. She didn't understand what was happening to her, only that her body was reaching for something, climbing higher and higher…_

…_reaching…reaching…almost, and –_

A loud burst of laughter came from outside her tent and Kat woke up with a yelp, springing upright. For a moment she gazed around wildly, unsure where she was or what was going on.

Sweat plastered her hair across her forehead and neck, her heart was still trying to jump out of her chest and she was still pulsing down there, feeling frustrated and extremely unsatisfied.

"Mother fucker," she whispered as realization sunk in. Brief images of her dream flashed through her mind and with a groan, Kat flopped back down on the blanket. Sunlight peeked through the flap in her tent and with another groan, she remembered that she not only had a training session with Octavia in a few hours but she had also just had a sex dream about the girl's brother.

_Shit, shit, shit._

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**Author's Note: This chapter was a bit shorter then the others, and some of you may think it was a filler, but that's okay, cause it kind of is! It was fun to write and it gives you a good glimpse into Kat's subconscious, which she's trying so hard to ignore. **

**I'm still flabbergasted by all your reviews for the last chapter. It makes me feel so appreciated! I never considered myself much of a writer and I'm so glad I decided to put this story out there.**

**I hope everyone liked the re-write and this new chapter! I'm so nervous to hear your responses! This story will eventually be rated M, so I'm using this chapter to gauge everyone's reaction to these types of scenes. PLEASE let me know what you liked and didn't like. All your comments and suggestions are taken very seriously and I always think about them when writing the next chapter. **

**Review, review, review! They're my favorite :) **


	6. The Test

**Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who favorited/followed/reviewed! Your amazing responses to the last chapter inspired me to put this one up faster. I try and respond to each and every one of you, but I only can if you guys have an account. So this is a thank you to all those guest reviewers! **

**Special shout out to my betas Dannylionthe1st and Randomness is Bliss for their help. I hope you guys like this chapter – don't forget to leave a review!**

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Chapter 6: The Test

_Thunk._ Kat gave a grim smile at the satisfying sound of her knife hitting the tree trunk.

She hadn't even attempted trying to fall back asleep after that ridiculous dream had woken her up. Wide-awake and with all that extra frustrated energy running through her body, Kat had stormed out her tent to see the sun just beginning to rise in the sky. She was surprised to see how many people were awake at that hour, but she soon understood the reason.

Everyone within the vicinity of the drop ship could hear Jasper's painful moans.

She shuddered at how much pain he was obviously in and turned, striding into the forest in order to block out the noise.

With a content sigh, Kat moved forward to pull the knife out of the tree. Practice; that was all she had needed. It wouldn't help when a spear is speeding towards you from 200 yards away, but it could help for either close encounters with grounders or for when they were heading straight for her.

What they could all use was a gun. The only one they had was the one Bellamy magically pulled out of his ass when they come down here and Wells had used all the bullets yesterday when he had shot the panther. She wasn't stupid or delusional. She knew that the grounders were most likely bigger and stronger then she was, so she probably would be hard pressed to win a hand-to-hand fight.

The only reason she had won against the three idiots the other night was because she had more knowledge of how to fight and they hadn't been expecting her.

What she really needed was a weapon. Something that would keep her opponent at bay while doing some damage. She frowned, looking around. What could she possibly use to make a weapon? A couple of people had used bits of the wreckage from the drop ship to make knives like the one Murphy had. They were in the middle of a forest, damn it, so unless she could hit her opponent with a tree or something…

Her eyes widened. That was it! Kat cast her gaze around, looking at the floor and up into the trees. She needed something that was easy to hold, something that wouldn't break upon impact. Something like - that.

Kat strode over to a nearby tree, reaching up and wrapping her hand around one of the branches above her head. Her fingertips barely overlapped and she nodded, pleased with the strength and solidness of the branch.

She pulled hard on it, frowning when it bent slightly but otherwise remained stuck to the tree. Muttering darkly under her breath, Kat used all her body weight, lifting her feet off the ground and doing an awkward, bouncing maneuver in order to put enough pressure on the branch to break it.

It suddenly broke with a satisfying snap and Kat fell back to the ground, stumbling a little bit.

Pleased with her success, she inspected the branch, stripping off the little twigs and leaves. Fishing the switchblade back out of her pocket, Kat sat back against the tree and began to even out the jagged ends making sure that the branch was the same width the whole way across.

Kat swore loudly as her finger caught on a sharp piece of bark and she automatically stuck her finger in her mouth to suck the blood away. Gritting her teeth, Kat began to peel the rest of the bark off.

It took a long time, and earned her about a dozen splinters but she was happy with the end result.

Climbing to her feet, Kat balanced the wood in her hand, giving it a few twirls to get used to the balance. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed it in both hands, slowly moving through a series of movements, the stick slicing through the air slowly at first, then faster and faster as she grew accustomed to the weight and strength needed. At first the movements felt slow and awkward, but after a time her confidence increased as she made up different movements and positions.

Her mind emptied as she moved fluidly through the small clearing, body twisting and turning as she loosened up her muscles. She lost track of time, the worries and the stress of the past couple of days fading completely.

It was just her and the stick in her hands, just her and the sounds of the forest….

A small noise came from behind her and without thinking Kat pivoted quickly on her back foot, the stick snapping around and stopping less than an inch from Octavia's neck.

"Holy shit," she breathed shakily, staring at Kat with wide eyes.

"Rule number one," Kat said, breathing heavily. "Don't sneak up on me."

"I'll keep that in mind." Octavia looked curiously at the stick in her hands. "What is that? Some type of staff?"

Kat shrugged. "Something like that."

Octavia rubbed her hands together excitedly, that familiar spark in her eye. "Alright, let's get this party started."

An amused smirk made its way onto Kat's face as she brought her staff up onto her shoulder. "It's cute that you think this will be fun."

Octavia's smile faded. "The thought is fading quickly," she muttered, narrowing her eyes in confusion. "_Why _are you circling me like that?"

Kat ignored that. "If we're going to do this, then I need your full and complete cooperation. This will not be fun – it will be tough, grueling, and will probably end up hurting. If you think about complaining, save it for someone who cares."

Octavia muttered something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like, '_hard-ass._' Without batting an eyelash, Kat brought her staff down across Octavia's calf, sharp enough to sting, but not hard enough to leave a mark. "Ow!" Octavia cried, more out of shock then pain. "What the fuck was that for?"

Kat ignored her glare. "If we're actually going to do this, then I need you to pay attention! With the way things are going on this planet, then the skills that this hard-ass is going to teach might just save your life."

Octavia raised both her hands in a defensive gesture, but managed not to say anything else.

Kat nodded in approval. "Good. Now put your hair up, fighting with it down is just ridiculous. I always hated those girls who did any sort of physical activity with their hair down. And take off your jacket too." She rolled her eyes at Octavia's raised eyebrow. "It's restricting, dumbass."

Kat placed her staff to the side as Octavia was getting ready. Standing in front of her, Kat asked, "What do you know about fighting?" Octavia just looked at her with an expectant expression. "What?"

"Am I allowed to speak now?"

Kat clenched her jaw, pushing down her irritation. "Yes."

"Well, given the fact that I spent my entire life hiding under the floor, I didn't get into many fights," Octavia said sarcastically. "I _do_ know that when you're throwing a punch, you don't keep you thumb in your fist because it can break."

"That's right. Okay, show me. Pretend you're going to punch someone." Octavia made a fist with her right hand and mimed throwing a punch. "Good," Kat said, watching her with a critical eye. "Again. Slower this time."

"How's that?"

"Not bad," Kat conceded, taking Octavia's fist in her hand. "Just a few adjustments. First, make sure your thumb is wrapped around the bottom of your curled fingers, not on the side of your index finger. It should be between the first and second knuckle, like this. Now, when you see people shaking their hands after a punch, it's usually because they hit with the wrong part of their hand. You should aim to punch with the first two knuckles, so you should tilt your wrist down, which actually increases the strength of your punch as well."

"Like this?" Octavia threw a few more pretend punches. Kat was pleased at the now completely serious look on her face.

"Better." She pulled up Octavia's left hand and curled it into a fist, putting it by her chin. "Keep this hand here to block any possible attacks from your opponents. Now, when you're throwing a punch, it's not just your arm you're supposed to use. It's your hips and your legs as well." She brought her hands up by her face, showing Octavia her stance. "Watch. It's a one-two step. Left, right. On your right step, twist your hips and your torso into the punch, and make sure you follow through. Now you try."

A little crease appeared between Octavia's eyebrows and she slowly moved through the motions. Kat had her do it again and again until the motion was quick and fluid. "Good. That was a right cross. Let's see the left. Same motions but the steps are right then left this time."

Kat was impressed with how quickly Octavia picked up the different punching techniques. She mastered the cross and Kat taught her the jab, hook and the uppercut as well.

A short while later, Kat was circling Octavia, her staff back on her shoulder as she called out instructions. "Right jab. Right cross. Left hook. Right uppercut. Tuck those elbows in." Kat twirled the staff in her hand once, then made her way over to Octavia. "Left cross. Good. Right uppercut – no, step with your other foot. Better. Keep your eyes up…. Now duck!" Kat lightly swung the staff at Octavia's head, who barely ducked in time. The other girl stared up at Kat with wide eyes before backpedaling slightly. "No, don't put your weight on your heels!" Kat took a quick, threatening step closer and Octavia stumbled. "See! Put your weight on the balls of your feet. Hands up, protect your face."

Kat put the staff off to the side and they moved through the motions, Octavia throwing a variety of punches, sometimes pressing forward and sometimes being forced to move back. Kat kept up a running commentary. "Fighting is all about action and reaction. You're small – don't give me that look Octavia Blake, it's a fact – so surprise will probably be on your side. Attack first and you may catch them off guard. You have to be quick and you have to be smart. When you make your move, do it fast and make it count. Make your hit then dance back, yes, like that, good." Kat faked a punch at Octavia's head, who raised an arm to block it, leaving her left side open. Kat berated her with a soft kick to her side. "No! You're watching my eyes and my arms!"

"Maybe because you're trying to punch me in the face!" Octavia hissed furiously, dancing back and getting into the ready position again.

"Arms and eyes can lie. Always watch your opponent's hips, their center of gravity." Kat tried another fake, and this time Octavia was able to successfully block it. "Much better. This time-" Kat broke off, her eyes widening as she spotted something over Octavia's shoulder. She felt herself flush a bright red as vivid images danced in her brain.

_Oh goddamn it. I was supposed to have more time than this! Why does he have to be here now?_

She was so distracted that she didn't even see Octavia's jab to her stomach. She grunted in surprise and pain at the contact to her already sore stomach bruise, making Octavia grin in triumph. "Ha! That totally counts as a point to me, right-"

"Just what in the _hell_ is going on here?!"

Octavia turned to see a very pissed off Bellamy Blake.

**Bellamy's POV**

He crossed his arms, glaring at the two girls in front of him. When he had woken up this morning and couldn't find Octavia, after a brief moment of panic the first thing he did was look for Atom. Did Bellamy overreact when he grabbed him by his shirt and pushed him against a tree? Maybe. But at least he got his answer. Atom had angrily muttered something about Octavia taking off into the woods a while ago before pushing him off.

It had taken Bellamy almost an hour to find her, which only increased his anger and frustration. How the hell was he supposed to keep her safe when she kept disappearing on him?

"Bellamy," Octavia tried, but he cut her off with another glare.

"Have the two of you completely lost your minds? There are spear-throwing grounders in this forest and you think it's okay to just wander off to – to…" he frowned, looking between them, noting their flushed, sweaty faces and defensive stances. "What are you two doing?"

Octavia straightened, pushing a stray strand of hair out of her face. "Why are you such an over-protective ass, Bellamy Blake," she snapped, rolling her eyes. "You weren't supposed to find out about this until I was ready!"

"Find out about what?" He asked through clenched teeth.

She sighed, a look of resignation in her eyes. "Kat's teaching me how to fight."

For an instant, an image of seven year old Octavia appeared in his mind, complete with pig tails and a missing front tooth, begging him to give her a piggy back ride around their small apartment. He looked at seventeen-year-old Octavia with the determined, stubborn set of her jaw and he mourned the loss of the sweet, innocent girl she used to be. When had she grown up so fast? The other day he caught her making out with a boy and the day after she's learning how to fight. Where did his baby sister go?

He had to make a conscious effort to push away his ridiculous sadness and focus on the problem in front of him. "Teaching you to fight?" He repeated. "Why?"

"So that maybe, when you see that I can take care of myself, you'll loosen the reins a little bit."

His eyes narrowed. "And just who are you expecting to fight?"

Octavia threw her hands in the air in frustration. "I don't know! The proverbial 'they.' Criminals, grounders, idiot brothers who won't mind their own business," she muttered this last part under her breath, but he heard it just the same.

He chose to ignore it. "This is a terrible idea. You could get hurt."

"I won't-"

"You don't know that."

"But Bellamy-"

"Octavia Blake, stop questioning me and get your ass back to camp!" He roared, fists clenched at his sides. Noting her wide eyes, he made a conscious effort to rein in his anger. Taking a deep breath, he said, "The others are working together to put up a wall around camp to protect us from the grounders. Go help them. Please," he added as an afterthought.

Octavia's hand fluttered to her chest and an innocent yet slightly concerned look appeared on her face. "Are you sure that's a good idea? That sounds awfully dangerous, what if I get hurt? A tree could fall on me, or-"

"Octavia…" Bellamy warned through clenched teeth.

Her face abruptly changed, eyes narrowing and lips curling up in a snarl. She looked like she was trying to set Bellamy on fire with her eyes. "Fine. FINE!" She threw up her hands in exasperation. "But this isn't over. If you don't stop acting like my father, then we are going to have some _serious_ problems. And you!" She whirled to point a finger at Kat, who looked startled to be included in the fight. "Don't you dare listen to a word he says! We're not stopping our training, even if he threatens your life. Got it?"

Kat nodded, her eyes wide with curiosity and amusement. With another snarl, Octavia threw Bellamy one last glare, snatched up her jacket and stormed out of the clearing.

Bellamy watched her go, a sinking feeling in his stomach. That did not go well. Why couldn't she understand that he was trying to protect her?

"You probably shouldn't have yelled at her like that." Bellamy whipped his head around to see Kat picking up her jacket and some sort of long stick thing, an unreadable expression on her face.

"Excuse me?" He asked, eyebrows rising in disbelief.

"At least not with me around. It was embarrassing and a little bit humiliating for her, I imagine."

"Who do you think you are? That's my sister and my responsibility, you have no right to judge me or comment on our relationship. Besides, what do you know about having a sister? Octavia and I are literally the only siblings in the last hundred years. Don't presume to know what it's like."

Kat stopped in front of him, meeting his eyes for the first time since he had gotten here. "You're right. I don't know what it's like to have a sister. But in this case, you're thinking with your heart, when you should be thinking with your head."

She tapped his forehead lightly. Grabbing her wrist and pulling it away from his face in annoyance he asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Her eyes widened for some reason and her face flushed. She shifted on her feet and stared pointedly at something over his shoulder. "Um, you're thinking about Octavia as your little sister, which obviously she is. But think about it objectively – she's a pretty 17-year-old girl who has no real life experience. As hard as you're going to try, you're not going to be there all the time to protect her." His mind flashed to the cut on her leg and he inwardly winced. "Give me one good reason why she shouldn't learn to protect herself."

Bellamy opened his mouth to respond, then just as quickly snapped it shut again. Damn it. She was right. "Well, then I could teach her-"

Kat snorted. "Yeah that'll go well. You guys wouldn't last ten minutes before you were at each others throats again."

His jaw clenched and his nostrils flared as he stared down at her. Why wouldn't she look at him? "And what makes you think that you're qualified to teach her how to fight?"

She shrugged. "I'm probably not the most knowledgeable or experienced, but I started learning to fight when I was very young."

"Your father?" He guessed, prying and unable to help himself.

"Yes." And that was all she'd say about it.

"Alright," Bellamy said, shrugging out of his jacket. "Well, let's see how well he taught you."

Kat's eyes widened and they shot to his before looking away again. "You want to fight me?"

"Scared?"

"No," Kat scoffed. "Are you?"

"In your dreams, Kitten."

For some reason, his response elicited the strangest reaction from her. She made a sort of snorting, choking noise and she had to pound on her chest for a minute until she was able to breathe again.

He paused, peering at her with a frown on his face. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," she said quickly, tossing her things to the side again and turning to face him.

"You know, eventually you're going to have to look at me if you want to win this fight."

"No I don't." She began to circle him, fists slightly raised. "So how are we determining the winner?"

"First to pin the other for ten seconds?"

"Deal," she agreed.

Without hesitating, she aimed a kick at his stomach, which he blocked with his right arm. He retaliated with a right cross at her shoulder and she ducked out of the way. They were both surprised to find that they were evenly matched. Whereas Bellamy was stronger, Kat was quicker and knew more techniques. By unspoken consent, they both avoided headshots.

They quickly lost track of time, though they were sweaty, flushed and rapidly growing tired. Finally, the dynamic changed when Bellamy swept her legs out from under her. Kat huffed in surprise and went down hard, though she made sure that one of her shoulders wasn't pinned to the ground.

Bellamy wasted no time and straddled her waist, but hesitated when he should have gone for the pin. He stared down at her flushed face, heaving chest and wide gray eyes, and almost instantly a different sort of scenario flashed in his mind. He felt his body temperature rise a few degrees.

_Damn it. Not now, stupid hormonal brain._

"Why won't you _look_ at me?"

"I am looking at you."

"You're staring at my shoulder."

"That's a part of you, genius."

He rolled his eyes and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. "You know what I mean. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing." She let out a low groan when he just raised his eyebrows expectantly. He tried to tell himself that the sound did _not_ set a fire in his stomach. "Seriously, it was nothing," she continued, waving a hand dismissively. "I just didn't sleep well last night -"

"Yeah? Bad dreams?" He asked, only half listening. His mind went back to his own nightmares that continually wake him up. _A smell of cold metal and fear, the slight tremor throughout his body and the feel of cold sweat running down his face._

He blinked to dispel the images and looked down at Kat, doing a double take when he saw that her face had flushed a deep crimson. She was once again avoiding his gaze.

A slow smirk grew on his face as realization dawned. "A dream?" He repeated, latching on to the topic with interest. "Just what kind of dream did you have?" He didn't think it was possible, but Kat's face flushed a deeper red. His eyes lit up in response. "Well, well. Did you have a sex dream about me, Kitten?"

"No," she bit out. "We did not have sex. We just – I –" She broke off, glaring up at him. "This is all your fault, Blake, I blame you!"

"Hey, you can't be mad at me because I'm ridiculously good-looking-"

He watched in both amusement and arousal as she let out an indignant snarl. He tuned out from her rambling and tried to visualize the dream that Kat had last night. It wasn't really hard to do, especially since he was currently straddling her. He found himself distracted by her lips as she kept talking, and wondered what it was about her that he found so damn attractive. Obviously she was pretty, but it was more than that. For a virgin, she had this unconscious sex appeal that drew him to her. Not to mention the fact that it was incredibly sexy when she got all stubborn and defiant.

"….so you see, it really is all your fault."

"What?" He asked, dragging himself back to the present.

"Were you listening to anything I just said? You're the one who taught me about desire-"

"It was your dream, Kitten. Those images had to have come from somewhere." He grinned triumphantly at the frustrated look on her face. He felt extremely pleased to know that the attraction wasn't one sided. He watched as her eyes shut for several seconds. When they opened again, they were a dark, stormy gray and directly reflected the lust that he was sure she could see in his eyes.

"Ah, screw it," she muttered, and with a determined expression, she grabbed either side of his face and crashed her lips to his.

It wasn't a soft or a gentle kiss. It was a kiss filled with frustration, lust and a hell of a lot of heat. Though he was surprised by her bold action, he responded immediately, lips moving perfectly in sync with hers. He nipped gently at her bottom lip and swallowed her gasp, using this opportunity to dive into her mouth, tongue meeting hers.

Her hands eagerly latched in his hair, giving it a sharp tug. He growled against her mouth and she shifted slightly, wrapping her legs around his waist and flipping them both over so that she was now straddling him.

His hands gripped her hips, fingers caressing the bare skin on her lower back. Kat's own hands braced against Bellamy's shoulders for leverage as she wrenched her mouth from his, kissing and nipping down his jaw and onto his neck. His hips bucked as she gently bit his shoulder, her hands moving his away from her waist and threading them together before bringing them up above his head. Normally Bellamy liked to be in control, but he actually liked this aggressive side of her.

He stared up at the treetops as he let her have her way with him. Enjoying the feelings running through his hazy mind, he belatedly realized that Kat was muttering something into his neck. With a giant effort, he focused on what she was saying.

"Eight… nine… ten." With a flushed face and bright eyes, Kat sat up and looked down at him with a triumphant expression. "I win."

"What?" He asked in a bewildered, husky voice.

"I pinned you for ten seconds," she explained in a smug voice. "I win."

He narrowed his eyes. "You cheated!"

"No I didn't," she said, still using that smug voice. "One of my father's first rules was to know your opponent, assess them for any weaknesses. I just used that weakness against you. I don't like to lose."

"Kat!" They heard someone calling from somewhere in the woods.

Frowning, Kat made to get off Bellamy but he sat up and caught her waist with one hand, holding her in place. His other hand twisted tight around her ponytail.

"You may have won this round, Kitten, but don't think for one second that you've beaten me. You were just as affected as I was." He kissed her again, waiting for her to respond before pulling away, placing his lips close to her ear and whispering, "When you fall asleep, I'm going to be the last thing you think of, and I promise, you're going to be dreaming about me."

**Kat's POV**

"Kat!" The voice called again, definitely closer this time. She thought it sounded familiar.

Heart still pounding in her chest, both from recent activities and his whispered promise, she tried to climb off him before they were caught in this position. "Damn it you cocky piece of shit," Kat hissed. "Let go of me!"

He waited a moment longer as if to exert his own control on the situation, the intense expression still in his brown eyes. His hair was messy and wild from her hands running through them and Kat found herself wanting to do nothing more than kiss him again. She shied away from the thought – he looked way too hot and with her out of control hormones she needed to step on the breaks before something further happened.

Her hands actually twitched, as if her body wanted to reach out for him without her brain's permission. She had to clench them, her nails digging into her palms in an attempt to bring herself back under control.

A branch snapped somewhere nearby and Blake finally released her. She scrambled to her feet, fixing her shirt and Blake did the same, though slowly, acting as if he didn't have a care in the world.

Wells stepped into the clearing, eyes brightening with relief when he spotted her. "There you are, I've been looking for you-" His voice faded and suspicion shone on his face when he noticed Blake behind her. His eyes looked over their hair and clothes and he gave Kat a questioning glance. She worked hard to school her expression into what she hoped was an innocent one.

"Hey Wells. What's up?"

He gave his head a slight shake. "Monty's looking for you back at the drop ship."

_Monty?_ She thought in confusion. _Wasn't he the Asian one? I'm pretty sure I haven't said five words to that guy. What does he want with me?_

"Why?" She asked.

Wells shrugged. "Beats me. He just asked if someone could go find you."

"Okay," she said with a frown, collecting her staff and jacket. She felt Blake's gaze drilling a hole into the back of her head, but she left without even looking at him.

Her emotions were all over the place. Annoyance at Blake's heightened sense of self worth, anger at her body's reaction to him, and a strange mix of frustration and satisfaction at the fact that she had just made out with him.

Kissing him had been a test, to prove to herself that her dream had meant nothing. She had failed… miserably.

She hated that every time she looked at him she saw flashes of the dream from last night. She hated herself for wondering if his lips were as soft and addicting as she had imagined, hated the fact that she wanted to find out if those feelings that ran through her body last night would be the same in real life. And damn it. They were even better then she had imagined.

"So what was that all about back there?" Wells asked, bringing her back to the present.

She glanced over at him walking beside her, head down and hands deep in his pockets. "What do you mean?"

"Octavia was the one who told us where you were, though she practically yelled it at me she was so mad. Then I find you with Bellamy and there was all sorts of tension going on."

"Oh that," she said, hoping that her voice sounded casual. "Octavia asked me to teach her how to fight and Blake found out and he was pissed." Which was the truth. Kind of.

"Bellamy was being an asshole?" Wells asked, feigning surprise. "How very out of character."

Kat grinned at him, feeling her mood lighten. Guilt quickly followed as she remembered the last conversation they had. She sighed, mentally preparing herself. "Listen Wells, about the other day-"

"Forget it, Kat. You don't have to apologize to me."

"I don't?" She asked with a confused frown.

"No. What happened between you and Clarke isn't any of my business and I shouldn't have been trying to force you to talk to her."

She was still confused, but she let it go. _I don't think I'll ever understand how to do any of this social shit. _

When they made it back to camp, everyone was working hard to put up this wall. She was surprised and half impressed to see how far they'd come already. The threat of the grounders must be encouraging them to move quickly.

They both walked into the drop ship. "He's up there with Jasper," Wells said, pointing up the ladder.

Kat shifted, feeling uncomfortable. "Can't he meet me down here?"

"Someone has to stay up there with Jasper just in case. Clarke's resting for a few hours."

Why did his voice sound funny?

"Okay…" she said slowly, giving him an odd look. "I guess I'll just go see what he wants."

She climbed up the ladder and through the hatch, carefully climbing to her feet. "Hey Monty, what-" She broke off as she got a good look at the room. Her eyes flickered to Jasper, who was lying on his back, his eyes closed but small moans occasionally escaped from his mouth.

Finally, her eyes landed on Clarke fucking Griffin, who was _not_ resting, but leaning against the side of the ship, elbows resting on her knees. They both stared at each other for a heartbeat, surprise on Clarke's face and a sinking, horrible feeling settling in Kat's stomach.

She whirled back around to the hatch, just in time to see Wells' apologetic face before he slammed the door shut. Falling to her knees and pounding on the door with her fist, she yelled, "Wells Jaha, open this fucking door!"

"Sorry Kat, I'm not opening this door until you two work your shit out."

Panic filled her. "Seriously Wells, open this door right now and I won't kick your ass! What happened to not forcing me to talk to her?" There was no answer. "Wells?" She ran through every curse she knew, promised him all kinds of pain and torture, but he still didn't answer.

She sat back on her haunches, staring at the door. Her heart beat slowly, as if it too was in disbelief that Wells had managed to trick her. And damn if she didn't feel a little bit impressed at the fact that he had managed to lie to her so well.

Dread filling every cell in her body, she stood and turned to face the girl who had betrayed her four years ago and ended up ruining her entire life.

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**Author's Note: Dun, dun, DUNNNN! Oh damn. Major shit's about to go down. The next chapter is going to be HUGE.**

**What do you guys think happened between Kat and Clarke? Any predictions?**

**Also…. Kat and Bellamy. First official kiss, woohoo! What do you think? Did you guys like it? **

**If I get the same amount of reviews with this chapter, the next one will be posted earlier. You guys inspire me. So make sure you leave that review, I'm always interested to hear what everyone thinks!**


	7. The Past Revealed

Disclaimer: I do not own The 100, only my OC's

**Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed my story and special thanks to my betas, Dannylionthe1st and Randomness Is Bliss. I can't believe I'm almost at 100 reviews! I love all of you. Seriously. **

**TRIGGER WARNING: Some parts of this chapter are pretty dark, so if you're sensitive to any of that stuff, proceed cautiously. Okay, now that that's out of the way, read, enjoy and review! :)**

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Chapter 7: The Past Revealed

The sudden silence in the drop ship was deafening. It pressed down on Kat from all sides, surrounding her, suffocating her, until she felt like she couldn't breathe. Her heartbeat thundered through her body, pulsing loudly in her ears. Clenching her fists tightly, she struggled to get control over her emotions as she stared at Clarke.

Adrenaline was coursing through her veins and her muscles were tensed as if to flee. She wanted nothing more than to escape, and her eyes actually flicked throughout the room, though she knew her search was fruitless. Kat was used to silence, having just spent four years in a cell by herself, but this was different. It felt charged and thick, like she would have trouble walking through it.

Kat's eyes landed on Clarke's again, who was steadily gazing back at her, not even bothering to hide the emotions on her face - confusion, resignation and even a little bit of anger.

Taking a deep breath, Kat forced a smirk onto her face and said, "Hey Blondie. How's it hanging?"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Hello, Katerina. Let me guess. Wells took your life into his hands and tricked you into coming up here so we can work out our 'issues'."

Kat was taken aback at the bitterness in Clarke's voice. "Yeah. Probably because he figures this is one problem he can try and solve, since you won't even talk to him about what happened between the two of you."

"We are _not_ talking about that," Clarke snarled.

Kat's eyebrows rose in time with her hands. "I could care less, Blondie. Your drama is none of my business."

Clarke looked ashamed of her sudden outburst, but she didn't apologize.

At that moment Jasper gave a particularly loud moan, drawing both of the girls' attention. Kat studied his pale, pasty face and the sweat that was making his hair stick to his forehead. She could see his eyes flickering restlessly under their lids and knew that he was in a lot of pain.

"How's he doing?" Kat asked quietly. "Is he going to pull through?"

Clarke rand a hand across her face wearily. "I don't know. The red stuff on his chest is a poultice, but he hasn't woken up yet which is worrying. It could be infected, but I'm afraid to take the thing off to check. I don't have any medicines or supplies down here."

She sounded tired and frustrated, and Kat didn't know what to say. They both lapsed back into an uneasy silence.

Clarke glanced over at Kat, seemingly encouraged by the fact that Kat was talking to her in a semi-civil way. She quickly cast around for another topic. "What have you been doing? Why are you so sweaty?"

Kat bit her cheek to stop the nervous giggle that threatened to escape_. _Flashes of the hot make out session that she had just had with Bellamy flashed through her head. _Now is _not_ the time, Hale. Focus. _Feigning nonchalance, Kat took a few steps backwards and slid down the wall opposite Clarke, legs extended in front of her. "Octavia asked me to teach her how to fight."

"And you agreed to help her?" Clarke asked in surprise.

_I've never known you to care for or help anyone other than yourself._ Clarke's earlier words ran through Kat's mind, and she felt another rush of irritation as she looked at the judgmental blonde.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't need to explain my decisions to you, Blondie," Kat snapped.

Clarke's nostrils flared and Kat blinked in surprise as she suddenly surged to her feet. "Alright! That's enough. Stand up, Kat, and let's get this over with. What is it that you want from me? Do you want to hit me? Then fine, hit me and get it over with. But if not then tell me what the _fuck_ your problem is because I'm tired of you constantly snapping at me and treating me like shit."

Kat was in her face before she had even finished speaking. Her grey eyes flashed as she stared Clarke down, their faces only a couple inches away. In a dangerously low voice she growled, "You have some nerve, Clarke Griffin! All of this is your fault. It's your fault that I spent four years locked away in a cell, waiting until my execution date-"

"How is it my fault that you killed your father?" Clarke interrupted in disbelief.

Kat let out a strangled scream. "You lied to me! You broke your promise and opened your stupid, fat mouth-"

"Because it was the right thing to do! I was trying to help you-"

"I specifically asked you not to get involved! You didn't understand my situation and you can't even begin to comprehend the consequences of what you did-"

Clarke stepped back and gave her a sad, pitying look. "You were in danger Kat, and as your friend I couldn't just sit by and let it happen-"

Kat's anger was momentarily forgotten as she stared at Clarke in child-like bewilderment. "You considered us friends?"

"Of course," Clarke answered, brows furrowing in puzzlement. "Didn't you?"

"No," Kat said honestly. "Sure we had some of the same classes, and you sat with me at lunch sometimes, but we never hung out, or did anything that I would guess friends would do."

That sad expression was back in Clarke's eyes. "You were – are – a very difficult person to get to know, Kat, it wasn't for lack of trying. And we did hang out once. Don't you remember?"

Kat's lips tightened. Clarke was right. They did hang out once. She remembered That Night like it happened yesterday. She thought of nothing else except for That Night, examining and re-examining every moment that led up to it in a desperate attempt to determine if there was any possible way it could have been avoided.

There was only one explanation. Clarke should have kept her fucking mouth shut.

With the familiar anger and hatred clogging her throat, Kat looked away, letting the memories of the night that haunted her for the past four years flash through her mind.

_Four years ago…_

_Kat was sitting at one of the back tables in the rec room, her head in one hand while she picked at the table with the other. She shifted uncomfortably, hiding a wince at the pain in her ribs. Her father was working late tonight, for which she was very grateful. _

_She was on her own for dinner, so if she ate in like an hour, then cleaned up their apartment, she should be able to fall asleep before her father came home. Once a week her father worked the late shift, and she relished the hours that she would be able to spend without him around. Maybe she would even be able to squeeze in a bath…_

_Kat was startled out of her thoughts when someone sat down across from her. Clarke was smiling at her with a determined expression on her face. She murmured a hello and pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil, not saying another word._

_Kat's eyes flicked around the room, feeling the familiar mix of irritation and curiosity whenever she saw Clarke. The girl was constantly saying hello to her, smiling at her all the time and sitting with her during lunch. Sometimes she was joined by her friend Wells. But no matter how rude Kat was, she always came back. _

_She waited for Clarke to say something, but both of them seemed intent on ignoring each other. Stifling an annoyed sigh, Kat continued to look around the room, fidgeting slightly when Clarke was still silent. _

_Kat glanced at her. _What did she want anyway? Why was she always trying to butt in where she obviously wasn't wanted? Can't this girl take a hint? _Her eyes dropped to the_ _paper and frowned. _What's she doing? Drawing something?

_Curiosity burned within her, but she forced herself to cross her arms and look away. It was no use. Her eyes were drawn back to the paper only seconds later. "What are you drawing?" She finally asked._

_Clarke looked up at her, trying to hide the triumphant expression on her face with a smile. She slid the paper over so that Kat could see it. It wasn't finished yet, but what she had done so far was incredible. _

_Kat reached a hand out as if to touch it before she snatched it back. "Is that…"_

_Clarke nodded. "Yeah. It's the Earth, at least what I can remember from the view from our window."_

"_Why did you draw hands to make it look like they're holding it?"_

"_I don't know," Clarke said slowly, eyes unfocused as she stared down at the picture. "I was looking at it the other day, thinking about everything we learned about from our history lessons. This was home to every human being who ever was. Every king, queen, peasant, young people, old people, mothers, fathers, children, teachers, superstars, politicians, everyone! There have been wars and tragedy, murderers and rapists. We singlehandedly destroyed it. And yet, the Earth is the only known world that sustains life. Besides the Ark, there's nowhere else for us to go. Earth is our home. So I guess I drew the hands to remind me that when we do go back to the ground, we need to cherish it. We need to fix it, so that future generations can survive."_

_Kat stared at Clarke's fervent, excited expression with her mouth hanging open. It was the most Clarke had ever said to her at one time. Clarke looked up at Kat and flushed, seeming embarrassed. "It's beautiful," Kat said softly. "You're a really good artist."_

_Clarke smiled, pleased. "Thanks. The image was stuck in my head for a while now. I feel like I'm going crazy if I don't get it down on paper." She pulled the paper back, putting her head down and working on one of the hands. After a moment of silence she said, "So, what are you up to today, Kat?"_

_Kat, who was so engrossed in watching Clarke draw, just gave a noncommittal shrug. "Hmm? Nothing." She froze, realizing her mistake right away._

_Clarke looked up with a triumphant grin. "Good! Then you can come over to my place for dinner."_

"_What? Oh no, I just remembered I have – uh, something very important to do-"_

"_Oh yeah? Like what?"_

"_I have to, um – " She racked her brain, panicking when she drew a blank. "- Clean my bed?" _

_Wait, what?_

_Clarke quirked an eyebrow. "Seriously? You're so desperate to not hang out with me that you make up ridiculous excuses?"_

_Damn it. She had worked so hard to always have a ready excuse whenever Clarke wanted to hang out. She tried so hard to push her away. Kat couldn't have friends. She couldn't invite anyone over to her place, she couldn't have anyone meet her father. Nobody could ever find out her secret. It would be way too dangerous._

_But she was a 13-year-old girl with no friends. She desperately wanted to feel normal, to feel like she could fit in amongst her peers. She was tired of pushing Clarke away. Could she do it, just this once?_

_Feeling daring and taking a huge risk, Kat suddenly changed her mind. "Okay."_

_Clarke blinked in surprise. "Really?"_

"_Trying to get me to change my mind, Blondie?"_

_With wide eyes, Clarke frantically shook her head. "No! Definitely not." Kat was mystified to see a happy smile spread across her face. "This is so great!" She got up, gathered her things and looked at Kat with an expectant expression. "Well? Come on, then!"_

_Kat sighed. She really, really hoped she wasn't going to regret this. Clarke chattered at her the entire way to her place, trying to keep the conversation going even though Kat only gave one-word answers. Kat, on the other hand, fretted over her decision, trying to convince herself that this wasn't going to end terribly. As long as she was home before it got too late, then she should be fine…right?_

"_Here we are," Clarke said brightly stopping before an ordinary door. Their place was basically the same as the one Kat and her father lived in, except there were more personal touches, such as the pictures that Clarke had drawn when she was younger. Kat knew that both of Clarke's parents were pretty important on the Ark, and even though she knew it wasn't possible, she kind of expected something more then what she had. "Mom?" Clarke called out, stepping inside._

_Kat had a brief moment of panic. For some reason she hadn't thought that Clarke's parents might be home. Damn it, Dr. Griffin was her doctor, what if she asked Kat a bunch of questions and she got caught in a lie? _One, two, three, four, five… Suck it up, Hale,_ she thought to herself, closing her eyes for a brief moment to gather her thoughts. _Six, seven, eight, nine, ten… Everything's going to be fine. Just stick to the script.

_Kat opened her eyes just as Clarke's mom came into the room, wiping her hands on a towel. "Hey Clarke," she greeted with a smile, dropping a kiss on top of her daughter's head before turning to Kat. "Katerina! What a pleasant surprise, it's so good to see you."_

"_Hi, Dr. Griffin," Kat said with a polite smile. _

"_Please, call me Abby," Clarke's mom insisted. "How's your wrist doing?"_

_Kat unconsciously rubbed her right wrist, hiding a grimace. Dr. Griffin asked one question and Kat was already fighting the urge to flee. "It's much better, thanks to you."_

"_That's good," she said, taking out cups and beginning to set their small table. "You know, I've never met another child who's as accident prone as you are."_

_Kat's eyes narrowed, searching the older woman's face quickly. Only when she was satisfied that it was nothing more than a casual statement did she respond. "Yes. My father calls me a klutz," she said with a chuckle._

"_How did you break your wrist again?"_

_Dr. Griffin's question had that same casual tone to it, but in Kat's opinion her eyes knew too much; she was definitely fishing for information. Kat's smile became a bit fixed as she held eye contact with the woman and lied directly to her face. "It was stupid, really. I woke up one morning and when I tried to get out of bed I tripped over my boots and fell, landing on my wrist."_

"_Yes," Dr. Griffin said slowly, a speculative look in her eye. "Now I remember."_

_Kat counted a full five seconds in which they both stared at each other. Thankfully, they were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. A tall man with wide shoulders stepped inside. He had straight, brown hair that flopped over his forehead and soft blue eyes. His eyes fell on Clarke and Dr. Griffin and an adoring smile lit his face up._

"_Hello. How're my girls doing today?" He asked, putting down the bag he was holding in his hands. Placing a hand on Dr. Griffin's chin, he placed a kiss on her lips and ruffled Clarke's hair._

"_Dad," she complained, smacking his hand away, though she couldn't hide the smile on her face._

_The man's warm blue eyes fell onto Kat. "Well, who do we have here?"_

_Kat blinked and abruptly shut her mouth, which had been hanging open in shock. Never before had she witnessed a scene like this. They actually acted like they were a family. Or what she imagined a real family would act like, anyway._

"_Oh! Dad, this is Kat Hale from class. Kat this is my dad."_

_His eyebrows rose as he quickly glanced at Clarke. "Kat! Well, it's very nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you."_

_Kat's face crumpled into a frown. "You have?"_

_Clarke shot her dad a warning glare. _

"_Uhh," He looked at Clarke, confused, before smiling back at her. "No, not really. I must have been thinking of someone else."_

"_Oh. Well, it's nice to meet you Mr. Griffin."_

"_Please, call me Jake." Kat smiled and nodded, but knew that she never would. It seemed way too personal. He turned to his daughter and told her, "Mom and I will finish making dinner, why don't you show Kat your room?"_

"_Sure," Clarke said, looking at Kat with a bright smile. Clarke grabbed her hand and dragged her in the direction of her room._

_Kat did her best to keep her face neutral as she looked around. More of Clarke's drawings were plastered around the little room and Kat could practically feel the love that permeated every inch of their apartment. She tuned out as Clarke chattered on and showed her all the things that she owned. The furniture was the same as in Kat's room – there was a bed, dresser, and a desk – but it somehow seemed almost unrecognizable. _

_Eventually, Clarke's mom called them to the table for dinner. Kat shoved her hands in her pockets, following behind Clarke. She stopped dead in the doorway, watching the scene in front of her in amazement._

_Clarke took the plates from her mother's hands, and put them on the table while her father placed the silverware. She didn't miss the kiss that Jake stole from his wife when she brought out the food. It served as a distraction for him to take the food and swing it right passed Kat so that she could smell it._

_Kat's stomach twisted with hunger. She didn't have to taste the food to know it was delicious. She had never eaten anything that smelled so good._

_And then all of a sudden Kat wondered what the hell she was doing here. She didn't belong in the same room as this loving, happy family – the jealousy burning through her was proof of that. What was the point of sitting through this?_

"_I should go," Kat blurted out, causing the other three to turn and look at her in surprise. "I have some things to get done before my dad gets off work-"_

"_No!" Clarke protested coming over to her with an upset look on her face. "You can't go now, we're about to have dinner."_

"_Yeah, but-"_

"_Just stay for dinner and then you can go home, okay?" Clarke pleaded with her, using those wide blue eyes to their full effect. "Please?"_

_Kat's shoulders slumped. "Alright."_

_Pleased, Clarke put an arm over Kat's shoulder and guided her back to the table, where they all sat down._

_Led by the hunger in her stomach, Kat forgot her manners and quickly filled her plate with food, stuffing a spoon full in her mouth before realizing what she had done. Sheepishly, she looked up to see three sets of curious yet amused eyes looking back at her. _

"_Sorry," she swallowed, gently putting down her fork._

"_It's okay, Kat," Dr. Griffin smiled. "Help yourself."_

_With a shrug, Kat dug right in, only vaguely listening to the small talk of the family sitting next to her. They talked about their days, things that made them laugh or feel annoyed, and the only thing that Kat could think of was that someone was playing a sick joke on her. It was like some alternate universe where nothing went wrong and everyone was happy._

_Somehow, the conversation shifted from work and classes to funny stories about Clarke from when she was growing up._

_Dr. Griffin was talking in an animated voice as she delivered the story. "Clarke was probably around three years old at the time, and we were playing a game about what sound an animal makes. My mother used to play this with me and her mother before that – it's sort of become a tradition to keep our children educated. Anyway, I asked her, 'what noise does a cow make?' And she said, 'Moo.'" A smiled begins to spread across Dr. Griffin's face. "Then she turns to me with a serious face on and asks, 'What noise does mommy make?' I was beyond curious to hear her answer and asked, 'I don't know Clarke, what noise does mommy make?' Clarke looks a the floor, shakes her head and whispers, 'Shoot, shoot, shoot.'"_

_Kat let out a surprised laugh as she saw Clarke's face turn red. _

_Mr. Griffin chuckled, "And that was the last time we ever said any kind of a curse in front of our daughter."_

_Kat's laughter abruptly cut off at three sudden sharp knocks on the door. She instantly froze, feeling like a bucket of ice cold water had been dumped over her head. Her eyes were wide, her face was pale and she couldn't seem to breathe. Oh my god. She was so dead. _

_The Griffin family shared a look of surprise and confusion. "Who could that be?" Dr. Griffin asked._

_Before she could get up and answer the door, three more loud knocks resounded throughout the room. "This is Commander Hale. Open the door!"_

_Three pairs of eyes turned to face her and Kat clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms. She tried to force her face into a blank expression as her brain raced to figure some way out of this situation. The only thing that ran through her mind was that she had to attempt to keep him calm. _

_How did he even know she was here?_

_Mr. Griffin quickly got up to open the door and in stepped a tall, intimidating man. He was an inch or two taller than Clarke's father, with black, receding hair and cold blue eyes. Those eyes quickly focused on her and she knew she was done for. _

"_Commander Hale, what a surprise," Mr. Griffin said, stepping back to let him in. "Is there something we can do for you?"_

_Her father stared at Mr. Griffin for a moment, and Kat was surprised to see that he didn't immediately back down. Kat knew that there were very few people who could withstand the force of her father's gaze. "Yes," Her father spoke, his toneless voice sending a shiver of fear through her. "I've come for my daughter."_

_Dr. Griffin stood up now. "Commander, we're in the middle of dinner, if it's okay with you, can Kat finish eating? We'll bring her back right after-"_

"_Katerina," Her father interrupted, acting as if Dr. Griffin hadn't even spoken. "We're leaving."_

_Dread filled her, but she knew she had to leave. If not for her sake, then for the sake of the Griffin family. Taking a breath and forcing what she hoped was a reassuring smile, Kat stood up. "Yes father." She walked over to him on shaky legs, not even flinching when he clamped a large hand on her shoulder in a painful grip. She turned to the Griffin family, who were watching with wide, worried eyes. "Thank you very much for dinner. I'll see you in class tomorrow, Clarke."_

_Clarke gave her an uncertain smile and murmured a goodbye._

_Kat winced as he forcibly turned her around and began pushing her towards the door. _

_Her heart jumped in her throat as Mr. Griffin reached out and put a hand on her father's arm. "Hey man, loosen up your grip, can't you see you're hurting her?"_

"_My daughter's well-being is no concern of yours, Mr. Griffin," the Commander said in a cool voice, his grip tightening on her shoulder._

_Kat saw Clarke's dad frown and hurried to intervene before things spun out of control. "I'm fine, Mr. Griffin. Let's go, father." _

_She kept walking, hoping he would follow her. After a moment he shrugged off Mr. Griffin's arm and followed her out. He didn't say a word the entire way back to their apartment, and Kat tried desperately not to think about what was going to happen when they got there. She could almost feel the cold fury radiating off of him._

_Sure enough, when they got to their apartment, her father threw the door open so hard it bounced off the wall. He shoved her into the room, causing her to stumble and fall, landing hard on her hands and knees. She quickly scrambled to her feet and turned around, arms held out to the side. "Father, I-"_

"_Shut up, you stupid little bitch," Her father interrupted in his calm, cold voice. "What the fuck were you doing?"_

"_I was only eating dinner, Clarke is one of the girls in my class and she invited me over-"_

"_You know the rules, Katerina. You get one hour of free time after classes and then you're expected to be back here for the rest of the night in order to work on your studies."_

"_I know, father." Kat heard the pleading note to her voice, and she hated it. "I just wanted to hang out with someone my own age for once, to try and feel normal-"_

"_Do I not give you enough?" He asked in a deadly voice. "I feed you, I clothe you, I give you a bed to sleep in at night. Is that not enough for you?"_

"_I'm sorry, but-"_

"_You're just like your stupid whore of a mother." Kat's jaw clenched hard. "You don't listen to simple instructions, no matter how many times you have to pay the consequences! I raised you to be better than that. Even your mother, weak as she was-"_

"_Shut up about my mother!" Kat shouted, taking a step forward. "She was a better person than you will ever be-"_

_Kat didn't even see it coming. One second he was standing there, looking furious at her interruption and the next his right hand was backhanding her hard across the face, the sound loud in the suddenly quiet room. Kat's head snapped to the side and she stood there, processing what had just happened in shock. Her hand rose to cover her cheek. He had just hit her in the face. It was an unspoken rule that he never went after her face – it would raise way too many questions._

_A small noise, almost like a combination between a whimper and a gasp echoed throughout the room. Kat's head snapped up to see that the front door hadn't closed all the way. From the three-inch gap, Kat locked eyes with Clarke, who was looking at her, horrified. _

_Her father took a step to the door and Clarke quickly spun on her heel and ran. His head swung around to look at her and Kat shrunk back, terrified of the amount of hatred in his gaze. Stammering she said, "I – I can fix this, she'll listen to me – just don't move… I'll be right back."_

_Without waiting for a response she dashed out the door, running through the hallways until she caught sight of Clarke's blonde braid in front of her. Clarke gasped as Kat grabbed hold of her elbow, but didn't say a word as she was dragged to the abandoned storage closet, the same place where they had first met all those years ago._

_Clarke wrenched away from her as soon as the door was shut and Kat was shocked to see tears swimming in her blue eyes. "Oh my god, makes so much sense now! Why you don't hang out with anyone, why you push everyone away, why you're always hurt! He's been hitting you this whole time, hasn't he?" With said eyes, Clarke reached out a hand and gently touched the bright red mark on Kat's face. "Come on, come with me right now, we'll go to my mom, she'll know what to do. She'll talk to Chancellor Jaha and they'll do something about your dad-"_

"_No!" Kat shouted, flinching away from her hand. "You don't understand, Clarke. Listen to me. You can't tell anyone, okay?"_

"_Don't be ridiculous Kat, we need to tell someone so you can be safe-"_

"_No, I'll never be safe! He'll find out somehow, he always does. You don't know how many people he has in his pocket and you'll just make things worse!"_

"_I don't understand," Clarke whispered softly._

"_No," Kat agreed, eyes unflinching. "You don't." There was a moment of silence where they both stared at each other – one heartbroken and one just broken. "If you want me to be safe," Kat tried again, keeping her voice calm and even. "You have to _promise_ me that you won't tell anyone. Not your mom, not your dad, and especially not Chancellor Jaha."_

_For a moment, it looked like Clarke was going to protest, but thankfully she just nodded. "Okay," she murmured softly. "I promise."_

"_Swear it on your life," Kat insisted, hands reaching out to grip Clarke's shoulders. "Swear it on my life."_

"_I swear it."_

_Kat closed her eyes in relief. "Thank you." Dropping her hands, Kat took a step back. "You should go. I have to get back."_

_Clarke hesitated. "Is he going to hurt you again?"_

_Kat put on a brave smile. "No," she lied. _

_She was surprised when Clarke pulled her into a tight hug. "Be safe," she whispered. "And put some ice on your cheek so it doesn't swell." She went for the door and hesitated, handing Kat a piece of paper she didn't even realize that Clarke had been holding. "Here. I was coming to give you this. I wanted you to have it." _

_Before Kat could respond, Clarke shoved the paper in her hands and was gone. Kat stared at the door, unable to even name the emotions swirling inside her. She felt so… tired. Tired of tiptoeing around her father, tired of being afraid to say the wrong thing and upset him, and most of all tired of always being in pain. She was just plain tired. _

_A glance down at the paper showed the drawing that Clarke had made of Earth. It was still beautiful, even in the ugliness of the situation she found herself in. Carefully, Kat folded it and put it in her pocket. She had never gotten a present before, not since her mother died._

_Her throat burned and along with it came the sting of unshed tears. She thought about advice that her mother had given her the first time her father had ever hit her. She was five. After gathering a sobbing Kat in her arms, her mother rocked her back and forth, murmuring softly in her ear. "Shhhh, baby girl, it's okay. Don't cry. Whatever this life gives you, even if it hurts sometimes, just be strong. Put on a brave face and act like you're okay. Remember strong walls shake, but they never collapse." _

_Taking a deep breath, Kat blinked her tears back, before squaring her shoulders. Suck it up, Hale._

_She walked back through the hallways of the Ark feeling like everything had changed. She was almost amazed that everyone else was going about their daily lives, not knowing what punishment her father had in store for her this time. _

"_Father?" She called when she opened the door and stepped into their apartment, making sure the door was shut properly behind her this time. _

_A hand clamped onto her ponytail, causing her to yelp in both surprise and pain. "You have ruined everything," her father seethed, bringing her face close to his. _

"_But father, I convinced her not to say anything! She promised she wouldn't-"_

_Kat whimpered as he tightened his grip. "Stupid, naïve girl," he growled. He paused for a moment. "You better be right, or I swear, Katerina Hale, that I will make you wish you had never been born!"_

_Her father began dragging her to the corner of the room and she panicked, thrashing in order to escape his grip. "No father, please, not the closet! I'll do anything, just please-"_

"_Shut up," he snarled, shaking her roughly. "A Hale never begs. They accept their punishments without complaint." With one hand he opened the closet door and with the other he tossed her inside. _

_She crashed through the few spare shirts and jackets that occupied the closet and flew into the opposite wall, knocking the wind out of her. Clutching her already painful ribs, she rushed the door but was too slow. Her father slammed it shut, and Kat heard the sound of the chair being put against the doorknob. _

"_Father!" She yelled, pounding on the door. "Please let me out!" _

_She bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling as she heard the door to their apartment slam shut. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head against the door trying to take deep, calming breaths. Already she felt the cold sweat breaking out on her skin, and she imagined the walls of the small closet shrinking closer and closer to her until she felt like she couldn't breathe._

_Her eyes snapped open, but it made no difference. The closet was so dark she couldn't even see the door in front of her face. Suddenly feeling dizzy, Kat slowly sunk to the floor, certain her unsteady legs wouldn't be able to support her. Her hands trailed down the door, feeling the multiple gouge marks from when she had tried to claw her way out when she was little. _

_She curled in on herself, eyes closed, as she tried to keep her panic at bay. What had she ever done to deserve this life? What was the point anymore? The one time she tried to be a normal kid and it backfired on her in the worst way possible. She missed her mom more than ever. She was the one and only person who could understand what she was going through. _

_Kat wasn't sure how long her father was gone for – it could have been thirty minutes, it could have been three hours. She had lapsed into some kind of dazed state, and was only able to blink in confusion when the closet door was thrown open, light flooding into the room. _

_She flinched back as a hand reached in and grabbed her, pulling her out of the closet and into the main living area. _

_Right away she knew something was wrong; she almost gagged at the strong smell of moonshine on his breath. "Father?" She asked uncertainly, yanking her hand back and staring at him. His normally slicked back hair was in disarray and his normally immaculate clothes were rumpled. _

_A thrill of fear ran through her when she saw that he had reached into his pocket and pulled out his switchblade. When he was sober, he always knew when to stop, never going too far. But now, seeing how completely trashed he was… she wasn't sure she was going to survive this. He was bigger than her, stronger, and faster. She unconsciously tensed, shifting her weight to the balls of her feet. _

_He flicked the switchblade open. "Your little friend lied to you, Katerina. Ashton overheard Thelonious and Abby mention my name." He started circling her slowly, flicking the switchblade open and closed. "Which means that at any time, my own men are going to come knocking down my door, and I'm going to be floated."_

"_I can tell them that Dr. Griffin is lying." Kat to reason with him one more time. "They'll believe me, I'm your daughter-"_

"_You are no daughter of mine!" He screamed, spit flying from his lips. His eyes were wide and deranged. "When your mother got pregnant, I tried to convince her to get rid of you. I knew that you would bring me nothing but trouble and I was right. You've been a pain in my ass since the day you were born!"_

_A near hysterical laugh burst from Kat's lips. She felt herself snap and couldn't have contained the words spewing out of her mouth even if she wanted to. "I tried so hard to be the daughter that you wanted, the daughter that you expected me to be! I put up with your training sessions and I learned how to fight. I followed your stupid, ridiculous rules. I didn't make any friends because I was afraid they would find out what a cold, miserable bastard you are. You beat me, you abused me, you cut me and you broke my bones! So if you want to kill me, then go ahead and try! At least I won't have to deal with you ever again."_

_His lip curled as he looked at her, and he seemed almost surprised at her outburst. He flicked the switchblade open one last time and she sunk into a defensive crouch, bringing her fists up by her face. Her father let out a disbelieving laugh. "What do you think you're doing? I may have been the one to teach you how to fight, but if you think you can beat me then you-"_

_Ignoring him, Kat faked a punch at his shoulder, which he swiftly dodged, before aiming a kick at the hand holding the switchblade, hoping to get him to drop it. He easily blocked it with his forearm as well as the next punch she threw. Shoving her fist to the side, he punched her in the jaw, causing her to stumble back several steps. _

_She blocked his next jab, ducked under the hand swinging the knife and tried kicking again, sucking in a pained breath when he landed a punch to her gut. _

_When she looked up, her father raised his eyebrows, mocking her. "You're going to have to do better than that, _daughter_."_

_With a frustrated snarl, Kat attacked again. She managed to land a punch to his side, though it didn't seem to faze him one bit. He blocked all her next attempts and Kat was rewarded for her efforts with a gash on her forearm. Time seemed to slow down after that. She was tired and her limbs felt heavy – her movements became slower and sloppier. Her father was able to land several more cuts on various parts of her body._

_Kat never gave up though. She knew her father, knew the way he fought and due to the moonshine in his system, he seemed slower and clumsier then he usually did. _

_She moved to dodge a slash at her face but wasn't quick enough. She felt a sharp pain on the side of her left eye and was momentarily blinded as she tried to blink away blood. A flash of silver caught her eye and Kat barely managed to catch his wrist as he brought the knife down once again. They grappled for a moment both trying to gain control of the situation. She struggled to hold the knife at bay, but he sneered at her before sharply bringing his head down against her face. _

_She cried out as she heard her nose break and felt warm blood running down into her mouth. Her attention wavered for one second and that was all he needed to break through her defense and plunge the switchblade into her stomach. _

_Kat gaped up at her father as he let go, leaving the knife buried inside her. She couldn't seem to comprehend the triumphant expression in his eyes._

_Looking down, her hands fluttered around the knife and they came away slick with blood. Feeling lightheaded, her knees buckled and she fell to the floor, gasping up at the ceiling. She didn't even notice when her father stomped on her just healed wrist, breaking it once more. She tried to cough out a scream, but all it did was send another searing pain through her stomach, making her head pound in time with her rapidly slowing heartbeat._

_She must have blacked out for a few second, because when she came to, her father's blurry face bent into her line of vision. "You lose, Katerina," he whispered. "Just like your mother did."_

_A surge of unbelievable hatred surged through her and her vision turned red, though admittedly it could have been because of the blood still dripping into her eyes. Her unbroken hand curled into a fist and faster then she thought possible given the current state of her body, she punched him right in the nuts. _

_With a pained groan, her father doubled over. Gritting her teeth, she let out an agonized scream as she pulled the switchblade out of her stomach, flipped it over in her hand, and drove it straight through his heart._

_His eyes widened, staring down at her in disbelief, before he fell backwards. Giving herself a few moments to catch her breath, Kat pulled herself into a semi-sitting position, seeing gray spots as she dragged herself over to her father's side. She readjusted her grip on the now slippery knife and stared down at his terrified eyes. He seemed to be trying to say something but Kat could give two shits about what he wanted. With a snarl, Kat raised her arm and stabbed him again and again, imagining every beating that he had given her, every minute that she spent in that disgusting closet. _

_Sweat, blood, and tears ran down her face and she would have liked to say she spaced out, but she knew exactly what she was doing as she watched the light fade from his eyes. She stabbed her father thirteen times, one for every miserable year that she had been alive. "You lose, father," she whispered brokenly._

_Instead of dropping the switchblade, she clutched it even tighter. She slowly dragged her body backwards, leaving a trail of blood in her wake as she tried to put some distance between them. Slumped against the wall, Kat curled her fractured wrist around the stab wound in her stomach, clutching the switchblade in her other hand. _

_She blinked as the room tilted, and Kat knew she was losing too much blood too quickly. She could feel it seeping out of her but she couldn't bring herself to care. She was dying and she knew it. Grimacing, she awkwardly pulled out Clarke's drawing and unfolded it, hating the bloodstains she left on it. She set it next to her, staring down at it so she could avoid looking at the death surrounding her._

_Briefly she wondered if there was a heaven and a hell. She wished she could see her mother after she died, but her mother was almost certainly in heaven and she…. She was going to hell. _

_She must have passed out again because she was startled awake when the door was being forcibly opened. Everything sounded fuzzy and muffled. _

_She squinted at the people standing in the doorway and saw Councilman Kane, Chancellor Jaha, Officer Ashton and two other guards standing there looking between her and the body on the floor in horror. Everyone started talking and moving at once. Officer Ashton strode across the room wrenching her switchblade out of her hand. She couldn't even muster up a proper cry of pain – all the came out was a muffled groan. _

_At the sound, none other than Dr. Griffin pushed through the crowd of men, rushing over to her with a pale and terrified face. She was saying something to her, trying to get her to answer questions, but the words didn't make sense to her. Reaching with her unbroken hand, she patted Dr. Griffin's hand, not noticing the blood she smeared onto the other woman. With what she hoped was a reassuring smile, she murmured, "…s'okay, doc. Just- just let me die. I'm…I'm okay."_

_Dr. Griffin frantically shook her head and said something else, but Kat didn't notice. Thankfully, finally, the darkness came to claim her._

Present Day

"You lied to me Clarke," Kat said to her, unable to hide the hurt and the pain in her voice. "You betrayed me and it ruined everything."

Clarke eyes filled with tears. "I wasn't going to say anything, Kat, I really wasn't. But my mom knew something was wrong and she wouldn't let me leave until I told her. She said – she said she knew that something like this had been going on, but she hadn't been able to prove it. You always came in with these injuries but you always had an excuse as to how you got them. I tried to stop her from going to Jaha, but she convinced me it was the right thing to do. We had to stop him from hurting you, Kat."

"Yeah, but it wasn't the right thing to do! I told you to stay out of it and not tell anyone, but you did it anyway. Do you know how that feels? My father knew you told your mom, one of his officers overheard your mom talking to Jaha! He got piss drunk and tried to kill me, Clarke. Does that sound like you stopped him from hurting me?"

Clarke looked horrified. "I – I actually do know how that feels," she whispered, eyes unfocusing for a moment. "And you can't believe how sorry I am that all it got you was more pain. But I'm not going to apologize for doing the right thing," she said firmly, jaw set as she focused on Kat once more. "My mother is a healer and at heart, so am I. You put me in a terrible position that night. How could I stand by with a happy and clear conscience, knowing that you were in danger? That your father could be hurting you every day? I want to help people, Kat. I try to save them from being in pain and that is what we tried to do for you."

"I almost died," Kat repeated stubbornly. "I spent four years in a cell waiting to die."

Clarke rubbed a weary hand over her face, moving back to slide down against the wall again. She looked up at Kat with questioning eyes. "What would you have done, Kat? What would you have done if you were put in the same position I was? Would you have stood by while someone you knew was constantly being hurt, both mentally and physically?" Kat hesitated, unsure. "I don't think you would have. You may be kind of selfish, but look what you did for Wells the other night. You knew he was in trouble, maybe even in pain, and you rushed to his defense, taking on three guys and winning. Could you have stood by and just watched?"

Kat didn't know what to think or feel anymore. Although she hated to admit it, she could see Clarke's point of view, and how she actually seemed genuinely sorry for how things turned out. With a tired sigh, she slid down the wall next to Clarke. "I hated you for four _long_ years."

Clarke nodded as if expecting that. "I know. Do you think… do you think you could ever forgive me?"

"You know, surprisingly I'm not a very forgiving person." Clarke snorted at that. "I don't know how to move past this."

"Do you think we can start over?"

"No," Kat said honestly. "My past is part of who I am. That Night was a huge turning point for me, though whether it's a good or bad one I'm still not sure. To start over would mean to forget about it completely and that's not possible." A wry smile made its way across her face. "Plus, I still think you're a judgmental, stubborn, pretentious bitch whose need to do the right thing is really fucking annoying."

Clarke choked out a laugh. "I guess I deserved that."

"I'm not saying we'll be friends, or anything like that, but the best I can promise is that I'll try to hate you less. Maybe… listen to what you say instead of automatically disagreeing with you."

"I'd like that," Clarke said softly. She hesitated for a moment, then reached both arms up and leaned towards Kat.

Kat looked at her with wide eyes, pressing a hand against Clarke's face and stiff-arming her. "Whoa there, Blondie, what do you think you're doing? Do I look like the hugging type?"

Clarke rolled her eyes, smacking Kat's hand away. "Fine, Hale, have it your way." It was silent for a moment before she spoke again in a hard voice. "You know, the Ark sent us here to die because we're expendable and their running out of oxygen. But I think this could be our second chance at life, to live the way that we want to, not the way that we're expected to."

"That sounds dangerously close to 'whatever the hell we want'."

Clarke made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat. "Absolutely not. That's going to backfire sooner or later. Maybe we need new rules, ones that aren't so strict and unyielding."

_Like the one where a person is floated for any crime no matter how big or small?_ "I heard about what happened to your father, Clarke," Kat said honestly. "I liked him, he was nice to me."

"Thanks." Kat detected a mixture of sadness and bitterness in her voice, which brought up a new thought.

"Look," Kat began awkwardly. "I don't presume to know what happened between you and Wells or what your friendship is like, but he kind of seems like he just lost his best friend." She blinked at the appropriateness of that phrase. She chuckled nervously. "Which, I guess he has. Just… give him a chance to explain. Don't be so hard on him."

"You don't know anything-" Clarke began with a snarl, but Kat cut her off with a pointed look and a raised eyebrow.

"You mean I don't know what it's like to be so mad at someone that everything they say annoys the shit out of you? Where it hurts to look at them because of the pain and fury that you feel? In this situation I'm you and you're Wells. I didn't really have a choice to let you explain, but you did, and we've reached some sort of understanding."

Clarke nodded once. "I'll think about it."

Kat shrugged. She tried. Feeling fidgety, she asked, "Do you think he'll let us out now? I know we're not fighting anymore but I'm afraid if we don't stop spending so much time together so soon, all this will be for nothing."

Clarke gave a tired smile. "I don't know. Probably."

With a grunt, Kat dragged herself over to the hatch and banged on it once more. "Wells! We worked out our shit, open the damn door."

A moment of silence, and then – "Clarke?"

"Yeah," she called back, the bitterness back in her voice. "We're all good."

The hatch door opened and Kat gave Clarke one last look. "Well… see you around, Blondie." Clarke gave her another small smile and Kat headed down the ladder

Wells was standing at the bottom, the look on his face one of determination, resignation and a little hint of terror. Good. He should be scared.

"You lied to me." He nodded apprehensively. "You tricked me and locked me in a room with a person that I hated." He nodded again. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Clarke won't listen to me long enough to talk about our own problems. I could try to fix yours though, so I did."

"It was risky," she stated. She didn't couldn't even muster up the energy to be mad at him. "I'm a little impressed that you came up with the plan all on your own, though, it was clever."

He started to grin, pleased with himself, and she suddenly found the little bit of anger that had been hiding. Her fist shot out and she punched him hard on the shoulder, giving him a dead arm. "Ow, god, what the hell was that for?!"

"_That_ was for tricking me. Even though I was slightly impressed, it doesn't mean that I agree with what you did. Don't ever do that to me again, or next time, I won't be so lenient. Got it?"

He nodded with a pained grimace.

Satisfied, Kat gave a tired sigh and trudged out of the drop ship, feeling as if she had gotten beat up all over again. A nap. She really, really needed a nap.

* * *

**Author's Note: So? What did you think? I was SO nervous when writing this one, but I'm actually kind of proud of it and I really hope you guys liked it. **

**Alright. So next Wednesday I'm leaving for a ten day vacation and I won't be able to write or post during that time :(**** That's why I wanted to get this chapter out to you as quickly as possible so I wouldn't feel bad for leaving you guys with that horrible cliffhanger! **

**I'll have my phone with me, and will be able to read your wonderful comments, so please leave a review and tell me what you thought. I really want to hear your feedback on this chapter – I hope I did Clarke and Kat's background justice. **

**On a completely different note, I started writing a new story! *****does happy dance***** It's a Stiles/OC fic called Relight My Fire, so if there are any Teen Wolf fans out there, be sure to give it a read. I would love to know what you guys think about it!**

**Reviews are my payment and motivation :)**** Your continued support means so much!**


	8. What Are Friends For?

Disclaimer: I do not own The 100

**Authors Note: I'M BACK! But more importantly, Bellamy's back! I know most of you missed him last chapter. Thank you to everyone who reviewed/faved/followed my story. It was awesome getting those emails while I was on vacation. **

**Special thanks to my betas, Dannylionthe1st and Randomness Is Bliss. Hope you like this next chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 8: What Are Friends For?

Kat was really fucking tired. All she wanted to do was get more than three hours of sleep, but apparently, that just wasn't possible for her.

She threw a glare over at the drop ship where she knew Clarke was still tending to Jasper. This was all Clarke's fault. Their talk forced Kat to think about a night that she tried to bury for the past four years and now it was messing with her head. Her familiar nightmares were starting up again and she knew that she wouldn't be able to get any sleep.

Wells walked by towards the drop ship, and Kat narrowed her eyes, blaming him too. Why did he have to get involved in her business? Why couldn't he just leave it alone? A small part of her mind pointed out that he was just trying to help, but she pushed it away angrily.

She felt raw. Exposed. Vulnerable. And she did not like it one bit. Jasper's increasingly painful moans were not helping at all.

Leaning back against one of the legs to her tent, she closed her eyes and tried to think about something else.

An image of her and Blake from yesterday popped into her head and her eyes snapped open, face warm. She imagined she could still feel his hands on her waist, his lips firm and insistent-

She cut herself off with a shake of her head. She hadn't given much thought to whatever it was between her and Blake and she definitely wasn't going to start when she was feeling like this.

Did she like what they did yesterday? Yes. Did she want it to continue? She didn't know. Her eyes found him where he was standing and talking with a bunch of his followers. She liked the way his bicep muscles bulged when his arms were crossed. She liked his broad shoulders, his dark, messy hair and even the smattering of freckles across his nose.

Blake turned to talk to the person next to him, giving her a nice view of his ass. And damn it, she even liked his ass.

She grudgingly admitted that he was very good-looking. But he knew it, the smug bastard. She sighed, looking away. If only there was some way to appreciate his body without having to deal with the crap that comes out every time he opens his mouth.

A flicker of movement caught her eye and she watched with mild amusement as Octavia stormed out of the drop ship and strode over to Bellamy's tent, which he had just entered with Murphy at his heels.

Kat was rapidly becoming familiar with the pissed off and annoyed expression that Octavia wore on her face. That girl displayed so many different moods and emotions that Kat couldn't even keep up.

Kat sat up, her muscles tensing as Jasper suddenly screamed, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up. Octavia burst out of Blake's tent, running back to the drop ship. Blake followed after her, his face solemn.

Dear god. What was Clarke doing to him in there?

Jasper fell silent and Kat looked around at the rest of the camp. People had paused whatever they were doing and looked at the drop ship. Their faces ranged from sympathetic, annoyed, angry, pitying and even scared. Unfortunately, most looked annoyed.

Muttering quickly broke out through the camp when Jasper fell silent.

Kat didn't know Jasper very well, but she really, really hoped he pulls through. Not only would it be a miracle, but the camp was getting restless and irritated with Jasper's moaning.

Blake exited the drop ship not two minutes later, pausing for a moment to look around. His gaze landed on her and she climbed to her feet as he headed her way. She shoved her hands in her pockets as he stopped in front of her.

"A couple of us are going hunting," he said in way of greeting. "You want in?"

Kat blinked in surprise. "Why?" She blurted out.

"The meat from the panther is running low and we need to eat-"

"No, I mean why are you inviting me? We don't even like each other."

"Now, that's not true," he drawled, lips twisting up into a half-smirk. His eyes took on a teasing glint as they slowly made their way down her body and then back up, leaving a fiery path in their wake. "I like parts of you."

Kat rolled her eyes. "Hilarious, Blake. Be serious."

He shrugged. "You know how to fight and you can sort of hit a target if I remember correctly. None of us actually know how to hunt so I'm bringing a couple of different people along. Are you in or not?"

"I guess so. I've got nothing else to do."

"Good. Come on then."

Kat jogged to keep up with him as he strode off into the woods. "How's Jasper?" She asked, watching closely for his reaction.

His face tightened and his eyes grew hard. "The same. Maybe worse. There's an infection in the wound now and Clarke's scrambling to find something to help. I don't know why she's bothering, he's not going to make it."

Her eyes narrowed. "I didn't know you were a doctor."

"I'm not-"

"Then keep your inaccurate medical opinions to yourself. You know nothing, Blake." He shot her an irritated look. "If Clarke says that there's a chance that he'll survive, then I believe her."

"What's with the attitude change? Since we've been down here, you two have had a lot of tension, and now all the sudden you're on her side?"

"Wells locked us in the drop ship until we sorted our shit out," Kat grumbled. "It didn't solve everything, but we understand each other now. Plus," she added. "Her mother was the best doctor up on the Ark, and Clarke used to watch her all the time. I don't doubt her doctoring skills."

"Either way, she's got 24 hours to do whatever it is she's going to do, and then we're going to have to take the decision in our own hands."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"The kid's a lost cause and he's driving people insane-"

"So what, you're just going to kill him because he's _dying_ too loud-"

"Someone around here has to have to guts to make the hard decisions-"

Kat swung around, stopping in front of him and giving him a look of pure disgust. "I think you might be the biggest asshole that I have ever had the misfortunate to meet." She held up a hand to stop him for interrupting. "What if that was you lying up there with a hole next to his heart? What if Octavia was sitting there, worried over your body? Would you want us to just give up and kill you because people are getting annoyed?"

"If there's no chance for me, then yeah, put me out of my misery!"

She stared up at him with a mixture of fury and frustration. "I'll be sure to remember that," she spat.

With that stupid smirk on his face, he reached out and gently tugged on the end of her ponytail. "There's no need to get your panties in a twist, Kitten."

Her nose wrinkled as she slapped away his hand. "Panties? I don't like that word. It's called underwear."

He looked amused. "You don't like it? It's just a word."

"It's a word that I don't like. Kind of like the word 'moist.'"

Blake leaned closer, a shit-eating grin on his face and said slowly, "Moist panties."

With an irritated noise, Kat punched him hard on the shoulder, grinned at his muffled curse and headed over to where the rest of the goon squad was practicing knife throwing against some trees.

"Listen up," Blake said loudly, following behind her. "For those of you that don't know, this is Kat and she's going to be hunting with us today." She was vaguely surprised that he called her by her actual name. "Kat this Atom, Connor, Miller, and I think you know Murphy."

"Unfortunately," She muttered under her breath. Murphy sneered at her but the others just nodded. Blake fell into a discussion with Atom and Murphy, who she didn't want to be anywhere near, so she started walking in the opposite direction, quietly observing the other two throw their knives.

Miller, who had light brown skin and dark brown hair, threw the knife and grumbled under his breath when it clattered harmlessly off the tree.

"Your follow through is all wrong," Kat commented.

"What?" Miller asked, looking back at her.

"Your follow through. Your arm is crossing over your body, which is changing the angle of the knife. Also, you're throwing too hard, you don't need that much strength. And your stance is all wrong," she added.

Miller blinked. Indecision shone on his face and Kat wondered if he was struggling with the fact that a girl knew more than him. Grudgingly, he held the knife out to her and reluctantly said, "How would you do it then?"

With a small smile, she stepped forward and took the knife, examining it. "With this knife, the blade is heavier than the handle so you're going to grip the handle like this. All your weight goes on your dominant foot, with the other one slightly in front. Raise your knife throwing arm up with a slightly bent elbow. You're going to want to bend your wrist depending on how far the target is. The closer it is, the more you bend your wrist." She mimed a throwing motion. "When you're ready to throw, shift your weight to your non dominant foot, bring your arm down in front of you and release." Sending him a look to make sure she was paying attention, Kat re-shifted her stance and this time threw the knife and was rewarded with a dull thunk as it stuck in the tree. "You'll have to practice the amount of strength you use, but that'll come with time."

"Wow," he said as she retrieved the knife and handed it back to him. "You really know what you're talking about."

"Yes, I do. Go ahead, your turn. Let's see."

He took the knife and got in the ready stance. After taking a deep breath, he released the knife and sighed when it didn't stick in the tree. "What did I do wrong this time?" He asked after he retrieved the knife.

"It's your stance still. Okay, get in position." She took a few steps closer to him. "Weight on your back foot. Good." She placed her hands on his shoulders, eyebrows creasing in concentration as she adjusted him. "Tighten your core," she added, placing a hand against his abs and tapping. He stilled underneath her, his breath catching. She peeked up at him in concern. "Miller? What's wrong?"

"Hm?" He said, distracted. A glimmer of something unreadable passed through his eyes and he shook his head slightly. "What? Nothing, I- I think I've got it."

"Great," she said brightly, stepping away. "Let's see it again."

He took another deep breath and threw the knife. It stuck in the tree this time, and he turned to grin at Kat, excitement shining on his face. "I did it! Did you see that?"

He raised a hand for a high five, which she hesitantly returned. She was struck with the sudden thought, that Miller was pretty good-looking. Inwardly groaning, she looked away from him. Goddamnit. When did she start recognizing whether guys were attractive or not?

Her eyes landed on Blake who was already looking at her. She frowned. Why did he look…angry?

"Alright, we're moving out. Let's go, Miller," he shouted harshly.

Kat rolled her eyes. What a dick. What was his problem?

Kat leaned down to pull out the knife from her boot, flicking it open and quietly following behind the rest of the group. They had apparently found boar tracks earlier, so they were following them deeper and deeper into the woods.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later they heard the soft snuffling of the boar. Blake held up a hand, motioning for everyone to be quiet. He directed everyone to fan out, surrounding the boar as he twirled his axe in his hand, anticipation in his eyes. "She's mine," he said in a hushed voice.

They all crept closer, tension thick in the air, when a branch snapped behind them. Without missing a beat, Blake pivoted on his back leg and in one fluid motion snapped his axe forward, sending it spinning into the tree next to the small girl who was standing there with a petrified look on her face.

With a frightened squeal, the boar broke out into a run, and several of their hunting party sprang after it.

"Damn it, Blake," Kat snapped, brushing past him. "You really need to learn to identify your target before you throw your axe!" She slowly approached the pale girl, asking, "Are you alright?" She just nodded shakily in return.

"Who the hell are you?" Blake asked, roughly, shooting Kat a dark look.

"Charlotte."

"I almost killed you. Why aren't you back at camp?"

"Well with that guy who was dying I just - I couldn't listen anymore." At this, Blake turned and sent Kat a pointed look as if saying 'See? I told you so.'

Kat ignored him.

"There are grounders out here," Atom said. "It's too dangerous for a little girl."

"I'm not little," Charlotte insisted.

To Kat's utter disbelief and amazement, instead of sending the girl back to camp like he should have done, a small smile began to spread across his face. "Okay then," he agreed, voice softening. "But you can't hunt without a weapon."

Kat watched with mixed emotions as Blake proceeded to pull out an extra homemade knife and hand it to her. On the one hand, the girl shouldn't be out here unarmed, but on the other… she personally knew how dangerous it could be to hand a little girl a weapon, especially when she had no idea how to use it.

"You ever killed something before?" Blake asked her. The girl shook her head. "Well who knows? Maybe you're good at it."

Kat sent him an exasperated look. Why on earth would he say something like that to a little girl? He was just begging for future psychological issues. She should know.

Blake sent Charlotte one last small smile before turning and heading to find the others with Atom.

Charlotte looked at Kat apprehensively. Trying to make her feel more comfortable, Kat attempted a smile. "How old are you?" She asked as they followed after Blake.

"Thirteen."

Kat's hand tightened around her knife. Thirteen. The year her world imploded around her. Would everything remind her of that night? Was it a coincidence that a girl this age just happened to show up after her big argument with Clarke over what happened that night?

"You know how to use a knife?" Kat asked, nodding towards the weapon she had in her hand.

"Sure," Charlotte said, giving her a weird look. "You stab with it."

Kat grinned at the attitude in her voice. The girl had a little bit of fire in her. "Well. Looks like you got it all figured out then."

Charlotte opened her mouth to say something else, but stopped in her tracks, peering over Kat's shoulder with a confused look on her face. She grabbed Kat's arm. "What is that?"

Kat turned and squinted, trying to figure out if what she was seeing was real. What looked like a giant yellow cloud was creeping towards them. It spread through the trees and the grass, forming a wall that was impossible to see through.

A terrible feeling settled in Kat's stomach. She grabbed Charlotte's hand, pulling her along in the opposite direction. "Blake," she called, the urgency clear in her voice.

He turned to look at her, and immediately saw the yellow cloud behind them. His eyes widened for a moment, then turned hard in determination. "Run!" Blake shouted to the rest of the group. "Move it! Go, go, go!"

"Come on Charlotte," Kat urged, picking up the pace. Her heart pounded as she looked over her shoulder – how did it seem so much closer already? "You need to run faster!"

She couldn't see any of the others in front of her – they had all scattered in panic as soon as they saw the yellow cloud. Her mind frantically searched to find a way to escape – she had a terrible feeling that if they got caught in the cloud that it would hurt… a lot.

Out of nowhere Blake veered towards them, grabbing Charlottes other hand. "There's caves this way! Come on Atom," he shouted over his shoulder.

Kat let Blake pull Charlotte along as they scrambled down a hill, following behind them closely. "Here it is," Blake called, pushing Charlotte into the cave.

Kat looked over her shoulder and slowed down to a jog when she saw Atom trip and fall. She turned and was about to go help him when a strong hand clasped her arm. She shot Blake a startled glance. "What are you doing? Let go, we have to help him-"

A tortured look crossed his face as he looked for his friend, but he was already enveloped in the yellow cloud. "Bellamy!" They heard Atom scream, his voice tight with pain.

Blake's jaw clenched, his hand unconsciously squeezing her arm. "It's too late," he said hoarsely. "Get inside. Now." Ignoring her protestations, he shoved her inside the cave, causing her to stumble.

Charlotte looked frightened at the look on Blake's face, and noticing that, he made a conscious effort to put her at ease. "It's alright, Charlotte. We'll stay here until it's safe, then we can go back to camp."

"What about Atom?" Charlotte asked quietly.

Kat looked at Blake, who swallowed thickly. "I don't know," he murmured.

Unable to bear the uncertainty in his eyes, Kat slid down the wall and settled down to wait. Minutes turned to hours and soon night fell. There was very little talking in the cave, mostly between Blake and Charlotte as they softly murmured to each other. Kat found herself wondering about Wells and Clarke and the rest of the camp. Were they safe? Did they manage to find someplace to wait until it was okay to go outside again? Was there anyone besides Atom who was stuck in the yellow cloud?

Speaking of which, what the fuck was this stuff? She didn't remember learning about it during her classes back up on the Ark, so she guessed that it must have started after the war.

After who knows how long, Blake spoke up and suggested that they all get some rest. So, with her mind a jumble of thoughts and questions, Kat lay down and attempted to get some sleep.

Kat shifted in her sleep, feeling warm but surprisingly comfortable. She frowned, her eyes still shut, as she felt something hard pressing up against her lower back. Mumbling sleepily, she reached back and tried to brush it away.

A deep, low moan sounded in her ear and she froze, her eyes snapping open. Realizations flitted through her mind so quickly, she wasn't quite sure they were real.

Blake's face buried in her neck. His leg threaded between the two of hers. His arm hooked around her stomach, where it was possessively holding her right breast. And his hips, pressing forward against her hand, which was still resting up against his-

With her mind still fuzzy from sleep, her hand unconsciously flexed again, as if she wasn't quite certain what was going on. She snatched it away when Blake gave a pleased grumbled into her neck, hips pressing against her backside. A small gasp escaped her when his arm tightened around her stomach, pulling her back to him more firmly.

She was overwhelmed by Blake. His scent, his heat, the feel of him wrapped around her – were those his lips pressed against her neck? She was hot, flushed, the familiar tingling warmth running through her veins. She couldn't think straight, could have sworn there was some reason why this shouldn't be happening right now. A shudder ran through her as she felt his hand tighten around her breast.

Carefully, she tried to shift her head to see if he was still sleeping. She wouldn't put it past him to torture her like this in the dark.

She winced as her shoulder hit his chest, causing him lift his head and blink down blearily at her. "Kitten?" he murmured, his voice husky with sleep. His eyes flickered down her body, to his hips and his hands, and then up to her flushed face and parted lips.

It was difficult to make out the expression on his face as he looked down at her, but she was absolutely certain that his head was lowering down to hers.

Anticipation made her heart pound faster. His hot breath ghosted over her lips and her eyes fluttered shut –

"No!"

Kat jerked her head up, her forehead colliding with Blake's, causing her to let out an explosive string of curses. Blake winced and sent Kat an unreadable expression as he readjusted his pants before focusing on Charlotte.

Kat sat up, prodding the spot on her forehead while Blake urged Charlotte to wake up.

"I'm sorry," Charlotte whispered, in such a pitiful, sad voice that Kat looked over at her in surprise.

"Does it happen often?" Blake asked softly. Charlotte looked down in response. "What are you scared of?" After a moment's pause, he shook his head. "You know what? It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you do about it."

Kat watched Blake thoughtfully, fascinated as he showed a soft, compassionate side to him that she had never seen before. What was it about Charlotte that brought out that side of him?

"But… I'm asleep."

"Fear is what fear is. Slay your demons when you're awake, they won't be able to get you when you're asleep."

"Yeah, but how?"

"Down here, weakness is death. _Fear_ is death." Kat must have made a noise, because they both turned to look at her. "What?" Blake asked. "Something to add?"

Kat shrugged. "I disagree."

"With what?"

"Basically everything you just said."

"What do you mean?" Charlotte asked, sounding curious.

"I don't necessarily think fear is a bad thing. It's only ever really bad when it stops you from doing or accomplishing anything. Fear kept me alive for most of my life. It kept me alert and cautious, and stopped me from doing anything stupid." Her eyes locked on Charlotte's as once again flashes of that night flickered through her brain. "I slayed my demon when I was thirteen," Kat told her. "It didn't make me feel any better and it sure as sh-" she stuttered, realizing who her audience was. "-Shoot didn't stop the nightmares."

Charlotte's gaze locked on Kat. "What was your demon?" She asked.

Kat glanced at Blake, who was watching her with interest. She was fully aware of the fact that once she told them about her past, there was no going back. She looked at Charlotte's scared, tired face, and knew that she should at least try to help.

Kat sighed, staring at the wall in front of her, not wanting to see the judgment on their faces. "My father used to beat me," she said in a toneless voice. "Ever since my mother died and up until I was thirteen. Someone found out about what he was doing to me, and he knew that he would be floated so he tried to kill me before they arrested him. We fought and I got lucky, managed to kill him instead." She paused, meeting Charlotte's gaze as she said this next part. "I had nightmares every night for a year. Even now, I still can't get enough sleep. I see him in the darkness… he haunts my dreams." A shudder ran through her. "I've never been able to escape him."

"Yeah, but don't you feel safer now?" Charlotte insisted, eyes bright. "He can never hurt you again."

Kat looked at her in disbelief. Wasn't she listening? "Well, yeah, he can never hurt me again physically, but Charlotte – "

"It's okay," Charlotte said, giving her a smile. "I understand what you meant."

A bad feeling settled in Kat's stomach, because she was 99.9% sure, that Charlotte hadn't understood a word of what Kat had been trying to tell her.

Blake stared at Kat for a moment before jumping in once more. "Here. Give me the knife I gave you." She handed the knife over and Kat felt like she was suddenly intruding on their special moment. "Now when you feel afraid, hold tight to that knife and say, 'Screw you, I'm not afraid.'"

Charlotte took the knife back and looked down at it. "Screw you. I'm not afraid." Bellamy just looked at her, eyebrow raised. "Screw you," Charlotte tried again in a more determined voice. "I'm not afraid."

"Slay your demons, kid," Blake said, settling back down on the floor. "And then you'll be able to sleep."

Kat watched the trust shining in Charlotte's eyes, watched her soak in every word that Blake said and wondered just how impressionable thirteen-year-old girls were. The advice he just gave her was pretty heavy and she wondered if it was the right thing to do.

Kat laid down, making sure there was more than enough room between her and Blake, and attempted to go to sleep, telling herself over and over again, that she was _not_ that aware of Blake lying right beside her.

Morning came a few hours later, and they all got up around the same time, not saying much of anything to each other.

"Is it okay to go outside?" Charlotte asked, looking towards the opening of the cave.

Blake carefully crept towards the entrance, looking back at them when he stepped outside. "It's all clear." Kat and Charlotte walked up next to him, looking around. Kat expected things to look different somehow, but everything seemed the same. "Is anybody out there?" Blake called. "Miller! Connor!"

"We're over here!" Someone called back.

Blake sent them a significant look and led the way, quickly finding the others. Kat looked, her heart sinking when she didn't see Atom. "We lost you guys back there. Where'd you go?"

"We made it to a cave down there. What the hell was that?"

"I don't know. Where's Atom?" They all shared a dark look, and it was clear that nobody had seen him. "Alright, split up and keep an eye out. We've got to find him."

The other nodded before jogging off in opposite directions. Kat hurried after Blake, remembering the worry in his eyes. "Hey," she called. He glanced at her, but didn't say anything. "Are you okay? I know you and Atom are friends. He may have found a cave to hide in like we did-"

Blake sent her a glare. "You and I both saw him get stuck in that fog. We both heard-" His voice caught and he broke off, swearing. "We both heard him screaming – fuck, I should have gone back for him-"

A familiar scream sounded through the woods, and Blake jerked his head up, trying to determine where the sound came from. "Charlotte," Blake muttered, before taking off. Kat followed close at his heels as they dodged through trees, another scream making them pick up the pace.

Kat saw Charlotte first who looked extremely pale, looking at something with terror in her eyes. Kat followed her gaze, and had to swallow hard at the bile that rose up in her throat.

Atom was lying on the ground, gasping. Bloody burn marks covered his exposed skin, and after walking closer, she realized that his eyes had turned an unnaturally pale color. It was obvious he was in a tremendous amount of pain.

For a moment, she wished Clarke was here. She would know what to do and how to help.

Blake slowly walked over to kneel next to him, taking in his body with a resigned, defeated glance. "Kill me," she heard Atom pant, staring up at Blake with pleading eyes.

Charlotte slowly stepped forward, looking at Atom with a solemn expression. She slipped her hand into her pocket and pulled out her knife, placing it in his hand. "Don't be afraid," she said softly, sounding older than her thirteen years.

Blake clenched his jaw, looking up at the rest of the group who had just arrived. "Go back to camp," he ordered them. "You too, Charlotte," he added in a softer voice.

Kat had no intention of going anywhere. She walked closer to Atom and Blake, trying not to focus on the sound of Atom's tortured gasps for breath. Blake looked up as she knelt across from him, the look of hopelessness and uncertainty in his eyes making her feel terrible. Blake may be an asshole, but it was obvious that he cared for his friend. Was there anything that they could do for him?

She laid a hand over Blake's, the one holding the knife. "Do you want me to do it?" She asked softly.

Before he could answer, movement caught her eye and she looked over Blake's shoulder to see Clarke standing there. "Clarke?" She asked in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard screams," Clarke explained hurrying over. Kat moved to the side so Clarke could see Atom properly.

"Charlotte found him," Blake said, looking up at her. "I sent her back to camp."

"Is there anything we can do for him?" Kat asked anxiously. "A plant, or- or maybe we can make a cream or something-"

Clarke shook her head, and Kat's shoulders slumped. A muscle flexed in Blake's jaw as he looked down.

Steeling herself, Clarke took a deep breath, smoothing out her expression. "Okay." She said in a soft voice. "I'm going to help you. Alright?" Slowly, she reached out a hand, stroking back Atom's hair. She started humming a song that Kat didn't recognize as she reached out and took the knife from Blake.

Every hair on Kat's body stood up and a thrill of fear ran through her as she watched Clarke look down at Atom. Without stopping her humming, she slowly and methodically slid the knife into Atom's neck. It must have been a calculated move on her part, because Atom's bled out within seconds, his gasping fading as his eyes fell shut.

For the first time in her life, Kat was a scared of Clarke Griffin. She looked like an angel of mercy.

They all sat there for a moment, the enormity of what just happened crashing over them and leaving them reeling.

"We should-" Blake stopped and cleared his throat. "We should head back to camp." Carefully, he lifted his friend's body onto his shoulder and stood up. Without another look at either of the girls, he started walking away.

Kat watched Clarke wipe the knife on the grass and slip it into her pocket. A small crease formed between her eyes. "Are you alright?" Kat asked.

Clarke's eyes jerked up to hers and she mustered up a strong expression. "Yeah. There's nothing that could have been done, or at least nothing that _I_ could do, and he was in such pain-"

"Clarke," Kat interrupted, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You don't need to convince me."

Clarke nodded, glancing down at Kat's hand. She quickly snatched it back, feeling uncomfortable. "Come on," Clarke muttered, standing and brushing off her pants.

Kat looked up and Clarke's outstretched hand and hesitated before taking it and allowing Clarke to pull her up. They shifted for awkwardly for a moment, both of them seeming to realize that their relationship really had changed.

"So what were you doing out here?" Kat asked as they started walking. "How did you know where we were?"

"I didn't," Clarke answered. "Not until I heard Charlotte scream. Finn, Wells and I were out looking for the seaweed that the grounders used to patch up Jasper's wound."

"That's great! Did you find it?"

"Yeah, if we can get it back to him and time, he might be okay. We would have been back sooner, but this yellow mist came out of nowhere and we were forced to hide in an abandoned automobile until it passed."

"Same thing hit by us. We hid in a cave, but Atom… he didn't make it in time."

They both acknowledged that in silence, and during that time, the crease was back between Clarke's eyebrows. Kat tried to identify the look on her face. She looked lost… confused… and was the fear?

Kat frowned. "Did anything else happen when you guys were out there? You seem off."

Clarke sighed. "Things were said that are making me second guess – everything. And I don't know what to do about it."

"Well that clears things up," Kat muttered under her breath sarcastically. Clarke shot her a glare, but it lacked her usual fire.

They fell silent, walking quickly as the sun started to set. Blake trudged on ahead, his jaw clenched and his eyes fixed forwards. At some point Wells and Finn joined up with them.

Finn and Clarke looked at each other, the relief at seeing each other evident on their faces. After they murmured a soft hey, Clarke looked to Wells, and instead of the usual hate that Kat expected, she shot him a confused, speculative look and just as quickly looked away.

What the hell happened out there?

She watched Finn touch Clarke on the arm, then lean in close to whisper something in her ear. Clarke looked up at him and responded. Finn's hand lingered on Clarke's arm and Kat narrowed her eyes. Those two looked especially cozy all of the sudden. More so than usual.

"Hey," Wells greeted, nudging her arm. "What happened? Whose body is Bellamy carrying?" Kat quickly filled him in and he let out a low whistle. "Wow. I wasn't really fond of him, but no one deserves something like that. Poor guy."

With a sudden jolt, Kat remembered that Atom and Octavia were… well she didn't really know what they were, but Octavia was definitely going to be upset when she saw his body. Kat wished she knew what she could do to help her.

She turned to Wells. He knew all about being a good friend. If there was anyone that could give her advice it would be him. "How do you comfort someone who just lost someone important to them?"

Wells looked at her for a long moment, searching her eyes. He shrugged. "Just being there for them is the main thing. Everyone grieves differently and you have to keep that in mind. If they want to yell and curse, stand there in take it. If they want to sit in silence, sit there with them. Don't offer them meaningless advice or tell them how strong they are. It's just important that you let them know that you're there for them."

Kat nodded, a serious expression on her face as she let that all sink in for a moment. She wondered what Octavia would do.

"Are you still mad at me?" Wells asked.

"No," Kat admitted. "I'm more annoyed with myself for letting you trick me like that."

A proud grin crossed his face. "Hey, what are friends for?"

Kat shot him a startled glance. That was the second time in two days that someone had said they were her friend. Her chest warmed at the realization and she had to bite her lip to stop the smile from spreading across her face. Was Wells her friend? She thought back to her fight to help him against Murphy, their talk in the tree, all the conversations in between and ending with him locking her and Clarke in the drop ship.

"Hey," she said suddenly, placing a hand on his arm. "Thanks."

"For what?" He asked, confused.

"For caring enough to try and fix the problems between me and Clarke. Even if you didn't do it for me."

"I did it for both of you," he said gently, eyes softening.

Kat nodded hesitantly, looking back down at the ground. _Friends,_ she snorted to herself. _What a strange concept._

Finally, about an hour or so later, they reached the camp. A bonfire was going, and most everybody was sitting around it. "They're back!" Someone called, causing a sudden flurry of activity.

"We have to get to Jasper," Clarke said immediately to Finn as they hurried towards the drop ship.

Kat stuck her hands in her pockets, watching Blake step forward and gently lower Atom to the floor, his expression still solemn. "Get Clarke whatever she needs," he instructed someone softly.

"It's about time!" Octavia called, rushing forward. "They're going to kill Jasper. Did you get the medicine?" She asked Clarke.

"Yeah, I got the medicine. Come on, let's go talk." Clarke said, putting an arm around Octavia and attempting to draw her away.

_Go with her Octavia,_ Kat quietly urged.

Something caught Octavia's eye, and she pushed Clarke's arm away.

"Octavia," Blake tried, stepping forward. "Just stay there, please – stay back –"

"Let go, Bell," Octavia insisted, pushing past him too. Octavia's eyes quickly looked to Kat, searching, and apparently not liking what she found there. Slowly, she knelt by the body and pulled the jacket away from his face. "Atom," she whispered brokenly.

"There was nothing I could do-" Blake said a pleading note in his voice.

"Don't," Octavia snapped, holding up a hand and looking at her brother with a fierce light in her eye. The light faded slightly as she looked back down at Atom, carefully putting the jacket back in place. She staggered to her feet.

"O," Blake tried again, but she just pushed past him, muttering another "don't" under her breath.

Blake watched her go for a moment, looking upset, before he took a sharp breath and composed himself. "Lose anyone here?" He asked Murphy.

"None."

"Jasper?"

"Still breathing, barely. I tried to take him out but your psycho little sister-"

_Oh shit._

Kat watched the anger that he once told her about, rise to the surface. _'That anger you feel,' he had said, 'the anger that you try so hard to hide and keep contained – but when it becomes too much it spreads to every part of your body and the only way to get rid of that much energy is to fight, to hit something in order to make yourself feel better.'_

She watched his face contort with fury as he grabbed the front of Murphy's jacket, shoving him back a few steps.

Realizing his mistake, Murphy raised his hands in the air. "Bellamy-"

"My what?" Blake shouted in his face, shaking him. "My what?"

"Your little sister," Murphy corrected, dark eyes glittered as he shoved Blake off him.

"Yeah that's right. My little sister. Got anything else you wanna say about her?" He asked, his voice low and threatening.

"Nothing. Sorry," Murphy apologized, sounding not sorry in the least. _Fucking prick,_ Kat thought, dislike spreading through her.

For a second Kat thought Blake was going to hit him, but he just held Murphy's gaze for a few more moments, before taking a step back. Kat saw his hands clench at his sides when he looked around at the crowd of people surrounding them. "Take care of him," he said to Wells, looking at Atom's body. Jaw clenched, he brushed past the crowd and stalked away.

"I'll help you," Kat muttered to him quietly, remembering his words about burying the two kids who died during their landing. She grabbed Atom's feet while Wells grabbed his upper body and together they carried him over to their new cemetery.

They laid him on the ground, and Wells grabbed the shovel that was nearby in order to start digging. Kat sat down on the ground, her mind still on the incident between Blake and Octavia.

"Having a sibling seems very… complicated," Kat said, musing out loud.

Wells paused in his digging to look over at her. "It does."

"It must be nice though," Kat continued. "To always have someone there for you no matter what."

"Do you wish you could have had a brother or a sister?" Wells asked, continuing to dig.

Kat thought back to her life growing up, full of fear and pain, and resolutely shook her head. "No. I don't. What about you?"

"Sometimes, when I was younger. But I grew up with Clarke," he said as if that solved everything. "Here, help me with the body."

Kat helped him lower Atom into the grave, and bent down to push dirt over his body. They were done five minutes later, staring down at a patch of dirt that was the only evidence that a person was down there. Kat felt strange. Empty. Numb. "Now what? Do you usually say something?"

Wells shrugged. "I just take a moment of silence."

"And think about what?" Kat asked curiously.

"Death. Life. How short it all seems." Wells looked down, sounding thoughtful. "Mostly I just try to remind myself that I could die at any moment of any day – if that day comes, did I live my live to the fullest? Without any regrets?" He gave her a self-conscious smile, ducking his head. "I don't know. It sounds dumb when I say it out loud."

"No," Kat said softly, still looking at the mound of dirt. "I don't think it sounds dumb at all." A branch snapped and both of them looked up to see Clarke walking towards them. "Hey," Kat called, frowning in concern at the look on her face. "Is everything okay? Jasper-"

"Jasper's fine," Clarke said in a shaky voice. "He's awake."

"That's great-"

"Kat," Clarke said wincing at her sharp tone. She sent Kat a slightly apologetic look. "Can I talk to Wells please? Alone?"

"Sure," Kat said, mystified at the look on Clarke's face. It looked like she was barely holding it together. Turning to Wells, she grinned and punched him softly on the arm. "You're on watch tonight, right?" He nodded. "Alright. I'll relieve you when the sun's up. I better not catch you sleeping on the job," she joked.

Wells scoffed. "Please. I would never."

Kat's grin faded as she glanced between Clarke and Wells. "Okay. I'll see you both tomorrow then." With a final wave, she headed back towards camp, silently hoping that this confrontation might lead to a reconciliation. They deserved it after the day they had.

Shaking her head, Kat wondered if they would ever have a peaceful day down here on the ground.

She was so lost in her thoughts that it took her a moment to realize there was someone else in the woods with her. Peering through the trees she saw a figure bracing himself against a tree, shoulders hunched. "Blake?" She called softly, taking a couple steps forward. "Is that you?"

He spun quickly, surprising her. The tortured, grief-stricken look on his face caused her to stop in her tracks. He swore under his breath. "What are you doing here?" He asked her hoarsely.

She jerked her thumb over her shoulder. "I was helping Wells with-" She broke off. "With something."

"With Atom's body," Blake spat. "Go ahead, say it. You were burying his body."

Looking him in the eye, she said calmly. "I was helping Wells bury Atom's body."

Pain flickered through his eyes, but he accepted it, nodded like he deserved it. "I considered him a friend, you know. And now…it's my fault he's dead."

"No, it's not-"

"Yes it is!" He snapped, striding towards her in his anger. She briefly thought back to when Blake grabbed Murphy, but she stood her ground, raising her chin to look at him in the eye. "You were going to go back and help him and I stopped you instead of letting you go-"

"If you had let me go, you would have had to bury two bodies, instead of just one."

"It's my fault-" he croaked, shoulders slumping in defeat.

"No," Kat insisted, ducking her head until he looked at her. "This is not your fault! Are you an asshole? Sure. Do you make terrible decisions most of the time? Definitely. But you did not kill Atom. That toxic yellow cloud did. Not. You."

Kat glared up at him, her expression fierce and he just looked at her, an unreadable look in his eyes. In a move that completely surprised and disarmed her, Blake took her face between his hands and crushed her lips to his. She could feel the frustration, the grief, and the anger in his kiss as he tried to find comfort in her. Her mouth automatically opened up to his, but before she could deepen the kiss, he was detangling himself from her grip and taking a step back.

She blinked up at him, panting, and his eyes flickered down to her lips before jerking back up to her eyes. Indecision warred on his face for a moment, before smoothing into an emotionless mask. He reached up to tug the end of her ponytail. "I'll see you later, Kitten," he murmured.

Kat just watched, bewildered, as he walked away, the darkness swallowing him whole.

* * *

**Author's Note: Hitting the 100 review mark has been a personal goal of mine and I can't believe I'm almost there. I just want to thank each and every one of you for sticking with me so far. **

**Okay so I have a thrilling, daunting, and nerve wracking announcement. When I post the next chapter, the rating for this story will officially be moved up to M. I repeat, the rating will move up to M. I hope most of you are as excited for this as I am! I don't want to give too much away, so that's all I'm going to say for now ;)**

**Also, side note: I don't know if any of you have read it yet, but I've written a short Bellarke piece that's a one-shot for now. It popped into my head while I was on vacation and wouldn't go away. It's called ****Your Biggest Mistake**** and I would really appreciate it if you guys would give it a read and leave a review to let me know what you think!**

**School/work start up again this week (seriously, where did the summer go?) but I'll try and update as regularly as I can. Just giving you a heads up.**

**Make sure you leave a review and let me know what you thought about this chapter. I love hearing that you guys catch the clues that I'm dropping and I especially love predictions about what might happen in the future! You guys make me excited to keep writing :)**


	9. Happy Birthday To Me

Disclaimer: I do not own The 100, only my OC's

**Author's Note: Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed my story! Special thanks to my beta Dannylionthe1st!**

**WARNING: As I've mentioned before, I'm moving the rating up to M. I'm excited and nervous to hear what you guys think so be sure to leave a review!**

* * *

Chapter 9: Happy Birthday To Me

"Kat!" She stepped out of her tent to see Octavia jogging towards her.

"Hey, Octavia. What's up?"

"Can we train today? I just have a lot of pent up energy after…after everything that happened with Atom."

Kat nodded, looking at her in concern. She reached out a hand and awkwardly patted Octavia on the shoulder. "I'm sorry about Atom," she began, shifting on her feet. "If you ever uh – you know, need to talk or something – "

Octavia watched her talk, a smile growing on her face as Kat stammered and turned red. "You would want to talk to me about it?"

Kat lifted a shoulder. "Well I mean yeah, if you needed to vent or whatever."

"Thanks Kat," Octavia said. "But I'm not really in the talking mood. I'd much rather learn to fight and hit things."

Kat sighed in relief. "Oh thank god. That I can help you with. It's going to have to be later though, I have to take over Wells' watch shift now. Let's say about noon?"

"Sure. I'll see you then."

Kat sent her a wave and a smile as she walked away, which Octavia weakly returned. She swung her staff onto her shoulder and ducked out from the crude wall they were building, heading to where Wells was waiting. Her mind wandered as she walked, running through different training exercises that she could do with Octavia. They worked on a lot more offense at their last session, so maybe they should work on defensive maneuvers this time.

A dark shape on the ground caught her eye and she squinted to see better, taking the staff slowly off her shoulder. She automatically went on alert, bending her knees slightly as her eyes quickly scanned the surrounding woods.

Creeping closer, her heart stuttered in her chest as she desperately tried to make sense of what she was seeing. A body was lying on the floor, arms spread above his head.

"Wells?" Kat called out softly, a nervous tremor in her voice. "You better not be sleeping on the job, because if you are I'm going to have to - I'm going to…" Her voice trailed off as she finally got a good look at the body on the floor.

Glistening blood slowly oozing from a neck wound. Two missing fingers on his right hand. Wide, glassy eyes.

"Oh fuck," Kat whispered, throwing the staff to the side and dropping to her knees, hands hovering uselessly above his body. "Oh god, no." Even though some part of her knew it was useless, Kat shook him gently. "Wells?" Her hands frantically checked for a pulse (avoiding the gaping neck wound, which she tried not to look at), her head lowering down to his chest to see if he was breathing. She sat back up, impatiently brushing her hair out of her face. "No, you can't be dead, do you hear me? You can't call me a friend one day and then _die_ the next! That's not – That's not fair!"

"_You know, everyone thought you were a little…odd, back in school."_

"_It sounds lonely. It doesn't have to be."_

"_Friends don't give up on each other, no matter how hard things get."_

"_What are friends for?"_

"_I did it for both of you."_

A harsh, strangled noise broke through the silence, and Kat, surprised to find that it was coming from her, abruptly shut up. She couldn't think. Couldn't seem to move past the aching pain in her chest.

Wells was dead. Wells, who had been her first friend on the ground, her first friend ever really, was dead.

God damn it. Fucking hell. This. This was why she put up '50 foot high indestructible walls.' Because it was so much better then feeling this pain.

She'd only known him for a week. Why the fuck did it hurt so much?

Her eyes drifted to the bloody wound in his neck of their own accord. It was small and it looked like a knife wound. A flash of Clarke sliding the knife into Atom's neck flashed through her mind and with it came a sick, nauseous feeling.

Clarke. Clarke had been friends with Wells since they were kids. This was going to kill her, even if her and Wells hadn't made up last night and she still hated him.

Kat staggered to her feet. Clarke – she deserved to be the first to know. The first to see the body. She headed back towards camp, feeling like her limbs each weighed a thousand pounds. She dreaded telling Clarke what happened, and dreaded having to see her reaction.

Kat belatedly realized she must be in shock, and tried to give her head a shake in order to get her brain working clearly. Who had killed Wells? Her first thought was grounders. But why? What could Wells have done to provoke them? When Jasper had gotten speared, it was because he was in their territory. Or that was the theory at least.

So why was Wells dead? And who had killed him?

"Kat!" Someone shouted, a hand coming down on her shoulder in order to turn her around. Without even thinking, Kat grabbed the wrist in both hands, using their momentum to bring their arm up painfully high behind their back.

Voices were shouting at her, but they seemed garbled and distorted and she couldn't seem to understand them. Then hands were prying them apart. Someone shook her slightly, but it was the light slap to the cheek that brought her back to reality.

She blinked rapidly and Blake's face came into focus, staring down at her with a mixture of alarm and concern. "What happened?" He demanded urgently, hands still clenching her shoulders tightly. Her eyes flicked behind Blake to see Miller standing at his shoulder eyes furrowed.

"Sorry," she mumbled to him.

"Why aren't you on watch? And why are you covered in blood?"

"Clarke," she told him, ignoring his questions. "I need to find Clarke."

His brow furrowed, and when Kat tried to pull away, he wouldn't let her. "No, you need to tell me what happened."

Kat's eyes narrowed at his bossy, "leader" tone. "I don't need to tell you anything, Blake, I don't answer to you."

"Everyone here answers to me, sweetheart. I'm the one in charge here-"

Rolling her eyes, Kat drew back her fist and punched him hard in the stomach. He let go of her shoulders with a pained grunt. "You can't just call yourself a leader and expect everyone to follow you, you conceited asshole. I'll consider you my leader when you deserve the title."

With an angry glare at Miller, who had stepped forward to help when she punched Blake, Kat spun around and headed towards the drop ship to find Clarke.

She ignored the strange looks that she got from her fellow delinquents as she walked. The anger fizzling through her veins helped clear the fog from her brain. _At least Blake was useful for something._

Speak of the devil, Blake angrily strode in front of her, making her stop short. He opened his mouth to speak but she furiously cut him off. "I swear to fucking god, Blake, if you don't move right this minute I will kick your fucking ass. If you want to know what happened then shut your stupid mouth and follow me."

Blake snapped his mouth shut, but the look in his eyes told her that he wasn't going to forget the way she spoke to him. She waited until he grudgingly stepped to the side and then continued towards the drop ship. She paused at the entrance, her eyes sweeping the room until she found Clarke's blonde hair.

Clarke looked up from the patient she was working on as Kat strode towards her, her initial smile fading as her eyes trailed over Kat's face and hands. She was surprised by Clarke's look of horror and concern and looked down to see Wells' blood all over her. Bile rose in her throat, and she had to swallow hard to force it back down.

Clarke hastily put down her tools and met her halfway. "What the hell happened? Are you hurt? Where did all this blood come from?"

"Clarke," Kat interrupted, trying to ignore Blake's angry, tense presence at her side. "Can I speak to you in private for a minute?"

Clarke's observant blue eyes scanned her face. "Sure," she finally said, frowning when her eyes came to rest on Blake. "Bellamy, could you step outside for a moment?"

"No."

Kat shot Clarke a look. "I can't get rid of him. He's like a freaking fungus that you just won't go away," she muttered under her breath. "Plus, I guess he should hear this."

"Okay," Clarke said slowly, motioning them to follow her off to the side where nobody can overhear them.

Kat shifted uncomfortably as the other two looked at her expectantly, waiting to hear what she had to say. A wave of sadness and despair drifted over her. She desperately wished Wells was here. He would know what to do and what to say. How was she supposed to do this?

"Kat?" Clarke prompted.

"It's Wells," She blurted suddenly, shocking them both.

"What about him?" Clarke frowned.

"He's…" she began awkwardly, then stopped. She tried again. "I was going to take over watch this morning and – and I found him-"

Clarke hand shot out, fingernails digging painfully into Kat's wrist. Her blue eyes seemed especially bright, full of worry and concern, though Kat could sense the growing panic lurking behind them. "Found him?" She repeated shrilly. Making a conscious effort to lower her voice, she glanced around and hissed, "Damn it, Kat, spit it out!"

"He's dead," Kat whispered, voice cracking. "Wells is dead." She watched Clarke face crumple into a mixture of pain and confusion.

"Dead?" Blake repeated in disbelief. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure, Blake," she snapped angrily. "I think I would know-" She broke off, stepping towards Clarke in concern as the other girl swayed slightly, her face looking unnaturally pale. "Clarke, are you-"

"Show me," Clarke interrupted, her grip tightening. "Show me where he is. I need to see him."

Kat stared doubtfully into the other girls face, but gave her a hesitant nod. "Okay."

"I'm coming too," Blake announced. His eyes narrowed at the look on Kat's face. "There could be other grounders out there. I'm not letting the two of you go back there alone."

"My hero," Kat muttered sarcastically, before turning back to Clarke. Gently, she pried Clarke's fingers off the death grip she had on her wrist. "C'mon Clarke," She said in a softly voice, leading the other girl out of the drop ship and through the camp.

A dull, steady throb began somewhere behind Kat's eyes as their solemn group made their way out of the main gate. This all seemed to be some type of nightmare. Surely, she would wake up soon and her and Wells would laugh about all this in the morning.

Blake paused by Miller, who had once again taken up his post at the gate. "No one leaves camp, got it? Full lock down, but keep it quiet."

Miller nodded, looking curious but he didn't question Blake. Kat inwardly snorted at his loyalty. Figures. There's a guy with a redeemable quality and he goes and puts his faith into someone like Blake. What a waste.

Kat started forward again, picking her way through the trees and logs. When she reached the area where she had found Wells, she unconsciously slowed down, not wanting to see his body again.

Clarke shot her a sharp look and pushed past her, rushing forward only to stumble to a stop a few yards later when she saw him. A whimper escaped her, and she quickly clapped a hand to her mouth. Slowly, almost gracefully, she sank to her knees, hands resting on her thighs.

Clarke just stared, her eyes not moving from Wells' face. She stayed liked that for several moments, completely silent. Kat wasn't even sure she was breathing.

Kat looked at Blake anxiously, but he just shrugged as if to say 'what am I supposed to do?'

Hell if she knew. What do you say to someone who just lost their childhood best friend? Is there anything to say? Her heart gave another painful thump in her chest. _What was she supposed to do?_

Taking a deep breath, Kat slowly walked over to kneel on the other side of Wells' body, her face grim. She waited, shifting a bit when Clarke still didn't notice her. "Clarke?" She asked softly, hesitantly.

Jumping slightly, Clarke looked up her eyes meeting Kat's. For a moment, Kat wished she hadn't said anything at all, because she would never, _ever_ forget the look on Clarke's face. While most of her face was blank, her eyes were so full of emotion. Kat had never seen anything like it.

Grief. Anguish. Pain. Regret. The poor girl looked so lost, so _broken._ It felt like her sadness reached out and brushed up against Kat, leaving an ache somewhere beneath her ribs.

Clarke spoke then, her voice toneless. Kat really wished that Clarke would stop looking at her like that. "He lied to me, you know. Well, not really lied – more like didn't tell me the truth. For almost a year he let me believe that he was the one who turned my father in. That he was the reason my father got floated and I got locked up." Clarke's face crumpled, and her voice cracked. "Why would he do that Kat? Why wouldn't he just tell me that it was _my_ _mother_ who killed my father?"

At this point Kat had to bite her lip to stop her jaw from flopping open in shock and horror. Even though every encounter that she spent with Dr. Griffin was wary and tense, Kat had liked the woman. She was good at her job and it had seemed like she loved her family. Kat remembered the one dinner she was invited to at their place, remembered being jealous at their seemingly perfect family. If Dr. Griffin had loved her husband, then why the hell had she turned him in?

Kat bit back a sigh. If this wasn't proof, than she didn't know what was. Falling in love only ended in pain, betrayal and death. She didn't know why people wanted to fall in love. She wanted no part of it.

Belatedly, Kat realized that Clarke was still looking at her desperately, expectantly, waiting for an answer that Kat didn't have. "I don't know," Kat whispered. "I'm sorr-"

Clarke interrupted her with a hysterical laugh. Kat was pretty sure Clarke wasn't listening to anything she was saying. "No, I _do_ know. He was trying to _protect_ me. I hated him with every cell in my body for months and he was just being a good friend. I suspected him without even asking him for the truth. What kind of person does that make me?"

"A normal one," Kat said truthfully. "Everybody makes mistakes, Clarke. If there's one thing I learned in this life it's that no one is perfect." Kat wracked her brain frantically, trying to think of something that might make her feel better. "Wells said something to me once, he said 'friends don't give up on each other, no matter how hard things get.'" A single tear made its way down Clarke's cheek at those words, and Kat panicked, thinking she was saying the wrong thing. Hurriedly, she added, "He was there for you, Clarke, even when you didn't want him to be. He knew how you would feel if you knew the truth."

Finally, mercifully, Clarke looked away from Kat, her eyes drifting down to Wells' face. "You stupid, stupid idiot," Clarke whispered, her voice sounding strained. Her hand reached out, trembling, to lightly touch him on the cheek. "I'm sorry, Wells. I'm so, so sorry." After a moment's hesitation, she gently closed his eyes.

"Clarke – " Kat tried again.

"Who did this to him?" Clarke snapped furiously, jerking her head up to glare at Kat with her furious blue eyes. "Who killed him? Because I swear to God I will find out and when I do I'll-"

"You'll what, Clarke?" Kat interrupted, a hard edge to her voice. "Kill them?"

"Of course not." Clarke said, disgusted. "But they need to be held responsible for their actions!"

"It was a grounder," Blake said, speaking up for the first time. "We need to get back to camp – "

"Not until we bury him," Kat said firmly. She shared a look at Clarke who nodded, biting her lip.

"It's not safe-"

"It needs to be done, Blake. It's what Wells would have wanted – "

"It's not safe," Blake insisted, stepping forward, hand on his ax. "I need to get back to camp to reinforce the wall, set up guards along the perimeter, make sure everyone is in camp – "

"Fine! Help us bring Wells over by the others, then go back to camp and send Miller out to us if you really need to. I like him better then you anyway," she added half-heartedly.

He narrowed his eyes at her, thinking over her suggestion. "Fine. But you two bury him and then come straight back to camp. If Wells was killed by a grounder then they might still be hanging around somewhere."

They all agreed, Clarke nodding distractedly, and Blake left without another word to got fetch Miller. Miller showed up not five minutes later, his face grim and his eyes wide as he took in Wells' body. He glanced between the two girls, quickly taking in the tense, somber atmosphere. "I'll grab his upper body," he said quietly. "Why don't you two grab his legs?"

Kat grimaced at the thought of having to touch his dead body, but nodded, lifting when Miller counted to three. They carried him over to the other graves without speaking, gently placing him down on the ground. Kat grabbed the shovel that was leaning against the tree.

Miller frowned at her as she began digging and stepped forward. "Kat why don't you let me – "

"I've got it," she snapped, biting back a sigh at the look of shock and hurt that crossed his face. "Sorry. I just need to do this, okay? Besides, Blake sent you here to be the lookout in case any grounders come." Miller nodded hesitantly, and Clarke didn't even put up a fight, just sat on the ground, staring at Wells' body with a blank expression on her face.

Kat slammed in the shovel into the ground, throwing the dirt in a pile with a determined expression on her face. She thought back to the other times when Wells had personally volunteered to take care of their fellow delinquents' bodies, and she felt that in some small way she owed him, to show his body the respect that it deserved.

She moved at a rigorous pace, and only stopped when Miller said that it was enough. Together, the three of them gently lifted Wells' body and placed him into the grave. Clarke and Kat knelt beside the dirt pile and began to push it in. Out of the corner of her eye, Kat could see a few stray tears slip down Clarke's cheek, but she didn't mention it. She didn't know what to do or say to make this any easier on the other girl.

When they finished, they stared down at the freshly dug grave, with Miller standing off to the side and gave Wells a moment of silence. After glancing at Clarke she shoved her hands in her pockets. _'I'm not very good at these things,_" she began in her head. _'Or anything to do with people, really. But you knew that. You mentioned once that when you gave a moment of silence you thought about live and death, and whether you lived life to the fullest. I didn't really know you that well, but I think you did. You were a kind, good-hearted person, and you were always there to help. I'm glad that I knew you, even if it was for such a short amount of time.' _Kat paused for a moment, swallowing hard to get rid of the lump in her throat. _'I'm going to make more of an effort to help and be nicer to people. I might not always get it right, but I'll try. Goodbye Wells. Thank you for teaching me what it means to be a friend."_

* * *

Kat ducked behind the outer row of tents, eyes darting back and forth as she quickly and quietly walked away from the main exit. If one more person came up to her and asked what had happened to Wells, she was either going to punch them in the face or start screaming. Possibly even a combination of both.

The dumb ones were happy he was dead, because in some small way it was payback for all the things they blamed the Chancellor for. The smart ones, though, were scared. They seemed to realize that a grounder had probably killed Wells and were nervous that they might be coming back to pick off more of them.

She paused for a moment, glancing back at the drop ship. After the few tears that had escaped while they were burying Wells, Clarke had brushed off all of Kat's concerns and stammered condolences and had stormed away after snapping that she was fine. She had immediately dove back into work and Kat had just watched her go. She was pretty sure that after losing your best childhood friend, the normal reaction would be to cry, scream, curse, do something – anything. Then again, Kat herself probably wouldn't have what was considered a normal reaction.

Even now, Kat couldn't really identify the emotions that were flashing through her. There was the usual anger and exhaustion that she usually felt, but on top of that there was grief and sadness as well as a peculiar restlessness that made her feel like she was ready to jump out of her skin. Her eyes darted around to the numerous teenagers surrounding her and all at once she felt like walls were pressing in on her, making it difficult to breathe.

After 17 years of being alone – Kat abruptly stopped short, her eyes widening as she realized what day it was. They'd been down on the ground for a week. If she were still up on the Ark, she would have been floated because today was her 18th birthday.

She snorted, a depressed feeling washing over her at the thought that her first friend died on her birthday. _Happy birthday to me,_ she thought sarcastically.

Though a small part of her knew that she was living on borrowed time, she was glad that they were on the ground and she had a second chance to live. That joy quickly turned to ashes in her mouth as Wells' wide, glassy eyes flashed through her mind.

Too many emotions, too many people, too many damn problems that she didn't know how to solve. She needed out, a break to be by herself for a bit and just _think_ through everything that was all jumbled in her mind. Because if she didn't, she felt like she was going to go insane.

Starting forward once more, Kat headed towards the back of the wall that they had made, knowing that there was a small opening that she could fit through. She had tried walking out the main gate earlier, but Miller and another asshole who she didn't know wouldn't let her out, saying that Blake had ordered a lockdown and no one was allowed to leave. For half a second she debated fighting her way out, but figured that was pointless and would only cause a scene and more attention that she didn't want to draw onto herself.

So she was sneaking out the back. After another quick glance over her shoulder to make sure no one was following her, Kat slipped through a small gap between two logs.

Striding away from the claustrophobic camp, Kat already felt lighter and her thinking was clearer. She could feel the beginnings of a smile begin to take over her face –

"Going somewhere?"

Letting out a startled yelp, Kat jumped, spinning around quickly to see Blake leaning against a nearby tree with his arms crossed, a disapproving yet annoyingly smug look on his face. "What the fuck, Blake?" She gasped, mentally berating herself for not being more aware of her surroundings. What if he had been a grounder? She peered at him suspiciously. "Were you out here… waiting for me?"

"Of course I was," he said instantly, raising an eyebrow in superiority. "I knew you were going to be a stubborn idiot and try and sneak out. I actually just talked with Murphy about getting that hole in the wall fixed, I'm glad he hasn't gotten around to it yet."

"Yeah, that's great," Kat said dismissively, not even really listening to what he was saying. "Look, I just need an hour or two to myself and then I'll be back."

"Don't be stupid Kat. You can't think it's safe to be wandering around in the woods when one of us was just killed by a grounder."

"I'll only be gone for a little while," she insisted. "I'll be fine – "

"You're going to get yourself killed."

She sent him an odd, speculative look. "Why do you care?"

Blake straightened up from the tree striding toward her with a completely serious look on his face. "If you go off into the woods and end up getting yourself killed, that's on _me_ – "

Kat nodded with understanding, but waving him off anyway. "I'll make it easier for you. Go back to whatever it is that you do and forget you ever saw me."

"No can do, Kitten." A smirk hovered on the edges of his lips.

Kat stared at him blankly for a moment. Then blinked, shaking her head wearily. "Listen, I don't have the energy to deal with your mood swings right now. Stay here, go back to camp…jump off a cliff, I don't care. I'm going for a walk to clear my head."

With that, Kat turned, shoving her hands in her pockets as she went with a glance up at the dark sky. The clouds looked dark and angry, and Kat wondered if it was going to rain. She hoped so. Their water supply was running low.

A branch snapped and she turned her head to look behind her, eyes narrowing as a flash of irritation shot through her. "Seriously? Stop following me, Blake. Go away."

"Last I heard, you don't own this land. I can do whatever I like."

"Fine. Then can you quit stomping around like a blind toddler? If there are grounders out around here then you'd attract every last one of them."

She could feel his gaze burning into the back of her head. "What the hell has got your panties in a twist?" He asked. She snapped her head around to glare at him and her anger only intensified when she saw his amused smirk. He had definitely used that word on purpose.

"Nothing!" She snapped. An idea popped into her head and she swung around, eyes wide in a pleading expression. He frowned at her expression, automatically looking wary. "Blake. Today's my birthday," she told him, working hard to make her voice sound friendly and normal – less like she wanted to reach down his throat and pull out his intestines. "I would really, really appreciate it if, for my birthday, you could just let me have this time to myself as a present. Please."

"It's your birthday?" He hesitated, sounding sympathetic. She nodded, trying to hold back the triumphant grin that threatened to spread across her face. "I didn't know that."

"So you're going to head back to camp? Give me an hour or two?"

He thought about it for a moment, then looked back down at her, eyes dancing with amusement. "No."

Anger and frustration flashed through her gray eyes and she had to clench her fists to stop herself from socking him in the face. Her nostrils flared at the annoying, superior smirk on his lips and she spun on her heel again, walking quickly to try and escape him.

She had never met anyone more annoying in her entire life. Why did he have to follow her around when she felt so… so… she didn't even know how she felt. Her muscles vibrated with tension and her heart hurt from the storm of emotions running through her. She felt like a ticking time bomb and the last thing she wanted was for him to witness her break down. He would no doubt use it against him later.

"So how old are you now?" He asked conversationally, his voice grating on her already fraying nerves.

"18," she bit out, climbing over a log. A drop of water landed on her face, and she looked up through the trees, flinching when another one landed near her eye. No less than five seconds later, the sky opened up, water pouring down on them. She heard Blake grumbling under his breath behind her, but for the moment she didn't care. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head up to the sky, loving the soft feel of the water hitting her face and rolling down her neck. She stood there, listening to the rain hitting the leaves on the trees, and loving the muted sound of it permeating through the forest.

If nothing else, she was abundantly glad that she was alive and able to experience this.

"You're smiling," Blake observed, interrupting her brief moment of peace.

The smile slipped off her face as she opened her eyes to look at him. "That's because for a moment I forgot you were standing there," she said truthfully, her guard coming back up.

"Ouch," Blake exclaimed, pretending to look offended. "Kitten has her claws out today, doesn't she?"

Rolling her eyes, Kat brushed past him, not even sure where she was heading anymore. She didn't need to look behind her to know that Blake was once again following her.

"There's something I don't understand," he said, picking up his pace so he was walking beside her.

"No surprise there," Kat muttered spitefully under her breath.

He shot her a look but decided to ignore her comment. "Why would the grounders chop off Wells' fingers?"

Her chest tightened at the mention of her friend. For the millionth time, she wished that Blake had never come with her. "How am I supposed to know?"

"Maybe they took it as some sort of trophy," Blake mused, sounding like he was thinking out loud. The thought made Kat nauseous. Blake suddenly snorted. "It's kind of ironic, isn't it? The grounders had no idea they were killing the golden boy of the Ark. The almighty Chancellor of Earth isn't looking too powerful now, is he? I bet – "

Without thinking, without even hesitating, Kat turned Blake's shoulder with one had so he was facing her, and with her right, she slugged him across the face.

Blake let out a grunt of surprise as his head snapped to the side, a hand coming up to cup his jaw. He looked at her with eyes full of surprise and anger. "The fuck was that for?" He spat.

"You shut your fucking mouth, Bellamy Blake," Kat seethed, practically vibrating with righteous anger. "He's dead. Wells is dead and you're talking about him like – like –" She cut herself off, unable to even speak as the fiery anger burned through her. She turned around, then almost immediately spun back towards him, getting in his space. "He was a person, a _good_ person. He didn't deserve to die and he sure as shit doesn't deserve to be talked about by someone like you. What did he even do to you, anyway?"

Blake didn't back down from her anger, instead took a step toward her, his own fists clenched at his sides. "His father floated my mother and locked my sister up – "

Kat nearly screamed in frustration. "Did Wells make either of those decisions?" She demanded to know.

"No, but – "

"No, he didn't! You can't go blaming him for something that he didn't do. That was his father's decision. His father was the Chancellor of the Ark, not him."

Blake's eyes narrowed at the sound of her voice, and he seemed both surprised and curious at the emotion behind it. "Why are you getting so worked up over this? I don't – "

Kat harshly ran her hands through her hair, feeling herself tip over past her breaking point. The grief rushing over her was almost enough to send her to her knees.. Her chest was heaving and, she realized with horror, her throat felt tight. "Because he's gone!" She shouted suddenly, hating the vulnerability that she was allowing to show, to Blake of all people. "He was kind to me, he saved my life and even though I only really knew him a week, he was a…. he was a friend. Everyone that I've ever let close to me always ends up leaving and I can't take it. They're all gone!"

"I'm not," Blake said quietly, the soft sound of his voice startling her into silence. "I'm standing right here."

Kat panted, staring at him with wide eyes. _One heartbeat. _She took in the way the wet strands of his hair were plastered to his face. _Two heartbeats. _The way the raindrops clung to his eyelashes before rolling off. _Three heartbeats._ The way the rain made his shirt cling to the muscles of his chest. _Four heartbeats._ And the way his dark brown eyes burned into hers, never wavering. _Five heartbeats._

A different kind of fire was suddenly burning through her.

When she would look back on this moment later, she honestly couldn't explain the reasoning behind her sudden action. Temporary insanity? Mental breakdown? The need to feel something, anything other than the pain in her chest?

Her right hand reached out, twisting into the wet material of his shirt as she pulled him to her, crashing her lips to his. He didn't seem surprised by the sudden movement, and it almost seemed as if he were waiting for her to make the first move.

Like all the other times they kissed, any rational thoughts quickly fled from Kat's brain. There was only Blake and the warm, pleasurable feelings spreading through her. She was aware of his hand snaking around her waist, to palm the small of her back, his large hand scorching through her wet shirt. He pulled her flush against his body while his other hand went up to her ponytail, yanking out her hair tie so his hand could twist into the strands at the back of her neck, holding her in place.

Kat's hand unclenched from Blake's shirt, and she could feel his heart beating strong and fast. His mouth was firm and insistent upon hers, running his tongue along her bottom lip and urging her to open her mouth so his tongue could explore inside. In a bold movement that completely took her by surprise, Blake's hand moved down from her lower back to palm her ass, pulling her even closer to him. Their bodies crushed together even further, and a loud gasp escaped her mouth when she felt the evidence of how turned on he really was.

Blake pulled back slightly at the sound, and he stared down at her with wide, burning eyes. She flushed an even darker pink at the way he looked at her. A crooked grin worked his way onto his face. "Why, Kitten, if I didn't know any better – "

She didn't hear the words he was saying, only heard the deep, husky sound of his voice washing over her. "Shut the fuck up, Blake," she scolded breathlessly, standing on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck, determined not to let him walk away like he did last night. She was warm and flushed, and for the moment, she had no worries or fears. She only wanted more of this sweet madness. "You talk too much," she mumbled against his mouth, before possessively claiming his mouth once more.

She took control of the kiss this time, experimenting with her tongue and lips. She gently sucked his bottom lip into her mouth and heat pooled in her belly when Blake let out a rough groan, his hands tightening on her hips. Completely unaware that Blake had been moving forward, Kat let out a surprised gasp when her back suddenly hit against the tree behind her.

Blake used the opportunity to move his warm lips down her jaw and over her neck, nipping and kissing the newly exposed skin. Kat's head fell back without her even thinking about it, giving him easier access. She blinked up unseeingly into the rain, her mouth open as she desperately tried to get air into her lungs, her hands gripping tightly to his shoulders.

A slow grin spread across her face as she panted, feeling like she was floating up with the dark clouds in the sky. _More. _

She pushed frantically at the jacket he was wearing, and he helped her strip if off without lifting his face from her neck. She threaded her hands in his hair, and then slowly moved them down his neck, over his shoulders and down to his waist. They slipped under the hem of his shirt loving the feel of his warm, smooth skin. A shudder ran through him when her hands explored each contour of his six-pack.

She remembered the way he looked without his shirt and wanted – no _needed_ – to see it again. Struggling to lift the wet shirt over his head, she made an impatient noise, muttering darkly under her breath. Blake grinned against her neck, the small part of him that wasn't overcome with desire amused with her lack of patience. Pressing one more kiss to her collarbone, he pulled back, yanking his shirt off with one swift movement.

He moved in to kiss her once more, but was stopped by a hand to his face. He blinked at her, opening his mouth to ask her what the hell she was doing, but the words died in his throat when he saw the look on her face. Her eyes were roving over his chest, her eyes bright with arousal and her lip between her teeth.

She hadn't seen many half naked men, but she had to imagine that nobody came close to Blake's. It was perfect. And she had never felt hotter than she did right now.

She dropped her hand, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to the middle of his chest. Encouraged by his soft noise of surprise, Kat returned the favor, pressing hot, open mouthed kisses up to his shoulder, around his collarbone, by his neck and down the other side. Flicking her eyes up to his with a teasing grin on her face, Kat bent her knees slightly, starting at his belly button and licking straight up, following the line of his chest and catching the raindrops on her tongue.

His nostrils flared as he let out a low growl, the desperation obvious in his movements. Fisting a hand in her hair, he brought her mouth back to his for a searing, toe-curling kiss. Before she could blink her jacket was discarded somewhere on the forest floor. He wrenched open the buttons of her half button down shirt, pulling down the cup of her bra and exposing her breast. Before she could draw a breath or prepare herself, his mouth hungrily closed over her nipple.

She convulsed against him, a sharp cry echoing through the forest. He swirled his tongue in a delicious motion, before pulling down the other side of her bra and kissing his way across to the other breast to do the same thing to the other side. She clenched her jaw to stop herself from crying out again, her hands tightening in his hair as her eyes fluttered shut. She felt feverish and breathless, needing something that she wasn't sure how to get.

She ached almost painfully, and her hips involuntary thrust forward, seeking relief. Both of them paused, letting out loud moans.

His hands deftly opened the button of her pants, yanking down the zipper even as he knelt down to yank her boots off. She helped him pull the pants down, giggling slightly when he cursed as he struggled. He nipped at her hipbone in response, causing her to gasp.

When he finally pulled her pants off, she grabbed a handful of his hair, bringing back up so she could kiss him once more. She briefly wondered if it was possible to become addicted to someone's kisses. Because she didn't think she'd ever get tired of his soft, warm lips or the insistent, possessive way that he kissed her.

Their tongues met, drew back, then met again, exploring, discovering. His hands trailed down her sides, over her ass, then down to her thighs, lifting her up. He broke away, panting into her ear, "Wrap your legs around my waist." She did as he suggested, whimpering when their hips connected, her nails digging into his shoulders. "Relax," he whispered, kissing her again as his hand reached down between their bodies to gently cup her.

How the hell was she supposed to relax when these strong, intense feelings were rushing through her body?

"Blake," she pleaded, pushing against his hand. He made a soft, strained sound as he pushed her underwear aside, trying to get better access to touch her more fully, please her better. He braced her up against the tree, still holding her up with one hand as his hand brushed against her.

There was no barrier between his hand now, and her body clenched, the edges of her vision darkening for a moment. He slipped a finger inside her, and she was aroused enough that it was an easy penetration. She violently convulsed, throwing her head back without thinking so that it smashed against the tree, though at the time she could barely feel it.

She panted, writhing as the liquid heat continued to build in her lower stomach. She moaned, desperately holding on to Blake as he added another finger. Sweat began to mix with the rain running down her body. She was on fire, desperately searching for relief. She was vaguely aware of the haunted look on his face as he watched her closely in concentration.

"I can't – " she tried, unable to form sentences. "I need – "

"I know," Blake growled, continuing to move his fingers inside of her. "Look at me," he suddenly commanded. She shook her head at the sky, eyes wide, not understanding what was happening. "Give me your eyes, Katerina!" Blinking, she lowered her head so her eyes could connect with his, and she was almost undone at the look of need and desire in his eyes. He looked pale, a muscle jumping in his jaw.

She was climbing, spiraling, reaching – Blake caressed his thumb over her bundle of nerves once, twice, three times – and she was breaking apart with a surprised, strangled cry, struggling to keep her eyes open as wave after wave of pleasure broke over her. Her body jerked as his hand continued to move, intensifying her pleasure, before slowing down when the waves receded.

She slowly came back to herself. Panting, a lazy grin spread across her face as her body continued to have small pleasurable spasms of aftershocks. So this was what she had been missing. She had never fully understood what all the hype was, but now...

Her legs felt decidedly weak, and she was glad of Blake's viselike grip. Speaking of Blake – she refocused on him, and the look on his face caused her body to clench pleasurably once more. His eyes were wide and filled with what almost seemed like awe, though it didn't make any sense to Kat. What she was aware of, however, was his clenched jaw, and the rigid, tense way that he held himself. He almost looked like he was in pain.

She still throbbed and ached, and she found that she wanted more. She wanted _him._ Her eyes flickered down his body to where she had felt his hardness and arousal earlier, then back up to his eyes. Slowly, looking to see if he would stop her, her hand reached down to gently touch him.

He let out a loud hiss, his hips jerking into her hands and she snatched her hand away, startled, thinking that she had done something wrong. "No," he choked out in a strangled voice. "Please. Don't stop."

Frowning slightly in concentration, Kat reached out once more to touch him. He was able to control his reaction this time, his hips staying still as she gently explored with her fingers. Curious to see what he looked like, her hands fumbled to undo the button and zipper of his pants and she swiftly tugged them down along with his boxers.

His erection sprang free and her eyes widened at his size. _How was _that _supposed to fit inside of her?_

She hesitantly reached out to touch him, not really quite sure what she was doing. Sensing her innocent, uncertain gaze, Blake took her hand in his, guiding it down toward him. "Like this," he whispered, showing her how to hold him and move her hand. She was amazed by the feel of him, warm and soft, yet somehow hard as steel at the same time. Experimentally, she moved her hand, sliding it up to the tip, her eyes widening when a choked groan came from Blake.

She peeked up at him to see that his eyes had fluttered closed, his mouth open slightly. Knowing that she was causing his reaction, that he was hard for _her_, sent a rush of power and heat flowing through her body. She quickly decided that the noises coming from Blake was one of her favorite sounds and repeated the motion, tightening her grip slightly and gauging his reaction.

He groaned again, panting heavily as his hand shot out to pull hers away. She sent him a confused look. "You can play later," he said in a strangled voice, his molten brown eyes intense. "I need – "

She nodded instantly in understanding, the aching inside of her begging for attention. He shifted his grip on her, stepping closer, running his hand up and down his length once more and then she could feel him resting against her curls. She waited for him to move forward, looking up at him when he didn't. He claimed her lips in a short, hard, hungry kiss before breaking away, panting. "It hurts for girls," he whispered almost inaudibly. "You're more relaxed now and I can't – I can't wait any longer."

He slowly inched forward, and she gasped at the unfamiliar pressure as he entered her. He let out a part groan, part growl as he moved forward a little bit more. "Fuck," he groaned again. Kat however, was frowning at the uncomfortable feeling. She wasn't so sure she liked this bit. She wriggled a little to try and get used to it, but was stopped immediately when Blake grasped her hips, panting. "You're so tight," he bit out. "You're going to make me come." Another rush of heat flowed through Kat at the words and her hips moved again. "Stop!" Blake growled. "I don't want to hurt you!"

Kat paused at those words, watching as he struggled to stay in control. He stayed still for a moment before slowly inching forward once more. Kat gripped his upper arms tightly, her head dropping forward onto his shoulder. Desperate to distract herself from the uncomfortable feeling, Kat pressed small kisses wherever she could reach.

Suddenly and without warning Blake surged forward, breaking through her maidenhead. The pain was blinding, and without realizing it she bit hard into his shoulder to stop the scream that was climbing out her throat.

He gave a short cry at either his movement or the pain, she couldn't tell and she really couldn't care less at the moment. She was vaguely aware that he had frozen deep inside her, small shudders working through him, but she was pushing at his arms, involuntary tears mixing in with the rain.

"Holy fuck Blake, that hurt!" She snapped, feeling like she was broken in two. "Get off – "

"I know," he moaned into her neck. "I thought it would be easier to get it over with quickly. Relax, you're making it worse – "

"I don't – " He cut her off with a kiss, lips moving in a perfect rhythm to distract her from the pain. He didn't move his hips an inch, though she could tell he wanted to in the rigid distracted way he held himself. Gradually the pain began to fade and she flexed her muscles, testing to see if it still hurt.

Mouth still attached to hers, Blake withdrew a little and pushed back in, eliciting a groan from himself. Kat was relieved that she didn't feel any pain, though she did feel a little sore as well as uncomfortably stretched. He moved again, then again, his breathing getting so harsh that he had to break away from their kiss. He buried his head in her neck, as Kat clung to his shoulders, the soreness fading and pleasure beginning to stay over.

Blake's thrusts became deeper, faster, and the fire rose within Kat as she writhed against him, the bark from the tree biting into her back. He nipped, licked and sucked along her neck, and Kat's head fell back against the tree. Her pulse accelerated, then sky rocketed as her body began to climb once more, coiling tighter and tighter. He found his favorite spot on her neck, right near her pulse and he bit her gently, her legs tightening around his waist in response. Both of them groaned at the feeling, their movements becoming more frantic and sloppy.

Her body tensed as she continued to spiral higher, her nails raking down Blake's back, causing him to hiss in approval. "Oh god," she moaned in disbelief, her eyes fluttering shut.

"Eyes, Katerina," Blake commanded, causing her to snap them back open and fix on him. His face etched with pleasure and satisfaction, his brown eyes fierce and possessive. Her hands tangled in his hair, holding on for dear life. "C'mon, Kat," he urged in a strained voice, one hand leaving her waist to snake down between their bodies. His thumb got to work once more, and combined with the feel of him moving inside of her was just too much. She groaned desperately, somehow, impossibly still climbing. "I can't hold on much longer," he panted, his voice turning hard. "Let go, Kat!"

She almost broke eye contact at his admission, struggling to stop her eyes from rolling up into her head. She finally reached her peak and exploded around him, her sharp cry echoing through the forest around them, everything going fuzzy and hazy, the edges of her vision darkening.

Kat missed the look of triumph in Blake's eyes as he watched her come apart. Clenching his jaw, he picked up his speed moving with renewed power, fast and deep. His entire body went taut and his strangled groan turned into a hoarse cry as he shuddered, still thrusting against her, his release seeming to go on and on. He stopped deep inside of her, his forehead resting against hers as they panted, trembling.

Kat was boneless in his arms, finally sated, her eyes drifting shut. Looking just as out of it as she was, he shakily turned them around so his back was against the tree and sank to the forest floor, her legs on either side of his hips and him still buried deep inside of her. Her head was resting contentedly against his chest as she felt the cool rain washing the sweat from her body. She grumbled in discontent as he moved, but he only reached over to grab his jacket and bring it up over her shoulders so she was sort of protected from the rain. Sighing contentedly, she felt herself drifting off from sheer exhaustion.

Just before she did, however, she heard Blake murmur in a self-satisfied, yet sleepy tone, "Happy birthday, Kitten."

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**Author's Note: OH MY GODDDD. I can't believe I just wrote that. This is the first sex scene that I have ever written and published, and I worked so hard to make it perfect! How did I do? Would you guys want to see more of these scenes or was it so bad that I should just stop them altogether? Be honest!**

**I'm really looking forward to reading what you guys think and I really hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter. Please leave a review!**


	10. Aftermath

**Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm SO SO sorry about the huge delay. I just got a new job and combine that with grad school and my life has literally been work, classes and homework – I've had no time for writing! Plus, if I'm being honest with myself I was having such a hard time coming up with ideas to follow a chapter like the last one. So instead of waiting any longer and trying to perfect it, I'm posting what I've got! Special thanks to Dannylionthe1st for being an awesome beta!**

**I cannot thank you guys enough for your responses to the last chapter. I've never received so many reviews on any one chapter before and I'm so glad you all enjoyed it. I love each and every one of you!**

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Chapter 10: Aftermath

Kat stared up at the inside of her tent, arms laced behind her head. She had just woken up from the best sleep that she had in years. Her body still had that heavy, sated feel to it, and she kind of zoned out, listening contentedly to the sounds of the other delinquents walking and talking around her tent.

Yesterday had been… eye opening. Earth-shattering. Unexpected. Wrong. And yet, it had felt so damn good.

A trickle of guilt wormed its way through her contentment and she shut her eyes as a picture of Wells sprang up in her mind. She was supposed to be grieving for her friend, and instead she had done the only thing she could think of to make herself forget about the pain of losing him. And now here she was again, not grieving. Pushing him to the back of her mind as if he hadn't even existed.

Did that make her a terrible friend?

The flap of her tent suddenly burst open and Kat jumped, leaning up on her elbows to see who it was. "Hey Octavia, what's-"

"Come with me," Octavia said urgently, talking over her.

Kat frowned, taking in the serious look on her face. "Okay, let me just – "

"No time. Come on let's go."

Kat hastily got to her feet as Octavia pulled her head back. She winced at the movement, acknowledging the soreness between her legs, further evidence of what happened yesterday. Slipping on her boots, Kat jogged to catch up with Octavia. She tried to ask her where they were going and what was going on, but quickly fell silent at the pale, solemn look on Octavia's face.

Octavia led her through the camp and when Kat saw where they were headed she had to fight the sudden urge to just turn around and run in the opposite direction. She immediately broke into a sweat and had to put her hair up into a ponytail. There was no way she was ready for this! She thought she would have time to mentally prepare herself before she had to see him. What do you say to a person that thoroughly fucked you up against a tree in the pouring rain? A person that you didn't even like?

Before Kat could figure out what to do, Octavia was already bursting into Bellamy Blake's tent. Taking a deep breath, she followed. She briefly recognized Clarke and Jasper standing around Blake's makeshift table, staring at something, before she was looking at Blake himself.

Her body gave the strangest reaction. Her hands felt cold and tingly while the rest of her body felt hot. She had an extremely vivid flashback of Blake's hands on her waist, his hot lips kissing down her neck while he pounded in and out of her and she felt her eyes widen.

Her body reacted immediately and she knew without a doubt that she wanted a repeat of yesterday. Hopefully, multiple times.

"What's she doing here?" Blake asked, arms crossed as he stared down at her in disapproval.

Well if that didn't cool her body down, she didn't know what would. She made an effort to smooth out her expression, making her face go blank. If that was how he was going to play this, then fine.

"I invited her," Octavia said firmly, coming up to stand behind Jasper. "She needs to see this."

She looked over at Octavia who was frowning down at the table. Kat followed her gaze and it took her a second to realize what she was looking at. Horror spread through her. Two bloody brown fingers were lying on the table – Wells' fingers. "What the fuck?" She gasped, moving a hand out to touch them before snatching it back. "Where did you find them?"

"Outside the wall," Jasper answered, looking very pale.

Clarke slowly reached out and picked up the knife that was lying next to the fingers, examining it with a crease between her eyebrows. "This was made from metal from the dropship," she told them.

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked tremulously.

Kat's heart sank past her stomach and down to her toes. She knew what it meant. And by the look on Blake's face, so did he.

"Who else knows about this?" He asked.

"No one. We brought it straight here," Octavia said.

"It means the grounders didn't kill Wells," Clarke said, looking sickened. "It was one of us."

"So there's a murderer in the camp?" Jasper asked.

"There's more than one murderer in the camp," Blake said, sending a pointed look at Kat. She raised an eyebrow at him coldly. "This isn't news. We need to keep it quiet."

_What a fucking dick. _

Clarke shook her head, moving towards the opening of the tent, but Blake stepped in front of her. "Get out of my way Bellamy."

"Be smart about this. Look at what we've achieved – the walls, the patrols. Like it or not, thinking the grounders killed Wells is good for us."

"Oh good for you, you mean," Clarke snapped. "What? Keep people afraid and they'll work for you? Is that it?"

"Yeah, that's it. Fear of the grounders is building that wall. Besides what are you going to do, just walk out there and ask the killer to step forward? You don't even know whose knife that is – "

"Oh really?" Clarke mocked. "JM," she said, showing him an engraving on the inside of the knife's handle. "John Murphy."

There was a moment of silence, thick with tension, and Kat decided to step in. "Okay," she drawled loudly, moving over to Blake and Clarke who were still staring daggers at each other. "Not that it isn't entertaining watching you two go at it, but personally, I think both of you are wrong."

Clarke crossed her arms, turning her glare on Kat. "Enlighten us."

"You can't keep this quiet and let whoever did this get away with it," she said to Bellamy, keeping her eyes and voice cold and impersonal. "What if they go after someone else?" She turned to Clarke. "I also don't think you should go shouting around camp that Murphy's a killer. Some of these delinquents are unstable, and most of them already hate Murphy, myself included. Who knows what will happen?"

"The people have a right to know," Clarke snapped, brushing past both Kat and Bellamy and stepping outside.

Kat sighed, sharing a dark look with Octavia as Blake ignored her completely and followed Clarke outside. Kat hesitated a moment longer, thinking of the peaceful moments that she had spent this morning after she had woken up. She had a fleeting urge to crawl back into her tent, but the thought of Clarke going up against Murphy stopped her. She didn't trust Murphy not to do something stupid and hurt Clarke.

"You threatened to kill him, we all heard you!" Kat walked out to hear Clarke yelling at Murphy, her voice thick with emotion. Kat's eyes narrowed as she saw the large crowd that was beginning to form around Clarke and Murphy. People shifted uneasily and their faces were tense and angry. "You hated Wells!"

"Plenty of people hated Wells. His father was the Chancellor that locked us up – "

"Yeah but you're the only one that got in a knife fight with him!"

"Yeah but I didn't kill him then, either."

"You tried to kill Jasper, too!" Octavia chimed in. Kat could have hit her as more angry muttering broke out.

She edged closer to Blake, shoving her hands in her pockets. "Shut this down, Blake," she advised in a soft voice. "Listen to them. This isn't going to end well."

Blake ignored her, not even sparing her a glance.

"C'mon this is ridiculous," Murphy cried, the nerves evident in his voice as he stared around at the crowd. "I don't have to answer to you, I don't have to answer to anyone!"

"Come again?" Blake asked casually.

"Bellamy," Murphy implored, moving toward him. "Look, I'm telling you man, I didn't do this."

Blake leaned toward him, arms still crossed. "They found his fingers on the ground with your knife."

"Is this the kind of society that we want?" Clarke cried. "You say there should be no rules. Does that mean that we can kill each other without – without punishment?"

"Clarke," Kat tried again, stepping forward. "If Murphy killed Wells, then he deserves punishment. But this isn't the way. Let's talk about this in private – "

"I already told you I didn't kill anyone," Murphy said angrily, overriding her.

"I saw we float him!" Connor shouted. There were murmurs of agreement throughout the crowd, and Kat saw a brief look of panic and confusion flicker over Clarke's face.

"That's not what I'm saying," Clarke insisted.

"Why not? He deserves to float, it's justice!"

"Revenge isn't justice – "

"It's justice. Float him!" Connor shouted again, and Kat looked around, slowly taking her hands out of her pockets as people eagerly took up the chant.

It all spun out of control so fast. Murphy started furiously toward Connor, but someone tripped him and he fell to the ground. Kat lost sight of him as the crowd converged, kicking and punching any inch of Murphy's body that they could reach.

Kat fought the wave of people, heading towards Clarke who was screaming at everyone to stop. She pulled her to the side, out of the way of flying fists. Clarke shook her off, turning to her with wide horror filled eyes. "This isn't what I wanted to happen! We need to stop them – " She broke off, freezing as she watched someone gag Murphy and drag him over to the tree, looping a rope around his neck and throw it over the branch. "You can't do this!" Clarke screamed, rushing over to help.

Connor caught her arms to stop her and Kat stepped forward shoving him away from her. "Hands off," Kat warned.

She looked up at Murphy's terror filled eyes, barely visible on his bloody face as they pulled him up. She hated Murphy, but no one deserved this kind of death.

Furious, she turned to Blake. "What kind of fucking leader are you?" She yelled over the shouting, her gray eyes flashing as he finally looked at her.

Clarke joined her, giving Blake a shove. "You can stop this, they'll listen to you!"

For some reason, there was a slightly lost look on Blake's face.

"Bellamy," Connor called. "You should do it! Bellamy! Bellamy!"

"Enough with the fucking chants already," Kat yelled, looking up at Murphy's face once more. They needed to do something fast.

"I saw you in the woods with Adam," Clarke cried passionately. "I know you're not a killer! Bellamy… don't do this – "

Kat watched with disbelief as Bellamy walked over, ignoring Clarke's cries to stop and kicked whatever was holding Murphy up.

"How could you?" She dimly heard Clarke cry, giving him another shove.

"This is on you, princess!" Bellamy yelled furiously, finally speaking up. "You should have kept your mouth shut."

Kat was staring up at Murphy as he struggled, squirming in a desperate attempt of free himself. This wasn't right. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. "Cut him down!" Kat yelled, pointing up at him. She shoved Blake back another step, ignoring the warning flash in his eyes. "He can't breath, cut him down!"

Finn came out of nowhere, struggling to get to Murphy in an attempt to help him and through all the yelling and the fighting they heard a young girl say, "Enough okay! Murphy didn't kill Wells! I did."

Kat didn't stop to think, using everyone's shock as a distraction. She slipped the axe out of Blake's belt. "Clarke!" She yelled, tossing her the axe. Clarke caught it and rushed forward, chopping Murphy down where he fell to a heap, barely breathing.

Slowly Kat turned to see who had spoken and for some reason wasn't as shocked as she thought she would be. It was Charlotte.

For a moment the group was silent, the only sound they heard was Murphy's raspy breaths. With a quick flick of her eyes, Kat took in the shocked and suspicious crowd. She was the first to move, grabbing Charlotte's hand and dragging the scared girl away from the other delinquents.

As she headed towards Blake's tent, two overwhelming urges battled inside her. Part of her wanted to shake Charlotte and scream at her for the stupid, irresponsible way that she had acted. Wells was her friend and now he was dead because of this small, thirteen year old girl. The other part of her identified with Charlotte completely. She knew what it was like to be that young, that tormented by fear that she didn't know what else to do.

But why? Why had she killed Wells?

Kat pushed Charlotte inside the tent and immediately started pacing, full of raw anger and nervous energy. Twice she rounded on Charlotte, mouth opening to yell at her but swallowed it at the last minute, all too aware of the girl's terrified brown eyes.

They heard movement outside and Blake, Clarke and Finn stepped inside the tent. "Bring out the girl, Bellamy!" They heard Murphy yell, the fury evident in his voice.

"Why Charlotte?" Blake asked, in a desperate sort of tone.

"Because I was just trying to slay my demons, like you told me!" Charlotte said.

"What the hell is she talking about?" Clarke demanded.

"She misunderstood me – Charlotte that is not what I meant-"

Kat couldn't contain herself any longer. "Didn't you listen to anything I told you?" She snapped. The girl flinched and Kat took a deep breath, struggling to calm herself. "I told you my story. I told you I slayed my demons when I was your age and that it did nothing for me! Well? Do you feel better now, Charlotte? Now that you _murdered_ an innocent person? Are all of your demons gone?"

"Hey, that's enough," Blake interrupted angrily, grabbing Kat's arm and pulling her away. "Back off, Kat."

Kat's grey eyes flashed as she wrenched her arm away from him. She didn't trust herself not to start yelling again if she opened her mouth, so she kept it shut and turned away from him.

"I'm sorry. Please don't let them hurt me," Charlotte whimpered on the verge of tears as they listened to Murphy yell again.

"If you have any bright ideas, now would be a good time to speak up," Blake said, but the three of them stood there, quiet and uncertain. "Oh, now you stay quiet," he snarled, displeased.

"Those are your boys out there - " Finn said.

"This is not my fault! If she had listened to me, those idiots would still be building the wall."

"Please, Bellamy," Charlotte cried.

Blake bent down, placing his hands on Charlotte's shoulders and speaking softly. "Hey, it's going to be okay. Just – stay with them."

He ducked out of the tent and there was a moment of silence. Kat looked at Clarke. "We need to hide her, get her out of the camp. You guys have any ideas?"

Clarke and Finns' eyes lit up as they shared a look and Clarke nodded. "Yeah, we might have one."

"Good," Kat said, putting a hand on Clarke's arm. "Keep her safe."

She ducked out of the tent after Blake, crossing her arms as she came up next to him. If this was going to come down to a fight she was going to take down as many of these idiots as she could. Though she couldn't quite explain to herself why. Charlotte had murdered her friend and Bellamy was the ground's biggest ass. Why was she helping either of them?

"Who here wants to see the real murderer hung up?" Murphy was shouting to the waiting crowd. "All in favor?" People looked around, but only a handful of people had raised their hands. Kat noticed that it was all of Murphy's gang.

Murphy looked pissed. "I see. So it's okay to string me up for _nothing,_ but when this little bitch confesses, you wanna let her walk? Cowards, all of you – "

"Hey, Murphy!" Blake strode forward, his voice getting all deep and angry. "Murphy! It's over."

"Whatever you say, boss," Murphy conceded, raising his hands.

Blake turned to head back to the tent. "Look out!" Kat shouted, leaping forward, but she was too late. Murphy had grabbed a thick wooden log and hit Blake on the head, knocking him out. He swung at Kat too, making her roll to the side to avoid getting hit.

She heard Octavia screaming and looked up in time to see Murphy punch Jasper in the nose before heading off to the tent. A moment later he started yelling again, and Kat smirked in relief. Finn and Clarke had gotten Charlotte out just in time.

She stood, brushing dirt and leaves off her pants before going over to Octavia who was kneeling next to Blake, a bloody Jasper next to her. "Your brother can be a huge fucking idiot," she told her shortly.

A short while later, Kat was standing near the camp's water supply with Octavia who was soaking a rag for the cut on Blake's head. He was lying in his tent, still passed out cold.

"How did that get out of control so fast?" Octavia asked softly, sounding tired, wringing out the rag.

"Survival," Kat mused thoughtfully, her mind on both Murphy and Charlotte. "It's selfish, and it's dark, but we've always been a species willing to do anything to satisfy our needs. Individuals have morals. Mobs have appetites. It's like a fire. One person has an idea and it sparks, catching quickly until it consumes everyone and everything."

"It doesn't hurt that almost everybody in the camp hates Murphy," Octavia pointed out. "At least we're not all so sick that we wanted to do the same thing to Charlotte." They headed back towards Blake's tent. "What's going on between you and my brother?" Octavia asked out of nowhere.

"What do you mean?" Kat asked, stalling for time, her heart pounding in her chest.

Octavia was frowning. "He seems to be extra douche-y to you today. Did something happen between the two of you?"

Kat felt her eye twitch. Feigning calmness, Kat resorted to sarcasm and rolled her eyes. "Nothing in particular that I can remember. Everything I do seems to piss him off." _Almost anything_, she added in her mind.

"I don't know, he just seems…" Her voice trailed off as they entered. Kat's eyes flicked around quickly, but it didn't change the fact that the tent was empty and Blake was gone. "That stupid idiot!" Octavia exploded. "He nearly gets his head bashed in and he goes tearing off into the pitch black woods by himself."

Kat shook her head. "I don't know what it is about that girl, but Blake really seems to care for her."

"It's because he's so damn overprotective," Octavia said, rolling her eyes as they headed back outside. "Bellamy practically raised me, you know. So he sees a young, naïve thirteen year old girl and he goes into big brother mode."

Something clicked into place in Kat's head. So that was why Blake acted so different around Charlotte. When he looked at her, he saw a younger Octavia. Kat didn't quite know how to reconcile this Blake with the image she already had of him – a selfish, power-hungry wanna be leader.

She looked at Octavia, the good-hearted yet slightly impulsive girl that Bellamy had raised fairly well. Her eyes kept flickering to the dark forest and Kat knew she was worrying about her brother.

"Hey," Kat said gently, bumping Octavia with her shoulder. "He's going to be fine. He's so pigheaded and stubborn – he won't let anything bad happen to himself. Besides, Clarke and Finn are out there. Maybe they don't always get along, but they'll work together to help Charlotte."

"I know. I just want to be out there, helping them," Octavia said, frustration clear in her voice.

"It won't help trying to find them in the dark. You might get lost or run into a grounder or something. They'll be back soon." They both lapsed into silence, watching the forest.

"Hey Kat." Kat blinked to see Miller standing in front of her, a smile on his face.

"Miller, hi," she said, giving him a curious look. "What's up?"

"Nothing. Monroe and I were talking about getting together and practicing some knife throwing and defensive techniques. I was just wondering if you wanted to join us – "

"Why?" Kat asked bluntly.

Miller looked flustered. "Well – I just, just remembered how you helped me out with the knife the other day and figured you could maybe give us some pointers – "

"No I mean why are you guys meeting to practice?"

Miller turned serious, his eyebrows drawing together. "With all that's happened recently with the grounders and Wells, and now with Murphy and Charlotte… I don't know. I guess I just figured it might be smart to learn how to defend ourselves."

Octavia nodded as she listened. "A lot of people are feeling anxious and sort of helpless," she said to Kat. "Maybe this is a good idea – "

"No it's not," Kat retorted. "Listen, I'm not a teacher or anything I don't know what you guys want – "

"She's a good teacher," Octavia said to Miller, ignoring Kat completely. "A little harsh and unforgiving at times, but she knows what she's talking about."

"You've worked with her?" Miller asked in surprise. Seriously, it was like Kat wasn't even standing there.

"Yeah a few times. Why don't you guys join us? Kat likes to work in the morning, bright and early. Want to start tomorrow?"

"Do I get a say in this at all?" Kat asked, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation.

"No," they both said, grinning.

Miller chuckled at the look on Kat's face. "I'll be there. See you tomorrow, Kat," he said, giving her a wink before walking away.

Octavia waited until he was out of sight before she burst out laughing at the bewildered look on Kat's face. "He is _definitely_ into you," she said once she could breathe again.

"What?" Kat laughed in surprise. "He is not, Octavia, get your head out of the clouds."

"Kat, he not only went out of his way to invite you to his little training session but did you not see the look and _the wink_ he gave you?"

"You're being ridiculous."

"And you're in denial. Miller is hot, you should be all over that."

Kat tilted her head to the side, considering. She could see what Octavia meant, though she had never really given it much thought – most of her thoughts regarding the opposite sex were centered around Blake. For a brief moment, she allowed her mind to wander, wondering what it would have been like if it had been Miller she was with yesterday and not Blake.

Realizing what she was doing, she shook her head, reddening slightly. Octavia grinned, though it faded quickly as she looked out into the forest. "Do you think Bellamy and Charlotte are okay?" She asked softly.

Kat sighed, frowning. "I don't know, Octavia. I'm sure they'll be back soon."

And they were, over an hour later. Kat, who had been sitting outside her tent, stood as she saw the group emerge from the forest. Her eyes widened, then narrowed as she took them in. Murphy was missing, as was Charlotte, but that wasn't what she focused on. Her eyes zeroed in on Clarke's tearstained face, Blake's tortured, furious expression and the resigned, hopeless look in Finn's eyes.

Frowning, she strode up to Clarke, who looked completely and utterly defeated. "Clarke. What happened out there? Where are Murphy and Charlotte?"

"Charlotte… she - she jumped off a cliff."

"Son of a bitch – what? Why?"

"She didn't want Murphy to hurt anymore of us. She felt so guilty for what she had done that she committed suicide."

"And Murphy?"

Clarke's face hardened at the mention of his name. "Banished. Bellamy and I are holding a meeting, we'll explain everything."

Kat crossed her arms and stood to the side as Blake and Clarke stood in front of the fire, the rest of the camp surrounding them. They explained what happened out in the woods, and their reasoning behind banishing Murphy instead of killing him. She could see the strain and tension in both Blake's and Clarke's faces and cursed the Ark for putting them in this position. This is what happens when "responsible" adults send 100 kinds to the ground without any knowledge of what was really going on down here.

Kat's eyes roved over the dirty crowd and was once again drawn to Blake. She recognized the hopeless fury that was barely contained behind his brown eyes, and felt a prickle of sorrow for him. He had obviously cared for Charlotte, and now she was dead.

When the meeting was over, she followed Blake outside the walls of the camp and over to the makeshift cemetery that they had started. He was staring down at the graves with a blank expression on his face.

"Blake?" She called, tentatively walking closer. "I'm sorry about Charlotte."

"We don't even have a body that we can bury," he said in a hollow voice.

Kat didn't know what to say to make him feel better. She knew what he was going through – she had been through it just yesterday. Unsure of how to help, she hesitantly walked closer, placing a hand on his arm. "Blake – "

"Don't touch me," he muttered coldly.

Narrowing her eyes, half in hurt and half in anger she withdrew her am. "What is wrong with you? What the fuck happened between yesterday, when you couldn't keep your hands off me, to now? What, you fuck me once and that's it, you don't want anything else to do with me?"

"And what if it is?" Blake challenged, brown eyes alight with anger as he got into her personal space. "I go after what I want, Kat, and it's not you. Go throw yourself at someone else today."

"Throw myself – " Kat repeated in disbelief. "Are you fucking kidding me? Don't act like you didn't enjoy it – "

"Well sure. A semi attractive girl throws herself at me, what was I supposed to do? I'm only a man, after all."

Kat let out a hollow laugh. "You're a pathetic excuse for a human being is what you are, Bellamy Blake. I understand you're hurting over what happened with Charlotte and Murphy, but that does not give you an excuse to lash out at someone who's just trying to help. I'll take my semi-attractive self elsewhere and I'll be sure not to bother you anymore."

She turned and walked away, anger still roaring through her veins.

* * *

**Bellamy's POV**

Bellamy watched Kat walk away, feeling worse than he had before, though slightly relieved at the same time. He couldn't look at her, couldn't even think about her without being reminded of what happened yesterday in the rain.

The way her wide grey eyes had looked at him, full of lust, anticipation and wonder, the taste of her lips mingled with the rain and the unabashed sounds she had made that nearly made him lose his mind. Even thinking about it made him harden slightly, and he looked quickly around to make sure Kat had really gone, blushing a little. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in her again, to make her come undone underneath him, but honestly, he felt uncertain around her. He was quite sure that he could very easily become too attached or even slightly addicted to Katerina Hale. And that was something he didn't want or need.

There were plenty of reasons, of excuses he told himself. He didn't want to grow to close to anyone down here – the body count was rising and he had experienced enough loss and suffering in his life. She was several years younger then him, and sheltered and naïve in many ways. He didn't need her becoming too attached and clingy to him either. And opening yourself up to anyone only leads to more pain and heartache. He had Octavia and he didn't need anyone else in his life.

It was no good though. Even now, the only girl he wanted in his bed was her. Not that she'd want anything to do with him now.

He needed to forget, to distract himself. From Charlotte, from Murphy and from Kat.

As he walked back into the camp, a tall girl with caught his eye and gave him a seductive grin. Bellamy forced everything else from his mind, allowing his own lips to curve up in response. The tall girl, Roma was what everybody else called her, nudged her pretty blonde friend next to her and nodded towards him.

They both started walking in his direction and Bellamy had no doubt about what was on their minds. This was perfect… it was just what he needed.

That was what he told himself anyway.

* * *

**Author's Note: So there we are. Sorry if it's a little bit of a filler chapter, but now I feel like I can focus on all the drama that's coming up. I didn't feel it was right to skip over what happened to Charlotte and I wanted to give you guys a little peek into what Kat and Bellamy are thinking.**

**Let me know what you guys think, even if it's constructive criticism. **

**I've also updated Your Biggest Mistake so be sure to give that a read as well! And of course, as always, leave a review :)**


	11. Hot and Cold

**Author's Note: Thank you SO much for your wonderful reviews! Since you guys were so fantastic and understanding of my current situation, I worked extra hard to get this chapter up as soon as possible! Thank you Dannylionthe1st for the quick turnaround and being an awesome beta!**

**I had a lot of fun writing this chapter – hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did!**

* * *

Chapter 11: Hot and Cold

Hours later, Kat was still fuming, though now her anger had cooled down to an icy fury that coursed through her veins with every beat of her heart. She cursed him out in her head, running through every expletive in her vocabulary as she paced around her small tent, unable to sit still.

If he wanted to be an ass and push her away then _fine. _It's not like she wanted to be friends or anything like that, but if he wanted her or her body again, then she was going to make him beg for it, preferably on his knees. She was finished doing what other people wanted, done being told what to do. For the first time in her life she was free to live as she wanted to live, and she wasn't going to stand being blatantly mistreated. _Fuck Bellamy Blake._ She didn't need him.

Struggling to contain the anger, Kat flopped onto the floor, laying down with her arms to the sides, her eyes closed. She closed her eyes, taking deep, calming breaths, counting down from 100 in her head. Eventually her muscles relaxed and she felt relatively human again. At least less like she wanted to punch Blake in the face, rip off his testicles and stuff them down his throat.

A sudden commotion outside of her tent caught her attention and she frowned, stepping out to look. Glancing around, she saw Octavia and Miller standing close by and hurried over to them. "Hey, what's going on?"

Miller saw her and grinned, eyes twinkling. "Hey Kat, wanna wish upon a shooting star? Make it something good and it just might come true."

She saw Octavia raise her eyebrows pointedly behind Miller's back and Kat couldn't help but smile. "Shooting star? What's that?"

"It's like this rock in space that shoots across the sky and…" Miller's voice trailed off as he frowned for a second, thinking. He shook his head, his expression clearing and his smile returning. "I don't know. You're supposed to make a wish when you see one."

"Why?"

He opened his mouth and closed it again. "I don't know. Why do you ask so many questions?"

Kat chuckled at his frustrated expression, putting her hands in her pockets as she looked up at the shooting star in the sky. It really was quite beautiful and for a moment she wondered exactly how it happened. Her grin faded slowly the longer she stared. It seemed like the shooting star was moving closer, coming towards them.

"I don't think that's a shooting star," Octavia said slowly, coming up next to Kat. "Bellamy!" She shouted in the direction of his tent. "Bellamy, get out here!"

Kat's jaw clenched as Bellamy burst out of his tent without his shirt on, his pants riding low on his hips, but that was the only indication that she noticed his arrival. She watched the object in the sky coming closer and soon it became apparent that it was some type of ship.

"They're sending someone to help us!" A voice cried, and there was excited and relieved mutterings spreading throughout the growing crowd.

"Now we can finally kick some grounder ass!" Came another voice.

People were smiling and cheering now, and everyone looked thrilled. Everyone…except one person. Kat's narrowed eyes were now on Blake, taking in his expression with suspicion. He didn't look happy. He looked resigned and even a little scared. Here was a person who had done everything he could to make sure the Ark thought they were dead, and now that someone was coming down to the ground? What was he so afraid of?

Blake stalked off towards the command center tent, Octavia and Miller hot on his heels, but Kat headed in the opposite direction. There were two leaders vying for control of the delinquents, Blake, who stepped up for his own personal, twisted reasons and Clarke, who was someone who had probably never considered leading, but stepped up in order to protect the people from harm.

Right now Kat was on Team Clarke. She headed towards Clarke's tent and looked inside, but she wasn't there. She wasn't in the dropship either, and Kat didn't see her wandering around with the others.

Jasper passed by, and Kat grabbed his arm. "Hey, have you seen Clarke anywhere?"

He shook his head. "No, sorry. You might want to ask Finn though, those two have been pretty close lately."

"Alright, thanks." She turned on her heel, heading towards Finn's tent, but he wasn't there either. "Shit," she muttered, looking out once more into the crowd of people, her eyes flicking back and forth.

Miller came up to her, a bag slung over his shoulder. "Hey."

"Hey," Kat said, her eyes looking at him for a second before resuming her search. "What did our fearless leader have to say?"

"We're waiting till morning before we go find the ship."

"Really?" Kat asked with mingled surprise and suspicion. "He wants to wait? What if the grounders get there first?"

Miller shrugged. "He said it's too dangerous in the dark with all the grounders out there. I'm gathering some supplies for the trip, want to help me?"

Kat who had just found what she had been looking for, gave him a quick smile. "Sorry Miller, I can't right now. I'll see you later for training, okay?"

She hurried away, missing the disappointed look on Miller's face.

"Where have you been?" She hissed when she reached Clarke and Finn, looking between them furiously. "Did you just come from outside the wall? Did you see what fell from the sky? And what the hell happened to your hair, Blondie?"

She watched in confusion as Clarke turned red and hastily ran a hand through her messy hair. "None of your business," Clarke said, stepping past her but indicating that she should follow. "Where's Bellamy? Is he getting people together to search for the ship?"

"I don't know where he is, but he wants to wait until morning. _Please_ tell me, we're not going to do that."

"No," Clarke said firmly, her face set and they drew closer to Blake's tent. "We're definitely not."

Clarke ducked into his tent, Kat right behind her, her eyes searching the tent for Blake, but he wasn't there. That didn't mean the tent was empty, however. Kat looked from the tall, half-naked brunette to the petite blonde that was still under the blanket. Her brain stuttered for a moment, but then the realization slammed into her, her jaw clenching against the nauseous feeling rising in her gut. Blake had slept with her one day, then pushed her away and fucked these two girls the next. It still smelled musky in the tent. It smelled like sex.

She felt disgusted. Used. Furious all over again.

"Ever hear of knocking, bitch?" The brunette snarled, quickly snatching up a piece of clothing to cover herself. Kat quickly snapped back to the present as Finn stepped inside after them. "Oh, great it's a free show."

"Where the hell is Bellamy?" Clarke asked.

"He took off awhile ago."

"The gear's gone," Finn noted quietly.

"He told everyone to stay. Whatever's in that thing, he wants it. We've got to get there before he does," Clarke said before hurrying out of the tent.

"I should have known he would do something like this," Kat muttered, berating herself, pushing the girls from her mind.

Clarke looked at her and a moment of shared understanding passed between them. "We should have anticipated this," she agreed.

"You can't predict what people are going to do," Finn protested as they entered the forest.

"That's exactly what we have to do," Clarke argued hotly. "I screwed up – let myself get distracted." Finn slowed down slightly, a flash of hurt crossing his face.

Kat frowned again. What was going on between those two?

"Come on, the ship landed this way," Clarke urged, picking up the pace. "We need to get there before Bellamy does."

They ran for hours, mostly in silence as the sun began to peek through the thick clouds. By the time the ship finally came into view it was lightly raining.

"I'll go check around, see if Bellamy's anywhere close by," Finn said before heading off to the right.

Clarke headed towards the ship, but Kat grabbed her arm quickly. "Be careful," she warned. "That ship is from the Ark and we don't know what or who's in there. Remember what they did to us."

Clarke nodded solemnly before starting forward again, more cautiously than before. With a deep, steadying breath, Clarke grasped the handle of the door and pulled it open. "Oh my god," Clarke gasped.

"What?" Kat said curiously, shoving Clarke to the side so she could see inside as well. "What – " Kat gaped inside, staring at the teenage girl with blood covering her face. "Oh, uh… hi."

"Hi," the girl said back, looking shocked herself. "I made it?"

Clarke nodded, a relieved smile on her face. Reaching inside carefully, Clarke and Kat helped the girl out of the small pod and the suit that she was wearing.

The girl slowly stood, her eyes moving over the grass and the dirt, the trees and the sky. With her arms outstretched she revolved slowly in a circle, a smile on her face. Kat recognized the emotions flicking across the other girls face. Wonder, awe, fascination and amazement – they were all emotions that Kat felt when she had landed on the ground herself. She sighed softly. That felt like a lifetime ago.

"I dreamed it would smell like this," the girl said to them, the smile still on her face. "Is this rain?"

Clarke nodded. "Welcome home."

Finn appeared in the distance, slowing down when he saw the extra person. "Raven!" He shouted, running towards them.

The girl in the red jacket turned, and when she saw him, her smile grew. "Finn!" Raven met him halfway and they embraced. Kat realized she was watching their reunion with a small smile on her face, and quickly smoothed out her expression, making sure no one noticed. "I knew you couldn't be dead," she heard Raven whisper.

Finn quickly glanced over at Clarke uncertainly before turning back. "You're bleeding."

"I don't care," Raven breathed, and Kat's eyebrows rose in surprise as she pulled him in for a kiss.

"Wow," Kat murmured to Clarke, looking over at her. "I guess they know each other, huh?" Kat frowned at Clarke's pale, stunned expression. She looked…shattered. "Clarke? What's wrong?"

"I'm such an idiot," Clarke muttered, shaking her head.

"What are you talking about?"

They both looked around as Raven stumbled, lightheaded. Finn helped her sit on a rock, giving her his jacket before jogging over to Clarke, who was rummaging in her bag. "I'm sorry," Finn said sincerely.

"Let's not talk about this," Clarke said with a quick glance at Kat.

"We've known each other our whole lives – "

"We don't need to talk about it!" Clarke insisted. "We need to put pressure on the wound."

They headed over towards Raven, but Kat followed more slowly a sort of blank expression on her face as her brain made a few connections. The secretive, lingering looks that Clarke and Finn had been giving each other for the past couple days, the way both of them were missing earlier tonight, how they came back at the same time, Clarke's hair a mess. The look on Clarke's face as she watched Finn kiss this other girl, and Finn's apology.

Her jaw flopped open. Clarke and Finn slept together. Holy shit.

"Kat?" Her eyes focused on Finn and she snapped her jaw shut.

"Hm? What?"

"Kat this is Raven. Raven this is Kat and Clarke, they were on the drop ship with me."

"Clarke?" Raven repeated, her eyes on the blonde as she got to her feet once more. "This is all because of your mom. This was all her plan, we were trying to come down here together we waited…" Her voice trailed off as a thought occurred to her, panic flitting in her eyes. "We were waiting because the council was voting whether to kill 300 people to save air."

"When?" Clarke demanded.

"Today. We have to tell them you're alive!" Raven said urgently, hurrying past them back towards the pod. "The radio's gone," she said after a moment.

"Son of a _fucking bitch._" Kat swore harshly. "We were too late."

"Someone got here before us," Clarke told Raven. "We have to find him."

Kat bit back another curse as they took off running once more. As they ran, Kat tried to picture 300 people in her mind. The enormity of it frightened her. 300 people were going to die if they couldn't contact the Ark. How would they do it? Just shut off the air in one part of the ship?

"Hey," Clarke shouted once they caught sight of Blake walking up ahead. Running up to him, she grabbed his arm and spun him around. "Where is it?"

"Hey princess," Blake said disinterestedly. "Out for a walk in the woods?"

"They're getting ready to kill 300 people out there, to save oxygen. And I can guarantee you it won't be council members. It'll be working people, your people."

"Bellamy!" Finn charged forward, shoving him a step back. "Where's the radio?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Bellamy said, shoving Finn in return and getting in his face.

"Bellamy Blake?" Raven asked, staring him down. "They're looking everywhere for you."

"Shut up," Blake spat.

"What?" Kat asked, speaking for the first time. "Why?"

"He shot Chancellor Jaha," Raven told them, daring him to deny it.

There was a long moment of silence as they all tried to process this information. "You.. you shot – why?"

Blake looked at her and from that one look she knew. Octavia. He would do anything for his sister, but why did that include shooting the Chancellor?

"That's why you took the wristbands," Clarke said suddenly. "You needed everyone to think we were dead."

"And all that whatever the hell we want," Finn added, giving him a disgusting look. "You just care about saving your own skin."

Rolling his eyes, Bellamy turned and began to walk away. Raven wasn't going to let him go without a fight, apparently. "Hey, shooter! Where's my radio?"

"I should've killed you when I had the chance," Bellamy muttered darkly.

"Really? Well I'm right here," she taunted.

Kat, Clarke and Finn rushed forward as Blake grabbed Raven and slammed her up against a tree, but they needn't have worried. Raven whipped a knife out of nowhere and was holding a small knife to Blake's throat. "Where's my radio?" She repeated softly.

A brief look of amusement crossed Kat's face as she looked between the two of them. "I think I'm going to like her," she said out loud to no one.

"Stop it," Clarke said loudly, ignoring Kat completely.

Blake and Raven stared at each other for another moment, then Blake finally stepped back. "Jaha deserved to die, you all know that," he said, walking away once more.

"Yeah, he's not my favorite person either," Raven said to his retreating back loudly. "But he isn't dead."

Blake froze. Slowly, he turned around to face them and it almost hurt Kat to see the disbelieving hope that was shining in his eyes. "What?" He murmured softly.

"You're a lousy shot."

"Bellamy," Clarke said emphatically, walking towards him. "Don't you see what this means? You're not a murderer. You always did what you have to do to protect your sister, _that's_ who you are. And you can do it again, by protecting 300 of your people. Where's the radio?"

"It's too late," he said, sounding defeated. "I tossed it in the river."

"Where?" Clarke demanded.

"A couple miles back that way – " Before he had even finished speaking, Clarke was marching off in that direction, a determined look on her face. With a last, long look at Blake, Raven and Finn followed her.

Kat and Blake were left standing there, staring after them. A sudden thought crossed Kat's mind and she snorted with laughter before she could stop herself.

"What?" Blake snapped, rounding on her. "What could possibly be so fucking funny at a time like this?"

Kat wasn't at all affected by his bad temper. "It's not really funny, actually," she said, though a smile was still on her face. "It's just – well we needed the radio down here in order to talk to the Ark about medicine and supplies and all that. And the Ark needed the radio to know that we were alive so they won't kill 300 people and instead think about coming down here. When you threw that radio in the river, you _literally_ screwed the entire human race."

Blake gaped at her furiously for a minute, and Kat had to bite her cheek to stop from laughing at the look on his face. It wasn't a laughing matter, not at all. It was actually really inappropriate and Kat figured she'd better get walking before it got her into trouble.

"What?" Blake called after her, and she heard him walking quickly to catch up to her, swinging around in front of her so she had to stop. He stared down at her, hands on his hips. "You're not going to give me some lecture on what a terrible leader I am? You're not going to blame the possible deaths of 300 people on me?"

Kat rolled her eyes. "You already know that I think you're a terrible leader, I've told you multiple times. But I don't blame you for the possible deaths of those 300 people."

Blake blinked in surprise. She could feel his incredulous eyes on her, and he actually took a step forward. "You don't?"

"No," she answered honestly, her voice hard. "I blame you for destroying the only hope of us contacting the Ark – though personally I'm not too upset about it. But it was the Ark's decision to kill 300 people. You had no part in that."

Kat looked up and that was a big mistake. She was immediately caught in his intense, unreadable brown gaze. For a moment she was drawn in and the crackling heat between them rose to a crescendo. Then a picture of the two half-naked girls from Blake's tent rose up in her mind, along with his words, "_I go after what I want, Kat, and it's not you. Go throw yourself at someone else today."_

Her grey eyes turned cold, and a smirk played on the corner of her lips. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to help the others try and fix the mistake that you made. You might want to grab some extra help if we're going to be fishing for a radio in the river."

Half hour later, Kat was hanging around the outskirts of the search party, watching with her arms crossed as a group of delinquents walked through the shallow river, hands in the water as they tried to locate the radio. Her eyes flicked to where Blake was standing on the other side of the bank, overseeing their work with a furrowed brow.

Anger flared in her once more. How dare he look at her like that, with that look in his eyes, as if he wanted to kiss her and never stop? How could he think that she would allow him to after what he'd said last night? After fucking two other girls that were not her?

_Throw myself at someone else_, she scoffed humorlessly, her eyes moving away from him and landing on Miller instead, who was kneeling in the river. Her eyes lit up with curiosity as a new possibility entered her mind. _If Blake can move on… then why can't I?_

Kat smirked. Like Octavia said, Miller was hot. And if she thought that Miller was interested in her, then that was good enough for Kat. Now if she only knew how to flirt.

Shrugging unconcernedly, Kat waded into the water and headed towards Miller. "Hey," she said with a small smile. She figured that was a good a place as any to start.

Miller looked up and grinned at her. Kat tried not to frown in confusion – why did he always look so happy to see her? "Hey Kat. How are you?"

"I'm good. Want some company?" She asked.

"Sure," he said easily as they began to walk slowly through the river. "So, what do you have planned for our training session later?"

Kat raised an eyebrow, a smirk on her lips. "Well you'll just have to wait and see, now won't you?"

* * *

**Bellamy's POV**

Bellamy stood with his arms crossed, his eyes narrowed as he watched Kat walk up to Miller, a predatory, calculating look on her face. Something white-hot burned through his veins as he saw Miller grin down at her. He recognized the look on Miller's face because he was pretty sure he had the same look every time he looked at Kat too.

Appreciation and pure, unadulterated lust.

He didn't know what it was about her that was so appealing. The way her grey eyes looked at him? Her full, pink lips? The unconscious sex appeal that she didn't know she had? Or the fact that she didn't have a filter on her thoughts, that she had no problem telling him off when he was doing something wrong? Which, according to her, was often.

He thought back to when they had been talking on the way here. He had been so gratified, so relieved to hear that she didn't blame him for the possible deaths of 300 people that he had forgotten all about his resolve to forget about her. He had looked into her honest face, felt himself lose his train of thought and had actually been about to kiss her.

He didn't know how to feel about her rejection. On the one hand he was glad, but on the other… he was annoyed and disgruntled. _She_ had rejected _him. _Bellamy didn't even bother trying to think back to the last time a girl had rejected his advances – because it had never happened.

Her grey eyes had flashed warningly at him, and Bellamy knew she had not forgotten the conversation they had yesterday.

As he watched, Kat stumbled over something in the water and Miller reached out to steady her, one hand on her elbow and the other on the small of her back. His hand lingered there for a moment, and Bellamy's vision turned red as Kat actually turned into Miller's touch, smiling up at him gratefully.

Before he knew what he was doing, Bellamy was halfway across the river, striding towards them with the sole purpose of getting Kat away from Miller.

"Hey!" A voice shouted. "I found it."

Hesitating only for a moment, Bellamy changed directions heading towards the radio reluctantly, a sense of dread washing over him. 300 people were going to die, and part of that was going to be his fault.

"Can you fix it?" Clarke asked, desperation in her voice.

"Maybe," Raven answered, examining the radio. "It'll take half the day just to dry out the components just to see what's broken.

"Like I said, it's too late," Bellamy said.

He saw Kat roll her eyes. "Stop being such a downer."

"Do you have any idea what you did?" Clarke asked, getting in his face once more. "Do you even care?"

How could she think that he didn't care? He wanted to protest, to stand up for himself, but he was all too aware of their audience and his reputation. "You asked me to help," he pointed out. "I helped."

"300 people are going to die tonight because of you!" She cried angrily.

How many times was she going to remind him of that?

"Hold up," Raven said. "We don't have to talk to the Ark, we just have to let them know we're down here, right?"

"Yeah but, how do we do that with no radio?" Finn asked.

Raven grinned at him. "I've got an idea. Come on, we need to get back to the pod."

* * *

**Kat's POV**

The next couple of hours were spent retrieving and putting together a bunch of things that Kat didn't understand. They all worked tirelessly and without complaining under the orders of slave driver Raven, who barked constant orders to them. For once, however, everyone was able to work together without fighting or arguing – they all seemed to understand the importance of what they were doing.

Kat didn't have a chance to get a drink let alone pull Clarke to the side and ask her about Finn. Something was definitely off with her. She was quiet and contemplative, a furrow on her brow as she worked alongside Raven. Once or twice Kat caught the longing, confused look on Clarke's face when she looked at Finn, and the curiosity to know exactly what happened between them burned within her.

She also noticed Blake staring at her when he thought she wasn't looking – but really how could she ignore the heavy heat of his gaze? She refused to look at him though, wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

The sun had been down for about an hour when they finally had the rockets set up and ready to go. The camp gathered around them in silence, the tension thick in the air. Kat hovered in the background, leaning against the tree as she watched. Raven, looking pale in the firelight, swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and pressed the button to release the rockets.

There was a loud, rumbling noise, and the three rockets shot into the air, the purple sparks and flare bright against the night sky. Kat watched in awe, her eyes wide as she followed their ascent. Kat, who had no love for the Ark, did hope that they saw the rockets in time. 300 innocent people didn't deserve to die for the Ark's mistake.

Someone bumped Kat's shoulder gently, and she glanced over to see Miller smiling down at her. "Hey," she greeted softly, turning her attention back to the purple rockets. "They're actually beautiful, aren't they?"

"Yeah," Miller agreed. "I've seen some pretty beautiful things since I've been down on the ground."

She turned to him curiously, and whatever she was going to say faded from her mind. He wasn't looking up at the rockets, he was staring down at her, his gaze intense and his face serious. She was reminded of the expression he had on his face when she was teaching him how to throw a knife a couple days ago, and she had learned enough to now recognize the look in his eyes.

He wanted her, and she allowed her mouth to curl up in a smirk. "Are you trying to flirt with me, Miller?"

"If you have to ask, then I must not be doing a very good job," Miller grinned, turning his body more fully to face her. "You, Katerina Hale," he said slowly, trailing the back of his hand lightly down the side of her face. "Are beautiful. Talented. Mysterious."

Kat tilted her head to the side as she looked at him, considering both him and her body's reaction to him. Her heartbeat had picked up at his words and she obviously felt flattered. Her reaction wasn't nearly as explosive or immediate as it was when she was around Blake, but there was definitely something there.

Her eyes flickered down to his lips and she wondered what it would be like to kiss him –

"Kat," a loud voice interrupted, making her jump slightly. Miller hastily took a step back from her – when had he gotten that close? – and they both looked over to see Blake standing there with a torch in his hand, his face blank but his eyes blazing. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Rolling her eyes in annoyance, Kat looked back at Miller. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all," Miller said, watching Blake with an unreadable expression.

"Hey, why don't you find Monroe and Octavia," she said, getting his attention back. "We can start training by fire light since we didn't get time to do it earlier today."

"Sure," Miller grinned.

She sent him one last smile before Blake grabbed Kat's wrist and dragged her after him. She wanted to snap at him for his rough treatment of her, but Kat bit her tongue, curious despite herself about what Blake had to say. She could feel the tension in his body, and though she could have broken the tight grip he had on her wrist, she didn't. He walked so fast that she practically had to jog to keep up with him.

When Blake finally decided that they had gone far enough, he shoved the torch into the ground and let go of her. He didn't say anything for a moment, just glared down at her with a pissed off expression, his nostrils flared.

"What's your problem?" Kat asked, annoyed, wrenching her arm away from him.

"You," Blake bit out, before taking a deep breath in order to calm herself.

"And what did I do this time?" She rolled her eyes again.

A cruel smirk made its way onto Blake's face. "Nothing I didn't expect. It really didn't take long for you to find another guy to throw yourself at."

Irritation ran through her, but she didn't let it show. Grinning at him, wanting to hurt him as much as he had hurt her, she sighed happily. "Who, Miller? Yes, he's a good choice, don't you think? He's definitely hot… and that smile? Just makes me weak in the knees." Her grin widened at the furious look on his face. "And you want to know the best part?" She added softly, her voice cool and taunting. "I don't have to throw myself at him at all."

"Well then it sounds like you two are perfect for each other," Blake sneered.

Kat blinked as a thought suddenly crossed her mind. "Wait a minute… are you _jealous_?"

Blake scoffed, looking stunned that she would even suggest such a thing. He shifted uncomfortably. "Don't be ridiculous – "

Kat's grin grew as she barked out a laugh. Blake was jealous of Miller. Triumph flashed in her eyes as she was suddenly filled with an unknown sensation. The knowledge made her feel powerful, made her feel more in control. "Well isn't this just perfect! You tell me you don't want me anymore, but when I think about moving on to a different guy, you get jealous."

"I am not – "

The anger that had been building up inside her since yesterday was suddenly unleashed.

"You see, Blake, I realized something when I landed here on the ground. Here… nobody can tell me what to do. Here… I can do whatever I want. All my life, someone has told me how to act, what to eat, what to wear and how to live. For the first time in my life, I'm choosing what I want to do! And what I _wanted _to do, Bellamy Blake, was to have sex with you. I didn't want you to be my boyfriend and I sure as fuck didn't want to marry you. Just sex, plain and simple."

At some point during her tirade, her grin had vanished and she had moved closer to him, getting in his face. Breathing heavily, her grey eyes aflame with emotion, she reached out with both hands, grasped either side of his face and crashed her lips to his. Almost immediately she deepened the kiss, prying his mouth open and slipping her tongue inside. Blake had frozen for a moment in surprise, but with a low sound in his throat his arms snaked around her waist, crushing her to him and returning her kiss with such enthusiasm that she momentarily forgot about her plan.

Their breathing grew harsh. Her hands fisted in his hair and tugged, his hands dug almost painfully into her hips. Delightful little shivers of heat were zipping through her body, and even though it had only been two days since they had done this, it felt like forever ago. Fighting desperately to regain control, Kat sucked Blake's bottom lip into her mouth seductively, one hand releasing his hair and trailing down his chest to lightly cup the big bulge in his pants.

Blake let out a strangled groan, his hips pressing forward into her hand. She couldn't resist moving her fingers, caressing him through his pants, enjoying his reaction way too much.

With an enormous effort, Kat gently grazed her teeth along his bottom lip as she released it and took two giant steps back. Blake blinked rapidly in confusion as she was suddenly gone, his hair a sexy mess, his lips swollen and his eyes darkened with lust.

"You're a liar, Bellamy Blake," she said through narrowed eyes, struggling to hide how affected she was. "You obviously want me just as much as I want you."

"Then come back over here and finish what you started." he began hoarsely, starting forward a few steps, but stopping again when she held up a hand.

"I don't like to share." Her words rang loudly in the silence that followed.

"What are you – "

"I saw the two girls in your tent this morning. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what they were doing there. You fucked me one night and those two girls the next." Her eyes flashed angrily and her voice turned ice cold. "I liked having sex with you, Blake. Probably the only thing I liked about you. I thought that we could continue to have sex, an outlet for all the anger and frustration that we feel down here. But unless you stop sleeping around, whatever this was between us is over before it even really got started. I deserve better than this, better than feeling like some slut you can use one night and throw away the next. Miller's a good guy, I don't think he would do that to me."

"He won't be as good as I was," Blake said, beginning to look angry and frustrated again. "You'll be comparing him to me the entire time – "

"Maybe," Kat agreed, a cruel smirk on her lips. "I guess I'll just have to find out, now won't I?"

They stared at each other, still breathing heavily, both of them still aroused, but neither of them willing to back down. A sudden crashing noise through the trees caught their attention and they turned to see Miller running towards them.

Blake made an angry noise in his throat and opened his mouth but Kat spoke first, seeing the look of panic and apprehension on Miller's face as he bent over, breathing heavily.

"What?" Kat demanded, walking forward a few steps. "What is it, Miller? What happened?"

But he didn't look at Kat. His gaze was fixed on Blake as he straightened, a look of dread in his eyes. "Spit it out, Miller," Blake snapped, now looking concerned.

"It's Octavia," Miller said, his voice heavy. "I looked all over for her – she's not in the camp and nobody's seen her since this morning. She's gone, Bellamy."

* * *

**Author's Note: Okay so I need honest opinions here. Some of you guys wanted to see Kat and Miller a little bit as a way to get back at Bellamy, so I tried to include a little bit of that in this chapter. How do you feel about the Bellamy/Kat/Miller situation? Do you want to see more of that? What else do you guys want to see?**

**I spent my day off this week plotting out the rest of this story instead of doing homework and I am SO EXCITED about what I have planned! Thank you to everyone who's sticking with me – I love hearing feedback, so keep it coming. **

**Review, review, review! I may just post the next chapter that much sooner :)**


	12. Operation Rescue

**Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed my story! Special thanks to my beta Dannylionthe1st for doing such an amazing job and putting up with my endless questions.**

**Read, enjoy and review!**

* * *

Chapter 12: Operation Rescue

**Bellamy's POV**

Bellamy ran through the woods as fast as he could in the dark, stumbling a few times in his haste to get back to camp. He couldn't seem to draw a proper breath and his heart sat heavily in his chest. Miller's words kept ringing loudly in his ears. _She's gone, Bellamy._

He tried to remember the last time he had seen Octavia and knew it was when she had caught up to him on his way to the drop ship. She had been so angry and disgusted with him… the look in her eyes had been like a dagger to his chest. If Miller was right and she was gone, then he had failed the task assigned to him by his mother. Octavia was his responsibility. He had been the first face she had seen, he had raised her, and he was the one who loved her.

He clenched his teeth. Miller was wrong. Bellamy would walk into her tent and she would be there, still angry from their argument earlier and ready to start in on him again.

Trying to stifle the rising dread and panic in his gut, Bellamy slowed down when he got back to camp, grabbing another torch from the fire. The camp was quiet, and though Bellamy wanted to storm through shouting his name, he made himself walk in an attempt not to cause a scene.

He went to her tent first, and he stared at it for a long moment, the emptiness taunting him. His heartbeat slowed, then picked up again. _Where was she?_

Going from tent to tent, he threw open the flaps and shone the torch inside, ignoring the angry protest from the sleeping occupants. His steps quickened the longer he couldn't find her.

He came to Clarke's tent, noticing that she was sitting, still awake. Swallowing his pride in his desperation to find his sister, he headed towards her, crouching down to the ground. "You up?"

"Yeah. Knowing that hundreds of people might be dying on the Ark makes it pretty hard to sleep," Clarke said heatedly, getting out of her tent to meet him.

He felt the pain of her words in his chest, but he accepted them without complaint. "Raven's flares will work."

"The radio would have worked better."

Bellamy swallowed. "Have you seen Octavia?"

"No. It's Octavia, she's probably chasing butterflies – "

"Clarke, I've checked the camp, she's not here," he interrupted.

She looked at him carefully. "Okay, I'll help you find her. Let's check again; you check the dropship I'll check the rest of the camp."

Grateful that she was even considering helping him after what he had done, he said, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me," Clarke said flatly. "I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for Octavia."

Bellamy accepted that in silence as well. He didn't really care why she was helping as long as they could find his sister. They parted without speaking, and Bellamy noticed Kat as he headed toward the drop ship. He changed directions without even thinking about it.

She looked up as he approached, and he knew without even asking that she was still pissed at him by the way her cold grey eyes narrowed. "Have you seen her?" Bellamy asked, hating the hopeful tone to his voice as he waited with bated breath for her answer.

Her angry expression faltered and was replaced by a worried one. "No. I've asked around and no one's seen her. I haven't seen her since we left to find the pod early this morning."

The hope that was bubbling up inside him withered and died. "She caught up to me in the woods after I tossed the radio," Bellamy said with his eyes unfocused, thinking back and remembering the disgusted and disappointed look on her face. "I told her about what I did to come down here and we – we argued." He looked at Kat then and something in his face made her icy grey eyes soften. He didn't know whether it was the despair that Octavia was missing, the fear that she may be dead or the self-loathing that he hadn't been around to protect her, but he pressed forward. "She's not in the camp, which means she's out in the woods, in the dark with the grounders. She may be hurt, or captured or.. or – " He couldn't bring himself to say the words. Swallowing harshly, he tried again, speaking softly. "I know you're mad at me, but will you help me find her?"

Kat opened her mouth to speak. Sure that she was going to say no, he interrupted in a desperate voice, "Please, Kitten."

"Of course I'll help find Octavia, you idiot," Kat said briskly, rolling her eyes. "I may want to rip out your intestines and strangle you with them, but that doesn't mean I won't help. I consider Octavia to be a friend."

"Thanks," Bellamy said slowly, frowning slightly. "…I think."

"We'll need to get a couple of volunteers," Kat said as they walked back towards the middle of camp, her mind already racing. "Some supplies too. Weapons, bandages, flashlights, anything that you can think of that we might need. Keep it quiet too. If she was taken by grounders we don't want to cause a panic."

Bellamy felt himself pale slightly, but nodded resolutely, a determined, stubborn expression crossing his face. He strode away to find people who he couldn't count on to help, placing a hand on their shoulders and telling them softly what's been going on. Once he had a group of about ten, he rounded up as many weapons as he could, placing them in a large makeshift bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

He headed back toward the center of camp, where Kat, Clarke, Jasper, Monroe, Roma and a few others were waiting for him, their expressions grim in the firelight. "Grab a weapon," he commanded, tossing the bag on the floor. He felt more in control now that he had a plan in mind. "My sister's been out there alone for twelve hours. Arm up. We're not coming back without her."

They did as he said, grabbing weapons and talking quietly amongst themselves. "Where did you see Octavia last?" Kat asked, coming over to where he and Clarke were standing.

"I know the general spot, but we'll need a tracker," Bellamy answered. "Finn, get out here!" He yelled at the tent that Finn and Raven were currently occupying.

"Hey look!" Someone shouted, pointing up into the sky. "What is that?"

"It's so beautiful!"

Bellamy followed their gazes and saw what looked like hundreds of twinkling lights falling from the sky. "It didn't work," Raven said in despair, coming over to join their group with Finn. "They didn't see the flares."

"A meteor shower tells you that?" Bellamy asked skeptically, looking down at her.

"It's not a meteor shower, it's a funeral," Clarke said, her voice thick with emotion as her brilliant blue eyes met his accusingly. "Hundreds of bodies being returned to the Earth from the Ark. It's what it looks like from the other side."

Bellamy dropped his gaze, feeling like someone had just punched him in the stomach. The Ark didn't get their message. Now, thanks in large part to him, hundreds of people had just died. Muttering spread among the people surrounding them and Bellamy wished they would stop. He could feel Kat watching him intently, but she didn't say anything to him.

"This is all because of you!" Raven exploded angrily, starting towards him only to be stopped by Clarke and Finn.

"I helped you find the radio," Bellamy shot back at her.

"Yeah after you jacked it from my pod and trashed it!"

"Yeah, he knows," Clarke said, a hand still on Raven's shoulder. "And now he has to live with it."

Bellamy looked up at the bodies one more time before pushing the matter from his mind. There was nothing he could do about it now, but he could help find and protect the only family that he had left. "All I know is that my sister is out there and I'm going to find her," he said, glaring around at them all as if daring them to argue. "What are we waiting for? Let's move out!"

Bellamy caught sight of Miller grabbing an extra weapon and heading towards the rescue group. "Hey," Bellamy said sharply, grabbing Miller's shoulder with a strong hand and turning him around. "Where do you think you're going?"

Miller looked at him with a puzzled expression. "What do you mean? Kat told me what was going on and I want to help – "

"No," Bellamy interrupted without thinking. Brain working quickly, he said, "I need you here, looking after things. Most of the fighters are coming with me to look for Octavia and Clarke's heading off with Raven to fix the radio so I need you here to make sure everything's okay."

"But I can help you find her – "

"You'll be more help to me here. I need someone I can count on. Can you do that for me?" He asked. Miller nodded, looking after the group and Bellamy caught him staring after Kat, who was watching them with a curious expression on her face. Bellamy's face hardened, his grip on Miller's shoulder unconsciously tightening as a burning hot sensation flared in his stomach and chest. "Oh and Miller?" Bellamy said in a soft, deadly voice that got Miller's attention right away. His eyes were an intense, no- nonsense brown as he stared the younger boy down. "Stay away from Kat."

Miller frowned. "What do you – "

"You know exactly what I mean. Stay away from Kat and I won't make your life a living hell. Do you understand?" Miller's eyes were wide and he swallowed thickly. Bellamy knew the rumors of what he'd done to Atom had spread through the camp, and while he regretted his actions now, he knew they would work in his favor in this case. Looking slightly pale, Miller nodded resolutely. "Good man," Bellamy suddenly gave a feral grin, clapping Miller on the shoulder. "We should be back before the end of the day."

Turning on his heel, Bellamy followed after the group heading into the forest behind Finn. He felt slightly better knowing that he had solved one problem at least, and he was now able to focus on finding his sister. _Hang on, Octavia,_ he thought desperately. _We're coming to find you._

* * *

**Kat's POV**

They walked through the forest in silence, following Finn's lead as he somehow managed to track Octavia's footprints in the pitch black. She alternated between her worry for Octavia and her curiosity about why Blake hadn't let Miller come with their group. She would have asked Blake this directly, of course, but he seemed extremely preoccupied with his missing sister and the look on his face didn't welcome any questions.

She lost track of how long they'd been walking and wasn't paying attention to her surroundings very much. She adjusted the sweaty grip she had on the spear she had taken earlier, wiping her hand on her pants.

Kat jerked and looked up in surprise when someone from the front yelled, "Hey, over here!" They rushed forward, gathering around a steep hill and looking down. "Isn't that Octavia's?"

"Jasper, grab me the rope," Blake said urgently.

"What are you doing?" Finn asked.

"I need the rope to get back up. Flashlight," he demanded. Once he had a secure hold on the rope, he carefully headed down the hill, looking at the object stuck in the tree. "It's hers!" He called up to them.

There was muttering all around them and Kat rolled her eyes when she realized none of them wanted to follow Blake down there. She was just about to step forward when, in a move that completely surprised her, Jasper stepped up and was the second one to go down the hill. Kat followed, Finn right behind her.

"Is that blood?" Kat asked softly, watching as Bellamy touched a red substance on a rock. He nodded, looking grim.

"The prints are deeper going this way," Finn said. "He was carrying her."

There was a moment of silence as they let this news sink in. "If he was carrying her that means she's still alive," Jasper said, excitement clear in his voice. "Like when they took me." Kat looked at him for a moment. She knew Jasper had a big thing for Octavia, and she wondered what it would be like to have someone care that much for her. To do something that obviously scares the shit out of him, but to try to be brave anyway, for her. She snorted inwardly at the thought. _Get your head out of the clouds, Hale._

The rest of the group came down behind them as Finn started to lead the way again, but Kat could sense their growing unease. The darkness was pressing around them on all sides, and it gave the forest a creepy feel. Although that was nothing compared to what was coming, apparently.

Jasper stopped so short that Kat ran into him. "Jasper? What the fu – " The words died in her throat once she saw what he was looking at. "Holy fucking shit," she breathed in horror. Hanging from the trees with nooses around their neck were skeletons. They lined the path going forward, and their warning couldn't be clearer.

"I don't speak grounder," Finn said softly. "But I'm pretty sure this means keep out."

"Man, I'm outta here," One of the blonde boys in the back muttered, a scared expression on his face. Three or four others followed suit, and the rest of the group shifted uneasily.

"Go if you want," Blake called to the group. Since she was close to Blake, she could hear the next part that he muttered under his breath. "My sister, my responsibility."

"I'd walk through hell to find her," Jasper stated, following Blake with a determined expression on his face.

Finn was right on his heels. "I think we just did."

Kat couldn't help but agree. "What do you think they did to be strung up there?"

"Who knows," Finn shrugged. "Could be anything, we don't know how these grounders live."

They fell silent again after that. The enormity of what they were doing and where they were had spread throughout the remainder of their group, and none of them seemed to have anything to say. Or maybe, like her they were tense, waiting and watching the surrounding woods for any sign of the grounders.

She was glad when the sun began to rise, not because it would help them see any approaching grounders (she doubted she'd be able to anyway), but because the light shining through the trees helped to take away some of the creepiness in the forest. She no longer felt like grounders were lurking behind every tree, waiting to jump out and slit their throats.

They kept following Finn, and Kat suddenly became aware that they were taking a very wandering route.

"I got nothing," Finn finally said after a while. "The trail's gone."

"Keep looking," Blake urged. The group fanned out, looking closely along the ground for any sign that Octavia had been there. Kat's eyes flicked over the ground looking for footprints, broken twigs, anything.

"Maybe we should backtrack," Finn suggested.

"I'm not going back," Blake said firmly.

"Hey guys," Blake's bed buddy called in a tremulous voice. Kat had refused to look at or even acknowledge her this entire time. "Where's John?"

Kat looked around wildly, which was pointless because, she was slightly ashamed to admit, she had no idea who John was or what he looked like.

"I just saw him a second ago!" Jasper said, eyes wide.

"Spread out," Bellamy ordered. "He can't have gotten that far."

Kat hadn't walked five paces when a dull thud caused her to whirl back around. A boy, she assumed it was John, was lying on the floor, his eyes wide and his throat slit.

"They're using the trees!" Finn said, causing them all to look up into the tall branches.

"We shouldn't have crossed the boundary," another boy said – Kat didn't know his name either.

"Now can we go back?" Blake's bed buddy asked.

And just like that they were surrounded. Jasper pointed out one grounder in the distance, standing menacingly and staring at them. Spinning around slowly, Kat spotted two more grounders on either side of their group.

"We should run," Finn suggested. And they did.

Heart nearly exploding in her chest, Kat pumped her arms and legs as fast as she could, her eyes sweeping the forest in front of her. She leapt over fallen tree logs, dodged through the trees and she still didn't feel like she was moving fast enough.

She kept a close eye on Blake and Finn in front of her, following the path that they took. "Come on, Jasper!" Kat yelled over her shoulder, after looking back and noticing that he was slowing down.

"I can't run much longer!"

"I'm not stopping for him!" The other boy shouted.

Blake slowed, looking back at the group. "I'm sick of running anyway. They know where she is." He pulled out his ax as they all slowed down except for the stupid, nameless idiot who kept running.

"James!" Blake's bed buddy called, tearing off after him.

"Come back, you idiots!" Kat screamed. "We're stronger together – "

"Roma!" Blake yelled, and once again they were running after them.

They heard her scream up ahead and when they caught up to where she had been, they found the nameless boy pinned to a spiked log, one of those spikes going through his chest. His eyes were wide and a trickle of blood was dripping down his chin.

Kat couldn't tear her eyes away from his face. What was happening? How could two of them have died within the past two minutes? It was like some kind of nightmare that she couldn't escape from.

"They're leading us here," Jasper panted. "There was no other way for us to run."

"Where do we go?" Finn asked.

"After Roma," Blake answered. Kat dutifully followed as their diminished group took off after Blake. It was quiet in the forest now, almost too quiet.

"This way," Finn said, adjusting their course slightly, his eyes on the forest floor.

"There she is!" Monroe said, pointing to the side of Roma that they could see hiding behind the tree. "Roma!"

The other girl didn't answer and Kat shared a nervous glance with Finn. Blake carefully walked forward, peering around the tree.

Kat knew instantly that whatever he saw wasn't good. His face collapsed in despair, and when Kat walked up next to him she saw the giant spear protruding from her chest and pinning her to the tree.

"They're playing with us," Finn said incredulously.

Blake reached out, gently lowering Roma's eyelids. "She only came because of me," he said quietly.

"Of course she did," Kat answered, watching him closely. "She thought of you as her leader and so she followed you. All of your choices affect what happens to them."

"They can kill us whenever they want," Finn interrupted. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by Jasper.

"Then they should GET IT OVER WITH!" He screamed into the forest, a manic edge to his voice. "COME ON! WE KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE!"

"Jasper!" Finn rushed over to him, trying to shut him up.

"Shut the fuck up you idiot!" Kat hissed loudly.

"Here they come!" Monroe yelled. Kat spun in a circle, counting five grounders running their way. Clenching her teeth, she lifted her spear, bracing herself for the battle that was sure to happen.

"Form a circle, backs to the middle," Kat ordered over her shoulder, and she could hear them moving behind her.

A loud horn resonated through the forest, and as Kat watched, the grounders froze and then turned tail, running in the opposite direction. "The horn," Jasper said apprehensively. "What does it mean?"

"Acid fog," Finn said grimly, pulling open his pack.

"We should run," Monroe urged.

"No time," Finn argued, rummaging around and pulling out a large black scrap of tent-like material, shaking it out.

"What is that?" Kat asked, eyeing it apprehensively. "What are you doing?"

"C'mon, get under. If we hold down the sides it might stop the acid fog from reaching us – "

"No way," Kat said, backing up and shaking her head frantically. "There's no way I'm getting under that thing."

Blake rolled his eyes impatiently. "Don't be stupid, Kat. You're only options are to get under this thing and have a chance to live or stay out here and die a slow painful death."

"I'd rather face the acid fog then get in that dark, small place with all you people – "

"She's claustrophobic," Jasper said, comprehension dawning on his face.

"It doesn't matter what she is," Monroe said urgently, searching for the acid fog. "We need to get under this thing now."

Kat's heart picked up in response to her words as she stared at the black tent in Finn's hands. Something very painful was happening in Kat's mind. Her vision kept fading out, focusing one moment on what was currently going on, and the next she was having flashbacks to the long, terrifying hours she had spent locked in the closet back up on the Ark. Her mind rejected the idea of being stuck in a space like that again, and having these people witness her mental breakdown was not helping matters.

Blake reached for her, to pull her under the tent, but she slapped his hands away and stepped back, trembling slightly, her eyes wide in panic. "Please don't make me," she whispered shakily as everybody else got under the tent.

"Look at me. Look at me, Kitten!" He said loudly, striding towards her and gripping her face between his hands, staring down at her with a serious expression. She met his gaze, her hands unconsciously gripping his wrists for support. "I am _not_ going to let you die out here," he said in a quiet, but strong voice. "Okay? So you're going to focus on me, on the sound of my voice, and we're going to go with the others under the tent. We'll get through this together, alright?"

"Okay," she whispered brokenly, trying to suck in a deep breath and slow down her racing heart.

"That's good," Blakeencouraged, keeping his voice calm and even. Moving slowly so that he didn't freak Kat out further, he took his hands from her face, grabbing her hand and leading her to where the others were huddled under the tent.

He crawled inside, keeping a tight grip on Kat's hand as they pulled the material down over them. There was barely any room to move with all the bodies cramped in there. At first Kat kept her eyes wide open, though it made no difference in the black tent. But once they were all situated, Kat shut her eyes tight, curling in on herself. She had ended up with her back to Blake's chest, partially next to and partially under him.

The darkness and the sound of the others' breathing pressed in on her. A vision on her father's terrifying face as he slammed the closet door shut flashed through her mind and she twitched slightly, her breathing growing heavy once more.

One of Blake's hands found Kat's upper arm and his thumb moved in reassuring movements. "Breathe," Blake whispered in her ear. "Focus on me and the sound of my voice."

With her eyes still tightly shut, Kat focused on her breathing, unconsciously timing her breath with Blake's, feeling the rise and fall of his chest behind her. Forcing the image of her father from her mind, she concentrated on the feel of Blake's hand on her arm and his comforting presence behind her.

After a few moments of this her panic did subside, but she was now presented with a whole new problem. It was totally inappropriate given the fact that they were in a confined space with four or five other people, not to mention the fact that they were running from grounders who have already killed three of their own and might possible be killed any moment by the acid fog.

But Kat was _very aware_ that Blake was pressed up against her, and suddenly her heart was racing for a completely different reason. Blake seemed to have come to the same conclusion right around the time that she did. His hand froze on her arm and it seemed that he had stopped breathing. She wished that she could see the expression on his face.

His breath was hot on her ear when he finally seemed to relax, his hand moving again. Kat unconsciously relaxed too, just to tense up again, her eyes shooting open in confusion and alarm. Blake's hand was moving slowly down her arm, over her waist and hip and slipping under her shirt. She shivered when his hand met her skin and she tried to move away, torn between arousal and fury that he would dare trying something like this right now.

There was nowhere for her to go and she could practically feel the smirk on Blake's face, the smug bastard. He knew exactly what he was doing to her.

His hand slowly, torturously moved up the side of her body, curving around to her stomach, his fingers brushing the underside of her breasts through her bra. It was an erotic experience, being felt up by a guy she'd had amazing sex with in the pitch black with five other potential witnesses.

Angry, and now very frustrated, Kat subtly pressed back against him, and she grinned when she heard his breath hitch.

"Hey, Kat, how are you doing over there?" Jasper whispered, sounding concerned. "You're breathing kind of heavy, you're not hyperventilating are you?"

"I'm good," she whispered back, using the opportunity to elbow Blake sharply in the ribs. She was satisfied to hear his grunt of pain. "How long do we have to stay under here?"

"Let's find out." Taking a deep breath, Finn pulled the tent back slightly, peering around carefully. "There is no fog," he said in a frustrated voice. "Maybe it was a false alarm?"

They all got up, Kat detangling herself from Blake as quickly as possible and putting some distance between them.

"They're coming back," Blake said, after an unreadable look in Kat's direction.

"I think he's alone," Jasper stated.

"I'm going after him," Blake declared, his eyes locked on the grounders retreating back.

"And what? Kill him?" Finn asked.

"No. Catch him. Make him tell me where Octavia is." He paused, his jaw clenched. "Then kill him."

Kat frowned as she watched the grounder disappear into the trees. Something nagged at the back of her mind. The grounders were extremely adept at hiding and blending into their surroundings, and yet this one was in plain sight, running in the opposite direction?

Blake suddenly took off after the grounder, the others following him quickly. Kat took up the rear, still trying to shake off her encounter with Blake in the tent as well as comprehend why and where the grounder was leading them. She was so preoccupied with everything that was going through her mind that her foot got caught in a root and she fell flat on her face.

"Real smooth, Hale," Kat muttered under her breath, pushing herself up on her hands and brushing off the dirt. She attempted to stand on her feet and winced as a sharp pain went through her ankle. "Perfect. Just perfect." She looked around and was cursed when she realized there were no sign of the others.

She jogged in the general direction they were heading, limping slightly. The hairs on the back of her neck were beginning to stand up, and her paranoid mind was working into overdrive as her eyes flickered from tree to tree, unconsciously quickening her pace. After a few minutes of not being able to see or hear the group, she cast her eyes to the ground, hoping beyond all hope that she would be able to track them with her limited tracking skills.

* * *

**Bellamy's POV**

Bellamy closed his eyes, relief flooding through him as he wrapped his arms tightly around his baby sister, safe in his arms. "How did you find me?" She asked shakily, smiling around at the rescue party.

"Followed him," Jasper said, nodding to the knocked out grounder on the floor. He returned Octavia's hug with a grin.

"We should go, now," Octavia said, heading towards the cave entrance. "Before he wakes up."

"He's not going to wake up," Bellamy stated in a firm voice, staring down at the man who had kidnapped and hurt his sister with hatred in his eyes. He deserved to pay for what he did.

"Bellamy, stop! He didn't hurt me, let's just go!"

"They started this. Finn, move."

Finn was crouching over the grounders body, examining something on its belt. "The fog horn," he said softly.

Before anyone could move or realize what was happening, the grounder moved grabbing a knife from somewhere on his body and stabbing Finn in the stomach. Without pausing he grabbed the spear that Bellamy had picked up and knocked Bellamy to the floor, the weapon pointed at his throat.

"Stop, that's my brother!" Octavia screamed.

There was a moment where Bellamy and the grounder struggled, then there was a loud noise. Jasper had hit the grounder over the head and knocked him unconscious again.

Octavia dropped to her knees beside Finn, pressing a hand to the bleeding wound. "Stay with me Finn, stay with me. Keep your eyes open!" She looked over her shoulders at the others, her expression frantic. "We need to get him back to Clarke!"

Monroe and Bellamy went to either side of Finn, and she helped him pick Finn up. He staggered a little under Finn's weight, his teeth gritted. "Alright, let's move."

"Wait a minute," Jasper said suddenly, looking around. "Where's Kat?"

"Kat came with you?" Octavia asked.

Bellamy's eyes flickered around the cave, but there was no sign of her. "Where is she? She was right behind us!" He paused, trying to think back, but he couldn't remember if she had been with them. He was so determined to get Octavia back that he hadn't registered anything else.

"Shit," Jasper swore, his expression terrified. "What if they got her like – like they got the others?"

The thought hit Bellamy like a punch to the chest, his breath exploding out of him. "We need to find her – "

"There's no time," Monroe argued, her expression grim. "I like her and everything, but if we stay to look for Kat then Finn is going to die."

"She was out here because of me, the others died because of me! I can't just leave her out here – "

"Kat's a big girl, Bellamy," Monroe tried to reassure him, but she didn't seem too confident himself. "She'll be able to find her way back to camp. We need to get Finn to Clarke."

Bellamy's brain raced, but he couldn't seem to find another solution. They didn't have time to comb through the forest, especially with their tracker out of commission. He looked down at Finn, who was very pale, his eyes looking around unseeingly. Kat's words from earlier came back to him. '_She thought of you as her leader and so she followed you. All of your choices affect what happens to them.'_

For the first time since they landed on the ground, the enormity of what it means to be a leader crashed into Bellamy. He had to choose between searching for Kat and letting Finn die or bringing Finn back to camp and leaving Kat on her own which could also result in her death. He knew which one Kat would think was the appropriate "leader" choice.

"We're going back," he said decisively, heading towards the cave opening.

"But what about Kat – " Octavia began.

"Monroe's right, she'll be fine. But if we don't leave now, Finn won't be." There was a note of finality in his voice as he left. _She's a good fighter,_ he tried to assure himself. _She can use the skills her father taught her and she'll be okay._ Though his mind knew it was the right decision, his stomach still twisted unpleasantly at the thought of leaving Kat to fend for herself alone in the woods.

* * *

**Kat's POV**

Still feeling like someone was watching her, Kat swore profusely under her breath as she searched the ground, a frustrated frown on her face. She didn't see a single footprint anywhere and she was pretty sure that she had passed that crooked tree at least twice now. Panic threatened to creep in and she struggled to keep it at bay, to keep her mind clear. She needed to find her group as soon as possible.

The back of her neck prickled slightly and she tensed, her grip tightening on the spear that she was holding. She broke out into a cold sweat, her hand curling into a fist.

Time seemed to slow down.

She could feel her heart beating sure and strong in her chest, the sound of it pumping through her head slightly. She could feel the slight breeze stirring through the forest, and smell the foreign scents in the woods around her.

Still gazing at the ground, she turned slowly and carefully. About twenty feet away, her eyes met a pair of dark boots. They traveled upward, along a strong, muscular body and looked into the face of a huge grounder wearing the most terrifying skull mask that she had ever seen. But what was even scarier was the arrow that was currently aimed right at her chest.

As her wide eyes met his gaze, the grounder bared his teeth at her in a horrifying grin and let the arrow fly.

* * *

**Author's Note: If you guys couldn't tell by now, I love cliffhangers. What do you think is going to happen?**

**I tried to take all your comments and suggestions on the Bellamy/Kat/Miller situation, and I hope you guys liked what I came up with. It seemed like such a Bellamy thing to do.**

**I cannot believe that this story has almost 200 reviews! Every single one of you are seriously amazing. Think we can get it over 200 with this chapter?**

**So before you leave, don't forget to write a review. They're my motivation to keep writing.**


	13. Hits Close to Home

**Author's Note: So sorry for the long wait! Work, grad school finals and the approaching holidays got the best of me – I literally just wrote this chapter in one weekend! Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed my story, especially all those guest reviewers. I cannot even believe the positive responses to the last chapter, you're all amazing.**

**Hope this chapter is a good holiday present for you guys! Merry Christmas to those that celebrate it. **

**Special thanks for Dannylionthe1st for beta reading this chapter! Hope you guys like this one… be sure to leave a review and let me know what you think!**

* * *

Chapter 13: Hits Close to Home

Kat didn't have time to think, she just acted out of pure instinct. She dove to the side, or she tried to, anyway. The arrow that had been aiming for her heart slammed through her left shoulder instead, spinning her around with the force of it and sending her crashing to the ground.

Kat blinked slowly, clenching her teeth to hold in a scream as the burning hot pain starting in her shoulder ran down her arm. Time seemed to speed up again.

Rolling over with a painful gasp, she saw the grounder stalking towards her, reaching over his shoulder to slide what looked like a sword out of its sheath. She swore under her breath as she struggled to her feet, her left arm hanging limply by her side. Her father had never taught her how to fight with swords. The extent of her knowledge was to avoid contact with the sharp, pointy end.

As he approached, Kat quickly tried to size up her opponent. He was huge, well over six feet, and very muscular – this would give him a lot of strength, but since she was smaller she should be quicker on her feet. Not taking her eyes off the grounder, she bent and picked up the wooden spear that she had taken from camp. If nothing else it would be better for the sword to hit this instead of her body.

He grinned, appearing amused with her weapon of choice. She didn't blame him. He was bigger than her, more experienced than her, and stronger than her. She didn't stand a chance. She was a child going up against a full-grown man.

Her mind flashed to four years ago, when she was facing a similar situation with her father. She remembered the feeling of having nothing to lose. Narrowing her eyes, she shifted onto the balls of her feet and prepared to fight for her life yet again.

* * *

**Bellamy's POV**

"Get Clarke!" Bellamy bellowed as he entered camp, struggling to carry Finn without jostling him too much.

There were shouts of alarm when people caught sight of them, then a flurry of movement as Clarke came sprinting toward them, horror etched on her face.

"Finn!" She gasped, her eyes flickering to the wound in his chest. "Oh my god." Her fingers pressed to his pulse, and there was a moment of silence until she let out a relieved breath. "He's alive."

"Bellamy wouldn't let me take the knife out," Jasper said.

"No, that's good," Clarke answered, not taking her eyes off Finn's body. "Get him in the drop ship now. Go!"

Several guys stepped forward to take Finn out of Bellamy's arms and hurried off. "Clarke!" Raven cried, her voice thick with worry. "Can you save him?""

"No, I don't –" Clarke broke off, swearing and running a finger through her hair in frustration. "I need my mother. I need to talk to her."

"There's still no radio – "

"Raven!" Clarke interrupted, grabbing the other girl's shoulders. "Fix it! Go!" Raven ran off and Clarke caught sight of a dirty, bloodied Octavia limping toward them. "Hey, are you okay?"

Octavia nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay."

Clarke looked around, frowning. "Where's Kat? Did I miss her? And where are the others?"

Octavia looked to Bellamy, raising an eyebrow. Apparently she wasn't going to be the one to tell Clarke. Bellamy took a deep breath, trying to ignore the sick, twisted feeling in his stomach. "John, James and Roma… they didn't make it. We ran into some grounders following Octavia's trail."

Clarke's eyes fluttered shut in dismay, and Octavia stepped forward in concern. They popped open again, eyes zeroing on Bellamy. "And Kat?"

"We – we lost her."

"_Lost_ her?" Clarke repeated incredulously. "What do you mean lost – "

"I mean that one minute she was there and the next she wasn't!" Bellamy said loudly, feeling angry and defensive. "I'm sure she's fine – "

"Fine?" Clarke repeated again, her voice shrill. "You left her in the middle of grounder territory, all alone! I know Kat's badass, but there's no way she can take on all those grounders by herself – "

"I'm going back to get her!" Bellamy interrupted fiercely, successfully shutting Clarke up. He didn't know what made him say that, but he knew it was the right move, one that he had decided the moment he had left her out there. "She's fine, and I'm going to bring her back home."

Clarke glared at him for a moment, breathing heavily. "You better," she said finally, before worry crossed her features once more and she hurried off, heading towards the drop ship.

"Hey!" Bellamy called to Octavia, who had turned to follow Clarke. "Why were you defending him?"

"Because he saved my life," Octavia explained. "That spear that hit Roma was actually – "

"No, you're wrong!" Bellamy said, stepping closer to her. "I saved your life. For all you know he was keeping you alive to use you as bait for one of their traps."

"No, I don't think so – "

"You don't _think_, O, that's the problem," Bellamy raged, the images of Roma, John and James etched into his mind. "They killed three of our people today. Kat is missing. And if you had let me kill him when I had the chance, Finn wouldn't be in there dying right now – "

"Stop it. Stop it!" Octavia shouted, her blue eyes flashing as her face contorted with barely restrained anger. Bellamy had stepped over Octavia's temper line without even realizing it. "Stop blaming me for your mistakes! What happened to Finn is _not_ my fault. I wanted to leave, so if Finn dies in there, that's on you. Everything that's gone wrong, is because of you. You got me locked up on the Ark, you made me go to that stupid dance, you got mom killed!"

Something very painful was going on inside Bellamy. Every one of her words was like a hot brand to his heart. Hearing her accusations along with the hate and fury in her voice made him breathless. For a moment he stood there, feeling lost, hurt and confused. Then the betrayal of her words washed over him, bringing his own anger to the surface.

"Me?" He repeated, quietly. Though his voice didn't stay quiet for long. "Mom was floated for having you. She's dead, because you're alive. That was her choice. I didn't have a choice. My life ended, the day you were born." His anger faltered at the pain and horror in his sister's eyes. Her lower lip trembled and Bellamy never hated himself more than he did in that moment.

Octavia turned to head out of camp. Frustrated, Bellamy grabbed her arm to prevent her from leaving. "Where do you think you're going?"

When Octavia turned to look at him, her eyes were no longer hurt. They were furious. "You can't keep me locked up in here forever," she spat, before wrenching her arm away from him and stomping away.

Bellamy's expression was shuttered as he stared at the spot where Octavia had disappeared. He didn't know how long he stood there, but by the time he became aware of his surroundings again Jasper was standing next to him, an unreadable expression on his face. "You're going back out there, aren't you?"

"Get Miller and Drew. There's a grounder out there that I'd like to have a word with," Bellamy said darkly. "And there's a damsel we need to rescue."

"I'm pretty sure Kat would castrate you if she heard you call her a damsel," Jasper said. "But either way, I'm coming with you."

Bellamy nodded, recognizing the determination in Jasper's eyes. "Let's go."

* * *

**Kat's POV**

Kat ducked under the sword aimed for her head, raising the spear hastily as the grounder used his momentum to pivot and swing at her again. The sword left a dent in the spear and Kat knew that it couldn't take many more hits like that. She quickly backed away as the grounder advanced, alternating between ducking and blocking with the spear, which continued to chip away.

As he brought the sword down to her head once more, Kat, without thinking, raised the spear above her head with both hands. The sword made contact, snapping the spear cleanly in two.

Kat nearly bit her tongue in half as her shoulder screamed with pain. The edges of her vision blackened, and Kat didn't see the grounder's backhand until it connected with her head, lifting her clear off her feet and sending her backwards. She blinked frantically, trying to get rid of the stars dancing in front of her eyes.

There was a strange, high pitched ringing in her ears, and for a moment she didn't understand where she was and what she was doing. As her vision cleared, however, she saw the grounder advance on her once more and it all came rushing back. She stumbled to her feet, her head feeling fuzzy and her left arm hanging limply by her side.

She continued to backpedal, feeling off balance – why did the world keep tilting? Her back abruptly hit a tree and she stood there, panting, using it for support as the grounder walked confidently towards her, a sickening smile on his face. He swung the sword towards her and Kat instinctively ducked.

The grounder was so large and so strong that the sword whistled over her head and lodged itself in the tree. The grounder frowned as he tried to tug it out, and Kat used this distraction to make her move. Her face contorted into a snarl, Kat pivoted to the grounder's open side, grabbing hold of the back of his neck with her good arm and bringing her knee up swiftly into his groin.

The grounder may have been a giant, part of a group of people that has survived nuclear radiation and adept at fighting, but he was still a man. The grounder let out a choked groan as he abandoned his attempts to pull the sword out and fell to his knees, cradling himself.

Bending down to grab the switchblade out of her boot, Kat flicked it open and brought it down, aiming for the man's neck.

He caught her wrist in one of his large, beefy ones and pulled in to the side, using his other fist to punch her in the stomach. She doubled over, gasping, sure that he'd managed to break every one of her ribs. Gritting her teeth, she aimed a kick at his head, but he blocked that as well, and suddenly they were rolling on the ground, Kat's switchblade knocked out of her hands.

When they finally stopped, Kat was flat on her back, the grounder looming over her, his teeth bared as his hands encircled her neck. Kat got one whiff of his disgusting body odor before the grounder started to squeeze. Her hands scrabbled against his, trying to pull his fat fingers off, her feet kicking, struggling to throw him off.

Her mouth opened desperately, her eyes bulging. There was an enormous amount of pressure building up in her head from lack of oxygen. She could feel her heart pumping through it, it's beats slowing down as the edges of her vision started to turn black. Her body wasn't listening anymore – her legs stopped kicking. She shut her eyes, not wanting this grounder's face to be the last thing she saw. In one last attempt, her hands slowly scrabbled along the ground, looking for something that would help her. Her eyes shot open as her hands clasped around a familiar handle, and feeling as if her arm weighed a hundred pounds, she brought it up and plunged her knife into the side of the grounders neck.

An outrageous amount of blood spurted from the wound and Kat immediately knew she had hit something important. It dripped from his neck, pouring down onto her face, neck and shirt. The grounder let out a sickening, raspy sound as his fingers slackened, his eyes wide with disbelief as he slumped down onto her. She knew the moment that he had died, could feel him stop struggling to take breaths.

Kat, meanwhile, was sucking in as much oxygen as she could with a huge grounder lying on top of her. Her vision eventually cleared and as the world came back into view, she grunted, shoving the dead grounder off her. This ended up taking several minutes as only one of Kat's arms was working properly.

When she carefully tried to get to her feet, the world titled once more, sliding up towards her and making her stumble and fall to her knees. She stood again, bracing herself against a nearby tree for support and only letting go once she was stable.

As her adrenaline faded, her entire body throbbed, vying for attention. She glanced at her left shoulder, grimacing at the sight. Her blood coated the arrow, which was lodged deeply into her shoulder. She wanted nothing more than to pull it out, but knew it was probably a bad idea since she didn't have anything to close the wound with.

Her head pounded in time with her heart and it felt heavy and fuzzy. She had trouble connecting her thoughts together. Rubbing her sore throat, which burned with every breath she took, Kat bent down and pulled the switchblade out of the grounder's neck, wiping the blood on it's shirt.

She stared at it for a moment, holding it tightly in her hand. This was the second time this knife had helped save her life. She slipped it back into her boot, vowing never to lose it – it seemed to bring her good luck.

Catching sight of the bloody, gaping wound in the side of the grounder's neck, Kat stared at it and was unable to look away. A wave of nausea crashed over her as she realized this was the second person that she had killed. Stumbling away, she put her hands on her knees and retched whatever was left in her stomach, gagging noisily even when it was empty. She shakily straightened, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

Was being on the ground turning her into a different person? Or was this who she had always been? She wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all. She hadn't wanted to kill the grounder – she just didn't want to die. The combination of blood loss and the blow to her head made her feel slightly manic – throwing her head back she let out a cruel, hysterical laugh. "Are you happy now, father?" She shouted, glaring up at the sky. "Are you _proud_ of what your daughter has become?"

A flash of silver from the rapidly disappearing sun caught her eye and she looked over to see the sword still stuck in the tree. She walked over to it with a frown on her face. It was a crudely made blade, and she was pretty sure that the handle was made out of some type of bone. She ran her fingers lightly over the handle, thinking. She had murdered two people in her short 18 years. They would never open their eyes, laugh at a joke, look upon their family again – her heart clenched at the thought. She imagined dark swirls entering her body, staining her heart and soul with the sin of her actions.

Closing her hand around the handle of the sword, her face set, she came to the conclusion that there was nothing that she could do about it now. She was now even more broken than before, but she wasn't going to shy away from it. She was going to embrace it, because she was alive and wanted to keep it that way.

With a snarl on her face, she threw her weight at the sword, gritting her teeth as the left side of her body flared red hot with pain. Pain had been such a large part of her life for so many years now that she learned how to deal with it, welcomed it even. It was just another thing that proved that she was still alive.

It took a couple of long minutes, but eventually she was able to work the sword out of the tree. She raised it in her right hand, giving it a few experimental swings. She placed it on the ground, moving back towards the grounder and worked one handed to unbuckle the sheath tied around his chest. It took a lot of maneuvering the heavy body, but she finally got it free.

Panting, she took a small break, looking up at the sky as she wiped sweat from her forehead. She frowned at what she saw. The sky had turned a dark, stormy gray, the clouds swirling about menacingly. A drop of water landed on her cheek, quickly followed by another. A loud, thundering clap echoed throughout the forest, making Kat jump. Working quickly, her eyes wide at what the earth was doing, she put the sword into its sheath and buckled it around her own body, adjusting the straps so it would fit. Another dizzy spell hit her, making her stumble once more. "Suck it up, Hale," she muttered to herself, locking her knees and starting forward, her left arm still hanging limply by her side, as she headed in the direction that would hopefully lead her back to camp.

Kat lost track of how long she walked. 20 minutes? An hour? Two? It didn't feel like that long, but something was wrong with her head – she had trouble focusing and felt foggy and dizzy, not to mention the fact that she was so damn tired.

At some point the drizzle had turned into a cold, freezing downpour, which was an odd contrast to the hot tremors working through her body.

Up ahead, a bolt of light from the sky lit up the forest and Kat saw four or five figures heading toward her. Cursing under her breath, she reached over her right shoulder and got a firm grip on the handle of the sword, carefully pulling it out.

She shifted onto the balls of her feet, her body tense as she prepared for another attack. The shapes came closer, and when another bolt of light appeared in the sky, she peered at them in disbelief and confusion, though she did put the sword away.

"Kat?" The first figure rushed forward, slowing down when he got to her, his mouth open and his eyes wide. "Holy – Oh god, are you okay? You're covered in blood – "

With a slightly trembling hand, Kat reached out and gently touched his face. When it really made contact, her eyelids fluttered, the tension leaving her body as she swayed forward. "Blake," she mumbled softly, her voice a hoarse, raspy mess.

"Whoa there, Kitten," Blake said in alarm as he caught her around the waist, holding her upright.

"Kat!" She blinked and looked around to see Miller hurrying towards her, concern on his face. "Are you okay? Oh my god, is that an arrow? And – and a sword?"

"Got hit in the head," Kat mumbled, her right hand clenched tight around the sleeve of Bellamy's jacket. "Everything's fuzzy."

"Bellamy, we rescued the damsel," She heard Jasper say, his voice anxious. "We need to get back to camp."

"Take the prisoner and start heading back to camp," Bellamy ordered as the wind started to pick up even more. "We're right behind you."

Kat frowned as the others turned to leave, not even registering what he was saying. "Rescued the damsel?" She repeated indignantly, hating the way her voice sounded. "I don't need rescuing thank you very fucking much. I can take care of myself – "

"Of course you can, Kitten," Blake said reassuringly, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"No, get off," she spat, pushing away from him and stumbling, holding her good arm out when he tried to steady her. "You weren't there – you don't know – "

"Kat – "

"Shut the fuck up, Blake, there's nothing funny about this! I was alone out there and he came out of nowhere – I did what I had to do to defend myself – "

"I know, okay!" Bellamy said loudly, an anxious expression on his face. "I'm sorry that you were put in that situation and I shouldn't have made that comment. It was stupid." Kat was so surprised by his apology that she just stared at him with wide eyes. He cautiously walked forward a few steps, stopping just in front of her. "It was my fault you were out here in the first place. If something had happened to you – I'm just so glad you're alive."

And then, in a move that surprised her even more than his apology, he carefully pulled her into a hug. Kat stood there, frozen in shock, and before she could move or say anything else, he was pulling away, looking everywhere but at her. "We should get going, you need to see Clarke."

Kat gaped after him for a moment, flabbergasted. She must have been hit on the head harder than she thought. "Wait," she called after him. "Did you say prisoner? And what happened to Octavia, did you find her? Blake?"

* * *

By the time they had made it back to camp, the wind was falling so hard that it felt like tiny rocks were pelting her face. The wind buffeted her from all directions, messing with her already precarious balance. Sticks and debris were tossed at her by the force of the wind.

Her shoulder still hurt where the arrow was imbedded, but the rest of her left arm was numb – she could barely move her fingers. It was a strange feeling since the rest of her body felt hot against the cold of the rain.

After what happened with Blake earlier, he had marched on ahead, looking back occasionally to make sure she was still walking. He had told her briefly that they had found Octavia but Finn had been stabbed in the process. When she had pressed him about what he was going to do with the grounder he had captured he had remained silent and eventually she had grown too tired to ask, saving the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

"They're here!" Kat heard someone yell from inside the drop ship. "They're back!"

Kat entered the drop ship unseen after their little group, leaning against the wall for support as she quickly took in the scene in front of her. Miller and the other boy had deposited the grounder on the floor as the crowd surrounding them on with wide eyes. Octavia jumped down from the ladder, starting towards Bellamy with a pissed off look on her face. Kat was relieved to see that she was okay. "Bellamy, what the hell are you doing?"

"It's time to get some answers," he said in his no-nonsense voice.

"Oh, you mean revenge?"

"I mean intel – "

"Where's Kat?" Clarke interrupted, stepping forward. "Did you find her?"

"Present," Kat croaked in her raspy voice, raising her good arm shakily in the air. She tried to walk towards Clarke and stumbled. Miller was there in an instant, one arm grasping her hand and the other going around her waist to steady her. She smiled up at him in thanks.

"Oh my god!" Clarke exclaimed, hurrying over to Kat, her hands fluttering around her body unsure which injury to look at first. "What happened?"

"Ran into a grounder," Kat grunted. "He wasn't exactly happy to see me – "

"Miller!" Blake barked, glaring at the boy. "Bring the prisoner upstairs and secure him."

"No," Clarke protested. "I'm going to need him to help take out the arrow – "

"I'll do it," Blake said, stepping forward and taking Miller's place. Kat sent Miller a curious glance as he backed away, not looking at either her or Blake.

Clarke looked surprised for a moment, but Kat was watching Miller and the other boy take the prisoner upstairs. "What are you planning to do with him?" She asked Blake again.

"I told you already, we need answers – "

"This is not who we are, Bellamy," Clarke said quietly, looking into his eyes.

He was silent for a moment. "It is now."

Shaking her head, Clarke turned her attention to her patients. "Set her up on the next bed," she told Bellamy. "Octavia, I'm going to need you to take the arrow out while I work on Finn." The other girl nodded, looking pale.

"Clarke?" A woman's voice crackled over the radio.

Kat's eyes widened in disbelief. "Is that – you fixed the radio?" She missed the look of fear and apprehension on Blake's face.

"I did," Raven said, her voice impatient as she looked at Finn. "Clarke we need to do this now."

Clarke nodded. "Okay, Octavia, you're going to need to break off the point of the arrow, as close to her shoulder as you can. Then you're going to pull it back straight at the same angle that it went in. Kat, try not to move. Bellamy, you're going to need to hold her still. Got it?" Everybody nodded as Clarke turned her attention back to Finn.

Octavia, still looking pale but determined, picked up a bottle of something from the floor and poured it over her hands, scrubbing to get the dirt off. "What's that?" Kat asked.

"Monty's moonshine," Octavia replied. "I don't want to get the wound infected."

Kat held her hand out for the bottle and Octavia's eyebrows shot up as Kat took a long swig, making a face before handing the bottle back. "Okay. I'm ready." She could already feel the warm tingle as the alcohol made its way through her veins, taking away some of the sharp pain. Damn that stuff was strong.

Octavia handed her a rag. "Here, it might help if you bite down on this."

Kat accepted it, shoving it into her mouth and nodded at Octavia to go ahead. Octavia picked up a pair of makeshift shears, and was just about to cut through the arrow when a commotion on the far side of the drop ship broke out. "Clear the room!" Clarke commanded and Raven started shouting, ushering everyone upstairs.

Taking another deep breath, Octavia turned back towards the arrow, lined it up carefully with her shoulder and cut the top off. Kat bit down on the rag as the arrow jostled in the wound, causing the pain to flare up again.

Putting down the shears, she took off the sword and helped Kat lie down against the table, her left shoulder hanging off the edge. She spoke to Blake without looking at him. "Hold her steady." Blake nodded and Kat's eyebrows shot into the air as he clambered onto the table and straddled her waist, one hand pressing down on her uninjured shoulder and the other pressing against her stomach. He smirked a little at the expression on her face, but it faded quickly when Octavia spoke. "Alright," she said, bracing one hand gently on her shoulder and gripping the arrow in the other. "On the count of three. One. Two – "

In one smooth motion Octavia pulled the arrow out. Kat's back arched against the pain, a hoarse, muffled scream escaping from her involuntarily. She blinked against the pain for a few moments, waiting for her watery eyes to subside. Once the pain was more manageable, she shooed Blake off her, sitting up and tearing the rag out of her mouth. "What happened to three?" She panted to Octavia. You said on the count of three!"

"I lied," Octavia grinned, pressing another rag to the wound on her shoulder to stop the bleeding. She picked up a makeshift needle and wire that Clarke had given her. "Now stay still, I need to stitch this closed."

As Octavia got to work, most of the tension seeped out of Kat, bringing with it a dizzying exhaustion. She swayed slightly, shifting sideways so that she was leaning against Blake's chest. "Kat?" Bellamy asked in concern, taking her face between his hands so he could see her face. "She's warm," He told Octavia.

"I'm not surprised," Octavia said, getting to work on the exit wound. "She lost a lot of blood and was out in the freezing rain for hours. She probably has a fever."

"'M fine," Kat mumbled, pulling away from Blake with a frown on her face as she struggled to stay focused. "Gimme some more of that moonshine."

Blake handed the bottle to her and she took another swig. "Bellamy!" Miller shouted down from the hatch above them. "He's awake!"

Jaw set, he turned to his sister who looked suddenly furious. "You good here?"

"We're fine," Octavia snapped. Blake looked like he wanted to say something else but decided against it. With one last look at the pair of them, he climbed up the ladder.

"What happened between the two of you?" Kat asked, mystified.

"Oh you know, just an average sibling fight," Octavia said as she covered her wound in a bandage and put her arm in a sling. "He told me it was my fault that our mom died and that his life ended the day I was born."

"He said that?" Kat asked, aghast. Kat had seen the terror and anxiety on his face when he realized Octavia was missing. His one redeeming quality was that he loved his sister so much. Why had he said those things to her?

Letting out a bitter laugh, Octavia shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it," she said, stepping back. "How do you feel?"

"Great, thanks Dr. Blake." Kat gave her a small smile before looking over to where Clarke was still talking to her mom as she worked on Finn. "C'mon we should go upstairs with the others, let them work." Octavia nodded, steadying Kat with a look of worry as she swayed and stumbled after standing. "I'm fine," Kat waved her off before heading towards the ladder.

It was a little awkward climbing a ladder when you're off balance with one arm, but Kat managed fairly well. She ignored the other delinquents and headed for the first spot she could find, slumping against the wall, feeling exhausted. Octavia followed her but looked distracted. Looking up at the ladder leading to the next floor, she said to Kat, "I'm going to see what they're up to. I'll be right back."

Kat gave a weary nod, leaning her head back against the wall and closing her eyes. She must have drifted off, because when she opened her eyes again she saw Octavia angrily pacing in front of her, a look of utter fury on her face. Kat blinked a few times, disoriented by the sounds of the other delinquents talking around her as well as the sounds of the storm outside.

Everything came into focus, the other sounds dying away when Clarke came up the ladder, a look of determination in her eyes. "They locked the hatch," Octavia said, rushing over to her.

Clarke climbed the ladder and started banging on it. "Hey!" She shouted. "Open up!"

"What's going on?" Kat rasped, struggling to her feet, clenching her fists against the throb of pain in her shoulder and the cold shivers working through her.

"They're torturing him up there!" Octavia exclaimed as Clarke continued to bang on the hatch. "I don't even think he fucking speaks English!"

A sick feeling rose in Kat's gut – she didn't know why she felt shocked. The hatch opened above them and Clarke scrambled up, Octavia started after her. She paused, looking at Kat, who had moved to follow. "You're not looking so good Kat. You should stay here and rest."

Kat nodded, but as soon as Octavia had started to climb up the ladder Kat was right on her heels. When she saw the scene in front of her, her stomach roiled and bile rose in her throat. The grounder was standing spread-eagled, his wrists and ankles tied to the wall of the drop ship. His face was covered in blood and bruises, one of his eyes already swollen shut. Miller was standing there with a resigned look on his face, though he wouldn't meet her gaze. Blake looked angry and frustrated as he paced.

Clarke strode over to the grounder, holding a knife in front of his face. "What is on this?" She demanded.

"What are you talking about?" Blake asked, coming up to her.

"He poisoned the blade!" She shouted, her fury ripping through the air. "All this time he knew Finn was going to die no matter what we did. What is it?" She screamed. "Is there an antidote?"

"Clarke, he doesn't understand you," Octavia tried to explain from behind her.

"The vials," Blake said suddenly, picking up a small case of bottles. "It's gotta be here."

"He's gotta be stupid to have a poison around this long without an antidote," Clarke muttered, tossing the knife aside as she took the vials from Blake. "Which one?" She demanded, holding them out to the grounder.

He stayed silent, his expression never changing. "Answer the question!" Blake shouted.

"Show us," Octavia pleaded, her voice softer than the others. "Please."

"Which one?" Clarke cried. "Our friend is dying down there and you can stop that!" Kat winced at the loud barrage of voices, grabbing the wall as the floor tilted. No one noticed her stumble.

Clarke sent a desperate look at Blake, who steeled himself and strode forward. "I'll get him to talk."

"Bellamy, no!" Octavia cried, grabbing his arm as he brought it back.

"He wants Finn to die, why can't you see that?" Blake shouted, getting in his sisters face. He turned to Clarke. "Do you want him to live or not?" He demanded. They all watched with baited breath as Clarke was silent for a moment. Kat's heart beat rapidly, fluttering against her chest.

"Clarke, you even said it yourself, this is not who we are!" Octavia said urgently. "He was protecting me, he saved my life- "

"We're talking about Finn's life!" Blake interrupted.

"Do it," Clarke said firmly. Blake nodded, headed for the seat belts that lined the walls.

"Just tell us!" Octavia pleaded. She tried to move forward, but Miller and the other unnamed boy grabbed her by the arms.

"Hey!" Kat snapped in her raspy voice, moving forward. A rush of adrenaline steadied her, pushing her weakness at bay for a while. "Hands off."

The four of them struggled for a moment before Octavia tore herself free, a snarl on her face. Kat's attention moved back towards the grounder and Blake. Blake had cut the grounders shirt off him and was wrapping one end of the seat belt in his hand. He looked to Clarke as if asking permission and she nodded.

"Okay, hold on," Kat said, moving forward. "You can't be serious about this."

"What are you doing here, Kat?" Clarke asked. "You should be lying down and resting."

"How am I supposed to rest when I know you're up here _torturing_ someone?" Kat asked in disbelief.

"And what would you suggest?" Blake asked, glaring at her. "We don't have a lot of time, Finn is going to die – "

"I don't know, but not this! There's got to be another way – "

"There isn't!" Blake shouted, running an agitated hand through his hair. "This is the only way to save Finn's life – "

"I know you think you're doing this for the right reason," Kat yelled, ignoring the white spots dancing in front of her eyes. "But you're about to torture an unarmed man who probably doesn't even understand what we're saying! I know he's the enemy, but he can't be all bad if he saved Octavia's life. You're sister would be dead if it weren't for him and this is how you repay him – "

"And what about Roma, and John and all the others – "

"Are you sure that this grounder killed them?"

"No, but it doesn't matter! Miller!"

Miller stepped forward, gently grabbing Kat's uninjured arm and pulling her away. "C'mon Kat," he murmured to her. "You can't stop this – "

Kat gave a frustrated scream and jerked away. "If you do this, Blake, it's going to stay with you for the rest of your life. This mistake is going to haunt you and you won't be able to run away from it – "

"You're the one that told me to step up as a leader!" Blake bellowed, pointing at her accusingly. "I'm doing whatever it takes to take care of my people! Now either shut up and stop interfering, or leave!"

Kat fumed, glaring at Blake as she took a few steps back to join Octavia, letting him and Clarke know whose side she was on.

Blake shook his head to clear it, reared back and let the seat belt fly. She felt Octavia wince beside her as the grounder grunted in pain, but Kat watched without flinching. She knew the sound of an object hitting skin, could feel the sharp pain of it against her own back, could almost feel the hot trickle blood dripping down.

Kat felt like her heart was going to burst from her body, which was covered in a light sheen of cold sweat, her hair clinging to her temples and the back of her neck.

After the third whip of the seat belt, Clarke stepped in and desperately tried to get the grounder to tell them which vial the antidote was in. It didn't work, and Bellamy gently ushered her out of the way once more, the entire room bracing itself for what was to come.

* * *

**Bellamy's POV **

Bellamy panted his hands on his knees as he stared at the grounder incredulously. Ten more blows and the grounder still hadn't talked, hadn't made a sound other than the occasional grunt of pain.

"Which one is the antidote?" Clarke cried to the grounder again. "Tell us!"

"Clarke!" They heard Raven cry from below. "He's getting worse!"

"If that doesn't work, maybe this will," Blake muttered, tossing the belt aside and picking up a sharp looking spike. He was not going to let another one of his people die on his watch. Not when they had the answer right in front of them.

"No," Kat said loudly. He looked at her and frowned. He didn't like the pale, greenish tinge to her skin, or how bright her eyes were. She looked terrible. "You guys can't be serious – "

"I'm not leaving here until I get that antidote," Clarke said flatly.

Kat exploded with anger. "You're a filthy fucking hypocrite, Clarke Griffin!" She screamed, trying to shake off Octavia and Miller who had grabbed her arms as she started towards the blonde. "Whatever happened to '_I'm a healer at heart'_ and '_I want to help people and save them from being in pain'_? Doctors don't hurt people like this – "

Bellamy couldn't listen to her accusations anymore. "Last chance," he muttered to the grounder, who stared back at him, defiant. Jaw clenched, Bellamy stabbed the spike through the grounders hand, which trembled against the pain.

"No!" Kat yelled. "You – "

She broke off suddenly with a gasp and Bellamy whirled around just in time to see Kat's eyes roll back into her head as she slumped to the ground, her body motionless. He stared in shock and horror as Clarke darted forward, rolling Kat's head towards her to check her eyes and pulse. "It's okay," Clarke said, relieved as she looked up at Bellamy. "She just fainted – she's exhausted and lost a lot of blood, I'm surprised she managed to last this long."

"Oh thank god," Octavia moaned, dropping down beside Kat's head brushing her hair out of her face.

"What the hell is taking so long?" Raven demanded angrily as she made her way up.

"Kat fainted," Clarke explained. "He still won't tell us which one the antidote is."

"Wanna bet?" Raven asked, reaching for a pair of thick wires and pulling them free from the wall.

"What are you doing?" Bellamy asked.

"Showing him something new." She rubbed the wires together, causing sparks to fly from the end. The grounder watched her with wide eyes, making strange noises and trying to back away from her. She pressed the wires into his skin, causing him to yell in pain as the lights in the drop ship flickered. "Which one is it?" She yelled. "Come on!" The grounder didn't answer and she pressed the wires into his body again. "He's all I have!" Her voice was thick with tears.

"No more!" Octavia cried, moving forward and brandishing the knife that poisoned Finn. Bellamy watched her with wide, fearful eyes. How had this gotten so out of control?

"He's letting Finn die!"

Octavia didn't look at her. With her eyes locked on the grounder, Octavia cut into her left forearm. "He won't let me die," she muttered, walking forward.

"Octavia," Bellamy said, reaching for her in concern, but she brushed past him without a glance.

"Which one?" Octavia asked, kneeling behind the vials. "This one?"

The crowd watched, Miller still crouching by Kat, breathless as the grounder nodded to the vial on the far left. She held it up, and as Bellamy watched, astonishment etched on his face, the grounder nodded. She thrust it into Clarke's hands, who hurried to Kat's side first, titled a few drops down Kat's throat and then hurried downstairs with Raven to tend to Finn.

Bending down to help Octavia, still reeling by the turn of events, he attempted to help her wrap the cut on her arm. "Don't touch me," she spat, moving away from him. It stung a little, but not as much as it probably should have. He looked at the grounder uncertainly, noticing how his eyes hadn't left his baby sister at all. She stared back up at him, and Bellamy didn't like the look they shared one bit.

He looked at Kat, who still hadn't awoken, and the tender look on Miller's face as he smoothed her hair down, murmuring to her softly. As if sensing his gaze, Miller looked up at him, a defiant expression on his face as if daring Bellamy to say something at a time like this. Narrowing his eyes, he didn't say anything to the younger boy, but he didn't look away either. Yet another thing he wasn't pleased with.

* * *

An hour later, after the situation had calmed down a bit, Bellamy walked outside with Clarke, surveying the damage done by the storm. "We'll get it cleaned up," he said, noticing the worried frown on her face.

"If only this was our only mess."

"Clarke," he said, taking the spike out of Clarke's hand. "Who we are, and who we need to be to survive are very different things."

"Is it?" Clarke murmured thoughtfully, looking somewhere over his shoulder. "What if Kat's right? What if the line becomes blurred and who we become are people who can torture someone without even thinking about it? After all that we did today, we still weren't able to get the grounder to talk. The only reason we found the antidote was because of Octavia. She saved Finn and Kat today." Bellamy didn't have anything to say to that, and Clarke sighed, looking to the drop ship once more. "What are we going to do with him? We can't keep him locked up forever."

"If we let him go, he'll be back…. And not alone next time." Clarke looked down, that heavy, worried expression back on her face. "It's not easy being in charge is it?" He asked softly. A moment of understanding, of camaraderie passed between them, though whether that was a good thing it was too soon to tell.

He caught sight of a familiar black ponytail walking through the camp and after another sympathetic look at Clarke, he started after Kat, watching as she ducking down into her tent, which was surprisingly still standing.

"Knock, knock," he said quietly, peeking inside. Kat looked over her shoulder to see who it was and when she saw it was him she rolled her eyes. She didn't say not to come in however, so he cautiously stepped inside. "How are you feeling?"

Kat snorted at the stupid question. "Like I've been shot with an arrow, almost choked to death and fainted all within a span of a few hours."

"Fair enough," Bellamy said, his eyes searching her face as she spoke. She looked better, with more color in her cheeks and the sickly sheen was gone as well. She still looked battered with her arm in a sling and thick bruises across her neck. He noticed that she was carrying the sword in her hand and nodded to it. "What are you going to do with that?"

She shrugged her uninjured shoulder. "Learn to use it I guess. Maybe cut off a few fingers if someone isn't answering my questions."

Bellamy huffed. "Look I can get why Octavia didn't want us to do what we had to do to get the grounder to talk," he said impatiently, ignoring the flare of anger in her gray eyes. "But what's your problem? I thought you'd be happy that I'd stepped up to help one of our own – "

"Maybe I'm just a decent human being who doesn't like to watch defenseless people get tortured," Kat snapped, her face turning red. "Or maybe," she said slowly, undoing the sling with a wince and struggling to take her shirt off.

"What are you doing?" Bellamy asked with a mixture of alarm and bewilderment.

She ignored him, carefully taking her shirt off until she was just standing there in her bra. Bellamy determinedly kept his eyes on her face, trying desperately not to look down even as his mouth went dry from what he could see out of his peripheral vision. "Or maybe I know what if feels like to be on the opposite side. I had a daddy who liked to beat me, remember?" She added snarkily, sounding more like herself.

His brain worked frantically to comprehend what she was saying, and only when she turned her back to him, pulling her hair over her good shoulder did he understand. He gaped at her back, his eyes wide with a mixture of disgust and revulsion at what he saw.

Her back was a mess of thick, white, crisscrossing scars, some thicker than others. There was barely an inch of smooth skin that he could find - he couldn't wrap his brain around it, his chest felt tight with pity. "Kat…."

"He used a variety of different weapons on me," she said in an emotionless voice. "Sometimes it was a shard of glass or his fists… but his favorite was his belt – the side with the buckle of course. I wasn't allowed to show the injuries on my back to anyone, especially a doctor. He would sometimes patch up the ones that wouldn't stop bleeding, but mostly I was left to deal with them on my own. It would take weeks before the cuts were healed enough so that I was able to sleep on my back. I always had to keep them bandaged so the blood didn't soak through my shirt and give me away."

_How could someone do that to another person?_ With a stab of horror, Bellamy realized that he had done something like this an hour ago. Bellamy felt terrible, like the worst piece of shit to ever live. She had to watch him do what had been done to her for years. He hadn't listened to her when she pleaded with him to stop and it was all for nothing anyway. Like Clarke had said, what they did to the grounder hadn't even worked.

"I - I didn't know," he stammered, trying to think back to a couple of days ago. He didn't remember feeling them through her shirt, though granted his mind was on other things whenever he was touching her. "I didn't see – "

"You never took my shirt off fully," Kat said in a flat voice. "And my back was against the tree, remember?"

He moved forward, hesitantly reaching out to touch her uninjured shoulder and opening his mouth to say who knew what, but she sensed him coming and shied away from him. "Don't touch me," she said quietly. "I couldn't bear it if you did."

He snatched his hand back as if burned, stepping away from her as she put her shirt back on. She turned to look at him with steel in her eyes, sighing when she saw whatever look was on his face. "Look, I know you tried to do what you think is right, and that's a step in the right direction. But I don't agree with what you did, and I don't really want to be around you right now. So please, leave."

He wanted to apologize, to explain the reasoning behind his actions further, to get her to stop looking at her with those betrayed, disappointed eyes – but he couldn't find the words.

Nodding once, Bellamy left her tent, his heart heavy in his chest.

* * *

**Author's Note: Whew! This was an emotional chapter for me to write. Hopefully the multitude of emotions that Kat was feeling came across well!**

**So what do you think? Should Kat forgive Bellamy for his actions? Is there a way that they can move on from this? What do you guys want to happen? Just a little teaser… next chapter will be entirely in Bellamy's POV ;) **

**All of your reviews have been so incredible and inspiring. I cannot wait to read what you guys think of this chapter, so leave a review!**


	14. Mine

**Author's Note: Yay for a quick update! I have off this week and was able to actually sit down and write. Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed my story, I love reading all your comments! Special thanks to Dannylionthe1st for being a great beta.**

**I'm sorry that I haven't been able to answer your reviews for the last chapter, but I wanted to focus on getting this one up first. I promise I will answer them though!**

**WARNING: Sexual content in this chapter. This was SO fun to write, I hope you guys enjoy reading it just as much!**

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Chapter 14: Mine

**Bellamy's POV**

The next 24 hours were spent fixing the damage that the storm had caused, putting the tents back up, clearing up the fallen logs and sticks and restocking their food supply. Bellamy spent the morning ordering the rest of the 100 around, pitching in where people needed help and shouting himself hoarse at a pair of idiots who decided it was a good idea to start a fight in the middle of the entire camp.

Clarke had kept a close eye on Finn throughout the night and it looked like he was going to be okay. She had dark circles under her eyes and that worried frown along her lips, but she told him with a small, relieved smile that both Kat and Finn would be fine.

He was pretty sure that Kat, on the other hand, was avoiding him. After one confusing, unreadable glance this morning, she hadn't looked his way again and that didn't sit right with him. There was nothing he could do about it at the moment though, he was just too busy. Kat had tried to help with the clean up one handed this morning, which caused Clarke to come storming out of the drop ship, eyes wide in disbelief.

Clarke started yelling about how Kat had passed out a couple hours ago and how she was going to rip the stitches from her shoulder wound if she wasn't careful. Kat had stared at her with this cold fury in her eyes as Clarke ranted. When she was finished, Kat told her that she wasn't her mother and she could do what she wanted before turning her back and helping Octavia move some more sticks.

Bellamy had watched the scene, a mixture of amusement and exasperation on his face as he saw Clarke stand there for a moment, mouthing wordlessly after Kat, before turning herself and stalking back to the dropship. It was always nice to see the Princess get taken down a few notches. She was right though, Kat shouldn't be doing anything with that shoulder. If there was anything that was going to cause Kat to not listen, it was telling her what she couldn't do. His amused smirk quickly turned into an annoyed scowl as he saw Miller hurrying toward Kat, who was struggling to lift a heavier branch with one hand.

Bellamy's eyes narrowed as Kat smiled up at him, yet again, in gratitude. Something needed to be done about that situation. And quickly, before it turned into something else.

Turning his back on the scene, he shouted for a few of his best hunters, making sure to include Miller in that list in order to get him away from Kat. He would spend the last few hours of sunlight hunting for more food and then…. Then he would put his plan into action.

A few hours later, Bellamy and the others returned from hunting with a large boar between them. Bellamy had a wide, triumphant grin on his face – it had been his spear that brought the boar down, and it was because of him that the crowd cheered when they saw the animal. It had been a _long_ time since they had something positive and good happen.

He watched their group eating and laughing around the campfire for the first time in days. Their good mood was infectious; even Clarke and Raven had left the dropship to make an appearance. The only one who didn't look like they were having a great time was Kat, who was standing off to the side just out of the light of the campfire, her arms folded and an irritated look on her face.

He strolled around the campfire to where she was leaning against the tree, sneaking up behind her. Putting his hands on her waist, he leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "You look a little frustrated, Kitten. Anything I can do to help relieve some of that?"

Although Kat rolled her eyes, there was no way to hide the shiver that went down her back. "Hands off the merchandise, Blake," she said, her voice still low and raspy from her fight with the grounder. "I'm still mad at you."

He grinned, undeterred. "Sometimes angry sex is the best kind of sex," he murmured in her ear, his fingers slipping under the hem of her shirt and tracing patterns on her skin.

Kat turned her head slightly. "Are you forgetting that the hands that you're touching me with tortured an unarmed man yesterday?" He stepped back as if burned. When she turned and saw the expression on his face, she sighed. "I keep going back and forth. On the one hand what you did is disgusting. But on the other hand, I can't help but know that you did what you thought was best for Finn."

Bellamy saw a glimmer of hope on the horizon. "Come with me," he said, and reaching out a hand, he took hers and began to pull her in the direction of his tent.

She automatically resisted. "Where are we going?"

"To my tent," he said over his shoulder. She stubbornly dug her heels in and he sighed, turning to face her. "Look, I just want to talk, okay?"

Kat snorted. "Just talk?" She repeated sarcastically. "Alone, in your tent?"

He sent her a grin. "We can revisit the angry sex suggestion, if you'd like."

"Not a chance," Kat muttered from behind him. His grin widened.

"We won't be interrupted in here," Bellamy said as they entered into his tent. "Nobody comes in without my permission."

Kat was silent, fidgeting slightly. He noticed her eyes flick toward the bed in the corner and he immediately felt the temperature in the tent rise a couple of degrees. He was just starting to think that this wasn't such a good idea when Kat finally spoke. "Please tell me you washed that blanket after you slept with those two girls."

He frowned, the image of Kat underneath him dissolving in his mind. It took him a few moments to understand what she was talking about. "I did, for your information." He peered at her, noticing her grumpy expression. "What's up with you, you seem – "

"Annoyed?" Kat supplied testily. "Irritated? Ready to crawl out of my fucking skin?"

"All of the above," Bellamy replied drily.

"It's because I am," she snapped, moving to cross her arms angrily and stopping with a wince as she moved her bad shoulder. "My shoulder hurts, the stitches itch, this sling is fucking annoying and I sound like I swallowed something sharp that shredded my vocal cords."

His eyes unwillingly fell to her neck, where two large, hand shape bruises were clearly visible against her pale skin. Just the sight of them made Bellamy's blood boil angrily. "You were shot with an arrow yesterday, Kat, of course your shoulder is going to hurt. And personally, I think your voice is sexy."

She blinked, surprised. "You do?" She asked, intrigued. She blinked again, shaking her head. "Don't distract me, I'm still – "

"Yeah, yeah, you're still mad at me," he sighed heavily. "I heard you the first time." She huffed and looked away. This wasn't exactly going the way he wanted. Sighing again, he moved towards the edge of the bed and sat down. "I wasn't always like this, you know," he said, sounding slightly defensive. He looked down at his linked hands as he spoke. "I had a family. A mother and a sister, even though she wasn't considered legal up on the Ark. I was a cadet, training to become an officer. We weren't perfect, but we were a family."

"What happened?" Asked Kat, sounding interested in spite of herself.

"I made a mistake," Bellamy said simply, hating himself all over for it. "I tried to sneak Octavia into a party where I was working as a guard. There was a surprise inspection and she was discovered. In one night I lost my job, my sister was thrown into the SkyBox and my mother was floated. I promised my mother I would take care of Octavia. So a year later when someone came up with a deal to get me on the dropship to the ground with her, I took it."

"Someone offered you a deal?" Kat asked slowly, frowning. "The one that made you shoot Jaha? Who was it?"

"It doesn't matter," Bellamy said shaking his head.

She turned her head to look at him, her expression incredulous. "Doesn't matter?" She echoed. "Of course it does! If someone on the Ark wants Jaha dead – "

"Lots of people on the Ark want Jaha dead," Bellamy said dismissively. "Besides who do you think they're going to believe? Someone that Jaha trusts or the criminal that shot him?"

"But the radio is working now – "

Bellamy stood. "I'm not talking about it anymore, Kat," he said firmly, feeling frustrated. He was already beginning to regret sharing his life story with her. What had come over him?

"But – "

"I said _no_."

They stood there, glaring at each other. He could feel the heat between them, saw Kat's eyes darken slightly as she acknowledged it too. The sounds of laughter and conversation outside the tent fell away, and it was just the two of them. He imagined the air crackling between them, neither of them willing to be the first to look away.

Kat unconsciously licked her lips and Bellamy's eyes followed the action, nearly groaning out loud as his pants tightened. "Okay," he said loudly.

"What?"

"I won't sleep with anyone else. Just you"

Her eyes narrowed. "No more threesomes – "

"They were just a distraction." As soon as the words were out of his mouth he wished he could take them back.

A smug smirk was beginning to work its way onto her lips. "A distraction?"

It was Bellamy's turn to roll his eyes. "Yes, a distraction. I wanted to fuck _you_, but I don't normally fuck the same girl twice." He slowly stalked towards her. "Happy?"

"Not really," Kat said, tilting her head to the side, watching him closely. "Was it worth it? Were they better than I was?"

He hesitated, realizing how much power a truthful answer would give her. Right in front of her now, he looked down at her, lifting a hand to rub a thumb across her lips before sliding his hand behind her neck and tangling it in her black hair. "No," he finally bit out before yanking her head back and smashing his lips to hers.

Once again Bellamy was surprised by the ferocity of her kiss. He tried to take control, but he could feel the agitation in the way she held herself. Her lips parted easily beneath his as she sucked, licked, tasted and gorged. She nipped his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, punishing him for his mistakes. The fingernails of her good hand scraped across his scalp, sending a shudder through him.

She tugged on his hair, pulling his head back to break the kiss. He panted as he stared down at her, a hot flash of lust bursting through him at the look on her face. Her swollen pink lips were slightly parted, her gray eyes fierce and determined. "This," she said, in her raspy voice, leaning forward to kiss him, pulling his bottom lip with her teeth until it popped out of her mouth. "is mine." Her hand let go of his hair, trailing down his chest to cup the bulge in his pants. She leaned up on her tiptoes, licking beneath his ear before scraping her teeth along his neck. He sucked in a breath between his teeth, his eyes fluttering slightly as she flexed her fingers. "But most importantly," she whispered breathily into his ear. "_this_ is mine. Understand?"

He didn't think he could get any harder. "Yes," he panted impatiently. "Yes, I understand." With his hands on her hips he pulled her close again and succeeded in distracting her for a couple minutes.

Bellamy growled low in his throat as she pulled away again, glaring up at him. "I'm serious, Blake, I don't like to share. If you so much as kiss someone else, this is over."

"Sure, Kitten."

"And it's probably best we don't tell anyone else. We don't want them to get the wrong idea."

"Whatever you say," Bellamy said impatiently. "Can we stop talking now?"

Kat grinned, baring her teeth at him. "Well you did say something about angry sex…"

It was all the encouragement he needed. He hauled her back toward him, capturing her lips once more. Just like the first time, it was fast and frenzied. He senses were overwhelmed, the connection between them almost too much for him to process. Her hands, or hand, rather, was everywhere. Pulling at his hair, grabbing his bicep, scraping her nails down his chest and even squeezing his ass. Each touch added to the fire in his veins, her breathy pants spurring him on further.

He gave as good as he got. His hands never left her body once, though he was mindful of her sling. He broke away to trail his mouth along her jaw and neck, her head tilting to the side, her eyes fluttering shut.

She grasped the hem of his shirt and made an impatient noise in the back of her throat when she couldn't get it off him with one hand. He reluctantly released her in order to reach behind his head and pull the shirt over his head, then pulled her close again.

He pressed himself against her as much as he could, dragging his fingertips down her neck, shoulders and ribs to settle possessively at her sides. He groaned as she combed her nails through his hair again, catching a spot at his spine that made him shiver in a wonderful way. Their hot breaths clashed between kisses and Bellamy decided that he needed more; craved it actually.

His hands slipped under her shirt and played with the hem of it. Sensing what he was about to do, Kat pulled back, her good hand scrabbling at the knot of her sling until it fell off. Taking it slowly and carefully, Bellamy helped her pull her jacket and shirt off. He paused for a moment, to admire the sight before him, then reached behind her to undo the clasp of Kat's bra.

The bra straps fell down her arms, but Bellamy had frozen, momentarily distracted. When he had undone the clasp, his fingers had brushed against the scars on her back. Kat peered up at him in confusion, but when his fingers traced one of the scars, she froze too, her expression shuttered.

Knowing that he was walking a very fine line, Bellamy stepped around her so that he was facing her back.

Her entire body radiated tension and anxiety – her muscles were locked and her shoulders were hunched.

Slowly, Bellamy brushed her hair off her back so he could see better. He had seen it before, but the sight of it still hit him in the gut, making him lose his breath. It was a terrifying, devastating sight. He lightly traced the crisscrossing pattern the scars made, hating that Kat flinched under his touch.

Wanting her to know that he didn't think any less of her for them, Bellamy leaned forward and pressed his lips to the biggest scar. She made a surprised noise as he did, jumping slightly. He lightly kissed his way along her back, his hands at her waist with her thumbs brushing reassuring patterns on her skin. It took a few moments, but Kat gradually began to relax, her breathing growing heavy again..

Working his way back up, he brushed her hair back, pressing another kiss just under her ear. "You're beautiful," he whispered honestly.

She turned in his arms to face him, the expression on her face unreadable. "I thought we said no more talking?" She asked finally.

He smirked at her, bending down to capture her lips, both of them sighing as their chests crushed together. The heat between them exploded once more, slick sweat coating their bodies as they devoured each other.

Bellamy flicked the button of her pants open as she toed her shoes off and kicked them to the side. He kissed and licked his way down her neck to the space between her breasts. He cupped one gently in his hands, rolling the nipple between his fingers before closing his mouth over it. She gasped as he did so, though it became a strangled whimper as he brushed his teeth against it. Her hand fisted in his hair, pulling slightly. "Blake," she moaned.

Hearing her moan his name, even if it was his last name, sent a jolt through him, making his cock twitch in his pants. "Shhh," he mumbled against her skin. "We're not alone in the forest this time. People are standing just ten feet away." He moved to the other breast, enjoying the way she writhed against him. When he figured that she had enough, he pulled the zipper of her pants down, helping her steps out of her pants and underwear. He drank in the sight of her standing naked before him, and while he was distracted, she had unbuttoned his pants, pulling them halfway down his legs, her good hand diving into his boxers and stroking him.

His hips jerked in surprise, a groan escaping him. Her hands were steady this time, and she definitely remembered what he had shown her their first time, which was good. She was a fast learner. She grinned in delight at the sound she had pulled him from, raising in eyebrow when he looked at her. She pressed a finger to her lips.

He ached almost painfully, and even though she was touching him, it wasn't enough. He felt like he was burning up from the inside, the need in him a painful coil in his gut. He reached out to cup her and found her wet and ready for him. He slipped a finger inside her, groaning at just how ready she was.

Kat clutched at his shoulders, whimpering as he added another finger. He recognized the overwhelming need and desperation in her eyes. "Take what you need," he murmured, kissing her swollen lips once more.

Kat, encouraged by his words, began to rock her hips back and forth, riding his hand. He could feel the tension and frustration in her movements, in the way her fingernails dug into his shoulders. She broke the kiss again after a few moments. "More," she panted incoherently. "I need – "

Bellamy immediately withdrew his hand grabbed her thighs, hoisting her up so her legs wrapped around his torso. She fused their mouths together as he did so, kissing him so thoroughly that he stumbled on the way to the bed.

He lowered her down beneath him, maybe not as gently as he could have, because she let out a sharp hiss of pain into his mouth. Freezing instantly, he pulled back and remembered too late that lying on her back must hurt the stitches in her shoulder. Kat narrowed her lust filled eyes at the look on his face. "I'm fine," she insisted, tightening her legs around him, her sex brushing against him and making his eyes flutter. She tried to pull him closer, to pull him into action once more. "So help me Blake, if you stop now I'll – "

He almost laughed. Did she not see the state of him? Did she honestly think that he would be able to walk away from her? He cut off her threats with another kiss, swallowing her relieved sigh. Placing his hands on her waist, he flipped them over so that he was lying on his back.

Kat blinked in surprise at the sudden movement, pulling back to look at him. He recognized the uncertain, innocent look on her face and remembered that she'd only had sex once. "It's alright," he reassured her in a low voice, his thumbs moving back and forth against her thighs. "You'll like this position, trust me."

Still looking unconvinced, she nodded, looking down between them to grasp him and line him up. Gritting his teeth at how much closer her touch sent him, he tried to think of something to take him off the edge. _Councilor Jaha, Murphy, Octavia walking in on them…_

It worked, at least a little bit. Bellamy helped guide her so that his tip was positioned just inside her entrance. Still clenching his teeth, he watched her, allowing her to dictate the pace. Her face was flushed, her mouth open slightly. She inched down a little lower, then suddenly, without warning swiftly impaled herself on him. Bellamy's eyes bulged in surprise, a choked groan escaping him as he was suddenly encased in her silken, velvet insides. They both paused for a moment, panting, the fire momentarily sated. Resting her hands on his chest, Kat rocked her hips back and forth. Both their eyes fluttered shut at the feeling and once again the searing fire and need consumed them both.

His hands tightened on her thighs as she experimented different movements on top of him. When she rotated her hips in a circle, he groaned again, seeing stars. Letting out a breathy laugh, Kat nipped his jaw. "You're being awfully loud, Blake," she murmured against his throat, rotating her hips in a circle again. He swallowed the groan this time, though a rumbling growl sounded deep in his chest.

"Stop teasing," he rasped, his hands sliding from her thighs to her hips where he lifted her almost off him only to pull her down hard, adding a snap of his own hips. Her cry was muffled against his neck. "Now who's being loud?"

The laughter gone from her face, she sat up more fully, repeating the motion that he had showed her. With her hands on his chest, her eyes fluttered shut as she rode him fully. She quickly settled into a rhythm that suited them both. She raised herself up to the tip of his erection, then slid back down again where Bellamy would raise his hips to meet hers. Her hips would then snap forwards a soft whimper echoing each time her clit rubbed against his pubic bone.

Her slick warmth was so tight that Bellamy shuddered. This was blind lust. Raw. The most honest kind, the kind where they lost themselves in each other. The sight of her riding him so completely, most likely using him for her own pleasure caused the base of his spine to tingle, his muscles clenching. _Not yet_…

Their pace increased, the sound of skin slapping against each other joining their panting breaths and low moans. Frantic. Frenzied. Feral. Fucking friction everywhere.

"Oh god," Kat groaned in disbelief as he changed the angle of his hips, hitting the spot inside her that made her toes curl. Her fingernails dug into his chest, making Bellamy hiss in part pleasure and part pain.

"Fuck," he grunted, feeling her walls begin to flutter around him, her thighs clenching around his hips. "Eyes, Katerina," Bellamy demanded in a hoarse voice, wanting, no _needing_ to see her fall apart above him.

They snapped open, blazing down at him with lust, wonder, and a kind of power that he had never seen before. She was a beautiful, erotic sight, face delicately flushed, hair sticking to her face with sweat, pink swollen lips parted, her eyes slightly dazed. "Blake," she moaned in a high voice, her lips trembling slightly, her chest heaving.

Knowing what she needed, holding off his own climax for a moment longer, his hand dove between them, his fingers seeking to massage the swollen flesh. Her hips jerked wildly, a lusty mewl escaping her mouth, making his stomach tighten. He helped her climb higher and higher, their gazes locked on each other, until finally she reached her climax.

Her eyes threatened to flutter shut as the surprised cry left her, all her muscles clenching hard for one, delicious moment before she dissolved into a mass of twitching, pulsing limbs. He watched in wonder, his fingers still moving, helping her ride it out until the end. When it was over, she swayed for a moment, eyes unfocused before slumping against his chest, her head buried in his neck.

He let her catch her breath for a moment, smoothing her sweaty hair back from her forehead. She seemed to feel the tension in his body, though, could probably still feel him twitching and pulsing inside her. Pushing herself up on shaky arms, she gave him a contented, beautiful smile before crashing her lips to his. Her hips began to move again, making Bellamy hum in relief.

His arms tightened around her, crushing her body to his as their teeth and lips clashed. Digging in his heels for purchase, he held her to him as his hips bucked into her, frantically seeking the fiery release that he had miraculously held back for so long. She clenched her inner muscles and Bellamy was done for. His entire body tightened as the white-hot heat pulsed out of him, pleasure filling every inch of him as he shuddered his release. Kat had pulled back to watch his expression, so his part groan part growl was unchecked, loud in the tent though he could barely hear it through his pounding heartbeat.

Kat pressed soothing, feather light kisses over his face as she drained him of every last drop. Panting, pleasurable tingles still shooting through him, he slid a hand up her back to fist in her hair, kissing her thoroughly, wanting to be connected for just a moment longer before the bliss filled haze fell away.

Unable to hold herself up anymore, Kat broke the kiss, closing her eyes and resting her head in the crook of his neck so he could feel her soft, panting breaths. "You're right," she said, her voice still trembling. "I do like that position."

"Told you," he mumbled, his eyes closed as the sweat dried on his skin. He liked the feel of her resting on top of him.

"Is it always like that?" She asked sleepily. "So… explosive?"

"No," Bellamy answered truthfully. "No it is not."

They fell silent after that for a few moments. Feeling the exhaustion settling over him, Bellamy used the last bit of energy he had to shift Kat off him so she was resting on her good shoulder. He settled behind her, her back to his front, wrapping a possessive arm around her hips, pulling the blanket up around them.

Letting out a contented sigh, he buried his head in her neck, his eyes drifted shut. It took him a couple seconds to realize that she wasn't relaxed in the slightest. She was tense against him, her entire body taut and unyielding.

"What is this?" She demanded, sounding almost angry. "What are you doing?"

He frowned slightly, though not concerned enough to open his eyes. "It's called cuddling, Kitten."

"I know what it's called," she snapped. "The deal was about sex. None of this cuddling, hand-holding romantic shit."

He gave a half-hearted snort. "Cuddling doesn't have to be romantic. I happen to like the skin to skin contact after sex. So if you want to continue to have sex with me, you'd better get used to cuddling. It's a package deal."

Kat made an amused sound in the back of her throat. "Who'd have thought? Big bad Bellamy Blake likes to _cuddle_."

"If you tell anyone, I'll kill you," he said through a yawn, pulling her closer. "Now shut up, relax and get some sleep."

She grumbled something else, but he missed it. Sleep came swiftly to claim him, and it had been such a long time since he had gotten some decent sleep that he didn't have any strength to fight it.

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For the first time in probably over a year, Bellamy slept through the night. The light filtered through a small crack in the tent opening, hitting his face, causing him to blink blearily. He stretched in contentment, yawning widely. He felt good.

Stretching out a hand, he felt for Kat next to him, but the other side of the bed was cold. He sat up, brow furrowing as he looked around. Her clothes and shoes were gone and there was no sign that she had been here at all.

Anger thrummed through his veins. "Son of a bitch," he swore, tossing the blanket off him and reaching for his pants.

She was gone.

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**Author's Note: A couple of you suggested that Kat should be mad at Bellamy for a while, and I think that's what a normal person would react. But let's face it, Kat and Bellamy are pretty far from normal! I hope you guys agree with this decision and didn't think it was too rushed. **

**What do you think Bellamy's going to do next? Any suggestions about what you want to see? Also, how did you like the chapter from Bellamy's POV?**

**Please let me know what you think about the chapter. Review, review, review!**


	15. The Day Trip

**Author's Note: Thank you so so SO much to everybody that reviewed/favorited/followed my story, especially wabi-sabi1090 who took the time to review every one of my chapters! It means so much! Special thanks to Dannylionthe1st for beta-ing my story and putting up with my non-stop questions. **

**Sorry this chapter is so late! There was an unexpected death in my family recently, work has been pretty crazy and my spring semester from hell has just started. Thanks for your understanding, your continued support means a lot. **

**Hope you guys enjoy the chapter!**

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Chapter 15: The Day Trip

Kat, weary of all the activity and absurdly _happy_ delinquents, wandered outside of the camp. She had spent most of the morning helping Jasper and Monty gather nuts and berries – the temperature had started to get colder and Clarke had freaked out, urging everyone to prepare for the upcoming winter, gathering food and other supplies ahead of time. She would have been fine, doing that, even though she could only carry the basket one handed.

But ever since Raven and Monty had successfully set up the video camera that connected directly to the Ark, things around the camp have been both tense and joyous at the same time. All of the delinquents had eagerly scheduled an appointment to talk to their parents or other family members on the Ark, and watching their happy expressions as they walked out of the tent that they had started using as headquarters gave Kat the strangest feeling.

On the one hand she didn't have to worry about how the Ark was going to come down to the ground. She didn't have to worry if they would make it safely – there was no one that she cared about up there. But on the other hand… it made her miss her mother. Which was strange in and of itself because she had died thirteen years ago and it had hurt so much that Kat eventually just stopped thinking about her mother at all.

Regret, grief, sadness, the aching loss and the overwhelming, permanent guilt. It rolled over her in waves, crashing and receding until it was too much for Kat to take.

If there was one thing that Katerina Hale didn't do, it was emotions.

Blinking, she looked around and was completely surprised to find herself in their makeshift graveyard, standing in front of Wells' grave. She shoved her hands inside her pockets against another wave of sadness.

"You're supposed to be here," Kat found herself saying out loud. "You would be able to explain to me why I'm feeling this way. And you would certainly be able to help Clarke deal with your dad and the rest of the council. Ever since they got the video working, she's been tense and snaps at anyone who breathes wrong, it's getting incredibly annoying. I guess she's under a lot of pressure – she's kind of stepped up as an unwilling leader. The voice of reason against Blake's impulsive recklessness."

Kat lapsed into silence as she thought about their most recent encounter. It was a couple days ago, the morning after he had dragged her into his tent.

_She had been filling up her bottle at their makeshift well when he had strode over, grabbed her good elbow and pulled her, ignoring her protests and her fallen bottle, to her tent where he pushed her inside._

_Spinning around in annoyance, she spat, "What do you think you're – " _

"_Where were you?" He asked, cutting her off._

"_What?" Kat asked, confused._

"_I woke up and you were gone."_

_Kat's eyebrows were furrowed. She could see how upset and agitated he was over this and was completely bewildered by his reaction. "Yeah? I don't cuddle and I couldn't fall asleep so I left – "_

_Her mouth fell open slightly at his reaction. "Didn't I tell you that if we were going to have sex that staying after was part of the deal?" He demanded angrily, throwing his hands up. Kat's eyes widened as he launched into a longwinded speech about how she was rude and inconsiderate and how it better not happen again. He said a bunch of other stuff too, but Kat's annoyance was already fading._

_He was acting like a teenage girl, and since he was actually a 23-year-old man who thought he was a badass, Kat couldn't help but feel amused. _

_A smirk on her lips, Kat raised her hand to stop him and said, "I can't talk to you when you're being so emotional."_

_Blake spluttered in disbelief and indignation and Kat laughed at the look on his face. Stepping forward, she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and stood on her tip-toes to press a kiss to his lips. "You're kind of cute when you're angry," she murmured, unable to resist kissing him again. "It'll sink through that thick skull of yours eventually, but you can't tell me what to do. You can try all you like, but it's not going to work. Okay?"_

_Kissing him one last time, she made to leave the tent, calling over her shoulder before she left, "I'll be by your tent later tonight if you want to use that anger and frustration in a more satisfying way."_

A flush spread across Kat's face as she remembered just how well he used that anger and frustration. Twice. Afterwards, Kat waited until he fell asleep before slipping out again. For one thing cuddling still seemed too personal and intimate and for another it was too much of a risk. If they both fell asleep then anyone could walk in on them and it wouldn't take a genius to figure out what they had been up to.

"Our other self-appointed leader on the other hand, has been distant and brooding," Kat continued, forcing those images of Blake out of her head. "It's obvious he doesn't want the Ark to come down to the ground, but I don't know what he expects to do about it at this point. He's going to have to get over it," Kat said with a shrug.

A small twinge of discomfort and pain zapped through Kat's arm and she grimaced, rotating it slowly. "I can't wait till this damn shoulder is healed," she muttered in irritation. "I took off the sling a couple days ago – you should have seen Clarke's face, she almost had a conniption. Yelled at me for about five minutes, the crazy bitch. She said I was healing quickly though, so that's good at least. I've been doing some exercises on my own and I can raise my arm up to about here." Kat lifted her arm straight in front of her, gritting her teeth against the pain when it reached about shoulder height.

The sound of a twig snapping behind her made Kat look over her shoulder. Octavia was approaching her with a serious look on her face, her eyes darting over the area around her. "Hey," she greeted. "Who are you talking to?"

Kat shrugged, looking away and feeling a little embarrassed. "I don't know. No one."

Octavia followed Kat's eyesight and her expression cleared. "Oh. Does it help?"

"I don't know," Kat said again with a frown. "I still feel pretty shitty." They were silent for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts, before Kat shook herself out of her funk. She turned to look at Octavia. "So what's up?"

"I've been looking for you," Octavia said, turning to face Kat completely, an earnest look on her face. "I never got a chance to thank you for being the only one to stand by me the other day, when… when they were torturing the grounder. I know it couldn't have been easy going up against Bellamy and Clarke - "

Kat waved her gratitude away. "I never had any friends, Octavia, so I don't know exactly what it entails, but according to my definition, I consider you to be a friend." Octavia tried to speak but Kat didn't give her a chance. "But I didn't do what I did because we're friends. I did it because it was the right thing to do. As far as Clarke and Blake go, those two stubborn idiots need a little opposition to keep them in line. I think they realize that what they did was wrong."

"Maybe," Octavia said, though she didn't sound convinced. "But if they were faced with a similar situation again, where it was one of us over one of them, would they choose differently?"

"I don't know," Kat admitted. "Where do you draw the line?"

Octavia shook her head impatiently. "It's useless to think about something that may or may not happen in the future. There was another reason I was looking for you."

"Okay…" Kat said slowly, frowning slightly at her tone.

"I want to break the grounder out of the drop ship."

Kat's eyebrows rose to her hairline at the bold as anything statement. A disbelieving smile began to cross her face, but it faded quickly when she realized just how serious Octavia was. Kat thought about it for a moment. She knew the grounder was still tied up on the top floor of the dropship, and she couldn't imagine the state he was in after being tied up like that for three days. "Okay. What's the plan?"

Octavia blinked. "Really? Just like that?"

Kat tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Would you rather have to convince me? I could do that if you'd like. I'd probably start by listing all the things that could possibly go wrong then go into what would happen if we got caught – "

"No, no!" Octavia said quickly, a brilliant smile lighting her face. She let out a little laugh of disbelief before skipping forward to give Kat a hug. "Thank you! You're the best Kat!"

Kat stiffened slightly in surprise, and not knowing what else to do she awkwardly patted Octavia on the back. Thankfully Octavia either didn't notice or decided not to comment on it, because she pulled back after just a moment with a smile still on her face.

Kat cleared her throat uncomfortably, shoving her hands back in her pockets. "So, um…do you have a plan?"

"Not yet. I was kind of hoping you could help me with that," Octavia said with a sheepish grin.

Kat sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "This is going to be tough," she said pointedly, aiming to mentally prepare her. "We have to somehow break out a chained up grounder who's under guard and sneak him out underneath not only Blake and Clarke's noses, but the rest of the hundred back at camp – "

"I know how hard it's going to be, Kat," Octavia interrupted. "But you're the only one I can turn to at this point, the only one I can trust – "

"But your brother – "

"My brother," Octavia said in a hard voice, her eyes flashing dangerously. "Is a power hungry, sex crazed asshole who thinks of no one but himself."

"Sex crazed?" Kat repeated weakly.

"Yeah," Octavia said, making a face. "A couple of nights ago I heard him and some bimbo going at it in his tent. Completely disgusting."

"Disgusting," Kat agreed, nodding as she fought the blush rising in her cheeks. "So I take it you two haven't made up yet?"

"You mean after he told me his life would have been better if I was never born?" Octavia repeated drily. "Nope."

Kat wondered what she should say. On the one hand she knew Blake said what he said out of anger and that he didn't really mean it. That doesn't excuse his actions though, and she knew Octavia wouldn't take her defending Blake well.

She was saved from having to decide when Clarke appeared through the trees. Her eyes flickered between them for a second and when she saw Octavia, Kat thought she saw a flicker of uncertainty. When Kat looked at Octavia for her reaction, she saw that the other girls face had gone stony.

"Hey," Clarke greeted, though she was still looking at Octavia.

Octavia didn't answer, just kept her unwavering gaze on Clarke. Kat scratched the back of her neck, feeling uncomfortable. "Hey," she answered after an awkward pause.

Octavia turned to Kat. "I'll see you later." She brushed past Clarke, but before she left she said over her shoulder. "Oh, and Kat? I consider you to be a friend too." With one last smile at Kat she continued to ignore Clarke as she walked away.

Kat's eyebrows were raised as she gnawed anxiously on the inside of her cheek in an effort not to feel too pleased with herself. Clarke took a deep breath and her annoyed expression was back. "I need to check your stitches. Come with me."

Kat opened her mouth to argue, but Clarke had already turned and started walking back towards camp. Shaking her head, Kat decided that now wasn't the time. Besides, with the state Clarke was in, Kat would probably lose.

She bit back a sigh as they re-entered the camp. It was still swarming with activity as chatting and laughing teenagers worked to get supplies together. "So which one of our lucky campers is currently talking to their family now?" Kat asked as she followed Clarke to the drop ship.

"Dax," Clarke answered, turning to look at her over her shoulder. "You can try and hold back the bitterness, you know." Kat made a face at her when Clarke's back was turned. "And I saw that!"

Kat rolled her eyes in annoyance and they landed on the HQ tent where a tall boy, who she assumed was Dax, was just exiting. The expression on his face was so different than what she had been expecting that she paused mid-stride. Instead of the happy, relieved expressions that the rest of the 100 usually wore after talking with their family, this kid Dax had an angry, determined look on his face. His eyebrows were drawn together and his lips were pressed in a firm line.

He brushed past Kat without looking at her and before shet could pinpoint why he was acting so strange, Clarke was snapping at her to hurry up. The boy faded from her mind as Clarke guided her to the makeshift table and ordered her to take her jacket off.

Kat did as she was told, watching Clarke closely as she pulled Kat's shirt to the side in order to see the stitches. Her movements were stiff and controlled, but it was the furious look in her eyes that gave her away. "I take it the meeting with the council this morning didn't go well?" Kat asked.

"It was fine," Clarke said in a flat voice, using a rag to clean the wound. Kat waited expectantly. If there was one thing she learned about Clarke it was that you couldn't push her for information, she had to choose to give it to you on her own. Sure enough, it only took another minute before Clarke spoke again, the frustration in her voice evident. "They send us down here to die, and then when it turns out that we survive, they praise us and say that we're _doing a really good job_. One of them even suggested that the _kids_ sit tight until the grown-ups arrive on the Exodus ship. As if we didn't go through losing eight of our own, as if we're not currently dealing with an entire race of people that want to kill us. They have _no idea_ what it's been like down here."

Kat nodded. "I completely agree. To be honest I don't know why you're taking orders from them," she pointed out.

"They're the council," Clarke frowned. "And I think Jaha at least is trying to help us – "

"Clarke, you already said that he sent us down here to die. As far as I'm concerned I owe no allegiance to them and I don't have to do anything they say."

"And when the Ark comes down here?" Clarke asked, tilting her head to the side and looking interested.

Kat shrugged her uninjured shoulder. "They're going to try and take over again. Are we just going to fall in line and pretend to be kids again while they make all the rules after everything they've done?"

Clarke sat next to Kat on the bed, looking down at the floor thoughtfully. "I don't know. I guess we'll have to wait and see." She sighed. "Your shoulder looks pretty good, just a little inflamed which probably means you haven't been resting it like I told you to." She sent Kat a pointed look and Kat gave an unashamed grin and shrugged again, slipping her jacket back on and standing up. She made to leave the drop ship when Clarke spoke again. "The council says there's an emergency aid depot close by that was built to withstand a nuclear attack. They said there are supplies in there that we'll be able to use for the upcoming winter. Bellamy and I are leaving soon to go check it out – "

Kat's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Blake?" She repeated in disbelief. "You're taking Blake with you? Why? You're going to kill each other before you even reach the depot."

"I'm in a terrible mood and I'd rather not go with someone I like cause then I'll feel bad for being such a bitch. Look it's already decided, he's agreed to come with me. I'm only telling you because I was hoping you'd keep an eye on things here and -" Clarke looked away for a moment. " And make sure Finn's okay."

Kat looked confused. "Me?"

Clarke who had gotten up to start putting her things away, paused to look at Kat with an exasperated expression. "Yes, you. We may have had a rocky start Kat, but you're my friend and I trust you. I'd ask Octavia too, but she's too pissed to stay in the same room as me, let alone talk to me." Kat, who was still reeling from the casual way Clarke had just said she considered them friends, took a moment to respond.

Clarke looked so troubled and so haunted that Kat's face softened. She hesitated before speaking, knowing she was walking a very fine line. "Octavia will get over it, but maybe you should consider apologizing to her. You did give Blake permission to torture the guy that saved her." Clarke nodded distractedly and Kat knew that wasn't what she was thinking of." Look, I know why you're really so upset, it doesn't take an idiot to figure it out, since you walk out of those council meetings looking like you could breathe fire. It's your mom." Clarke opened her mouth furiously but Kat cut her off. "I'm not telling you what to do, Blondie, relax." Kat's arms unconsciously wound around her stomach as she gave Clarke a small smile. "But you only get one mom. Don't waste it."

Before Clarke could question Kat's uncharacteristic statement, Kat slipped outside, her mind racing. Clarke and Blake, the two leaders, were leaving camp. She needed to go find Octavia.

Kat walked through the camp with her head down, lost in thought about what their half-assed plan. Blake and Clarke were getting ready to leave, and once they were gone Kat was going to use what Octavia called her 'feminine wiles', whatever that meant, to distract Miller and get him away from the grounder, while Octavia snuck in and untied him in order to dress him in normal clothes so they could sneak him past the walls. Apparently, and this was the part that blew Kat's mind, the grounder could not only understand but also speak English, which Octavia told her when Kat brought up concerns of a communication issue.

Looking to kill some time and also appear busy, Kat wandered over to where Jasper and Monty were still cracking open and sorting nuts. Or where they were supposed to be doing that. Instead they were standing a couple feet apart and having a contest as to who could catch more in their mouth. "Hey Kat!" Jasper said, giving her a wide smile. "We're enjoying the fruits – no, the nuts of our labor." He paused for half a second, frowning. "Okay, I heard how that sounded as soon as I said it."

Monty rolled his eyes and turned to Kat. "Want some? We figure since we're the ones who spent hours collecting them that we can eat them as we sort them."

"Sure," Kat shrugged, taking her own handful and popping a few into her mouth.

"So what's going on?" Monty asked, leaning forward. "Why's Clarke stomping around camp all pissed off?"

"Her and Blake are going on a day trip to get some supplies for the winter," Kat answered through a full mouth.

"Together?" Monty gasped, looking horrified. "They'll kill each other!"

"I don't know," Jasper murmured thoughtfully. "Has anybody else noticed how different Bellamy has been acting?"

"Different how?" Kat asked in a casual way, keeping her face blank to hide how interested she was in the answer.

"I don't know," he said again. "More… relaxed maybe?" Kat didn't know how to react to this. He seemed more relaxed around her, but not so much around the camp. Then again, she hadn't really been paying much attention.

Monty snorted. "Of course he's relaxed. He probably gets laid everyday."

Jasper's face fell at the thought. "I wish I got laid everyday," he said wistfully.

Kat made a face. "And that's my cue to leave. I'll see you guys later," she said, taking another handful of nuts and walking off.

She wandered through the camp, munching on the nuts in her hand, absentmindedly watching the rest of the 100 go about their business. She saw Blake kneeling next to a bin, stuffing food rations into his pack and looking suspicious so she headed in his direction. "That's a lot of food," Kat said as a greeting, popping another nut into her mouth. "Just how long are you guys expecting to be gone for?"

He closed his bag and stood up. "It's better to be over prepared than under prepared." He looked down at her with a lopsided smirk. "I'm going on a potentially dangerous trip with no back up. How about a kiss for good luck."

She ignored the way his low murmur caused a shiver to roll down her back. "Maybe later, tough guy," she grinned, putting a hand on his chest and pushing him a step back. "Not in front of the entire camp."

He fondly tugged a strand of her wavy hair. "You're the one that wants to keep what we're doing a secret. I have no problem if everyone knows I'm fucking you," he whispered. "That way they all know you're mine."

"Hey," they heard a voice say, and they both looked around to see Clarke standing there, her own pack on her back. She seemed to pick up on some of the tension between them because she frowned slightly. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Nope," Kat said calmly. "I just caught Blake here taking enough food to last a week."

"Really?" Clarke asked, turning to frown at him. "You know this is only a day trip, right?"

Kat grinned at Blake's un-amused glare as Clarke rounded on him, and sent him a wink behind her back before walking away. She watched from the edge of camp as they finished packing up and set off, with Blake giving one last look at an unmoved Octavia. Just as Kat was about to follow Octavia into the dropship, she caught more movement out of the corner of her eye.

The boy from earlier, Dax, had stood up, staring after Blake and Clarke with a dark look in his eye and an expression on his face that Kat knew all too well. It was a look that her father wore often. The suspicious, uneasy feeling that had settled into Kat's stomach grew worse as she watched him stop and pick up a weapon before slipping out after Blake and Clarke.

Kat stood, undecided for a moment, before making up her mind. Moving quickly, she jogged into the first floor of the dropship and pulled Octavia to the side. "Hey, I don't really have the time to explain, but I need to go and I won't be able to help you with your plan."

"What?" Octavia hissed angrily, eyes flashing. "What do you mean you need to go?"

"It's Clarke and your brother. I think they might be in trouble and I can help."

"But what about what we talked about? You said you'd help me – "

"I know, and I'm sorry. All you have to is get Miller away from the grounder and sneak him out. You're smart, you'll come up with something."

Octavia glared at her. "I hate you."

"No you don't," Kat grinned, backing away. "We're friends remember?"

Her grin widened as Octavia shouted, "I still hate you!" as she walked back outside. She jogged to her tent, stopping by it quickly to pick up the sword she'd taken from the grounder and slinging it over her back. Even though she hadn't mastered how to use it yet, it was still a formidable weapon. Plus she always had her knife hidden in her boot.

Checking over her shoulder to make sure no one was watching her, she slipped out after Dax. It was fairly easy for her to follow his tracks, and since he was moving pretty slowly to make sure Blake and Clarke didn't see him, Kat caught up to him within five minutes. It was extremely boring and the hours ticked by so fucking slowly that Kat could have sworn time was moving backwards.

She spent a long time wondering what Dax was thinking and what he was planning to do. Why was he following Blake and Clarke? Why had he taken a weapon? Was he going to attack them?

Without any answers to her questions, Kat was quickly bored. And thirsty. Those nuts had dried out her mouth and Kat had stupidly forgotten to grab supplies in her rush to get out of camp. She felt a little dizzy and un-coordinated as she walked and she worried that maybe she was getting a little dehydrated. She kept imagining that she heard a woman's voice whispering her name from the trees and when the sun started to set it was more than a little creepy.

She did her best to keep silent as she trailed after Dax, but she felt jumpy and nervous and was afraid that he would hear her. Realizing just in time that Dax had stopped, Kat hid behind a tree and saw what he was looking at. Blake and Clarke were searching the ground for something and eventually they found a hidden door and disappeared inside.

Kat debated what to do. Should she confront Dax? Would he attack her? Could she take him with just one arm? She did have a sword but –

"_Katerinaaaaa…."_

Kat's head whipped around and this time she saw who was calling her name. Her eyes widened in shock, her heart speeding up to an unhealthy rate, her breath leaving her body as if she was punched in the gut. A tall woman with long, wavy black hair and sad brown eyes was watching her from the between the trees. When she caught Kat's gaze, the woman turned into the forest and disappeared into the darkness.

Without making a conscious decision, Kat forgot about Dax and turned from her hiding spot to follow the woman into the forest. No matter how fast she walked or ran, the woman was always the same distance from her. Kat's breath sounded harsh to her own ears, loud in the stillness of the forest.

And then suddenly, the woman stopped, her back still turned towards Kat. Kat cautiously approached her, moving slowly with her heart in her throat. "Mom?" she croaked uncertainly.

The woman turned and Kat couldn't help but gasp. Her mother, looking more beautiful than Kat could ever remember her being, was standing right in front of her, a wide, loving smile on her face. "Hello, baby girl," her mother greeted in her low, melodic voice.

"What are you doing here?" Kat whispered, feeling slightly terrified. "You're dead. This is impossible."

Her mother ignored her questions, and walked closer, lifting a hand to cup her cheek. "Look how beautiful you are. Isn't she beautiful Donovan?" Her mother called over the shoulder.

To Kat's horror, her father materialized out of the darkness, her cold blue eyes void of any emotion. He crossed his arms and leaned against the tree, watching Kat with an unwavering gaze.

Her mother turned back to her, her smile still on her face as if he had answered. Kat reluctantly tore her glare off her father as her mother spoke again. "So how are you doing, baby?" Her mother asked as if this were a normal, everyday occurrence. "Any cute boys that we should know about?"

"What?" Kat started. "No – "

Her mother frowned in confusion. "What about that brooding one with the messy hair?"

Kat blanched. "Blake? There's nothing going on between us. We have an arrangement – "

"So you don't care for him?" Her mother asked in a deceptively innocent way.

"No! Well, I mean, maybe as a friend, but – "

Her mother gave her a sympathetic smile and patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Katerina. It takes time for love to develop between two people – "

Kat gaped at her mother. Where was this coming from? "Love?" Kat spat in disgust. "Love? I don't _love_ him. I don't _love_ anybody."

"Kat – "

"No!" Kat was getting worked up now, irritated with her mother for being so naïve. "I've seen what love does to people. It turns to hate. It turns people bitter, blind to what people are capable of. It causes nothing but pain and I want _nothing_ to do with it," Kat spat, her mouth turned up in a snarl. "Just look at what happened to you."

"What do you mean?" Her mother asked with wide eyes, lower lip trembling. "I loved your father – "

"Exactly!" Kat cried, throwing her hands up in the air. "You loved him and he beat you for years. You loved him and he _killed_ you!"

The darkness pressed in on them and suddenly the entire scene had a very sinister feel. Kat felt as if hundreds of eyes were watching her from the darkness, but the most suffocating was the blue eyes of her father. Her mother's kind and sad brown eyes narrowed and were abruptly filled with hate. The look was so foreign on her mother that it twisted her face into an unrecognizable expression causing Kat to take a step back in shock.

"Did he?" Her mother crooned, walking towards Kat. "Because that's not the way I remember it."

"Mom – " Kat stammered, backpedaling as her mother advanced.

She continued as if she didn't hear her. "The way I remember it, I was protecting you! I wasn't supposed to die," she hissed. "You were!"

Kat paled as the scene suddenly changed, looking all too familiar. It was a scene from 13 years ago, the worst night of her life including the one where her father almost killed her.

She was suddenly five years old again, standing in front of her furious father with her shoulders hunched as he yelled at her for getting in trouble during class. Her mother walked in the front door, the smile that was on her face fading quickly, her eyes widening in horror as she saw what was going on. "No, Donovan!" She cried, leaping forward to grab his arm as he swung it back to hit Kat. Kat flinched as the arm came down, then watched in fear as her parents struggled. Her father tried to shrug her off but she clung to him, screaming, tears streaming down her face.

"Let go of me, Lilah! She needs to be punished!" Her father shouted, taking his other hand and shoving her away from him. Kat could only watch in horror as her mother stumbled backwards, her eyes wide with shock and surprise as she lost her balance and slammed her head against the edge of the kitchen sink with a disgusting, sickening thud.

Kat stood there, frozen, waiting for her mother to get up. "Mama?" she asked tentatively, and when her mother didn't stir, she slowly walked over. Her mother was lying there, her hair matted with blood that was slowly growing in a pool of blood around her head like some morbid halo. Her brown eyes, usually so full of love and laughter, were wide open, staring unseeingly up at the ceiling. "Mama?" She cried again, dropping to her knees and shaking her mothers shoulders. "Mama, wake up!"

Her father grabbed her arm and yanked her up, almost pulling her arm out of her socket. "Look what you did!" He screamed, lifting her a few inches off the floor to yell in her face. "This is all your fault!" He threw her away from him and she winced as she landed hard on the floor, small tears and gasps escaping her mouth. She watched, terrified, as her father paced angrily, muttering to himself and throwing looks at his wife every once in a while. "Alright listen, kid," he snapped, finally stopping to glare at her. "Your mother tripped and fell, hitting her head on the way down. That's what happened, nothing else. Understand?"

Terrified, confused and heart-broken, Kat could do nothing else but nod.

There was a long period of silence in which Kat opened her eyes. Her mother was standing before her again, but this time there was no hate in her eyes, just world-weary sadness. Her hair was matted and as Kat watched, a drip of blood trailed down the side of her mothers face and down onto her neck. She looked thin and pale – like death. She gave Kat a sad smile. "I hope you have a happy life, Katerina." And then she said something that made a shiver of anxiety roll down Kat's back. Her worst nightmare and her greatest fear. "I hope that you love someone as much as I loved your father."

Kat fell to her knees as the image of her mother vanished. She felt empty. Blank. Desperate to avoid the intense, fiery pain and fear that was whipping through her.

"It's like I've been telling you for years, Katerina." A cold voice breathed in her ear. "It's your fault your mother died."

Kat whipped around, reaching over her right shoulder to pull out her sword on the way. Her father was standing a few feet from her, his arms crossed. He looked amused to see the pain that she was experiencing and out of habit she automatically wiped her face blank. "You've said it to me so many times over the years. I really don't need you to remind me again."

His cruel smile tightened slightly. "We're a lot alike, you and I, aren't we?" Kat shifted her grip on the sword, her heart pounding so hard through her body that she actually felt a bit light-headed. "I used to hurt my daughter to discipline her and you… killed your parents as well as another person."

"No…" Kat gasped, terror and alarm spreading through her at the thought. "I'm not like you. I'm nothing like you!"

Her father bared his teeth at her. "You're worse than me, Katerina. You're a murderer."

"No!" Kat cried, leaping forward and slashing at her father. A sword suddenly appeared in his hand and he raised it so they clashed with a loud ringing sound. Kat faltered in surprise at the controlled skill behind his attack. She knew that her father was pretty advanced with most weapons, but as far as she knew, he never practiced with a sword.

Her own sword felt heavy and clumsy in her hand and she knew that it was only a matter of time before she lost. She quickly fell on the defensive, trying to watch his body movements closely in order to determine his next move.

It was difficult for her to concentrate – strange things kept happening with her head. One moment her father's icy blue eyes were glaring at her and the next a pair of confused but determined brown eyes were in its place. Her movements were jerky and uncoordinated and through the pounding of her heart she could have sworn she heard a voice in her head yelling at her to stop. Then she made a fatal mistake.

She shifted her weight back, raising her sword to block his attack too slow and he changed direction in mid-air, flicking the blade around and slamming the hilt of the sword into her head.

Kat collapsed like a dead weight, gasping, the sword falling out of her hands. It took her a few moments of lying on the ground with her eyes closed before she realized that she hadn't passed out and was just waiting for her father's gloating voice and killing blow. When it didn't come, her eyes fluttered up and she groaned as her vision tilted and turned before righting itself. Her head was throbbing painfully as she pushed herself up and looked over her shoulder.

For a second she couldn't comprehend what she was seeing, but after blinking multiple times and the image stayed there, her brain finally began to accept it.

A grounder was looking down at her with narrowed eyes, breathing heavily. He looked young, maybe around her age, with his long hair braided down the middle of his head, the sides of which were completely shaved. He was tall, with a lean body and dark, olive toned skin.

Kat paused for a moment in shock, then lunged for her sword. The grounder was quicker. He kicked the sword away before she could reach it and flicked his own sword point up so it was resting against her neck. Kat froze, breathing heavily, staring up at him and waiting for him to slit her throat. He didn't move, just looked at her with an unreadable expression on his face. "What are you waiting for?" Kat rasped, knowing it was pointless. "Aren't you going to kill me?"

"Where did you get that sword?" The grounder asked.

Kat's mouth flopped open. She was so taken aback by the perfectly fluent English that he spoke that she didn't even register the question that he asked. "You can understand me?"

This time the grounder looked confused. "Of course I can – "

Kat moved quickly. Knocking his wrist to the side, she lunged for her sword again, wrapping a hand around the hilt and rolling with her momentum until she came up in a crouching position. By the grounder had recovered, she was ready and waiting for him.

He looked surprised and slightly impressed with her move but didn't try to attack her again. "Where did you get that sword?" He demanded, taking one step closer. The moonlight shone off his gear and glinted off his brown eyes, making him look every bit of the dangerous grounder. Her heart was now pounding in time with her head. "I know that sword, I've seen it everyday for as long as I can remember. So I'll ask you one more time. Where did you get it?"

Kat couldn't believe her fucking luck. Her she was, out on her own in the woods once again, with a grounder that wanted to fight and probably kill her. How did she get herself into these situations?

"I took it from the last grounder that wanted to kill me," Kat spat, shifting her weight onto the balls of her feet and tightening her grip on the sword. "So if you want to try then go ahead! But I'm warning you now, I'm not going to give up without a fight."

The grounder raised his hands in the universal 'I surrender' gesture. Kat was furious to see a wide, delighted smile on his face. "So, Sky Girl has a little fire in her," he murmured in appreciation. "It doesn't surprise me," he continued softly. "Only someone with a strong will to live would have been able to kill my father."

Surprise jolted through Kat, quickly followed by a sickening feeling that made her go pale. She swallowed hard. "Your father?" she repeated.

The boy considered that. "Well, father in the sense that he got my mother pregnant. But that's as far as his parenting went. When we found his body we didn't understand who was strong enough to fight against him and win. The others will find it amusing that it was a young girl who finished him off."

"He attacked me, put an arrow through my shoulder and tried to choke me to death. I had no choice."

His eyes flickered down to the bruises on her neck. "I apologize for that. He never knew how to control his anger."

Kat eyed him warily. "So you're not angry?" She asked doubtfully. "You don't want to kill me and get revenge?"

He thought about it for a moment, then shook his head. "No, not today."

Still keeping a close eye on him, Kat lowered her sword and took a step back. This was so bizarre. She felt like she entered an alternate universe where grounders were conversationalists and didn't want to murder her. "Who are you?" She asked, mystified.

"My name is Arian," he said, raising his right hand in a fist and placing it on a chest, giving her a small bow. "But everybody calls me Ari. What's your name, Sky Girl?" He countered, putting his sword away, prompting Kat to do the same.

"Kat," She answered.

Ari looked confused and tilted his head to the side. "Like the animal?"

"It's short for Katerina," she said, distractedly, putting her sword back in its sheath. She was still stuck on the fact that she had killed his father and he wasn't going to do anything about it. "I'm sorry about your father. Well, sorry that he had to die, not sorry about what I had to do to live."

"I'm not," Ari said simply. "I never liked him."

"I get it," Kat nodded in understanding, then volunteered a piece of information about herself without knowing the reason why. "I know what it's like to have a dick for a father."

He shifted in embarrassment, looking completely bewildered by that statement. "I don't understand. What does his dick have to do with this?"

"Uh," Kat stammered, her lips twitching in an effort not to laugh at the miscommunication. "Like when he's being an ass – " She broke off, wracking her brain to try and figure out how to explain what she meant.

Ari looked intrigued. "Do all your insults have to do with the private area?" He asked, sounding curious. "What is the insult for a female's privates?"

Kat's eyes widened at the question and she did a weird combination of a gasp and laugh that sent her into a fit of coughing. Her eyes were watering when she could finally breathe properly. He was watching her some concern but didn't move closer to her in an effort to help. "I don't know if you understand how strange it is for me to be having this conversation right now."

"Why?"

"Why?" Kat repeated incredulously. "Your people have killed my people – "

"And yours have captured one of mine," Ari countered, eyes narrowing in response to her tone.

"You drew first blood when you threw a spear through Jasper's chest."

"But we left him alive – "

"Barely! You strung him up in a tree – "

"_Alive_ in a tree!"

"Not to mention the fact that you just killed three more of our own the other day – "

"You were in our territory – "

"We were trying to find our friend that was taken – "

"We knew nothing about that, but even still you kidnapped him and still have him locked up in your camp – "

"But if you noticed we haven't _killed_ him – "

"None of this would have happened if you hadn't landed in our territory – "

"How were we supposed to know?" Kat shouted angrily. Saw how his entire demeanor had shifted, his body tense and his face tight with agitation and anger. He looked like a grounder. "We wouldn't have had any problems if someone would have fucking explained things to us instead of attacking first! We didn't know there were any survivors down here!" They both fell silent, glaring at each other and breathing heavily. Kat snorted and ran a hand through her hair, wincing when she came across the already growing bump. "Damn, did you have to hit me so hard?"

"Yes," Ari said simply. "I think you were hallucinating. You attacked me for no reason and kept saying that you're not like me. You couldn't hear anything I said."

"That would make sense considering I was talking to my dead mother and father," Kat sighed, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes with a groan.

"What did you eat today?" Ari asked. "There are a few things around here that can cause hallucinations."

"Just a few berries and nuts – "

"Ah," Ari nodded, smiling slightly. "Jobi nuts. They cause hallucinations and paranoia to anyone who eats them."

"Anyone who…." Kat trailed off, looking horrified. "Oh no. Our entire camp ate those! Oh god, this is a disaster. Is there an antidote or something? Maybe Clarke can.. maybe… Fuck, I can't believe I forgot about them!" Kat swore, paling quickly. "I have to go!" She started to hurry away then stopped, looking back. "Bye, I guess?"

He gave her a small smile. "I'll see you around, Sky Girl."

Kat turned and ran back the way she came, trying not to wince as every one of her footfalls made the right side of her head pound painfully. She berated herself the entire way, unable to believe that she had let the situation get so out of hand. The reason that she had followed Dax out of camp was because he looked suspicious, because he stopped to pick up a weapon and trailed Clarke and Blake out of camp. He was watching them, waiting for some opportunity and she was supposed to be there to prevent anything if it did happen.

She had let herself get sidetracked with some stupid hallucination about her mother and now her kind of friend Clarke and whatever the hell Blake was may be in trouble. What if she was already too late? Adrenaline racing, Kat pushed herself to move faster, dodging through trees and leaping over fallen branches. She was shocked at how far she had come and hoped more than anything that she would be able to get there in time.

Of course, as she ran it started rain. It dripped in her eyes, clung to every inch of her skin and weighed down her clothes. But worst of all, it made the grass and mud slippery and unstable.

Her heart nearly stopped as she heard two loud popping noises. Kat's first thought was "gunshot" which was impossible because there were no guns on the ground.

As Kat rounded the corner, she quickly took in the scene in front of her. Clarke for some reason, was lifting the gun above her head instead of shooting it, running at Dax and screaming, "Get the hell off him!" Blake, on the other hand was lying on his back in the ground, his face bloody and bruised. He looked half conscious and was barely moving. Dax gave Clarke a wicked elbow to the chest, causing her to fall backwards with a pained gasp and in the same motion he turned his back on Clarke and Kat could see that he was holding a large gun in his hands. He shifted the gun in his grip, lifting it and aiming it at Blake.

_Why wasn't Blake moving? Wasn't he even going to try and attempt to save his own life?_

"Hey!" Kat shouted, so loud that her already sore throat felt like it was on fire. Dax's head shot up and he looked around. It was only then that Kat realized her mistake. She was so intent on stopping Dax from shooting Blake that she forgot that she was putting herself in his line of sight. He lifted the gun and swung it around towards her, but apparently Blake had seen her as well because he finally acted. Using what looked like the rest of his strength, Blake moved, kicking out his leg to sweep Dax's out from under him just as his shot went off.

His shot went wild, missing Kat by a mile as he fell on his back. He struggled to right himself, but before he could get a better grip on his gun, Kat was on him, attempting to take it away from him. They rolled a few times, grunting. Kat kept her left hand on the gun, taking her right and landing a swift punch to his side by his kidney. Dax's breath left him in a pained gasp and Kat used the opportunity to grab the gun and throw it to the side.

He recovered faster then she expected, punching her in the stomach and throwing her off him, scrambling to his feet again and going after Blake once more. He stopped dead in tracks though, and when Kat turned to see why she saw that Blake had moved again and was now kneeling on the ground, the gun trained on Dax. Dax tried to dive to the side but the loud gunshot reverberated through the air, striking him in the shoulder and dropping him to one knee. Gritting his teeth he staggered to his feet once more.

"Shoot him!" Clarke cried, and they both heard the empty click as Bellamy's pulled the trigger. Both Dax and Blake stared at the gun in shock but before Dax could make another move, Kat was on her feet, pulling her sword over her shoulder and plunging it through the left side of his back where it came out on the other side through his heart.

The forest was silent as Kat pulled the blade back out with a sickening sound that would haunt her for the rest of her life. Dax swayed for a moment before falling to his knees and collapsing face down in the mud.

_Three. Three. Three._ The number kept bouncing around in Kat's skull, echoing menacingly. _I'm 18 years old and I've killed three people._ Her stomach rebelled angrily, bile rising in her throat but Kat swallowed hard, forcibly stopping her body's weak reaction.

Her hands were stained. Her heart was stained. Her very soul if she had one, was stained. She was broken. A murderer. And she was going to join her father in hell.

Blake was gasping on the floor, his eyes wide as he stared at Dax's body. Clarke whimpered a little as she struggled into a sitting position, wincing as she pulled herself up to lean against a large tree. Kat wiped the blood off the blade of her sword before putting it away as Blake dragged himself up next to Clarke.

"You're okay," Clarke panted, looking over Blake carefully before turning to Kat, who collapsed on the other side of Blake, just barely in Clarke's line of vision. She couldn't handle Blondie's judgmental stare right now. "You're both okay."

"No," Blake croaked, sounding and looking absolutely awful. "No, I'm not." His eyes were wide and tortured, his voice thick with emotion. "If my mother," he said, his voice wavering. "If she knew what I'd done… who I am. She raised me to be better, to be good." Kat looked away, jaw clenched, wondering what her own mother would think of what her life had become.

"Bellamy," Clarke whispered, sounding sympathetic, but he continued as if he didn't hear her.

"All I do is hurt people," he whispered in a heartbroken voice. "I'm a monster."

"You helped save my life today," Clarke said in a strong voice, looking to get his attention. "You may be a complete ass half the time," Kat snorted at this part. "But…. I need you. We _all_ need you."

Clarke trailed off and Blake hesitated, looking towards Kat. She raised an eyebrow. "What? I agree with Clarke, you're an ass." Clarke leaned forward, sending Kat a warning glare and she sighed. "You're an ass. You're controlling. And you've made some mistakes, some with more consequences than others. But what matters is what you do after those mistakes, what you do to make things better. I've told you multiple times that you're a crappy leader. Recently though…" Kat shrugged, meeting Blake's eyes for the first time, unnerved by the uncertainty and self-hate that she saw reflecting back at her. "You've been different. You've given the 100 a purpose and I've seen you genuinely care about the people you're leading. So yeah, you need to move past this because we need you." She looked away and down at her hands, which she found were shaking slightly, though whether from shock or fear she didn't know. "We've all done things we've regret," she said softly.

Blake, noticing her shaking hand in her lap, slowly reached over to take it. Kat watched him, frowning, as he pulled their hands between them out of Clarke's line of slight and threaded their fingers together. Alarmed and confused, Kat tried to tug her hand free but he just tightened his grip and looked away, holding on tight. She stopped struggling not wanting Clarke to notice and just looked at their joined hands, covered with blood and mud and noticed that his hand seemed abnormally warm before realizing that her hand was almost frozen.

It felt strange, holding hands with him. It made her stomach flop with a sickly, hot feeling. Her hand twitched slightly within his, and he seemed to know she wanted to pull away because he started brushing his thumb across the back of her hand in a similar way to what he did to calm her down when the acid fog horn blew. Her heart jumped a little at the contact and she looked away, clenching her teeth against her body's reaction. She had been intimate with him multiple times before, but holding hands and cuddling seemed like a different kind of intimacy, one that she definitely wasn't comfortable with.

"None of us would have survived this place if it wasn't for you," Clarke continued, drawing Kat's attention once more. "You want forgiveness? Fine, you're forgiven, I'll give it to you. But you can't run, Bellamy. You have to come back with me and Kat. You have to face it."

_Can't run?_ Kat thought, feeling a distant sort of confusion. Her mind flashed back to when she caught him stuffing his pack with food and when she realized that he was planning to leave them, to leave Octavia and even to leave her, anger pushed it's way through the confusion, exhaustion and self-disgust. She shoved it away, resolving to think and talk to him about it later.

"Like you faced your mom?" he countered, though there was no heat in his voice.

"You're right," she admitted. "I don't want to face my mom. I don't want to face any of it. All I think about everyday is how we're going to keep everyone alive. We don't have a choice."

Blake's hand twitched this time, and Kat automatically squeezed it reassuringly. "Jaha will kill me when he comes down," he told them.

"He has no right," Kat pointed out, anger rearing up again. "He sent us down here to die. We don't belong to the Ark anymore."

"We'll figure it out," Clarke promised.

"Well can we figure it out later?" Blake asked with a weary sigh.

"Whenever you want," Clarke said quietly, leaning back against the tree and looking up at the sky. After a moment she spoke again sounding confused. "Not that I'm not grateful or anything, Kat, but what the hell are you doing here? How did you know where to find us?"

Kat, who was still pondering her and Blake's joined hands with a quizzical expression on her face, took a moment to replay Clarke's questions in her head before answering. "I saw Dax watching you guys leaving camp and he had this creepy expression on his face. Add that to the fact that he stopped to pick up a weapon before following you guys out of camp and the whole thing was very suspicious."

"So you left camp on a suspicious whim?" Clarke asked incredulously. "With an injured shoulder?"

"Are you seriously complaining?" Kat asked, closing her eyes. "If I hadn't been here, you might not be alive right now."

"No," Clarke said softly. "No, I'm not."

Blake groaned as he sat up. "It's dark, we should be heading back soon. Who knows what the hell kind of state the camp is in right now. If we experienced hallucinations maybe they did too."

"It was the nuts," Kat told them through a yawn. The adrenaline had left her system and she suddenly felt exhausted. "They cause hallucinations and paranoia."

"How do you know that?" Blake asked, turning to frown at her.

Kat froze for a moment before forcing herself to relax and not give anything away. With Clarke and Blake's history towards the grounders she decided she wasn't going to tell them about her meeting with Ari. He didn't attempt to hurt or kill her and she really didn't want to be responsible for the possible actions of the 100's leaders. For now, at least, Ari was going to be her little secret.

"They're the only thing I ate today, what else could it be?" She lied, her eyes still closed. "But you're right, we should be getting back. What else did you guys find in the depot thing?"

"More guns," Clarke grunted as she shakily got to her feet. "Some blankets and a few other things that we could use. We definitely can't stay there for the winter though, it was cold and damp and – "

"Don't forget about the decaying bodies," Blake added, detangling his hand from Kat's. She wiped it against her pants, not wanting to acknowledge how cold her hand suddenly felt. He winced as he got up, swaying slightly and using the tree for support until his legs were steady under him.

"Nice," Kat replied, wrinkling her noise slightly. She got to her feet as well, in much better shape than the other two except for the heavy pounding from the bump on her head. "Let's get what we need and then head back."

They got back to camp just in time, it seemed. As they were walking through the front gates, they noticed the rest of the 100 gathered in a large group around the bonfire. From their panicked voices it sounded like Octavia had succeeded in the plan and freed the grounder from the dropship. Their voices started to get louder as they approached.

"What if he brings other grounders back?"

"They'll kill us all!"

"Or worse!"

"Let the grounders come," Blake said in a loud voice as they made their appearance. Kat, who had been walking behind them, slipped to the side to watch the effect of the two leaders finally reuniting over something. Clarke walked up next to him, looking out over the crowd of people her face strong and determined. "We've been afraid of them for far too long. And why? Because of their knives and spears? Well I don't know about you. But I'm tired of being afraid." He looked down at Clarke and together they dropped the bags of guns that they had been carrying. Murmurs and cries of relief and joy spread throughout the crowd.

"These are weapons," Clarke called over their voices. "Not toys. And we have to be prepared to give them up to the guards when the dropships come. But until then, they're going to help keep us safe."

"There are plenty more where these came from," Bellamy assured them. "Tomorrow we start training. And if the grounders come… we're going to be ready to fight."

A thrill of fear and foreboding shot through Kat and the picture his words caused. If they fought with the grounder,s more of them would die. What was the point of all this?

Feeling slightly sick by the vicious joy on all the rest of the 100's faces, Kat melted into the darkness and headed for her tent. She needed to put her sword away, and ten minutes to just process everything that happened today, because all of it still seemed so surreal.

When Kat emerged from her tent she immediately went to look for Octavia and found her sitting at the wall, looking out into the dark forest with an orange blanket wrapped around her. She started to head over in her direction and realized too late that Blake was standing behind her. She froze where she was, not wanting to interrupt when she knew things between them hadn't been great recently.

"Cause I'm not going anywhere," she heard him saying to her, his voice low and sincere. Octavia didn't answer or make any move that she heard him and there was a pause.

"Bellamy," they heard Clarke call from the entrance of the dropship. Everyone turned to look at her and Blake noticed Kat standing there. "It's time."

Kat knew what that meant. Jaha was on the video screen, waiting for a chance to talk to Blake about what happened. She wanted to tell him to be strong, to not let Jaha bully him into something that he didn't deserve. She wanted to wish him good luck, but she couldn't find the words. So she just gave him a nod, which he returned.

He started to walk towards Clarke but stopped, and looked back at Octavia.

"That grounder escaping," he said after a moment. "Was that you?"

"I had nothing to do with it," Octavia said in a dead sort of voice. "Thanks for the blanket."

Kat didn't know if he believed her or not, but he didn't say anything else, just turned and followed Clarke into the dropship. Kat waited for a moment, hesitating, before going up and sitting next to her. "Hey," Kat said quietly.

"Hey," Octavia said, leaning her head against the fence and turning to look at her with a small smile.

"Everything went okay, I'm assuming? How did you do it?"

"I noticed the nuts caused hallucinations so I gave some to Miller. It was actually pretty easy after that. I gave Lincoln some regular clothes and he snuck out while everybody was high."

"Lincoln?" Kat repeated, raising an eyebrow.

Kat peered at her, wondering if she was seeing things in the dim light of the fire. Octavia was _blushing_. "That's his name," she told Kat. "Lincoln."

"You talked to him?" Kat asked in disbelief.

Octavia nodded, looking back out into the forest, her fingers lightly tracing her lips. "He kissed me."

Kat nearly fell off the rock she was sitting on. "He WHAT?" Kat hissed. "Octavia you were supposed to set him free! Nowhere in the plan did it say to pause and make out with him!"

"The plan went to shit when you ditched me!" Octavia hissed back. "And it's not like I planned on it, it just happened."

Kat's mouth was hanging open. "How was it?" She asked, head tilted to the side in curiosity. "Do grounders kiss like us?"

Octavia smacked her in the arm. "Of course they do you idiot, they're still human!" She snorted, shaking her head. "It was.. it was really good. Different from anything that I experienced with Atom."

Kat didn't know what to say to that so she fell silent and the pause stretched between them. "How did things go on your end? Was ditching me worth it?"

"If you consider saving both your brother and Clarke from a murderous teen worth it then yeah, I'd say so."

"What?" She looked shocked and alarmed. "What happened?"

Kat ran through her story, leaving out the part about her hallucinations and her meeting with Ari. "Your brother was in bad shape, Octavia. He's pretty messed up about everything that's happened and is finally coming to terms with what he's done. Maybe you should cut him some slack. I'm not saying forgive him or anything, but just talk about where he's coming from."

"That's surprising, coming from you," Octavia commented, with a snort. "You guys fight all the time. What changed?"

Kat frowned. "I don't know. I think I can just see that he's actually trying this time. He wants to do what's right."

Octavia nodded slowly. "I'll think about it. Maybe I'll talk to him tomorrow." They both fell silent, just staring out into the forest in a companionable silence. Eventually Kat said good night, feeling cold without a blanket and headed in the direction of the tents.

At the last moment she changed course and headed for Blake's tent instead. She wanted to know how the conversation with Jaha went, but when she got there, he hadn't come back yet. She sat down on his bed to wait, biting her nails and wondering what was taking them so long.

She finally allowed herself time to think about how Blake was planning on running away. She understood his reasons for it, but what she couldn't understand was her reaction to it. Not only was she furious, but for some reason she was also hurt. Why did the thought of him leaving make her want to scream and punch somebody in the face?

About five minutes later Blake stepped inside, freezing in his tracks when he saw her standing there. "Kat," he said in surprise, his eyes flickering around his tent in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

She had stood when he came in, rubbing her hands along her pants. "I wanted to know how it went with Jaha."

A broad, relieved smile crossed his face. "I'm officially pardoned for my crimes."

"Oh good," she said, and even she could hear the relief in her voice. He stood there, grinning at her, and Kat was abruptly angry again. She strode forward a few steps and punched him hard on the shoulder.

"Ow!" He cried in shock, cradling his arm and turning away from her. "What the hell was that for?"

"That was for even considering running away." She punched him again. "And that was for thinking you could leave m- Octavia," she said at the last minute, hoping he didn't realize her slip up.

"It was stupid, okay? But I thought they were going to kill me – "

"We could have dealt with that together." Her grey eyes were narrowed and anger made her voice tremble. "What you do and the choices you make affect the people around you, how many times have I told you that?"

"Does it affect you?" Bellamy asked seriously, his eyes searching her face carefully. "Would you have cared if I left?"

"No – " Kat sputtered, shaking her head. "I don't –" She stopped, drawing a breath and glaring at him. "Octavia's my friend and I was worried she was going to lose the only family she had left." Her eyes flickered around the tent, not looking at him. She needed to get out of there. "I should go back to my own tent, it's bee a really long night – "

"Wait," Blake said, lightly grabbing her wrist as she went to brush by him. She paused, glancing back at him to see that his eyes were wide and he looked contrite. "Don't go."

"Blake, I'm definitely not in the mood – "

"I know," he said quickly, his hand moving down her wrist to lightly clasp her fingers. "I'm not either. Just don't go." He waited until she looked up at his pleading, uncertain gaze and saw the pain lurking behind his eyes, could feel the tension in his body. "I sleep better when you're here," he whispered, letting his vulnerability show. "Stay. Please."

Her first reaction was to rip her hand out of his and storm out. She hesitated, thinking of what he had been through and what she had been through, and realized that she didn't want to be alone, either.

So Kat nodded, and though Blake didn't say anything, she could feel the relief in his body. Without speaking, Kat toed off her boots and slipped off her jacket, Blake doing the same on the other side of the bed, though he took his shirt off too. He climbed in first, then lifted the blankets back so she could slip in beside him. She settled on her side, her back to his front and he wrapped an arm around her stomach, pulling her closer and burying his head in her neck.

She lay there stiff for a while, but the warmth of his body and the exhaustion of her night caused her to relax. Just before she fell asleep, she heard Blake whisper, "Good night, Kitten."

* * *

**Author's Note: I had more planned for this chapter originally, but this ended up being long enough so I had to cut it in half. What did you guys think? Arian was a pretty recent addition and that was a hard scene to write so if you could let me know how you liked him that would be a big help.**

**I just wanted to mention a couple of things really quick.**

**First of all, almost 300 reviews, are you guys kidding me? I'm so blown away by your positive responses, all your reviews really helped me get through this difficult time. I know that a lot of people read stories on this site without reviewing them (I'm guilty of this as well) so I'm grateful for all of you that take the time to say something nice or constructive about my story. Especially since this isn't a Bellarke story. Thank you for supporting Kat and I :) **

**Secondly, I just went through my timeline for Free to Live, Free to Love and realized that we are officially more than half way through with the story! As of right now, barring any other epiphanies and additions. there are about seven or eight chapters left. I can't believe I've come this far and I'm so excited by what I have planned! So if there's anything that you guys want to see, scenarios between Kat and Bellamy, or Kat and Clarke/Octavia/Raven, now's the time to let me know. I'm open to any and all suggestions!**

**Finally, I did get a few reviews that mentioned that sex take up the majority of my story. I was a little taken back by this, because I personally don't feel like it does, but I just wanted to throw it out there and see if you guys agree with this. That being said, I had a very specific vision of how I was going to write this story in my head when I started. While I do appreciate all your comments and opinions, sex is going to continue to be a part of my story. I will make sure to warn my readers in the author's note beforehand and you can skip it if you would like. I just wanted to bring that up. I've tried to have the plot of the story the most important part, with sex adding and enhancing that, but I'm sorry if that's not how it comes across.**

**Thanks for reading this absurdly long author's note. Hopefully my semester from hell will give me at least one day a week to write my next chapter. Don't forget to review! Until next time :)**


	16. More Firsts

**Author's Note: Thank you to everybody who reviewed/favorited/followed my story! You're all amazing. Special thanks to Dannylionthe1st for being an awesome beta!**

**Want to hear something interesting? No? Well I'll tell you anyway! Out of 1,900 stories on The 100 page, only 126 of those have an OC in them! I just wanted to point this out and tell you all again how thankful I am that you guys support Kat and I. Go Bellerina : ) **

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS EXPLICIT. (This is your one and only warning) But it was so much fun to write! Hope you guys like it!**

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Chapter 16: More Firsts

Kat was having a strange dream. She was running, stuck inside a dark maze with no way of escape. The hedges were high and menacing, a thick, coiling mist was writhing on the ground and nameless, voiceless shapes were chasing her. No matter how many times she looked over her shoulder she never saw the people or creatures chasing her, but she knew that they were there. Her breath escaping her body in gasps, cold sweat was pouring down her face and neck and her muscles were burning. Gritting her teeth she pumped her arms and legs faster but instead she felt like she was slowing down. The mist was dragging at her feet like quicksand and just as she felt the cold fingers of her pursuer grasping at her arm, something jolted her awake.

It took her a moment to remember that she wasn't in her tent, and another moment to realize what woke her up. Looking over to the side, she saw that Blake was no longer wrapped around her, but he was still sleeping, though it definitely didn't look peaceful. He was curled on his side, his body tensed and hunched as if he was experiencing pain.

"No," he moaned, his eyebrows drawn together, his face contorted in anguish, mouth turned down in a frown. "No, please. I'm sorry," he whispered. Kat found it hard to breathe when she saw the pain and torture that he was going through. "I didn't mean to. I didn't know!"

"Blake," Kat murmured, hesitantly reaching out to shake his arm. "Blake, wake up." His eyes flickered frantically behind his eyelids as he let out a pained, choked, groan and Kat sat up straighter, leaning over him with a pounding heart. "Wake up, Blake, wake up!"

His eyes shot open as he woke with a gasp, and in a move that Kat did not see coming, before she could even blink, Blake snarled and flipped them over so that he was straddling her, a look of terrifying fury on his face, one of his hands wrapped around her throat. Kat was breathless, her eyes wide with shock and fear. Realizing that he wasn't fully awake yet, Kat ignored the hand on her throat and her natural instinct to fight back and raised both of her shaking hands to cup his face.

"Look at me, Blake," she murmured, keeping her voice calm and soothing, focusing only on his deep brown eyes that she had gotten to know so well. "It was only a nightmare. It's okay. Come back to me."

Blake blinked a few times, and she actually saw the expression clear on his face. His eyes were still wild as he looked around in confusion, taking in their surroundings and removing his hand from her throat. His eyes locked with hers again. "Kitten," he breathed, before taking her hands off his face and pinning them above her head, capturing her lips in a hard, desperate kiss.

Kat's eyes were still wide with surprise, and it took her a few seconds to get over it. Blake's lips were impatient as he worked to coax a reaction from her. Her eyes fluttered shut as she began to kiss him back and he responded even more eagerly. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and she could feel the desperation and need in his body as he nudged her legs open with his knee and settled between them. She nipped lightly at his bottom lip and he let out a loud groan, his hips flexing forward, making her gasp and her back arch. She really shouldn't have been surprised at how fast he was ready to go, and the thought burned through her until she was writhing underneath him.

Blake pulled back for a moment, his eyes a dark brown. "I need you," he panted, his voice hoarse and Kat could do nothing but nod, her entire body pulsing. Things moved very quickly after that. He sat back, pulling her with him and tearing off her shirt and bra, then their remaining articles of clothing.

He was back within seconds, kissing her again as he opened her legs wide, sinking deep inside her. They moaned into each other's mouths at the feeling, but Blake gave her no time to savor it. He was moving right away, pulling almost all the way out and slamming back in again, his breathing so harsh that he had to stop kissing her, choosing instead to bury his head in her neck.

The very small part of Kat that wasn't entirely consumed in lust and need was slightly concerned with the tension in his body and his frantic movements. But she thought she understood. Whatever he had been dreaming about had frightened and disturbed him so much that he needed that human interaction and connection to remind him of where he was. She wrapped her legs around his waist, bringing him deeper and making her moan. Her hands trailed up and down his back, nails biting into his skin as the coil inside her tightened. Drenched in sweat, Kat clung to him, gasping, reaching, and then –

Blake's hips snapped forward one last time and he let out an animalistic growl as he reached his climax, his muscles clenched as his body shuddered through his release. He collapsed against her, panting heavily, his face still in her neck. Kat stared up at the tent, also breathing heavily, though for a different reason. She had been so fucking close. Just a few more seconds. Unsure of what to do, her legs loosened around his waist and her hands stilled on his back.

Blake slipped out of her, shifting up onto his elbows so some of his weight was off her. "Hey," he greeted, breathing heavily, a small smirk playing around the edges of his lips. The pain and fear that was in his eyes from his nightmare were gone.

"Hi," Kat panted, distracted by the extremely uncomfortable feeling in her body. She wondered if she could finish what he had started herself, but she had no idea where to even begin.

He frowned, as if really looking at her for the first time. "Are you okay?"

"Ummm," Kat said awkwardly, not looking at him as she shifted uncomfortably.

His expression cleared." You didn't…?" Kat shook her head, blushing, and Blake looked slightly embarrassed. "Sorry," he muttered, sheepishly. "I'll make it up to you."

He leaned down, pressing a kiss to her throat right above her fluttering pulse. Kat frowned, still looking up at the ceiling of the tent. "What are you doing? You can't possibly be ready to go again – "

"Even I'm not that good," he murmured into the hollow of her throat. "Just sit back and relax."

She did as she was told, her eyes closing as she enjoyed the feeling of his warm lips on her body. He trailed kisses down her body, between her breasts, then moving from one breast to the other before moving down to her stomach. His tongue swirled inside her bellybutton, causing a hot feeling to swoop in her lower stomach. She was panting, her body warm and ready to go. "Blake?" She rasped, sitting up on her elbows and looking down at him in confusion. "What are you – "

"Do you trust me?" He asked, pausing to look up at her. They both fell silent as the full impact of this question hit them. Blake's expression turned uncertain as Kat took the time to fully think about her answer. She thought about all the bad things he did, the mistakes he made and the people he hurt. Then she thought about how he kissed her in order to stop her panic attack. She thought about how he had awoken the desire inside her and taught her what it meant and how to use it. She thought about their first time together and how careful and controlled he was. When he grabbed her face during her acid fog panic attack and told her that he wouldn't let her die, that they would get through this together.

Kat felt dazed as the realization slammed home. She, Kat Hale, trusted Bellamy Blake. It felt like a big, dangerous step in whatever relationship they had and to be completely honest it terrified Kat more than anything she had experienced since she had been down on the ground. She didn't want to tell him, didn't want to be faced with whatever step came next, but he was still looking at her with carefully guarded expression, looking as if he was preparing himself for a slap across the face.

"Yes," Kat whispered, without having made the conscious decision to do so. "Yes, I trust you."

He stared at her for a moment with an unreadable look on his face, before giving her a pleased grin and nodding. "Good. Now watch."

Still leaning up on her elbows, Kat watched as he scooted farther down her body, positioning himself between her legs. Keeping eye contact, Bellamy placed his hands on her knees, opening her legs and pressing a kiss to her thigh. She watched, feeling both confused and completely aroused as he continued pressing warm, open mouth kisses up one thigh and then the other. Her chest heaved and she couldn't believe how hot he looked and how turned on she was.

His mouth moved higher and higher and when she finally guessed his destination, she felt slightly mortified. "Wait," she objected breathlessly. "What are you doing?"

"It's alright, Kitten," he soothed, his thumbs rubbing circles on her thighs. "I promise you're going to like this."

"This is a thing?" She asked, feeling nervous. "People do this? Isn't it kind of…. gross?"

"I almost forget how innocent you are," Blake murmured with a small chuckle. "Yes, people do this, and no it isn't gross. I've been wanting to do this ever since that first time. You smell sweet, somehow, and I can already guess that you're going to taste good. Now relax."

Kat had time to take one last breath before his mouth was on her. She gasped at the feeling, her head tilted back and her eyes wide open as the fiery heat inside her flared to life with a vengeance. Kat couldn't comprehend the flood of emotions and feelings roaring through her as his mouth worked on her. "Oh fuck," she groaned as he inserted first one finger and then another inside her.

She was coiling tighter and tighter as she got closer, her hands reaching down to thread through his hair. Blake had to place one arm across her hips to hold her down as she writhed against him, panting, in disbelief at how good this felt. He looked up at her, smirked slightly, then sucked hard, curling his fingers against her sweet spot at the same time and that was it, Kat was gone.

"Blake!" She cried out in surprise as she exploded around him, her eyes squeezed tightly shut, her mouth open in a silent scream as the white-hot heat spread to her fingertips and down to the tips of her toes. Her body pulsed and twitched, and Kat was pretty sure she blacked out for a few moments because when she became aware of her surroundings again she was lying flat on her back, staring up at the tent again.

Though it was a giant effort, Kat glanced down to see Blake sucking his fingers clean, a wide, pleased grin on his face. "Damn I'm good," he said, a twinkle in his eyes.

Kat rolled her eyes. "If I had the strength the punch you, I would. Just give me a minute."

"Take all the time you need," Blake said in a happy voice, crawling up her body and placing small kisses up her chest, neck, and all over her face. "I'm just going to be replaying you coming and calling my name, over and over," he murmured, hovering a few inches above her lips. "So fucking sexy."

"I'm so glad we found a better use for your mouth other than just talking," Kat sighed, threading her fingers through his hair and pulling his face down to hers. There was no more heat in their kisses, they were content and satisfied, and they took the time learning each other's mouths. Kat followed his lead, marveling not for the first time at how fantastic a kisser Blake was, though she tried not to think about how he got to be good at it. He used the perfect amount of lips and tongue, and his movements were fluid and sensual. This was a different kiss than the passionate, desperate ones they usually shared but Kat enjoyed it just the same. Sometimes she thought that a day spent kissing Blake was a day well spent.

She let out a happy sigh into his mouth, scraping her nails slightly against his scalp, causing him to shiver. With one last peck, he pulled away, collapsing onto his back and gathering her in his arms so her head was resting on his chest, her arm across his stomach and one of her legs threaded between his as he pulled the blanket over them. She still felt boneless and dazed and she didn't resist as he maneuvered her body next to his.

Her breathing evened out as she lay with her cheek pressed against his chest. His warmth and the slow rise and fall of his chest along with the feel of his hand leisurely threading through her long hair almost made her fall asleep. She couldn't though, not without answers. As she lay there, her mind began to wake up with questions and concerns and before she knew it there was no chance of her falling asleep.

Preparing herself, not knowing what his reaction was going to be, Kat turned in his arms so she was lying on her stomach, her arms across his chest and her head resting on the backs of her hands so she could see his expression. His face was relaxed; no worry lines, no frowning, no stress.

Kat had never taken the time to appreciate how truly handsome he was. She knew his sculpted (and in her mind, perfect) body intimately, but she had never admired his face before.

Blake lazily opened one eye and peeked down at her, the corner of his mouth lifting. "See something you like, Kitten?" He asked, his voice husky with exhaustion. She didn't answer right away, just watched him. He opened his eyes fully, sitting up slightly so he could see her better. One of his hands was wrapped around her back and waist, but the other hand reached out, rubbing his pointer finger against the crease between her eyebrows. "What are you thinking about?" He asked curiously.

"What were you dreaming about before I woke you up?" Kat asked quietly. His expression immediately darkened as he looked away. "Was it…" She hesitated for a moment, then just went for it. "Was it about what happened earlier? With the hallucinations?"

He didn't answer right away, but looked back at her thoughtfully, both of his eyes flickering between hers. "I'll tell you what it was about," Blake finally said. "But you have to tell me your story too. Because if you were following Dax then you should have been there right when he attacked us. You showed up late, which leads me to believe that something happened to you."

"Smartass," Kat muttered, feeling both annoyed and amused. What he had just done was exactly a move that she would have made. "Alright," she conceded, after thinking for a moment. "That's fair. You tell me what your nightmare was about and I'll tell you about my hallucination yesterday."

His hand began to move across her back again, seeking to distract himself. Kat, who was usually so self-conscious about her scars, didn't mind that he was absentmindedly tracing them. "My nightmare was just another version of my hallucination," Blake said, eyes on the ceiling of the tent. "Jaha was there, whispering in my ear about how I killed over 300 people. And then they were there." Even though he wasn't looking at her, Kat could see the darkness and the overwhelming pain behind his eyes. "They came up to me, one by one, and were telling me about what they had left behind. Their jobs, their parents…their kids. They were confused and angry, but worst of all, they were sad. So sad that it was like I could physically feel their grief. _I_ did that. I killed those people, I took away people's loved ones – " He broke off, blinking rapidly and clearing his throat. His hand paused for a couple seconds before starting up again. "I'm a – "

"Monster," Kat finished. "Yeah, you mentioned that. But the difference is, you had no idea what would happen when you threw that radio in the river. If you had known that the Ark would kill 300 people to save oxygen, would you have done it?"

"Probably not, but – "

"Okay then," Kat said simply. "You shouldn't feel like – "

"Don't tell me how I should feel!" Blake snapped. There was a long, tense moment of silence during which he sighed. "I may not have personally killed all those people, but I had a hand in it and I can't help how I feel. You don't know what it's like – "

"Don't I?" Kat asked in a quiet voice. "I've been a murderer since I was 13 years old. I've now killed three people. With my own hands, not because I threw some radio into a river."

"People who were trying to kill you – "

"Does that make it any better?" Kat questioned, avoiding his gaze now. She pushed herself off him, turning her back to him and pulling her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. "I see them, when I close my eyes. My demons don't say anything, though. They just stand there, staring at me with accusation in their eyes."

She heard the blankets rustle as Bellamy sat up, his front to her back, wrapping his arms around her. "We make a pretty fucked up pair, don't we?"

Kat snorted. "We're perfectly imperfect," she muttered, wiping a tired hand across her face. "Damaged goods."

"Speaking of," Bellamy said in a lighter tone, giving her a small nudge. "It's your turn. What happened to you yesterday before you saved us?"

Kat took a deep breath, her mind drifting back to her hallucination as she unconsciously leaned against Blake for support. "I saw my mother yesterday."

She felt Blake still behind her. "Your mother?" He repeated, voice thick with curiosity. "I've never heard you talk about her before."

"She died when I was five," Kat said in a hollow voice. "I saw her, yesterday, looking just like I remembered her. I forgot about Dax when I saw her and followed her into the forest. My father showed up," her voice turned bitter at this point. "And I had to live through her death all over again."

"How did she die?" Blake asked softly.

"Protecting me," Kat replied in a wretched voice. "I had gotten in trouble in school and my father was going to "discipline" me. My mom walked in and tried to stop him. He shoved her off him and she fell, cracking her head against the sink. She died instantly." Kat's eyes clenched shut. "All because I had gotten into trouble."

"You can't be serious," Blake protested, turning his head to look at her sharply. "Have you been blaming yourself for your mother's death all these years?"

"And you don't blame yourself for yours?" Kat asked, raising an eyebrow. He didn't respond and she knew she was right. "People can tell us that it wasn't our fault and that we shouldn't take the blame. And maybe a part of us does understand that. But we'll always feel that pain, won't we?"

"So what do you do?" Blake asked in a hopeless voice. "How do you make it stop?"

"Before? I was so afraid of my father that I did whatever he asked and believed whatever he said. But here? Down on the ground?" Kat shrugged, turning to look at him. "It almost feels like a second chance. I've gotten a taste of freedom and I'll do whatever it takes to keep it. Even if it means killing someone who was trying to kill me." She sighed. "The pain doesn't ever really stop. Since I've been down on the ground I've been attempting to accept the darkest parts of myself and learn from my mistakes. Also," A sly grin worked its way over her face. "When I'm feeling particularly shitty, it helps to distract myself by doing something that makes me feel good."

Kat slipped Blake's arm off her, getting on her knees and turning to face him. She placed one hand against his chest and slowly pushed him down onto his back. His delighted smirk matched hers as she swung a leg of his hips, bracing her hands on either side of his head so her face hovered over his. She ignored the painful twinge in her shoulder as she began to press kisses along his jaw line.

His hands slipped up her thighs, settling on her hips. He choked back a groan, his fingers digging in as she sucked on his earlobe. "I make you feel good?" Blake asked, in a raspy voice.

Kat pulled back slightly, looking down at him. His eyes were dark with lust, but there was an uncertain, almost vulnerable look on his face. She gazed down at him with a thoughtful expression on her face. "You make me forget about my pain," She told him in a soft, honest voice.

Blake's eyes flickered between hers. "Where did you come from, Katerina Hale?" He asked, wonder in his voice. His hand, which had reached up to cup her cheek, slid around to tangle in her hair so he could pull her face down to his. He explored her lips, tentatively at first, then with greater intensity. His other hand trailed up and down her back, causing her to shiver.

Blake coaxed her mouth open and slipped his tongue inside where it playfully brushed against hers and withdrew before repeating the process again. Kat moaned, nipping his bottom lip in frustration. She could feel him growing harder against the inside of her thigh and her insides clenched in response. She couldn't help rubbing against him, but not quite taking him inside. She was rewarded with a deep growl in Blake's chest as once again things seemed to become hot and frantic between them.

Her heart was pounding in her chest, and everywhere he touched her seemed to leave a trail of fire that she needed to quench. She let him lead, unable to form to consecutive thoughts, especially when his hand slipping between them to see if she was ready. She moaned into his mouth as he touched her, still unable to believe how good this felt –

"Hey, Bellamy, some of us were wondering when – " Miller walked into the tent and froze mid-sentence when he saw them, eyes wide in shock.

Kat had gasped in surprise, burying her face in Blake's neck, her hair falling on either side so Miller couldn't see her. Blake moved quickly as well, shouting, "What the fuck, Miller?" as he used one hand to hold Kat's head to him and the other to yank the blanket up and cover their bodies.

Miller clapped a hand over his eyes. "I'm sorry!" He shouted frantically. "I didn't know – "

"What are you still doing here?" Blake roared. "Get the fuck out!"

With one hand still over his eyes, Miller turned, using his other hand to find the tent flap so he could leave. Kat let out the breath she was holding once he was gone, the tension leaving her body as she sat up, the mood officially ruined. "Oh god," she groaned, running an anxious hand through her hair. "I can't believe that just happened."

"I'm gunna kill him," Blake growled, his eyes narrowed.

"You'll do nothing of the sort," Kat told him, reaching for her underwear and pants.

"Like hell I won't. He – " Blake broke off, frowning. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm leaving before more of us come wandering in here, wanting to talk to their precious leader." She slipped on her bra and shirt as she talked, then shrugged on her jacket. "Besides, I'd say the mood is officially ruined, wouldn't you?"

"No," Blake disagreed immediately, reaching out and snagging her wrist, tugging her back to him and kissing along her neck. "I'm almost positive I can persuade you to stay," he murmured. Kat's head involuntarily titled to the side, her eyes drifting shut as he kissed along her pulse point.

"Mmmm," Kat hummed, giving him another moment before pulling away. "I'm sure you could. But I'm having way too much fun keeping you all to myself and I don't want to lose that just yet. So I'm going to leave before someone figures out what we're doing." She turned in his arms, kissing him one last time. She pulled back, one of her hands playing with the strands of hair at the back of his neck, giving a small smile when he shuddered. "Sometimes I wish we could spend one whole day in bed together without being interrupted or worrying about getting caught," she mused softly, before shaking her head. "See you later, tough guy."

She peeked outside to make sure that no one was around before leaving the tent, a grin still on her face. She wandered around camp for a little bit, taking a handful of berries as breakfast and watching as the camp began to wake up around her. Unsurprisingly, she quickly became bored.

Catching sight of Octavia leaving her tent, she headed in her direction. "Hey, Octavia!" She greeted. "You up for some training?"

"Hey Kat," Octavia answered slowly, peering at her suspiciously. "What is this, what's going on?" She asked, waving a hand in Kat's face.

Kat frowned and smacked her hand away. "What are you –"

"You're smiling!" Octavia was gaping at her as if Kat had just broke out into song. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile like that."

Kat rolled her eyes at the other girl's antics. "Don't be so dramatic. Do you want to train or not?"

"Sure," Octavia replied, still looking at her oddly. "I can meet you over there in five minutes. Why don't you ask Miller too? He wanted to learn awhile ago."

Kat's heart skipped a beat as she thought about Miller and what he had just walked in on. _He didn't see your face_, Kat reminded herself, willing the blush to die down. "Sure," Kat croaked, clearing her throat. "I'll ask him."

Kat looked around the camp for any sign of Miller as Octavia walked away. She walked around the camp as she looked, stopping by her own tent to pick up the sword on the way, just in case. After looking for a couple minutes she finally spotted him off to the side, chopping more wood for the fire.

"Hey Miller," she said cautiously, walking up to him with her hands in her pockets. He paused in his chopping, his shoulders tense, but he didn't look over at her or say anything. She frowned, shifting uncomfortably. "Octavia and I were thinking of training for a little bit – "

"No."

Kat blinked. "What – "

"I'm good," he said shortly, his voice cold. He kept swinging the axe, now with slightly more force. Kat watched him, her mouth hanging open, completely taken aback by his rudeness.

"What's wrong with y-"

"Why don't you go sleep with Bellamy and leave me the fuck alone?" He snarled, still not looking at her.

Kat paled, her heart spasming in her chest. "I don't know what you're – " She tried to say weakly.

Miller gave a disgusted snort, tossing the axe to the side as he finally turned to face Kat. "I know it was you this morning in his tent. The girl's back was full of scars and I know the history between you and your father. Plus, I know you, Kat. I recognized you."

Kat felt like she was overheating. This couldn't be happening, no one was supposed to find out. "Miller, I – "

"Was all this just a game to you?" Miller asked, and for the first time Kat could hear the pain and the hurt in his voice. His eyebrows were pinched together and his teeth were clenched. "Were you just using me to make Bellamy jealous?" She didn't answer and he let out a derisive laugh. "You know, it all makes sense now. He threatens me to stay away from you – "

"He did what?" Kat interrupted sharply.

"He told me that if I didn't stay away from that he would make my life a living hell," Miller said impatiently, shaking his head in disgust. "Look, I don't want to be a pawn in whatever fucked up game you and Bellamy are playing," he told her, picking up the axe again and slinging it over his shoulder. "So just do me a favor and stay the hell away from me." The glare he gave her, full of revulsion and hate, caused her actual pain. "You two deserve each other."

Kat watched him stalk away, feeling like an absolute bitch. She felt taken aback by the things that he had said. He was right though, she had never stopped to consider his feelings, she had only used him to make Blake jealous, to show him that she could move onto someone else too.

Knowing that she had unintentionally hurt him made her feel sick to her stomach.

* * *

**Octavia's POV**

Octavia ducked back out of the tent after filling her water canteen and headed towards where she and Kat trained the other day. She slowed down as she walked, noticing her brother standing outside his tent with his arms crossed, his eyes trained on something that she couldn't see.

As she drew closer, she saw that Bellamy was staring at Kat as she headed towards Miller. "You noticed it too, didn't you?" Octavia said in a light tone, determined to try and stay civil.

Bellamy gave her a sidelong glance, pausing in his surprise to see her talking to him. "Noticed what?"

"She's _smiling_," Octavia said in a hushed voice, still so flabbergasted. "Kat's happy and I can't figure out why."

"Is it wrong that she might be happy?" Octavia, who had been watching Kat to avoid looking at her brother at the risk of getting angry again, frowned at the tone to his voice. She glanced up him and her brow furrowed.

His head was tilted to the side and his normally distant, controlling brown eyes were filled with a warmth that Octavia had seen often. Throughout her childhood, in fact. Whenever she had been scared of going into the dark hole under the floor. Whenever she had gotten a scrape or a bruise when she was little. Whenever she was getting ready for bed and he would tell her a story to help her relax.

But what really struck Octavia was the small smile that was playing on the corners of his lips. It matched Kat's.

Octavia's eyebrows shot up at the same time her mouth flopped open. She pointed a finger at him, mouthing wordlessly for a moment before stuttering, "You – you and – but – ?"

Bellamy, looking slightly alarmed at the look on Octavia's face, took her elbow and steered her inside his tent. "Take a breath, Octavia, before you pop a blood vessel."

"You're – you're together with Kat - ?"

"Not in the way you're thinking," Bellamy interrupted, shaking his head. "We're just sleeping together." He flinched in surprise as Octavia punched him in the arm. "Ow! What the hell – "

"You – stupid – idiot," Octavia snarled, punctuating each word with a punch. "She was my friend first! Does she know about your harem on the side?"

Bellamy let out an amused snort, raising one eyebrow. "My what?"

"Your harem!" Octavia cried, throwing her hands up in the air. "The large number of girls that you have slept with and are still sleeping with – "

"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm not sleeping with anyone else," Bellamy informed her, crossing his arms again.

Octavia's mouth opened and closed a few times, speechless. Some of her anger seemed to drain away as she stared at him in a different way, almost calculating. "How long has this been going on?"

Bellamy shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "I don't know, a couple of weeks." He turned to face her completely, looking down at her with a serious expression on his face. "Listen O, you can't tell anybody."

"Why?" She asked, confused.

"It's just sex. Kat doesn't want anybody to know, says they might get the wrong idea."

Octavia was crossing her arms now. "You know this isn't going to work, right?"

Bellamy looked perplexed. "Why not?"

Octavia shook her head at her brother's stupidity. "Sex is the most intimate act that two people can do together. If you keep this up, someone's going to develop feelings – "

"There are no feelings," Bellamy interjected immediately.

Octavia, who had been watching him closely, widened her eyes in astonishment. "You're lying," she gasped in disbelief. "You always look away when you lie to me! I can't believe this, how ironic – "

"I care about her, alright?" He snapped in agitation. "But I also care about what happens to the rest of us down here on the ground – "

Octavia smirked. "You can keep lying to yourself all you want, big brother. And don't think this resolves any problems between us because I haven't forgiven you and I don't think I can ever forget the things you said to me."

Regret and pain crossed Bellamy's face. "O – " he tried, but she shook her head, stopping him.

"I don't want to talk about that right now. What I do want to say is that Kat is one of the only people down here that I trust, and she's become a really good friend. She has had one of the most tragic, difficult lives and in spite of it all, she is the strongest person I know. So if you hurt her in any way, we're going to have a problem."

"I'm your brother, shouldn't you be saying these things to her?" A humorless smile touched his lips at her glare. "I know what kind of life Kat has had. The last thing I want to do is hurt her."

"Good," Octavia nodded, turning to leave his tent. "Make sure you don't," she warned over her shoulder.

She exited his tent and paused for a second, taking a deep breath and wiping a weary hand over her face. Her brother and her friend. Having sex. Multiple times. Octavia wrinkled her nose. Part of her wanted to put an end to it. She knew how Bellamy was with women; he had a one and done type attitude and normally didn't go back to the same girl twice. So the fact that Bellamy and Kat had been sleeping together for a couple of weeks and he hadn't been having sex with anyone else made Octavia nearly pass out in shock. But on the other hand, she knew that people down here were just trying to do what they could to survive and if this was how they were coping then Octavia couldn't really say anything.

Her mind, as it so often did these past few days, flashed back to Lincoln and the feel of his lips on hers. They had been soft, softer than she had imagined they would be, and they pressed gently but insistently against her own. She had been taken aback at first, but once the fact that he was kissing her had sunk in, she could only hold onto his arms as confusing feelings assaulted her. She barely knew him, he was a grounder, but she found herself sinking into the kiss. When he pulled away she was disappointed because, even now, she had wanted nothing more than to explore him more thoroughly.

She wondered where he was, if he had gotten back to his home okay. She wondered if other grounders had been looking for him and she wondered if Lincoln had told them the whole story. But most of all, she wondered if he was thinking about her as much as she was thinking about him.

Shaking her head at how ridiculous she was being, Octavia took her water canteen and headed towards their makeshift training area. Kat and Miller were nowhere to be found, so she assumed that they were already over there.

The "training area" was just a somewhat circular piece of land between a couple of trees located a good distance from the rest of the camp. When she got there, Octavia saw Kat standing by herself in the middle of the trees, her jacket and sword off to the side. She was stretching her bad shoulder, wincing slightly as she rotated it, her face completely serious, eyebrows drawn together

"Hey," Octavia greeted, placing her water down and shrugging her own jacket off. "What's wrong? Your smile's gone."

"There's no smiling during training," Kat snapped, then looked slightly apologetic when Octavia's eyes widened. "I know it's been a while, but come on, show me what you remember," she instructed, waving Octavia forward.

Octavia tried her best, she really did. But Kat seemed to know every move that she was going to make before she made it. If Octavia aimed a punch at her side, Kat either blocked it with her forearm or side stepped it. If Octavia aimed an uppercut to Kat's head, she would duck and land a blow to Octavia's unprotected side.

A snarl played on the corner of Octavia's lips, her frustration growing every time Kat's fists connected and hers didn't. Worse than all that, Octavia knew that Kat was holding back, concentrating more on keeping up a steady stream of instructions to correct everything Octavia was doing wrong. She was growing tired, sweat pouring down her face with multiple parts of her body throbbing painfully. Her movements grew jerky and uncoordinated and she grew annoyed and angry.

Her impulsiveness caused her to snap in a frustrated voice, "So I hear you're having sex with my brother."

As Octavia had been hoping it would, Kat froze in shock and alarm, and she was finally able to land a punch to Kat's stomach. Kat doubled over, her breath leaving her in a gasp. "Yes, finally!" Octavia cried, punching her fist in the air in triumph. "And you're the one who said not to let anything distract you."

Kat completely ignored that as she straightened up, her hand still on her stomach but her eyes wide with panic. "What did you say?" She croaked, her voice strained.

"You shouldn't let anything distract – "

"No before that!"

"Oh, that," Octavia sighed, twisting her sweaty hair up into a ponytail. "Yeah I know what's going on between the two of you."

"How?" Kat anguished, gripping the sides of her face. "We were careful, we took precautions. Have you been talking to Miller?"

"Miller?" Octavia repeated, doing a double take. "What does he have to do with this?"

"He walked in on us this morning," Kat told her, beginning to pace in her agitation.

"Oh," Octavia said, frowning slightly. Then her eyes widened dramatically, her expression worried. "OH!"

"Yeah," Kat said shortly. "He accused me of using him to make Blake jealous." Kat stopped pacing, looking at Octavia with a tortured expression. "He was so angry, O, you should have seen the way he looked at me. I'm almost positive he hates me."

Octavia sighed, leading Kat over to a large tree where they sat, their backs resting against it. "He doesn't hate you, Kat. He might think he does, now, but he doesn't. Miller's angry, sure. But he's also probably hurt." Octavia shook her head, looking ashamed. "I wouldn't have pushed you to go after Miller if I'd known you had the hots for my brother. Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, sounding slightly hurt.

"I wasn't about to tell anyone, I didn't want anyone to find out." Kat shifted so she was facing Octavia so she could try and explain her actions. "What your brother and I are doing…. Nobody would understand. They would read too far into it and start making up assumptions. It would put all sorts of pressure on something that was actually very simple. Your brother and I have sex. Period, end of story." Kat wiped a weary hand across her face, feeling the stress getting to her, and completely missing Octavia's slightly disgusted face. "Miller's going to tell everyone and I'm going to have to end it with Blake, and I just _can't._ I don't know what you've heard about your brother, but he is one talented man," she said dreamily, thinking back to this morning. "I mean, the things he can do with his fingers and tongue – "

"Oh my god, Kat, shut the fuck up!" Octavia shouted, as she clapped her hands over her ears in horror. Kat blinked and shut her mouth, not realizing what she had been saying. "Holy shit. I'm going to throw up. You know I'm never going to be able to un-hear that, right?"

"Me neither," said a disgusted male voice. "That was quite disturbing."

Both Kat and Octavia sprang to their feet, glancing around wildly as Kat drew her sword. That voice sounded familiar. When she didn't see anyone on the ground, she cast her eyes up into the trees and that was when she spotted him. Arian was standing on a thick branch, arms crossed as he casually leaned a shoulder against the trunk.

"What are you playing at?" Kat hissed at him, narrowing her eyes and lowering her sword. "You shouldn't be here, you're going to get caught!"

"Who are you – " Octavia broke off with a gasp when she saw who Kat was talking to. "Holy shit." Arian jumped off the branch, landing nimbly and somehow silently on the forest floor. He gave Kat a quick grin before turning to Octavia and examining her closely, even going so far as to circle her slowly. Octavia sent Kat a confused, wide-eyed glance before turning her attention back to the grounder. "What the fuck are you doing?" She asked him with a glare.

"Just trying to see what all of the commotion is about," Ari responded, finally stopping in front of her. "I wanted to meet the girl that would cause Lincoln to allow himself to get captured by a camp full of teenagers."

Despite herself, Octavia felt her eyes light up when she heard Lincoln's name. "You know Lincoln?" She asked, trying to reign in her excitement. "How is he? Is he alright? Did he get in trouble for being captured – "

"Well I can see the infatuation isn't one sided," Arian commented to Kat, raising his eyebrow. He turned back to Octavia. "Lincoln is fine. Still healing, so he sent me in his stead. He told me to give you this." He reached into one of his belt pockets and pulled out a beautiful white flower. Octavia took it carefully, holding it reverently in her hands, her cheeks warm and her heart pounding. "He says to tell you that every time he sees this flower it reminds him of you, and that it will always lead you back to him. Whatever that means," he muttered under his breath, looking extremely uncomfortable.

A small smile on her face, Octavia raised the flower to her nose and breathed deeply.

"How romantic," Kat said, wrinkling her nose.

Octavia ignored her. "Thank you," she said to the grounder. "I'm Octavia."

"Ari." His eyes kept flickering back to Kat and a pained expression crossed his face. "Are you trying to cut down a tree? Your grip is all wrong."

"What?" Kat asked, confused.

He gestured to the sword still in her hands and pulled out his own from over his shoulder. "If you are going to be using my father's sword, the least you could do is use it properly." Octavia drifted over to her previous seat, still holding the flower, and watched as Ari tried to teach the prickly Kat how to swordfight. There was a lot of bickering, swearing from Kat's end and eye rolling on Ari's end.

The whole thing was very amusing for Octavia to watch. There was something gratifying about watching Kat get her ass kicked this time. She watched Ari closely. He seemed more carefree than Lincoln, which may have been because he was younger. He smiled easily and was quick to tease, something that Octavia found rare down here on the ground. It might be good for Kat to have a friend like him around.

* * *

**Kat's POV**

Three days. That's how long she had successfully avoided Bellamy Blake for. And it was torture. She couldn't help but watch him afar. The way his shoulder rippled underneath his t-shirt when he was lifting something heavy. The glimpse of his abs that she got whenever he raised his arm to take a drink. His bicep muscles as he pointed and shouted directions to the delinquents that he was training on how to properly shoot a gun. But most importantly, the burn and need in his eyes whenever he looked at her from across the camp.

Kat waited anxiously that first day after Miller had found out, waiting for the judgmental looks and hurled accusations. She jumped every time someone spoke to her, every time a loud noise was made. The second day was somehow worse than the first. She kept herself busy by spending lots of time with Octavia and Arian as he taught them both how to fight with swords. But during those lonely nights when she wanted nothing more than to feel Blake's arms around her were the worst. She didn't sleep for three days.

She tried to come up with a speech that she would give to Blake once the camp found out. It was fun while it lasted sounded too callous. And she certainly didn't want to say anything too sappy or emotional. So in the end she decided a simple "It's over," would suffice.

Miller on the other hand, completely ignored her. Acted as if she didn't even exist. She didn't know which one was worse. The absolute hatred or the complete indifference.

She could almost _feel_ Blake losing his patience as the days passed. She suspected that the only reason he hadn't confronted her already was because of his pride. She knew however, that he wasn't going to wait much longer. And in the end, she was right.

* * *

**Bellamy's POV**

Bellamy had had enough. Kat had been avoiding him for days now, for some inexplicable reason that he couldn't seem to comprehend. He could feel her watch him from afar, a worried but determined expression on her face, but whenever he tried to come over to talk to her, she slipped away. It was extremely annoying and more than a little frustrating.

He tried to give her space that first day because it was obvious she was upset about Miller walking in on them. He had watched the little punk closely, but other than a slightly stiff attitude towards him, Miller didn't act much differently. It really was too bad that he had grown to trust Miller, to even think of him as his right hand man. He was loyal, he took orders well and the others respected him.

As much as Bellamy wanted to blame Miller for his current "situation," it was Kat who was avoiding him. He was tired, irritated, and horny beyond anything he could have imagined, but more importantly he just wanted to know _why_ she was avoiding him.

Which was why he was currently stalking through the deserted camp in the middle of the night in the direction of her tent. He brushed the tent flaps aside and stepped inside, making sure to tie them tightly behind him. "Blake? What the hell are you doing?" He heard Kat ask angrily from behind him.

He turned to see her sitting up in her makeshift bed, wearing nothing but her tank top, and from what he could tell, no bra. Plus her hair was wild and mussed, and her eyes sleepy and confused. He swallowed hard, inwardly telling his instant hard-on to calm the fuck down. "You've been avoiding me," he said flatly, pushing away images of him pushing her down and taking her right then and there. "Why?"

She looked away from him as she spoke. "I'm waiting for Miller to make his move. Plus, I know what you said to him about staying away from him and I'm kind of pissed! You had no right – "

Bellamy cut her off before she could get started on an angry rant, Octavia's words from earlier coming back to him. _'You always look away when you lie to me!'_ "You're lying," he declared, narrowing his eyes.

"What?" She gasped, mouth falling open. "I am not."

"Well then you're not telling me the whole reason. That's a pretty shitty excuse, Kat, and you know it. Just what did I do wrong?"

Kat, who had been glaring at him, softened slightly at his question. "Nothing," she sighed, looking tired. "Just give me a couple days, okay?"

"I gave you three," Bellamy said seriously. "Three of the longest days since we've been down here. I've had to take matters into my 'own hands', for lack of a better term." He smirked at look of intrigue that flashed across her face. "But seriously, I'm not leaving here until you tell me what's going on," he told her, crossing his arms to further demonstrate his point.

Kat huffed in annoyance, crossing her own arms in response. Bellamy pretended not to notice the way the movement made her breasts jiggle. "It's _that time,_" she said through clenched teeth, looking slightly embarrassed.

Bellamy on the other hand, was bewildered. This was not what he had been expecting. "That time?" he repeated. "What are you – "

"That time of the month," she clarified and when he still looked confused she rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in exasperation. _Eyes up, Bellamy._ "For fuck's sake, you thick-headed imbecile, I can't believe you're this dense. I have my period, you moron. You know, that time of the month when a woman bleeds out of her vagina – "

"Okay!" Bellamy interrupted hastily. "I get it, please stop. Why didn't you just tell me?"

Kat shrugged. "I don't know! I've never done anything like this before, I don't know the protocol." She sighed, looking up at him. "I haven't been sleeping well either, you know. Fuck you, for that, by the way. Fucking cuddler," she muttered under her breath. Well that settled it for Bellamy. Stepped around the bed, he toed off his boots, stripping off jacket and shirt. "What are you doing?" She asked, alarmed.

"Neither of us have been able to sleep, Kitten," he said, unzipping his pants and stepping out of them. "I promise I'll stay out of your pants, but I haven't slept in three days and I'm really fucking tired. Now scoot over, you're hogging the bed."

Kat reluctantly scooted over, flipping onto her side as he slipped into the bed. He gritted his teeth as his hand accidently brushed across her breast as he pulled her back to his front, though he kept his hips as far from hers as possible, not wanting her to feel the hard-on that hadn't abated at all since he first saw her. In fact, now that she was in his arms, it just made it worse. He wondered if she could feel how tense he was as he fought against the animalistic part of himself.

"Okay, this isn't going to work," Kat exclaimed loudly, pushing his hands away and sitting up. "It's been three days and all I can think about is your hands on my body. I want to fuck you and I can't and all we're doing is torturing ourselves. You should just go."

His need for her flared even higher at her admission. He could make this work. Sitting up with her, he brushed her hair to the side so he could access her neck. Her body tensed slightly at his touch, but she involuntarily tilted her head to the side when he began to press soft kisses up and down her neck. "Mmmm," Kat hummed, igniting a fire in Bellamy's veins. "We shouldn't…"

"Yes we should," Bellamy murmured, turning her face towards him with one hand and nipping her jaw. "There are other ways to get release, and believe me, we both need it," he said, tweaking one of her already hardened nipples through her tank top.

His hand massaged her breast for a moment before sliding down her side, over her hip, ghosting over her thigh to her knee, which he hitched up and over his own hips so she was straddling him. Her hands clutched his shoulders, fingernails digging in, her grey eyes dark with arousal and her mouth slightly open. Eyes locked on hers, Bellamy gripped her hips, pulling her down over his hard on so she was grinding against him.

Kat's breath caught on a moan, her eyelashes fluttering as she felt him through her underwear. Bellamy gritted his teeth as she took up the movement on her own, his hands holding on, no longer guiding her. "Oh fuck," she murmured, rocking back and forth on him. Her hands trailed up his neck, grabbing his hair between her fists. Her eyes flickered between both of his. "I've missed you," she breathed in that honest voice that always made his heart skip a beat. Before he could respond, she crashed her lips to his, devouring him, licking, nipping and sucking and all Bellamy could do was hold on.

Her kisses grew sloppier as she got closer, and Bellamy wanted more than anything to be inside her so he could feel her climax. Her movements intensified, moving in that perfectly maddeningly way and Bellamy moaned, white hot lust shot through him again, making his eyes roll back into his head, his fingers biting into her hips. It felt so damn good and he wished that something like this would be able to get him off.

Kat let out a sexy, raspy whine into his mouth, her fists pulling his hair almost painfully as she shuddered on top of him, her head falling back as her body twitched. Bellamy held her to him as she rode out the wave, lying back down so she was boneless on top of him. "Holy shit," Kat gasped breathlessly, a slight laugh in her voice. "I really, really needed that." She lifted herself on shaky arms to examine his face. She frowned, noting the fire still in his eyes. "You didn't…"

"Don't worry about it," Bellamy told her in a husky voice. He was so hard it was almost painful. "Just get some sleep, I'll take care of it myself."

She watched him thoughtfully, head tilted to the side. "Do you remember our first time doing this?"

"Vividly," Bellamy replied with a smirk. "I replay it often, especially when I'm alone."

She ignored that. "I was…touching you and you told me that I could play later." She sent him a sly grin, eyes twinkling. "Is it my turn to play now?"

"You don't have to, you know," Bellamy assured her, ignoring the twitch of his dick at her offer.

"Obviously," Kat shrugged. "But I want to."

"Then by all means," Bellamy said, voice trembling slightly in his excitement.

"Okay," Kat nodded, looking slightly nervous and uncertain now. "Just…just tell me if I'm doing something wrong."

"Hey," Bellamy frowned, reaching out and gripping her chin slightly to make her look at him. "It's just us, Kat, you and me. You have good instincts, just do what you feel is right. I can almost guarantee you that I will like anything you do." He tucked her hair behind her ear. "I trust you. Just relax."

She nodded again, shifting closer to give him a grateful kiss. When she tried to pull away, his hand came up to grasp the back of her head, holding her in place so he could deepen the kiss. She grinned against his mouth, moving to straddle him once more, taking his hands from her hips and threading their fingers together, placing them above his head. She gently bit his bottom lip and pulled away slowly before letting it go and leaning back slightly. "This is my turn to play," she murmured softly, obviously gaining confidence, giving him another deep kiss and making him moan. "I'm in control now, Blake. Say it."

"You're in control," he repeated in a breathless voice, so unbelievably turned on. "You can do anything you want to me, Kitten."

"That's right," she agreed, pressing a kiss to his jaw line. Each touch of her lips as she made her way down his neck and over his chest was like a hot brand on his body. It was the best kind of torture. She was taking her sweet time exploring his body, and he was learning things about himself that he never knew before. Like when her tongue flicked over his nipple, the pleasure shot straight down to his dick, making him gasp, his hips twitching. She moved down further, tracing each contour of his abs with her lips, her tongue swirling in his bellybutton, her fingernails lightly scratching down his chest and making him shudder.

Her fingers traced his hipbones, dipping inside his boxer shorts and pulling them down and off his legs, allowing him to spring free. She marveled again at his size, never having got a chance to truly admire it before – they were always too clouded by desire to slow things down. As she sat between his legs, she thought about what he had done to her this morning with his mouth and wondered if she could do the same thing to him. What would he taste like?

When Bellamy saw Kat looking at him like that, with such admiration and lust, when he saw her actually _lick_ her lips, he could have come right at that moment. "For fuck's sake, Kitten, if you keep looking at me like that I'm going to go out of my mind."

She grinned, peeking up at him with those twinkling grey eyes of hers and then finally, _finally_ she reached out to grasp him. He groaned low in his throat at the contact, which both relieved and increased his need. His eyes fluttered closed as she moved her hand up and down slowly, trying out different grips to find what he liked best. Since his eyes were closed he didn't see her lean down, but he sure as hell felt her tongue flick across the head. His eyes shot open with his surprised grunt, his hips involuntarily bucking.

He looked down, his chest heaving, to see that Kat had paused, her eyes wide with surprise at his reaction before a slow grin spread across her face. Keeping her eyes on his, she slowly lowered herself over him, taking him into her mouth once more. Bellamy's hands fisted in her blankets, another groan escaping him. He tensed as her teeth grazed him, and noticing his reaction she tucked them behind her lips.

He was so aroused, the sensations were almost too much for him. His chest was heaving up and down, but he pushed himself up on elbows so he could watch. Her eyes were no longer on him, she was completely engrossed on her task, and damn, Bellamy was right about her natural instincts. Her right hand held the base of his dick while her mouth worked him on top. After getting used to the feel of him in her mouth, she tried to take him deeper but gagged slightly and had to back off.

"Relax your throat muscles," Bellamy advised, panting, moving her hair out of her way so he could watch. She nodded and tried again, pausing when she reached her gag reflex and taking a deep breath, relaxed her throat and took him almost all the way. He was too big for her to take fully, but she moved her hand to make up for it. "Ah, god," Bellamy grunted, his eyes rolling back. "Fuck, Kitten."

It took her a couple of moments, but she developed an intoxicating rhythm, taking him as far as she could before pulling up, sucking slightly with her tongue swirling over his tip. Her hand moved in time with her mouth sometimes moving down to lightly cup and play with his balls.

His hands twitched, wanting to thread in her hair, but he didn't want to freak her out or disturb her rhythm, so they twisted a death grip on the blankets, his muscles straining. His hips quivered in an effort not to thrust into her mouth, his stomach clenching as the telltale tingle started at the base of his spine. "Kat," he warned, choking back another groan. "Kat, I'm – fuck – I'm gunna come. If you don't want to – ah.." She ignored him and just sucked harder, and he exploded with a shocked cry, his mouth falling open and his eyes clenched shut tightly against the flash of white-hot pleasure. His back arched as he shuddered through one of the most intense orgasms of his life.

He opened his eyes to see Kat swallow, her thumb reaching up to catch the small amount that escaped and putting it back into her mouth, and his jaw flopped open in wonder and amazement. She grinned at the look on his face, her own face was flushed and her eyes were bright. "That was fun," she said. "To make someone lose control like that? It's… intoxicating. Empowering."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Bellamy breathed, tingles still shooting through his body. "I know I certainly did."

"I'm glad I liked it too, we're going to have to do that more often," she promised, looking so pleased with herself that Bellamy let out a wheezy chuckle. "Except," a frown crossed her face and she shifted uncomfortably, her hand straying to the front of her underwear. "I'm kind of…." she trailed off as her fingers began to move and Bellamy watched with wide eyes as her gray eyes unfocused, her breath hitching and her body trembling as she made herself come within a couple seconds.

Breathing a relieved, tired sigh, Kat crawled up next to him, settling down with her head against his chest. It didn't escape Bellamy's notice that this was the first time she had been the one to initiate cuddling, but he was still trying to wrap his brain around everything that had just happened.

He had received numerous blowjobs before, but none of them even came slightly close to being as amazing as this one. Was it her innocence that made him want to lose his mind? He did find it sexy as hell on her, especially with her wide, gray eyes, but there was more to it than that. Was it her body? She didn't have the most perfect body ever, but he liked all her bits and pieces. _Maybe,_ a small voice said inside him. _Maybe it was so good because it was Kat giving it to you. Maybe it all has to do with her._ Too exhausted to think about it any further, Bellamy softly pressed his lips to Kat's forehead before resting his head on top of hers and falling into a deep, peaceful sleep.

* * *

**Author's Note: Alright, cue the awwwwww! How do you guys feel about the way Kat and Bellamy's relationship is progressing? **

**I'm so glad you guys agree with me about the whole sex thing, cause obviously it isn't going anywhere. They're wayyyy too fun to write!**

**On a side note, if any of you are fans of the TV show The Originals, I've just posted the first chapter to a new Elijah/OC story that I'm writing called "One Life to Live." Obviously this story is still my number one priority, but I'd really appreciate it if you guys would give it a read and let me know what you think! If you want to, of course ;)**

*****Also, a couple of you have mentioned a sequel to this story. Now I'm going to be completely honest here. Out of all of season 2, I've only watched the first episode. I know the general gist of what's going on, but so many ideas sparked in my mind for a sequel story just during that one episode that I couldn't watch the rest without feeling like I was doing an injustice to this story. I'm pretty sure I would love to write a sequel, so if I have enough people who are interested in reading one then the answer is ****yes****!**

**So leave a review and tell me what you thought of the chapter and if you would want me to write a sequel! Things are going to get pretty intense from here on out, so buckle your seat belts ladies and gentlemen (?). It's going to be a crazy ride.**


	17. Revelations

**Author's Note: Surpriseeee yay for a quick update! Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed my story! You're all amazing.**

**I'm going to say this one more time. This is the way I pictured my story in my head and this is going to be the way I write it. I'm sorry if you feel the sex doesn't further the story line or the character development, but I've actually had multiple reviewers mention how far Kat has come and all the strides she has made since the beginning. I believe that I have my reviewers and my readers because of Kat's personality and background, not because they want to see her 'sleep with their favorite character.' Maybe I do enjoy writing sex scenes. But I also believe that I have a plot and a point to my story that comes across first and foremost. If you disagree with me, feel free to PM me and we can discuss it further. This may be the first story I've ever written, but I'm kind of obsessed with reading so I like to think I know what makes a good story. Plus…. This one's mine and I can do what I want :)**

**Warning: This chapter is explicit…again. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 17: Revelations

Kat's hand reached out to grab hold of Octavia's arm, pulling her to an abrupt, surprised stop. "Where do you think you're going?" She asked, looking at the other girl with a raised eyebrow.

Octavia's eyes flickered guiltily. "Just – for a walk to clear my head. You know, get away from all…this." She gestured to the side and they both looked over to see the crowd standing around the video feed streaming from the Ark. Jaha was going on about how this time next year they would be celebrating Unity Day down on the ground.

"As much as I wouldn't blame you if that were the case, I'm calling bullshit," Kat told her with a serious face. "Don't think I didn't notice you slipping away every night for the past couple days, O, and I think I can guess where you're going, or rather who – "

"Will you keep your voice down?" Octavia hissed, frantically looking around her, her eyes wide as she pulled Kat farther away from listening ears. "You're going to get me in trouble."

"You've been sneaking out to see your Grounder boyfriend, in Grounder territory, and you think _I'm_ going to get you in trouble?" Kat asked in disbelief. "Octavia, when your brother finds out – "

"The only way he would find out is if you told him," Octavia said in a hard voice, searching Kat's face carefully. "Are you going to tell him, Kat?"

"Of course not," Kat said immediately. "He'd probably chain you to the drop ship and attempt to murder Lincoln." Octavia breathed out a small sigh of relief. Worry crossed Kat's face when she saw this. "Are you sure about this?" Kat asked in concern, her head tilted to the side. "Is he really worth all that you're risking?"

"Yes," Octavia whispered without hesitation. "I can't explain it, Kat, but when I'm with him…. We're not two people from different races on the brink of war. We're just Lincoln and Octavia, and the feelings are raw and real, and… overwhelming."

Kat's concern only grew at the wide-eyed look on her face, her eyes brimming with emotions. "Feelings lead to love," Kat warned softly, wanting to grab her friend by the shoulders and physically shake some sense into her. "Love is messy. Love is chaos. Love causes nothing but pain and death – "

Octavia shook her head. "I'm sorry about whatever you experienced in your life to make you think that way," she said with a sad look on her face. "But I've been the girl that lived under the floor my entire life. I want to experience _everything_ while I've got the chance. And I deserve that. I deserve that chance." Octavia pleadingly grabbed both Kat's hands. "Please let me go, Kat," she whispered.

"Okay," Kat whispered back, almost blinded by Octavia's answering smile.

Octavia pulled her into another one of her bone crushing hugs, but Kat wasn't caught off guard this time, and she wrapped her arms around her, privately hoping that someone would watch over Octavia and keep her safe. "You're the best, Kat," Octavia whispered gratefully. "Thank you!" With shining eyes and a secretive smile, Octavia quickly looked around before jogging to the gate and sneaking out.

Kat leaned back against the tree, staring after where Octavia had disappeared. She was extremely worried for her friend, and this was such a new experience for Kat, that she didn't know how to handle it.

"Hey." Kat turned to see Raven standing next to her, a gun slung over her shoulder. She paused in whatever she was going to say, looking closely at Kat. "You alright?"

Kat wiped the worried frown off her face, turning to look at Raven curiously. Besides the one conversation they had when Raven came down to the ground, Kat hadn't talked to her much. Part of the reason was because Kat was all too aware of the tension between Raven, Finn and Clarke. Although Kat didn't know the whole story, she caught the longing glances between Clarke and Finn, and the insecure look on Raven's face whenever she noticed.

"I'm fine," Kat answered, straightening, glancing at the gun. "What's up?"

"A bunch of us are going to training," Raven answered, pointing a thumb over her shoulder. Kat looked to see a group of people heading towards the back of camp where Blake was standing, waiting for them. Kat saw Clarke, Jasper and Monty in that group, but she also saw Miller.

"I don't know if that's a good…" Kat's voice trailed off as Blake chose that moment to look over at her. There was so much heat in that one look that it made a delicious shiver run down Kat's back. The corner of his mouth lifted up into a knowing smirk and Kat found an answering one spread across her own face. "Okay," Kat said, looking back at Raven. "Let's go learn how to shoot some guns."

Raven looked a little taken aback by her abrupt change of mind, but smiled quickly. "Great! I noticed that you weren't at the last couple of training sessions and figured everyone should know how to handle a gun. Get ready for the inevitable, you know?"

"The inevitable?" Kat asked with a frown, walking over and picking up a gun from the pile.

"Yeah, you know, when the Grounder that escaped comes back with a bunch of his buddies and tries to get revenge," Raven explained, with a "duh" sound in her voice.

"How do you know that's going to happen?" Kat asked, standing in line with everyone else.

"Because he's a Grounder," Raven retorted rolling her eyes. "They're savage and cruel." Raven lifted the gun to her eyesight and pulled off a couple shots.

The gun in Kat's hand hung loosely down to the ground, almost forgotten about. "They can't all be like that," Kat protested, an image of Ari springing up in her mind. "If we could just talk to them – "

"They don't speak English," Blake pointed out, coming up behind them.

Kat turned to glare at him. "You don't know that, Blake. The only grounder you encountered was the one you tortured. If I was in his place I wouldn't have spoken to you either."

"Why do you call him Blake?" Raven asked curiously, looking between the two of them.

"What?"

"She's right, you know," Blake said a dawning expression, turning to stare at Kat. "I don't think I can ever remember you calling me by my actual name."

Kat tilted her head to the side. "I can think of some other names for you, if you like. Moron. Jackass. Manwhore – "

"You think you're funny, don't you?" Blake asked, looking amused.

"Sometimes," Kat commented lightly. "Now are you going to teach me how to shoot this gun or should I just continue holding it like an idiot?"

Raven went back to her shooting as Blake stepped up next to her, close enough that she could feel the heat radiating off his body. "Your hips are facing the wrong way," he said quietly, putting his hands on them and shifting them to the correct position. Her eyes flickered up to his as his thumbs discreetly slipped under her shirt and brushed against the small of her back. "Eyes forward," he commanded, raising an eyebrow down at her.

"I thought my eyes were supposed to be on you," Kat breathed under her breath but did as she was told.

His fingers tightened for a moment as he chuckled. "Tease," he breathed back. Raising his voice a little, he said, "Show me how you would hold the gun. Good. Now line up your sight." Blake's hands were gentle on Kat's body as he shifted her slightly, but they burned like a brand and stole her breath. "Shoot," he breathed into her ear and Kat pulled the trigger. "Not bad, Katerina," he praised, grinning at her before moving on.

"Wow," Raven exclaimed in a hushed voice, her eyes following him as he walked away before looking back at Kat.

"What?" Kat asked with a look of confusion.

"The sexual tension between you two is insane. It's palpable in the air like," Raven opened and closed her mouth a few times, gesturing to it with wide eyes. "I think I can taste it a little bit."

"Oh shut up," Kat snorted, pushing her to the side. "I think you're confusing it with your own sexual attraction. He is pretty damn good looking isn't he?"

"Yes," Raven agreed in a low voice as they both turned to watch him help Monroe. "Yes he is."

* * *

**Octavia's POV**

Octavia smiled up at Lincoln, threading her arms around his waist and enjoying the after effects still running through her body from their recent…. activities. "When am I going to see you again?" She asked quietly.

Lincoln looked down at her with that expression on his face that made her lose her breath. "As soon as possible," he whispered, brushing her hair away from her face before lowering his head and capturing her lips with his. Like it always did, Octavia forgot everything else when she was kissing him, and was only concentrating on raising herself up on her tip-toes to reach him better when he was pulling away, pushing her behind him and raising a knife that had appeared out of nowhere.

"Finn?" Octavia cried in disbelief, noticing him over Lincoln's shoulder. Lincoln moved towards him, but Octavia grabbed his arm. "Lincoln, wait! Wait! He's my friend."

Finn look frightened but determined as he slowly held up a knife in his hand. "I think you lost this," Finn said breathlessly.

"Get inside," Lincoln growled, his eyes darting between the trees. "Quickly."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Octavia hissed, following him back down into Lincoln's home.

"I could ask you the same thing," Finn shot back. "I could also ask how long you've known he speaks English." Octavia hesitated, looking away. "But I won't." Finn walked around his home, taking it all in before picking up a hunting horn. "You blew this when your people were hunting us," He said, looking at Lincoln. You saved our lives. I have to believe there's more like you."

Lincoln looked at Finn closely. "I stabbed you – "

"And we tortured you! If the two of us can get along, then maybe there's hope. Learn from history instead of repeating it right?"

"And how's that gunna happen?" Octavia asked.

"For starters, no more killing," Finn said, looking between the two of them.

"I don't have the power to call a truce," Lincoln told him.

"Then bring me to someone who does." Lincoln gave Octavia a disbelieving look and Finn spoke up again. "Hey look. The rest of our people are coming down here. The first ship lands in two days."

Lincoln looked down at Octavia for confirmation and she nodded, feeling worried. "It's true."

"And because of the attacks, they're sending mostly soldiers, the people that enforce our laws. The Ark is about survival at any cost. They'll _kill_ people who fall out of line," Finn said urgently, trying to make him understand. "When those people get down here, if they feel threatened they will start a war. And I don't want that. Neither do you. I think that's why you blew that horn. Once the soldiers get here it will be too late and we'll have no power to stop them." Finn took a deep breath. "But if they see that we're at peace… then maybe we'll have the chance to stay that way. "

The enormity of what Finn was saying crashed into Octavia, making her feel breathless. She tried to picture a war between the two races and couldn't. It was just too horrible.

"Alright," Lincoln said after a moment. "You bring your leader, I'll bring mine."

"What, Bellamy?" Octavia snorted humorlessly. "He'll never go for this."

"No," Lincoln said, his eyes still on Finn. "Not your brother."

Realization dawned on Finn. "Clarke."

"That could work," Octavia nodded.

"We'll meet by the bridge to the south," Lincoln told Finn as he made to leave once more. "Do you know the one?" Finn nodded.

"Hey," Octavia called, coming to a quick decision. "Bring Kat too."

"Kat?" Finn repeated in confusion. "Why?"

"Because she's on our side. She doesn't want any more killings, either. Plus, she helped Lincoln escape and she knows I've been sneaking out to see him. She'll be able to help us, just in case things go bad."

Finn nodded and disappeared out the door. Octavia turned to Lincoln with a worried expression. "I really, really hope this works."

* * *

**Kat's POV**

"Unity Day!" A bunch of drunk teenagers cheered, gathering in a circle and raising mismatching, crude, handmade cups.

"Here." Kat looked up to see Clarke standing next to her, holding out one of the cups in her hand.

"What's this?" Kat asked, taking the cup from her and looking down into it.

"Monty's moonshine." Kat's eyebrows shot up in surprise and Clarke rolled her eyes at the look. "Bellamy says I deserve some fun," she explained, sitting down on the log next to Kat. "And for once, I agree with him. But I need some company."

Kat grinned, holding up her cup and clinking it against Clarke's. She raised it to her lips and took a gulp, coughing after she swallowed. "Oh my god," she gasped, screwing up her face. "Holy shit, that's disgusting."

Clarke was making a similar face before quickly taking another sip. "It's some seriously potent stuff," she agreed. "They say it goes down easier when you drink more."

"I guess we'll find out," Kat grinned, before taking another gulp. She saw Clarke's smile fade and turned to see what she was looking at. Raven was walking by, and had slowed slightly when she caught sight of Clarke. There was a calculating, suspicious and slightly judgmental look on her face as they made eye contact. Raven sped up again, walking past the celebrating teenagers and ducking into her tent.

"What was that all about?" Kat asked in a low voice.

Clarke put on a determined face and downed the rest of her drink. "She knows," Clarke said with a dark look. "She found out that I slept with Finn." Kat blinked in shock at this news. "So now I'm the dirty mistress, except it's not fair because I didn't know she existed! He never mentioned her! But I also can't blame him because he wasn't sure we would live, he wasn't sure we would ever see anyone from the Ark. So yeah, I get it."

"Clarke," Kat tried to say, but Clarke cut her off, standing up.

"Sorry, we're supposed to be having fun," Clarke smiled, waving a hand. "I'm going to get another drink."

Kat watched her walk away, feeling bad for her friend. She contemplated her drink, thinking back to her words to Octavia from earlier. _Feelings are messy. Love is pain._ She was infinitely glad that she didn't have any of those problems. When she finished her drink, there was a pleasantly warm, tingling feeling spreading through her body. She felt light and carefree and she wandered around the camp, watching the happy teenagers being stupid and drunk with a smile on her face.

She forgot about the grounders. She forgot about the potential danger they were all in and just let herself be happy. Clarke was playing a drinking game and laughing, of all things, so almost everyone was having a good time. Everyone except one person.

Giggling to herself, Kat snuck around the row of tents to where Blake was standing guard along the outside of the camp, leaning against a tree and watching the rowdy teenagers with humor on his face. "Are you having fun?" Kat breathed into his ear, grinning as she saw goose bumps break out over his neck.

"A blast," Blake replied sarcastically, turning to face Kat. His eyes traced over her slightly glazed look and flushed cheeks and a slow smile spread across his face. "But apparently not as much fun as you're having."

Kat sighed, leaning her head against the tree and looking up at him. "I am having fun," she nodded, eyes twinkling. "I was a little worried about the drinking because, you know, my father was drunk when he tried to kill me – " she missed the dark look that passed across Blake's face at the mention of this. "But I feel all tingly and free and…" she trailed off, looking up at him with a pout. She lifted a hand and traced it across his face and down his chest. "You are very handsome," she said in a conspiratorial whisper.

Bellamy's smiled widened. "I think I might like this side of you," he chuckled, raising a suggestive eyebrow.

Kat rolled her eyes, reaching out to grab Blake's belt loops and pull him flush against her. "Do you want to keep talking? Because I was thinking we might make out for a little. I know you're on guard duty, so we won't have time to have sex – with the way I'm feeling we would need a _lot_ of time – but maybe when your shift is over…."

Blake's eyes got that glint in them and Kat knew she had him. He swung the gun over his shoulder, reaching out with both hands and cupping her face. "Oh, Kitten. If you keep talking like that I'm going to have to break my own rules and leave my shift early just to have my way with you."

"Is that a threat or a challenge?" Kat taunted, spinning him around and pinning him against the tree. "We have a thing for trees, don't we?" She mused, distracted slightly. "Do you remember the first time you fucked me up against a tree – "

She was cut off as Blake crashed his lips against hers, holding her head in place as he devoured her. His lips moved urgently and Kat grinned against his mouth. He nipped her lip in response, making her gasp and arch into him. Her fingers slipped under his shirt, trailing her nails lightly down his back and making him groan and shudder.

"Oh my god." Kat jumped and spun around to see Finn standing there with an astonished, slightly embarrassed expression on his face. "You – and him - ?"

"Finn," Kat tried to say, smoothing her hair down and sobering up quicker than she thought possible. "We were just – "

"Kissing," Finn finished impatiently. "I don't really care, right now. I need to talk to you, it's urgent."

"Okay," Kat frowned, looking at Blake for a split second to see him watching her intently. "Sure," she nodded, following him as he walked away. "Listen, about what you saw – "

"I won't say anything," Finn promised. "I'm good at keeping secrets," he muttered under his breath. Kat nodded, frowning, not sure if she should believe him. Thankfully, he seemed pretty preoccupied so she put her fear aside for the moment and tried to figure out what he needed to talk to her about. Like Raven, Kat hadn't had much interaction with Finn. Why was everybody trying to talk to her today?

They walked up to Clarke who was playing a game with two other delinquents. She was trying to balance something silver on her nose, and Kat couldn't figure out what kind of drinking game she was trying to play. She caught sight of them as they walked up to her, searching both of their faces and seeing their serious expressions. "What?" She asked warily.

"Let's take a walk," Finn suggested and Clarke nodded, making a questioning face to Kat as they followed him, but Kat could only shrug.

"Finn – "

"I need you guys to come with me, but I can't tell you why, okay?"

"Finn, tell me why," Clarke demanded. Finn looked nervously to the people standing closest to them and tried to put a hand on Clarke's back to steer her away. "Hey, don't," Clarke said immediately, shrugging him off.

Finn gave her an exasperated look but pulled his hand back. "I set up a meeting with the grounders."

Kat, who was not expecting anything like that to come out of his mouth, wiggled a finger in her ear to clear it, wondering if she was still drunk. Clarke's jaw dropped. "A meeting," she hissed in disbelief. "I don't understand, with who, how – "

"I was just with the grounder we had in the drop ship, his name is Lincoln." Kat fidgeted, realization dawning on her as she fought the urge to flee. Finn must have followed Octavia earlier when she snuck out to meet him.

"Wait a second. He _spoke _to you – "

"That's not important," he said impatiently. "If we want to live in peace – "

"Finn, we can't live in peace when those people have done nothing but kill us – "

"Can you think of any other way to stop the bloodshed?"

"Yeah," Clarke said with her eyebrows raised. "With the guns that the guards bring down."

Kat frowned as she looked at Clarke, taken aback by what seemed like a complete about face in her attitude towards weaponry. "And what happens when they fight back?" Kat asked, crossing her arms as she spoke up for the first time. "You're right, we'll probably win, but how many of us are going to die in the process? 5? 10? 40?"

"Kat's right," Finn said quickly. "Do you really want a war?" Clarke looked down, hesitating. "Look, I know it's a long shot. But this is our world now. I think we can do better than this. I trust him, Clarke."

"I don't," Clarke answered, shaking her head.

"It's worth a shot, Clarke," Kat urged quietly, feeling like she was interrupting whatever tension filled moment was going on between them. "If it could possibly save lives, then why wouldn't you?"

"If we do this," Clarke said slowly, looking at them both. "Then we need to bring backup."

"No way, we're not bringing guns. Those weren't the terms! And besides, we've got to give it a fair shot."

Clarke gnawed on her bottom lip, thinking it through. "Okay," she finally said. "I'll get my pack and I'll meet you at the gate." Both Finn and Kat let out audible sighs of relief.

Kat waited until Clarke was out of earshot before turned to Finn and punching him hard on the arm. "Ow, what the – "

"I can't believe you followed Octavia when she was going to meet Lincoln," Kat hissed, glaring at him.

He rubbed his shoulder, narrowing his own eyes at her. "And I can't believe you've known Octavia was sneaking out for this long and didn't say anything to anyone!"

They bickered all the way to the front gate, both of them stopping only when Clarke showed up, her pack slung over her shoulder and a reluctant expression on her face. They headed off into the darkness and ended up walking in silence for most of the night. Kat watched Finn closely for any sign that he was going to mention what he saw between her and Blake. She didn't know what she would do if he did. Knocking him out seemed like the best option, though it was slightly suspicious.

Kat lamented the fact that her and Blake were interrupted, but part of her was hopeful for this meeting. If they could negotiate a deal… there would be no more fear and panic. They could co-exist together.

She could tell Clarke wasn't too keen on the whole idea. She mentioned a possible trap, but Finn just said that he thought of that too. There was one awkward moment when Clarke had to check Finn's wound because he seemed to be in pain. Kat raised her eyebrows and averted her eyes, feeling like she was intruding on a private moment. It was smooth sailing after that as they walked in mostly silence.

It was early morning by the time they reached the bridge where the meeting was taking place, and it was turning out to be a gross, cloudy day. "Octavia!" Kat said with relief when they saw her pacing the bridge. She looked nervous and stressed, but she was otherwise unhurt.

"So that's how you set this up," Clarke sighed. "You helped him escape, didn't you?" Kat rolled her eyes at the judgment in her tone. Unfortunately, some things never change.

Octavia took the small blow. "I trust him, Clarke."

"There's a lot of that going around," Clarke muttered sarcastically.

"Stow the attitude, Blondie, and think about what you're going to say," Kat advised under her breath.

"Someone's coming!" Finn said urgently, looking towards the other side of the bridge. They all turned to see Lincoln jogging towards them, looking so much better than the last time Kat had seen him. Octavia ran towards him, a smile on her face, and Kat heard Clarke's small gasp as he picked Octavia up into a tight hug. Anyone watching the two of them would be able to see the intense emotions between them.

"You don't look surprised," Clarke murmured to Kat.

"That's because I'm not," Kat said lightly, not looking towards the other girl. Lincoln finally put Octavia down, looking over her at the rest of them. Clarke tensed and slowly began backing away, only stopping when Finn reached out to grab her hand. "What's that sound?" Kat frowned, looking around.

"Oh my god," Clarke breathed, a disbelieving smile crossing her face. "Horses."

Kat's own jaw dropped as three beautiful horses trotted into view. Her eyes trailed up the horses to their riders. The front two were in full grounder garb, complete with weapons and a terrifying mask. The third horse, Kat was surprised to see, was carrying a woman. A scary, intimidating woman, sure, but a woman all the same. Kat couldn't help but be impressed.

"We said no weapons!" Finn hissed angrily. Kat followed them cautiously as they ran up to Lincoln, wishing more than anything that she had her sword with her.

"I was told there wouldn't be," Lincoln answered in a low, angry voice.

"It's too late now," Kat whispered.

Still holding hands, Finn and Clarke tried to walk forward but Lincoln put a hand on Finn's chest, stopping him. "She goes alone."

Clarke looked at their worried faces and smiled reassuringly. "I'll be fine."

Kat's hands clenched into fists as she watched a defenseless Clarke walk up to the grounder leader who looked like she could snap Clarke in half. Tense, Kat considered her options. If she needed to, could she get to Clarke in time to protect her? She did have the switchblade in her boot, but what about the two guards? Kat looked over them closely, sizing them up. One of them definitely looked older than the other; he was bald under the mask and was fingering the knife at his side lovingly. The other had a slighter build, with hair braided down the middle of his head.

It almost felt like he was looking back at her… he tilted his head slightly to the side and Kat bit back a loud gasp, her eyes widening. It was Arian. Ari was the grounder leaders' guard.

* * *

**Bellamy's POV**

Bellamy's heart was pounding a frantic, rapid rhythm in his chest. Kat was trying to kill him. That would be the only possible reason that she was up there right now, with dangerous grounders feet away from her. His jaw clenched as he fought the insane urge to run up there and throw her over his shoulder, personally making sure that she was escorted away from danger.

"Grounder princess looks pissed," Raven commented. Jasper shifted uneasily, his eyes darting all over the place.

"Our princess has that effect," Bellamy responded, forcing himself to focus on the task at hand, forcing himself to keep an eye on Clarke and not on the girl he would rather be worrying about.

"Oh no," Jasper muttered, looking through his eyepiece. "Oh no, this is bad."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bellamy muttered angrily, looking over at him. His skin was pale, his face slack with a wide-eyed horror.

"There's grounders in the trees," he gasped, looking through the gun's eyepiece.

"What?" Raven snapped.

"I don't see anything," Bellamy said quickly, looking up above the bridge.

"They're gonna shoot!" Jasper cried, leaping forward. "Run! Clarke run!"

Chaos erupted as he raised the gun and started shooting. Bellamy frantically tried to assess the situation, even as he noticed grounders begin to fall down from the trees. Shit. Jasper was right. Bellamy saw the grounder leader reach into a pocket of her sleeve and pull out a knife, but before she could stab Clarke, Bellamy pulled the trigger and shot her in the arm.

She spun away, clutching her arm as arrows shot out of the trees, aiming for his people on the bridge. Bellamy couldn't breathe. Finn was running towards Clarke, shouting, skidding to a halt besides her and helping her run away. One of the horses rode towards the group and Bellamy narrowed his eyes, pulling the trigger. At that moment, however, the horse reared and the bullet aiming for the grounder hit the horse instead. Kat looked over and saw him, saw him raise the gun again and prepare to shoot.

"No!" Bellamy heard Kat shout and he watched with horror as Kat sprinted _towards_ the grounder as he struggled to stand up. She tackled him to the ground, the bullet whizzing harmlessly over their heads.

"No! What the fuck are you doing, Kat?" He roared angrily. "Run!"

"Let's go, Bellamy," Raven cried, grabbing his arm and pulling him after her. With a snarl, Bellamy wrenched his arms away from her but ran after her, thinking only of Kat. Kat in danger. Kat possibly injured. He struggled to take a breath, anger, fear and desperation pushing him to run faster.

* * *

**Kat's POV**

"Did you just save my life, Sky Girl?" Ari asked breathlessly from where Kat still lay on top of him.

"Stop talking you idiot," Kat muttering, rolling off him and helping him to his feet where they crouched, dodging arrows.

"Look out!" Ari hissed, pulling her to the side as the other grounder on the horse shot his last arrow before turning and riding away. The arrow sailed over them and they watched with terror as Lincoln stepped in front of Octavia and took the arrow in the chest.

"Lincoln!" Octavia cried. "Oh my god, you've been hit!"

"I'm fine," Lincoln grunted, pulling the arrow out with a pained expression. "Take her," he said to Kat, with an earnest expression on his face. Kat nodded, grabbing Octavia's hand. "Take her and run, don't stop until you're behind your walls!" He urged.

"No!" Octavia cried, struggling against Kat. "Lincoln!"

"I've got him Octavia," Ari promised, lifting Lincoln's arm around his shoulders. "I'll look after him. I promised."

"Go!" Lincoln shouted.

"Come on, Kat!" Clarke yelled from the entrance to the forest. Gritting her teeth, Kat pulled Octavia along after her, adrenaline pumping through her as she followed her friends. They met up with Raven, Jasper and Blake, but there were no words to be said. Both her and Blake exchanged a loaded, just-wait-till-I-get-my-hands-on-you glare, but they both realized that what they wanted to say couldn't be said in front of present company.

They ran the entire way back to camp, cutting this morning's walk down by half. They were all breathing harshly by the time they made it back to the gates and for a moment none of them could speak as they tried to gulp down air.

"You got something to say?" Blake asked aggressively, glaring at Finn.

"Yeah," he retorted angrily, his eyes flickering to Clarke. "I told you no guns!"

"And I told you we couldn't trust the grounders and I was _right_ – "

"Why didn't you tell me what we were up to?" Raven yelled at Finn, sounding hurt.

"I tried, but you were too busy making bullets for your guns – "

"And it's a good thing she brought that! They came there to kill you, Finn – "

"You don't know that!" Finn exploded. "Jasper fired the first shot!"

"You ruined everything," Octavia said to Jasper, her voice wavering as she shook her head, turning on her heel and disappearing inside camp.

"I saved you!" Jasper corrected loudly. "You're welcome," he muttered under his breath, slowly following her inside.

"Well if we weren't at war, we sure as hell are now," Finn snapped in frustration. "You didn't have to trust the grounders," he told Clarke, looking drained. "You just had to trust me." Finn and Raven went inside and it was just the three of them.

"How did this happen?" Kat moaned, running a hand over her face. "We were this close to being at peace – "

"They were armed, Kat. They didn't come to make peace – "

"We were armed too, apparently," Kat snapped, throwing a glare at Clarke. "We killed a number of

their people, they're not just going to forget that – "

"Speaking of their people, who was that guy?" Clarke asked, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

"An excellent question," Blake chimed in, raising an eyebrow at her. "You put yourself in danger for a grounder – "

"You were going to kill him!" Kat interrupted.

"So? Their people were shooting arrows at you! Who cares about – "

"I care!" She yelled, getting in his face. "I care because he's a friend… kind of."

"What?" Clarke asked dangerously. "Are you sleeping with this grounder like Octavia – "

Blake looked like he was about to be sick, his eyes bulging out of his head, and his lips twisted in disgust. "No!" Kat cried hurriedly, talking quickly in her attempt to explain. "He's a friend of Lincoln's, I met him the night that you guys went on that day trip. It turns out that he's the son of the grounder that I killed, but he's not too upset about it, kind of happy actually, and he's kind of been teaching me how to fight with that sword. We both don't want any more fighting between our two races, and I didn't know he was going to be there today." Kat looked imploringly at them both. "Not all of them are trying to kill us."

Clarke shook her head in disbelief, and Bellamy ran a hand through his hair. "Best Unity Day ever," he commented sarcastically. Kat snorted in tired amusement.

At that moment a loud noise made all of them look up to see something ejecting from the Ark. "Is that…?" Kat trailed off, watching the bright light move across the sky.

"The exodus ship?" Blake questioned. "Your mom's early."

The smile that had originally crossed Clarke's face faded, fear taking its place. "Wait. Too fast," she breathed. "No parachute? Something's wrong." They watched in mute horror, Kat's hand coming up to cover her mouth as the ship rocketed to the ground, crashing with a loud, visible explosion. "No," Clarke gasped, stumbling forward a couple of steps before collapsing to her knees.

Kat and Blake exchanged panic-stricken looks, neither of them sure what to do. Taking a deep breath, Kat hesitantly walked up to Clarke and put a shaking hand on her shoulder, sorrow for her friend weighing her down. "Clarke," she whispered.

Clarke staggered to her feet, brushing off Kat's hand and refusing to look at either of them. "I need to be alone," she muttered, before hurrying off.

Kat watched her go, feeling uncertain. "Maybe I should go be with her - "

Blake grabbed her wrist, stopping her. "She said she wanted to be alone."

"But if her mom was on that ship there's no way that she could have survived – "

"Kat," Blake said gently, coaxing her to look up at him. He smoothed her worried lines with his finger, fondly tugging a strand of her hair. "Clarke wants to be alone for a while, you can check on her later. Half the camp probably saw the explosion, I'm going to make a round and let everyone know that we're not going to search the wreckage until morning. Go to my tent. I'll be there in five minutes. We have a few things we need to talk about."

Kat nodded slowly, knowing that she had a few things that needed explaining. She shoved her hands in her pockets and meandered over to his tent, checking to make sure that no one was looking before ducking inside. She wearily rubbed her eyes, stifling a yawn as she toed off her boots and shrugged off her jacket and pants before collapsing down onto his bed and pulling up his blankets.

Almost immediately she was enveloped by his warm, masculine scent and she breathed deep, surprised to find that it was incredibly comforting. Her tense muscles relaxed, the adrenaline and anxiety from a few hours ago seeping out of her. She blinked blearily as Blake stepped inside his tent.

He froze when he saw her, his eyes flickering with an emotion Kat couldn't quite read. "It's been a long, crazy day," he said quietly, taking off his jacket and boots. "But coming back here, seeing you lying in my bed, looking incredibly sexy and inviting almost makes it all worth it."

"How is tired sexy?" Kat mumbled in confusion, watching him with keen eyes as he took his pants off and slipped into bed beside her.

He lay on his side facing her, leaning on one elbow, his head in his hand. "I think anything on you is sexy."

She rolled on her side to face him too. "Are you mad at me?"

Blake sighed. "Yes. You put yourself in danger today and for a second I thought you were going to die. All to help some grounder – "

"To help a friend – "

"A _grounder_," Blake insisted. "They're dangerous and unpredictable! I really don't want you having secret, private meetings with this guy anymore – "

A slow grin spread across her face, her eyes dancing from his uncertain expression to his disapproving frown. "Why Blake," she said softly. "Are you jealous?"

* * *

**Bellamy's POV**

"Jealous?" Bellamy repeated, rolling over so he was on top of her. "I do not get jealous."

"Well that's good," Kat said with a small smile, opening her legs so he could settle between them. "Because there's nothing to be jealous about, Arian and I are barely even friends. You are the only one I'm having sex with. Although it is too bad. You're kind of hot when you're jealous, Blake."

"I'm hot all the time," Blake corrected, being his typical, over confident self. "But I can pretend to be jealous if you want," he whispered sensually in her ear, threading their fingers together and pinning them above her head, his lips hovering above hers. "By making you come so many times that the only name you remember is mine."

Kat shivered in delight, her eyes alight with interest. "I think I can get on board with that," she whispered drily.

"Good," he grinned, slowly lowering his head, their lips almost touching. "Now all you have to do is say my name."

She inwardly rolled her eyes. "Blake."

"Mmmm," he made a noise of disapproval, moving his lips away from hers, nudging her head to the side to get at her neck. He pressed soft, butterfly kisses along her jaw line, sucking lightly on her pulse point and grinning slightly as Kat's breath caught, her chest arching into his. "That's not quite right."

"It's your name, isn't it?" Kat asked breathlessly, trying not to moan as his lips trailed down to dip into her collarbone.

"Not the one that I want you to use," he breathed. He pulled her upright, helping her out of her shirt and bra before laying her back down again. He resumed his light trail of kisses from her neck to her chest, kissing all around it except for where she wanted him to. He blew lightly on her nipple, making her gasp and her hands thread through his hair. He paused, inwardly smirking at her disgruntled noise of irritation and pulled back. "Why does it bother you so much?"

Kat forced herself to focus on what he was saying and not the small tingles of pleasure running through her body. "It just seems too…. Intimate."

Bellamy frowned, trying to work that out in his head. "My mouth was just on your boob and you think saying my name is too intimate?"

"Yes, _Blake_, it is," Kat replied heavily, raising her eyebrow. "I'm damaged and broken, remember? You can't _make_ me – "

She stopped talking at the slow, devious smirk that spread across his face, his eyes alight with anticipation. "Oh Kitten," he purred, feeling her heart beginning to race as she realized her mistake. "You really shouldn't have said that."

Before she could respond, his mouth descended on the nipple that he had previously abandoned, ignoring her gasp of surprise and pleasure. His tongue swirled around it, his teeth gently biting while his other hand massaged the other breast. He kissed his way across to give the other breast some attention, listening to her murmurs and sighs. Her hips began to involuntarily thrust as the fiery energy built up inside her.

Bellamy stifled a groan as her hips rolled against his, and he moved down her body, kissing across her stomach till he got to her underwear, which he pulled off and tossed over his shoulder. Teasing her some more, he kissed up one thigh, then moving to the other.

"Blake," she pleaded, looking down at him, her face flushed and her eyes wild. Pure need shot through him at the sight, and he had to take a breath to calm himself down.

"Say it," he choked, sliding two fingers inside her more and watching her mouth drop open, her eyelids flickering. "Say my name." She tried to speak but couldn't as he set a slow, steady pace, enough for her to feel the pleasurable zings through her body, but not enough to send her over the edge. A bead of sweat ran down the back of his neck as he struggled to suppress the animal instinct to thrust into her. _Just say it so we can both get what we want,_ he pleaded.

Kat raised herself up onto her elbows, her chest heaving. She was so ready to come, her body trembling on the edge. They made eye contact for a long, heart-stopping moment. "Bellamy," Kat whispered, and the answering jolt of pleasure throughout Bellamy's body was so intense he thought he was going to embarrass himself right then and there.

He rewarded her immediately, curling his fingers inside her and lowering his face to suck hard. Kat threw her head back, her entire body tensing as one hand twisted in his sheets, the other coming up to stifle her loud cry. She was breathless for a moment, frozen, then her back bowed off the bed, her hips rising as she came with a stifled scream.

He guided her through her orgasm, only pulling his fingers out when she collapsed back on the bed, her body trembling. He wiped his mouth, and crawled back up her body, looking down at her. "Say it again," he whispered softly.

"Bellamy," she groaned, reaching up to thread her fingers in his hair and pull his face down to hers. Her lips moved urgently with his, and even though he wanted nothing more than to experience that feeling that was waiting for him, he also, for some reason, wanted to take it slow, to savor this moment with her. He took control of the pace, opening her mouth and exploring with his lips and tongue, their kisses slow and sensual, the burn within him developing at a much slower, more intense rate.

Her hands slipped under his shirt and he paused to pull it off before coming back to kiss her once more. He enjoyed the feeling of her hands exploring his chest muscles, and it only spurred his need further. When her hands reached inside his boxers to grip him, he froze, a guttural groan escaping him, shocked by how close he was. "Bellamy," she breathed in his ear again, pulling back to watch his expression, grinning at the affect it had on him.

"Katerina," he choked, removing her hand and his boxers in record time, spreading her legs and sinking inside her, his eyes fluttering shut as a sigh of blissful pleasure escaped him. She was tight already, so tight.

"Yes," Kat groaned, her nails digging into the small of his back. "Faster," she pleaded.

"Stop rushing this," Bellamy grunted in a strained voice, brushing her hair back from her face, his hips thrusting slowly. He cut off her protest with his lips, keeping them occupied while his other hand snaked between their bodies, his thumb getting to work once more. She groaned into his mouth, her hips thrusting in time with his. Bellamy tried to concentrate on disgusting and non-arousing things as her sheath tightened around him almost painfully. "Katerina," he murmured against her lips as she came again, swallowing her cry and holding her close to him as she shook and trembled.

His hips stilled, not wanting her to become oversensitive, and he clenched his jaw as he held back his own release. She blinked up at him, a slow, disbelieving smile on her face. Her hands came up to frame his face, brushing his hair back and looking into his eyes. "That's two," she murmured on a slight laugh. "You are really good at this." She picked her head up and kissed him lightly, running her hands up and down his back. "Are you ready?"

"Always," Bellamy promised, snaking his arms under her and lifting her up so he was straddling his lap, face to face. He wanted to be as close to her as he possibly could. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her mouth to his as he guided her hips up and down, slowly, lifting her to the tip and plunging back down again. She took up the rhythm that he set and he delayed the inevitable for a little while longer by focusing on getting her to come once more. He slowly ran his hands up and down her sides, paying special attention to her breasts, pulling away from her mouth to settle on the most sensitive part of her neck, right above her pulse point.

He could feel her pulsing once more as their bodies moved together. He pulled back when he realized she was close, their faces inches from each other as they locked eyes. Sweat coated their bodies, as they moved fluidly against one another. Her mouth was parted, her cheeks red and her hair plastered to her face. He brushed her hair back again, one hand wrapping a hand around her hair and the other clutching her close to him. Her fingernails bit into his shoulders and he could feel her harsh breath against his lips. "Eyes, Katerina," he commanded breathlessly, feeling her begin to clench around him once more, her eyes widening and then unfocusing, his name spilling from her lips.

He froze deep inside her, a low, disbelieving groan wrenched out of his throat as he came in the most intense orgasm of his life. His teeth clenched as he shuddered, his hips jerking as the unbelievable pleasure exploded through him for an indeterminable amount of time before it faded into the occasional twitch and tingle.

"Holy fuck," Bellamy murmured, swaying weakly. They collapsed backwards, Bellamy holding himself up on his shaky elbows as he looked down at her once more. She was smiling up at him with warm, dreamy contentment, her gray eyes twinkling with happiness.

_Shit_, he thought in his dazed state. _I'm so in love with her._

* * *

**Author's Note: …. Oh man.** **Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Are you guys happy about this? I told you things are about to start getting really intense.**

**I don't really have much to say in this author's note except to thank everyone for supporting my story. Be sure to review and let me know what you thought about the chapter and how it made you feel!**

**Oh and also, two things that I can't believe I'm writing. So many emotions running through me right now! **

**1 – YES THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL. You guys convinced me :)**

** 2 – …. And there's only four chapters left in this story.**


	18. Too Much

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for your feedback on the last chapter! I appreciate everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed my story and I absolutely LOVED reading your responses to Bellamy's revelation. **

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Buckle your seat belts :)**

* * *

Chapter 18: Too Much

Kat woke up cold the next morning, rolling over and reaching across the bed and discovering what her tired brain already knew. She blearily opened her eyes to see for the first time that she could ever remember Bellamy was up and gone before she was. Disgruntled and shivering slightly without his body heat, Kat quickly reached for her layers of clothes and slipped them on. She stuffed her feet into her boots, threw her tangled hair up into a ponytail and left the tent after making sure that no one was around.

Her eyes quickly scanned the flurry of activity going on around the drop ship and found Bellamy in the center of it all, pointing and shouting directions to the teenagers hurrying to follow his orders. Miller was standing next to him, a gun slung across his back and his arms crossed.

They both looked over as Kat walked up, but Kat was only looking at Bellamy and didn't see Miller's face contort into an angry grimace. A small smile had begun to cross Kat's face when she saw Bellamy, memories of last night flashing in her mind. It was a night of more firsts for Kat. The slow, almost savoring pace that Bellamy had set last night was something she had never experienced before. It was incredibly intimate but extremely powerful and caused a confusing flurry of emotions through her.

The most baffling part though, was Bellamy's reaction. Afterwards, he had looked at her for one moment with such a tender expression full of warmth and disbelief that Kat didn't know what to make of it. The next moment though, his eyes had widened and a stricken look had briefly crossed his face before his expression shuttered. He had pulled Kat close and without another word had fallen asleep.

One thing was for sure though. After that night, Kat didn't know if she'd be able to ever call him Blake again.

Now, however, Kat's smile faltered and fell. Bellamy was looking at her with a cold, distant, almost blank expression on his face. She frowned at him, taken aback and a little hurt, but mostly confused. What had she done to cause this reaction?

"Hey." Kat broke eye contact with Bellamy and looked over to see Clarke leaving the drop ship and approaching her. She looked at Kat carefully. "Are you okay? You look a little pale."

"I'm fine," Kat said, waving her hand impatiently and turning her full attention on Clarke. "How are you doing?"

"I'm…. doing okay," Clarke said eventually, sounding brave but looking uncertain. "The exodus ship was early, so obviously something went wrong. A bunch of us are heading over to see if we can determine what went wrong. Do you want to come?"

Kat caught movement out of the corner of her eye and saw Octavia hovering at the edge of the all the activity, giving her an urgent, telling look. Kat sighed, pretending she didn't see her. "Normally I would," she said, turning back to Clarke. "But I think I'm going to pass, this time." Clarke nodded and turned to go, but Kat caught her arm, acting on a sudden impulse. "Be careful, okay?"

Clarke looked surprised by Kat's concern, but nodded again. "I will. We should be back by tonight."

Kat watched Clarke meet up with Raven, Finn and the others, and hoped beyond anything that the grounders didn't choose today to retaliate for that disaster of a meeting yesterday. Swallowing her anxiety, Kat headed towards where she had seen Octavia disappear.

"Hey," Kat greeted, coming up to Octavia who had her arms crossed and was tapping her fingers impatiently. "What's going on?"

"I need to sneak out," Octavia whispered in an urgent voice. "I need to make sure that Lincoln is okay – "

Kat was surprised with the intensity radiating from Octavia. "I'm sure he's fine, O, Arian was with him – "

"He was shot with an arrow, Kat, of course he's not fine!" Octavia snapped, eyes flashing. "Lincoln left his trail of white flowers, are you going to help me or not?"

"What are you two whispering about over here?" They both whirled around to see Bellamy walking over, his eyes flickering suspiciously between the two of them.

Kat automatically went on the defensive, throwing up her walls and crossing her arms. "Nothing," they both said at the same time, which couldn't have made them look any guiltier.

He narrowed his eyes, looking from one to the other, clearly not believing either of them. "Right. Well I'm taking a group out to search the wreckage of the exodus ship. I've stationed guards all along the wall and neither of you are allowed to sneak out. It would be stupid and dangerous, especially after everything that happened yesterday."

"You mean when you and boy wonder showed up out of nowhere and started shooting?" Octavia challenged, crossing her own arms and raising her eyebrow.

"No, I mean when we saved your lives," Bellamy corrected angrily.

"Clarke was getting through to their leader, you idiot – "

"Is that why the grounders in the trees were preparing to shoot arrows? If Jasper hadn't seen them – "

"Do you have any other orders, your majesty?" Kat interjected, in a sarcastic tone. "Cause, no offense, but I've heard this conversation so many times already and there's no right answer. I've got things to do. Grounders to see."

His furious gaze snapped to her. "That's not funny. It's not safe out there and I forbid you – "

"You _forbid_ me?" Kat repeated slowly, feeling the anger swirling through her. Octavia pinched her hard on the back of her arm. Kat forced a painful smile on her face and tried to appear pleasant. "Okay," she said through clenched teeth. "We understand."

"You do?" He paused, looking confused and suspicious.

"Yep," Octavia piped up, plastering a reassuring smile on her own face. "We hear you."

"Let's go, Bellamy!" Miller called as the others filed out of the gate.

"I'll be back before nightfall," Bellamy told them warningly. "Don't do anything reckless and stupid."

Octavia waited until he walked away before rounding on Kat. "What the hell is going on between you two?"

"I don't know," Kat said in a hard, defensive voice, watching his back walk out of the gate. She didn't know how to deal with the tangle of confused and hurt emotions running through her, so she shoved them away and focused on something that she did know how to deal with. "Come on," she said to Octavia, physically turning in the opposite direction from Bellamy.

"Where are we going?" Octavia asked breathlessly, jogging to keep up.

"We're going to sneak out and follow Lincoln's trail," Kat said in a determined voice. "Your _brother_ needs to learn that he can't be an ass, bark out orders and expect me to follow them. I'm not some docile, helpless girl that's going to cower behind the walls while the others are out trying to figure out what's happened. We're going to find some answers of our own."

"That's what I like to hear," Octavia grinned. "What's the plan?" Kat smirked.

Ten minutes later, Octavia was waiting inconspicuously by the loose boards that Kat had found when the wall had first been put up. Kat snuck around the outer edges of the tents, staying out of sight. She knew how jumpy and scared the rest of the 100 were at the moment, and even though it caused her a small twinge of guilt, she knew exactly what to do. It was the perfect distraction.

Crouching low behind one of the tents so she wouldn't be seen, Kat shouted in a loud, scared voice, "A grounder! I saw a grounder on the north side! Somebody come quick!"

There were panicked shouts almost immediately and a flurry of movement as people ran towards the wall to look. Kat slipped away before they approached and jogged over to where Octavia was standing. "Could you have shouted any louder?" Octavia hissed, looking around. "I don't think the grounders in the next village heard you."

"I had to make it sound believable," Kat shrugged, pushing the wooden board aside waving her through. "After you."

"The flowers led this way," Octavia said over her shoulder, setting off at a brisk jog. They moved quickly, wanting to get back before Clarke and Bellamy returned and before anyone else realized they were missing. Octavia collected the beautiful white flowers each time she saw one, placing it carefully in her pocket and hurrying on.

The journey ended up being shorter than Kat had expected, only a mile or two outside their camp. When they saw a figure ahead, leaning against a tree, Octavia broke into a run. "Lincoln!"

The figure turned and Octavia staggered to a halt, her shoulders slumping with disappointment. "Where's Lincoln?"

"He's alright," Arian said quickly, pushing off the tree and coming closer to them. "He's still a little sore, but he's otherwise unharmed. He's being closely watching so he wanted me to meet with you."

Octavia nodded, looking relieved that he was alright, but still disappointed that she couldn't see him. "How bad is it?" Kat asked softly, eyes on Arian.

He sighed, knowing exactly what she was talking about. "It's not good," he admitted. "Our leaders have been in meetings for hours and they still haven't emerged. I'm not permitted to attend these meetings, so I'm unsure of what they're planning. But they are planning something." He glanced over his shoulder suddenly, his eyes wide and his body tensed. "I cannot stay long, we will all be missed. Be careful and stay strong." His eyes lingered on Kat. "Both of you."

"You too," Kat said sincerely, looking at him with concern. "Check in every once in a while, okay?"

A carefree grin that Kat was beginning to associate with Ari spread across his face. With a teasing glance at Octavia, he said in a light voice, "Shall I leave you flowers so you know that I am safe?"

Octavia rolled her eyes and turned to leave, muttering darkly under her breath as both Kat and Ari burst out laughing. Kat waved a grateful goodbye to him, before jogging to catch up with Octavia. "Your friend is an ass," she muttered in a disgruntled voice.

Still chortling, Kat playfully shoved Octavia with her shoulder. "Yeah well that _ass_ just gave you the good news that your boyfriend or lover or whatever it is that you're calling him is safe and healing fine. He didn't have to come at all, you know."

"Stop being logical," Octavia lightly shoved her back.

"Then lighten up," Kat smirked, hooking an arm around Octavia's shoulders and dragging her closer. "You just got laid last night, you shouldn't be this bitchy already," she joked.

"And what's with your mood?" Octavia asked, giving her a weird look.

"I got laid last night." Kat grinned at the disgusted noise Octavia made as she pushed Kat away. "I won't go into all the gory details, but I refuse to let your asshole of a brother ruin the after effects. I'm trying to compartmentalize. To focus on the now."

Octavia brown eyes were knowing and seemed to see right through Kat. "I hope that works out for you," she said in a soft voice.

Kat's grin faltered as she struggled to keep away the insecurities. She fell a step behind Octavia as they headed back to camp. To keep her mind off the storm of emotions thundering through her, she focused on a run through of various fighting sequences that she learned, picturing different attackers coming at her and how she would react.

They were able to slip back into camp unnoticed and Kat mumbled some excuse about needing to find some food and fled from Octavia's piercing gaze. She headed back to her own tent, collapsed on her bed, pulled the blankets above her head and proceeded to not think about anything for the next couple of hours. _1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…._

It was peaceful almost, lying there and counting. Her muscles relaxed, her anxiety faded and she was actually able to drift into a sort of meditative state. She really should have known it was too good to last.

At sometime during the night, she heard more shouting and a loud commotion and when she peeked outside she saw Octavia and Connor coming back in from the gates, two other boys who she didn't know was carrying a semi-limp body between them. She frowned, stepping out of her tent and walking closer. She crouched slightly to see who it was and swore loudly. "Murphy? What the fuck is he doing here? And why the fuck are you bringing him inside?"

"Nice to see you too, Hale," Murphy mumbled, somehow managing to glare at her from a bloody face and swollen, purple eyes.

"You look like shit," she told him uncaringly, straightening up.

"Which is why Clarke needs to see him," Octavia said, directing him to be taken to the drop ship. "If we make a move before Bellamy and Clarke get back – "

"Bellamy is going to freak out," Kat pointed out, watching Murphy disappear. "He hates Murphy after what happened with Charlotte."

"He'll get over it," Octavia muttered.

"I guess you'll find out," Kat said, nodding towards the gate. "Because here he comes."

"Why are the gates unguarded?" Bellamy barked, looking pissed. The rest of the group came straggling in behind him, looking exhausted and defeated. "I leave for one day – "

"Bellamy," Octavia cut in. "You and Clarke need to go into the drop ship. Murphy's back."

"What?" Clarke asked in disbelief, her face slack. Bellamy's face hardened, his grip on his gun tightening. With a murderous expression in his eyes, he stalked off to the drop ship without another word, Clarke, Kat and Finn trotting along after him. Clarke because she probably wanted to stop him from doing anything stupid, Kat because she just wanted to see what she was going to happen.

"We caught him trying to sneak back into camp," Connor explained as they all walked in.

"I wasn't sneaking. I was running from grounders," Murphy breathlessly bit out, sounding as if every breath cost him pain.

"Anyone see grounders?" Bellamy asked. He looked around, but everyone shook their heads. "Well in that case…" Bellamy raised his gun and Finn stepped in, pushing the gun away.

"Hey what the hell is wrong with you?" He asked angrily.

"We were clear on what would happen if he came back – "

"No!" Finn stepped in front of the gun. "If he was with the grounders, then he knows things that could help us!"

"Help us?" Bellamy repeated incredulously. "We hanged him, we banished him and now we're going to kill him. Get the fuck out of my way – "

"No," Clarke interjected and the room went silent, as it always seemed to do when she was speaking. "Finn's right."

"Like hell he is!" Bellamy exploded angrily. "Clarke, think about Charlotte!"

"I am thinking about her!" Clarke snapped, looking up from where she was crouched over Murphy. "But what happened to Charlotte was as much our fault as it was his." She examined him briefly, picking up his hands and looking at them closely. "He's not lying. His fingernails were torn off. They tortured him."

"You and the grounders can compare notes," Finn said to Bellamy sarcastically.

"The grounders know we're at war! What did you tell them about us?" Bellamy demanded.

"Everything," Murphy whispered in a defeated voice.

There was a long, tense moment of silence before Clarke got up and approached Bellamy, saying in a low voice, "Once he's better, we find out what he knows and then he's out of here."

"And what if he refuses to leave. What do we do with him then?"

Clarke met Kat's eyes briefly before looking away. "Then we kill him." She swept out of the drop ship in an extremely dramatic fashion and Kat couldn't help but admire her style.

"Don't let him out of your sight," Bellamy ordered, turning to leave. He stopped short when he saw Kat, as if he had forgotten that she was even there. He opened his mouth to speak, then that same tortured look came into his eyes and he shook his head, walking away.

Kat stood there for a moment, letting the pain settle over her before shaking it off and heading outside. She had barely stepped foot on the ground when Octavia grabbed her arm and pulled her into her tent. "What's your prob – "

"Something's wrong," Octavia interrupted, as if Kat didn't speak at all. "Lincoln left another flower. Why would he do that when he had just sent Ari to meet with us?"

"How do you know it wasn't from before – "

"Because it was in a different spot and it wasn't there before! That was hours ago!" Octavia threw up her hands in frustration. "Kat we need to do something – "

"What do you expect me to do? Now that Bellamy's back, he tightened the watches on the wall and he's going to be keeping an eye on you. When things calm down, we'll see what we can do."

Octavia nodded, then froze, her eyes on Kat's face. "Did you… Did you just call him Bellamy? I thought I heard it earlier, but I thought I heard wrong - "

Kat did not like the look on Octavia's face, the suspicion behind her eyes. "That's his name, isn't it?" Kat snapped, annoyed.

"Yeah, but – "

"Clarke!" Somebody screamed from outside. "Somebody get Clarke!"

Kat and Octavia shared a dark look before rushing out to see what was wrong. Everyone was standing around, watching Connor and another person hunched over, coughing painfully into their hands. When they straightened, their hands were covered in blood, and blood was dripping out of their eyes and noses. They both suddenly looked exhausted and weak. "What the hell?" Kat muttered, looking around. She caught sight of a blonde head over by the drop ship and jogged over. "Clarke what's – oh shit, your eyes – "

"Stay back!" Clarke warned, wiping the blood off her face. "They're the ones that brought Murphy in. Don't come near the drop ship."

Kat watched her hurry away, worry spreading through her. She waited outside with the other as the sick were brought into the drop ship. Bellamy hurried inside, and a short while later Finn came running past. Raven shifted awkwardly next to her at this, but she didn't say anything. The mood outside was tense – Kat couldn't wrap her head around the implications of what had already been said.

Eventually Bellamy came storming out, his expression dark. "Where's Octavia?" He demanded.

Kat looked around in surprise, but didn't see her anywhere. "I don't know, in her tent I guess – Ow, what the hell – Everybody has _got_ to stop pulling me around - "

"You're coming with me," He ordered, tightening his grip on Kat's upper arm and dragging her in the direction of Octavia's tent, pushing her gently inside.

"Jesus!" Octavia jumped, shoving something under her pillow and spinning around to look over her shoulder. "You scared me."

"How are you feeling?" He asked urgently.

"I'm fine," she said shortly, rolling her eyes. "Get out."

"Did either of you touch Murphy yesterday?" He asked, looking between the two of them and crossing his arms.

"What is going on?" Kat asked, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "You can't just manhandle me in front of the entire camp – "

"Just answer the fucking question, Kat," Bellamy snapped, his eyes narrowed and his hands reaching out to take hold of her arms and shaking her slightly. "Think carefully, this is important. Did you touch Murphy yesterday?" His brown gaze was piercing into her, and she almost imagined that he wasn't breathing as he waited for her answer.

Kat's heart was pounding quickly in response to his intensity, and she looked at him with wide eyes. "N-no, I didn't touch him – "

"Did you?" He asked, letting go of Kat and rounding on Octavia.

"I don't know, probably. What the hell is going on?"

"The grounders sent him here with a virus to infect us," Bellamy told them, shoulders slumping slightly in relief. "Derek just died from it. Another mark for your boyfriends book," he said in an angry, judgmental tone. "Get up. Both of you need to go to the drop ship so Clarke can examine you."

Kat swallowed the impulse to snap at him again for assuming she'd follow her orders, but she figured now wasn't the best time. _Pick your battles, Hale. _When Kat and Octavia entered the drop ship, they saw that the number of infected people had tripled in that short amount of time. Clarke handed Bellamy a rag and they raised it to cover their mouths.

"Are you alright?" Kat asked in concern, her eyes tracing over Clarke's bloodshot eyes, pale face and exhausted expression.

"Don't worry about me," Clarke dismissed, grabbing a light and stepping closer. "Open your mouth." She examined both Kat and Octavia carefully. "Okay, I'm done. There are no visible signs of swelling or inflation."

"I didn't touch Murphy," Kat pointed out once more.

"Octavia did," Bellamy interjected, looking at Clarke. "Are you saying she doesn't have it?"

"I'm saying she doesn't have symptoms," Clarke corrected wearily. "But that could change. We need to keep her here just in case."

"No way," Bellamy said immediately, shaking his head. "Look at this place, she'll get sick just being here."

"Do you want to stop the spread or not?" Clarke asked. "Look, I'll keep her on the third floor with the people who aren't showing symptoms yet. Think of it as a way to stop her from sneaking out again."

"Screw you, Clarke," Octavia snapped, looking pissed. She didn't look pleased with the fact that she was being locked up and Kat didn't blame her.

Clarke ignored her. "I'll let you know if her condition changes," she said to Bellamy. He nodded and left the drop ship without looking at Kat.

Octavia scoffed angrily, brushing past Clarke to head upstairs. "Octavia wait," Clarke called over her shoulder. Looking at Kat, Clarke asked in a heavy voice, "Do you trust Lincoln? Do you trust that he won't hurt Octavia?"

Kat frowned, confused by this line of questioning. "You saw what he was like with her the other day. He would never hurt her."

Clarke nodded and turned to Octavia. "I need you to sneak out again."

"You want me to go see Lincoln," Octavia guessed perceptively. "About the cure?"

Clarke nodded again, but the movement seemed to put her off balance because she reached out to put a hand on the wall to steady herself. Kat cautiously stepped forward, concern on her face. "Maybe you should lay down, Clarke," Kat suggested. "It won't help anyone if you overexert yourself – "

"I can't," Clarke snapped, some of her old fire returning for a moment as her bloodshot blue eyes flashed. "More and more people are getting sick every minute and I need to take care of them. Octavia, go. Now." Octavia shot a worried look at Kat but did as she was told and hurried off. "You shouldn't be in here," Clarke said to Kat. "Better leave before you get sick."

"Maybe I should stay and help you – "

Clarke put a hand on Kat's back and guided her out the door. "Go find something useful to do, Kat."

Grumbling under her breath, Kat crossed her arms and loitered around the outside of the drop ship with nothing to do. She watched with a nervous energy as multiple bodies were brought out and carefully laid down on the ground. Muttering broke out among the other watching teenagers and sensing their fear, Bellamy stepped forward, always holding his gun.

"Alright, people, show's over. Get back to your posts!" He approached Clarke and Kat over heard him say. "You got enough food in there? Water?"

"Yeah," Clarke answered. "Some medicine might be nice."

"I'll see what I can do," Bellamy said in amusement. "Octavia, are you okay?" He called out in a loud voice. A look of regret and apprehension crossed Clarke's face. Bellamy obviously saw it too because he started forward angrily.

"Bellamy, wait," Clarke said. "She's not here. I sent her to see Lincoln. If anyone has the cure, it's him."

"If anything happens to her, you and me are going to have a problem," he snapped, whirling around, his mouth tight and eyes dark with fury. He caught sight of Kat standing there. "Did you know about this?" He demanded. "Did you let my sister go by herself out there where the grounders could get her – "

"Let her?" Kat repeated in disbelief. "Since when does anyone tell Octavia what to do?"

"That's my sister, Kat, and if she gets hurt – "

"Lincoln won't hurt her," Kat cut him off angrily, completely fed up with his attitude towards her. "I don't know what your fucking problem is, Blake, but all your moods are giving me whiplash. So unless you plan on acting like a normal human being, don't talk to me anytime soon."

He looked slightly taken aback by her outburst, but then blinked and shook his head, heading towards the gate. "Out of my way!" He barked.

The kid guarding the gate turned around and everyone in his vicinity backed away quickly. "Dude your eyes!" One of them gasped.

"Get to the drop ship," Bellamy ordered, pointing a finger. The rest of the 100 were silent, watching what was going in with bated breath.

Another girl collapsed on the other side of the clearing and a couple people automatically caught her. She coughed, half unconscious, spraying blood into their faces. They dropped her, yelling in fear and disgust and all hell broke loose. The guards started shouting at them to stay back, raising their guns and forming a circle around the infected. Bellamy was trying to shout at them to lower their weapons but nobody could hear him over everything else. Kat was watching the proceedings with wide eyes, her body tense as she waited to see who would be the first to shoot.

People were screaming in panic, guns were raised, and everyone kept shoving each other.

Three gunshots rang through the air, and the noise died down immediately as everyone looked over in surprise to see Clarke standing on the ramp of the drop ship a gun raised to the sky.

"This is exactly what the grounders want," Clarke began in a breathless voice. "They don't have to kill us if we kill each other first – "

"They won't have to kill us, if we all catch the virus," some moron shouted, pointing his gun at Clarke. "Get back in the damn drop ship – "

Bellamy disarmed him in two moves, slamming his elbow back into the kids' nose and dropping him to the ground. "Not to state the obvious," Bellamy muttered. "But your quarantine isn't working."

Clarke staggered back a step, her eyes fluttering and Finn moved to catch her before she fell over. "Finn, don't touch her!" Raven cried, but it was too late.

"I'm okay," Clarke protested wearily. "Octavia will come back with a cure – "

"There is no cure!" Octavia came pushing her way through the crowd, looking around urgently. "But the grounders don't use the sickness to kill!"

"Really?" Bellamy protested, pointing a thumb over his shoulder at the dead bodies. "Tell that to them. I warned you about seeing that grounder again."

"Yeah, well, I have a warning for you too." She raised her voice so everybody could hear. "The grounders are coming! They attack at first light." She paused for a moment, listening to the fear and muttering spreading through the crowd. She headed towards Clarke, but Bellamy caught her arm. Octavia looked at him stonily before yanking her arm away and going with Finn and Clarke into the drop ship.

Bellamy was quiet for a moment before turning to Raven. "How many bullets can you make by first light?"

Raven looked grim. "I guess we'll find out."

Bellamy ordered the rest of the group back to their posts and followed Raven to the weapons tent along with Monty, Jasper and a blonde that Kat had never met before. Kat had originally begun to follow them, but stopped short. She didn't want to be anywhere near Bellamy right now, and she couldn't imagine being stuck in an enclosed space with him. She couldn't be held responsible for any possible actions.

So instead she headed towards the drop ship and spent the next couple of hours in a haze. She kept her mouth shut and her head down and followed whatever orders Clarke breathlessly gave her from the hammock that Octavia and Finn had forced her into. When she passed out from sheer exhaustion, Octavia took over, surprising Kat with how much she knew.

At some point, both Kat and Octavia were over in the corner, rinsing blood off rags and hanging them up to dry. "How's Lincoln?" Kat asked in a quiet whisper.

"Fine," Octavia answered through clenched teeth, wringing the rag out especially hard. "He knew about the virus. That's why he left that second flower."

Kat let that information wash over for a moment. "You know, it's really inconvenient that he can't leave messages with writing and instructions - "

"He wants me to run away with him," Octavia whispered in a rushed voice, peeking up at Kat to get her reaction.

She stilled, her heart beginning to race and fear beginning to flood through her. "What are going to do?"

"I don't – " Octavia stopped mid-sentence, the color draining from her face, her eyes wide. "Bell? No… Clear a space!" She called, rushing over to move some things out of the way.

Kat turned slowly to see two people carrying Bellamy between them. He looked terrible. His face was pale and his eyes were bloodshot. There was dried blood on his face and his eyes kept rolling back into his head, the breath wheezing out of him.

Bellamy coughed as they laid him down, Octavia shouted to roll him over onto his side as he began to vomit up blood, his entire body convulsing. Kat watched, her breath caught in her chest as Octavia murmured to him softly, holding his hand and wiping the blood from his face, a brave smile on her face.

Kat felt her hands shaking slightly, and clenched them tightly, her fingernails digging into her palms. The pain seemed to wake her from her dazed state, and she tore her gaze away from Bellamy and stumbled to the door, desperate for some fresh air.

She breathed deeply once she was outside, putting her hands on her hips and walking around aimlessly, trying to figure out her body's reaction. Bellamy has been a huge asshole to her. He was rude, inconsiderate and hopelessly confusing. So why did she care what happened to him?

_Because he's a friend,_ the rational part of her brain said. _It's natural that you care a little bit about him after everything you guys have been through._

"I don't care," she muttered in denial.

"Talking to yourself, Kat?" She looked up to see Raven walking near her, a backpack over her shoulder.

"Trying to win an argument against myself," Kat smile wryly. "I need a break from all…. That," she said, waving her hand in the direction of the drop ship.

"I hear you," Raven murmured, her eyes staring at the drop ship with a lost expression on her face. "I'll let you get back to your argument," she said, shaking her head and putting on a smile. "I'll see you – "

"Hey," Kat cried in surprise, steadying her as Raven turned to leave and stumbled. "Are you okay? Maybe you should have Clarke check you – "

"No," Raven said quickly, straightening and brushing Kat away. "I'm fine, Kat." Something caught Raven's eye over Kat's shoulder and she nodded her head in that direction. "Octavia's looking for you."

Kat looked over to see Octavia waving at her, and when she turned back around to Raven, she was gone. Kat walked over to Octavia with a frown on her face, wondering why Raven was acting so weird. "What's up?" Kat asked distractedly.

"Bellamy's mumbling your name," Octavia told her, a strange look on her face. "Can you go sit with him?"

"Sit with him?" Kat repeated, eyes wide with panic. "And do what? Why?"

Octavia rolled her eyes, putting on her serious face. "That's my big brother in there, Kat. He's unconsciously asking for you, so you are going to sit there with him. Hold his hand. Tell him he's going to be okay. Anything to make him feel better. I'll come relieve you in a couple minutes."

Octavia gave her a gentle shove in the direction of the drop ship and Kat swallowed harshly, feeling more than a little nauseous. The drop ship air felt sickly and stuffy, and the only sound was the coughing of it's infected occupants. Kat's eyes immediately found Bellamy, who was still lying on his back, appearing to be asleep. Uncertainly, Kat slowly walked over to him and sank to the floor, his arms wrapped around her knees.

She stared unseeingly at his face, jumping when he shifted his head to the other side and mumbled, "Kat…."

Kat reached out a hand to him, hesitating, then pulled it back when he coughed softly and opened his eyes. "Hey," she whispered, shifting closer to him.

His brown eyes searched her face carefully, an unreadable expression in them. "You're here," he croaked. She nodded. "I'm glad," he continued in a relieved voice, reaching out a shaky hand and taking hers, threading their fingers together and bringing it to rest on his chest, right above his heart. She stared at them, her heart pounding again, confusion rushing through her. "Did Jasper and Finn leave yet?"

"Leave?" Kat asked, her eyes moving to his face as he frowned. "Where are they going?"

"Raven made a bomb to blow up the bridge and slow down the grounders," Bellamy said in a tired voice, his eyes drifting closed again. "Finn's going to plant it and Jasper's going to set it off." His eyes popped open again, looking imploring up at her. "Don't go, okay? Stay. Please…" She nodded as his hand tightened around hers for a moment before he fell back asleep.

Kat's eyebrows drew together, her short conversation with Raven playing again in her mind. She thought about the determined expression on her face, her weird attitude and the bag on her back. If there was one thing she knew about Raven it was that she loved Finn more than anything else in this world. And she wouldn't let him walk into danger.

Shit.

"Hey," Octavia said softly, kneeling beside her. "How is he?"

"He's fine," Kat answered quickly, her mind distracted. She detangled her hand from Bellamy's and stood. "I'll see you later." She didn't see Octavia's confused look as she rushed out of the drop ship.

She stopped by her tent to grab her sword, strapping it on and hurrying out of her secret exit. Raven had left to plant and shoot this bomb by herself, and from what Kat had seen and what she was guessing, Raven caught the virus. Which means she might not make it by herself.

* * *

**Bellamy's POV**

Bellamy groaned, opening his sore eyes as he looked around in confusion, unsure of whether he was still dreaming or not. His entire body felt weak, but he gritted his teeth and forced himself up into a sitting position. Blood immediately began pouring from his nose again.

"Here." A rag appeared in his line of vision, and he took it gratefully, looking up at Octavia, who was smiling at him in relief. "Hey big brother."

"Hey," he answered, wiping the blood away. "You didn't get sick?" Octavia shook her head. "That's good. And Kat? Where is she? I think I remember her being here, but I could have been dreaming – " He stopped at the apprehensive, upset look on Octavia's face. "What? What is it?"

"Kat's missing."

His heart nearly stopped. "Missing?" He repeated in a loud voice. "What do you mean she's missing?" He staggered to his feet, pushing away Octavia's helping hands. "Where is she? Tell me where she is!"

Octavia's eyes widened at his reaction, completely nonplussed. "We think… we think she went after Raven. Apparently she took the bomb without Finn and Jasper – Bellamy, what are you doing?"

"I'm going after her."

"Don't be stupid, Bell, you're sick – "

"I don't care!" He roared, stumbling towards the drop ship entrance.

"What's going on?" Clarke hurried over to block Bellamy from leaving.

"I think he's having a psychotic break," Octavia grunted, getting in his way again.

"Bellamy Blake, sit the fuck down!" Clarke snapped, helping Octavia grab his arms and sit him back down on his bed. He was already exhausted, breathing heavily and unable to fight them.

"If she gets hurt," he panted in a strained voice, looking up at them in fear. "If she – if she dies – "

"She's going to be fine, Bell," Octavia said soothingly, helping him lie back down. "She'll be back soon."

A defeated look crossed his face, his eyes closing to hide his pain. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Octavia," he whispered.

Clarke looked bewildered. "What's going on?" She mouthed to Octavia, but the other girl waved her off, not wanting to get into it, staring down at her brother with a worried look on her face.

* * *

**Kat's POV**

Kat took off at a run. The grounders were coming and without this chance they might not have enough people to fight. Even worse than that, Raven might pass out somewhere and she might not make it back. Kat ran in the general direction of where she remembered the bridge being. She ran through the night, ignoring the stitch in her side and the burning of her leg muscles. She dodged trees and leaped over large roots. She ran for hours, until the sweat was soaking her shirt and her legs felt numb and weak.

Daylight was beginning to break by the time Kat finally reached the bridge. She scanned it quickly and her heart nearly stopped when she recognized Raven's body lying on the middle of the bridge. Kat sprinted forward the last stretch, dropping to her knees. "Raven!" She called urgently, gently patting her cheek. "Raven, wake up!" Raven stirred, her eyes fluttering open, but it took her a moment to focus on Kat. Kat wiped some of the blood away from her face. "That's it," she encouraged. "Tell me what to do Raven. What's next?"

Raven weakly motioned to the bag lying next to her. "Take the can," she whispered in a barely there voice. "The 'x'…." Kat nodded, making sure the x was visible. "Jar with red liquid… inside… oh god." She stopped speaking and they both froze, listening to the hair raising, terrifying sound of approaching war drums.

"Stay with me, Raven," Kat hissed, carefully placing the jar inside the can. "What's next?"

"Shake… gunpowder… around it."

"Is that it?" Kat asked, shaking it around and putting the top on it. Raven nodded weakly, her eyes closing again with a sigh. "No, no, no," Kat murmured, leaving the bomb and going over to the other girl. "Come on, Reyes, you can't fade on me now. Get up," Kat seized one of her arms and heaved, using all her remaining strength to help Raven stagger to her feet.

Her muscles were shaking with adrenaline and fear. The war drums were getting closer and Kat could imagine she could see figures in the forest heading towards her.

"Raven!" She looked up with relief to see Finn sprinting towards them, his eyes wide with panic. He took Raven's other arm and together they helped her run to safety. "Shoot, Jasper!" He screamed. "Shoot! Shoot!"

A shot went off, but it went wide. Then another, but that one also missed. Kat peeked over the rock that they were hiding behind and saw dark figures in the trees, hesitating as they waited to see if there were any more shots. Kat watched with her heart in her throat as they began to approach once more. "Shit," Kat muttered. "Come on, Jasper!"

They were now crossing the bridge, holding their weapons in the air. Two more missed shots and then – the bullet connected. The explosion was huge. Fire and smoke shot into the air, dirt, trees and bodies flying through the air. Kat ducked back behind the rock, her hands covering her ears and eyes squeezed shut in shock.

Kat's ears were ringing in the silence that followed. Opening her eyes, she cautiously peered over the rock to see the after effects. The bridge was blown to smithereens, and Kat thought she could see body parts littering the ground.

"Come on," Finn muttered, his voice sounding weird through her ears. "We need to get Raven to Clarke."

Kat grimaced, standing on shaky legs and throwing Raven's arm around her shoulder. They headed back towards camp, meeting up with an enthusiastic Finn and Monty on the way. They replayed the action play by play, laughing and gesturing wildly, but Kat and Finn were silent. They shared a long look, and Kat knew that he was thinking the same thing she was.

They had killed a lot of people today. People with lives and families and friends. And still that wouldn't stop the grounders from coming to kill them all. They might have won this small battle. But they still could lose the war.

It was a long trek back to camp. Kat was exhausted and Finn must have noticed because he murmured, "I've got her," as they approached the gates. They swung wide to reveal the entire camp standing there, cheering and clapping and Kat stopped. She didn't want to go in there and celebrate the loss of all those people. She was just too tired.

She hung back, watching as people clapped Monty and Jasper on the back, as Clarke hurried forward to help Finn take Raven to the drop ship. Bellamy slipped past the cheering crowd and out of the gates, moving toward her. "You're up," she said lamely. He didn't answer, but grabbed her face, moving it from side to side, eyes searching her carefully as he looked her up and down. "What are you doing?"

"Are you okay?" He asked intently. "And don't lie to me, Kat."

"I'm fine," she sighed, brushing him away. "Just tired."

Without another word, Bellamy grabbed Kat's hand and dragged her away from the gates and a short distance into the woods where nobody could see them. Kat rolled her eyes at his antics but was too tired to protest. "Where are we going, Bell - "

He stopped, tugging her hand forward so she stumbled into his chest. He crashed his lips to hers, swallowing her gasp of surprise, his hands coming up to frame her face and hold her still. Kat was taken aback by the passion and ferocity behind his kiss, her hands gripping his arms in an attempt to keep up. His tongue stroked the inside of her mouth, teasing hers and then withdrawing.

Kat just began to fall into the kiss when he was suddenly gone. She blinked in surprise, watching him take a few steps back, running his hands through his hair in frustration. He began to pace back and forth, throwing her unreadable looks every few seconds.

Kat was beyond confused, and more than a little alarmed by his behavior. Maybe he was still sick?

"Bellamy?" She asked tentatively. He looked up and she gasped at the burning look he gave her as he slowly stalked forward. Breathless, she backed up until she was pinned against a tree, their bodies barely touching. "What-" "Shut up Kitten," he growled, fisting a hand in her black hair. "Just shut up," he murmured again, lowering his head and capturing her lips in another desperate kiss.

Her eyebrows were furrowed as she struggled to understand what was going on with him. His behavior today was baffling and Bellamy seemed to realize that she was just going through the motions, that she wasn't mentally there. He pressed her harder into the tree, his hands slipping under her shirt, his lips trying to coax a reaction from her.

She pulled her lips away, but he just continued trailing kisses down her neck, undaunted. "Bellamy," she panted, trying to pull his face away. "Bellamy, wait." He ignored her, his hand inching towards her bra strap. "Stop!" She shouted, putting her hands on his chest and pushing him a couple steps back.

His hair was tangled from her hands, his lips swollen and his eyes wild. He looked sexy and irresistible and Kat had no idea what she was doing.

"This is what you wanted, isn't it?" Bellamy asked in a harsh voice, gesturing between the two of them. "Sex? Just sex?"

_Yes,_ her mind said firmly. But what came out of her mouth was something different. "What's going on with you?" She asked, shaking her head, her eyes wide. "You've been acting weird all day – "

"Nothing," Bellamy spat angrily, running his hands through his hair. "I don't want to talk and you don't want to hear what I have to say. Now shut up and kiss me." He made to move toward her again.

"No," Kat protested, glaring at him, putting her hands on her hips. "I'm trying to understand and you won't let me. We had sex last night, mind-blowingly amazing sex. The next morning, you're cold and distant, you're shouting at me one moment and the next you're putting the blame on me for things that are beyond my control. You spend all day pushing me away, then hold my hand and ask me to sit by your bedside when you're sick. I don't know what to think anymore, I don't know what's going on with you! Why are you acting so strange – "

"Because I'm in love with you!" He snapped, his voice cracking through the air like a whip. There was a long, tense moment of silence.

Kat was frozen, her eyes wide with pure, unadulterated terror. _I'm in love with you. _The words echoed inside her skull, causing her heartbeat to falter. Her body was trembling and her stomach twisted with pain. There was a loud roaring noise in her ears, and she felt like the world was tilting backwards with her sliding right off of it. She shook her head frantically, taking a stumbling step back. "No," she whispered tremulously. "No, please, don't…"

"I love you," he said again, the anger fading from his face. It hardened slightly as he watched the emotions play across her face. "Do you think I want to feel like this? When I heard that you went with Raven to plant the bomb, the terror and overwhelming hopelessness that I felt..." He shook his head against the memory. "I don't like feeling like that. When you care for someone down here, it's dangerous. You could lose them at a moment's notice, and I didn't want anything to do with that! But _you _made me want to be a better person, a better leader, a better everything. Sure, you're damaged. You're exasperating. And you're even more emotionally constipated than I am. But I love you _because_ of all of those things. I love you because you're strong, you're sexy, you care about everybody's lives but your own and you're a good person despite all the shit that life has dealt you." He was breathing heavily by this point, his eyes alight with warmth and passion. "I love you Katerina Hale, and I know you have feelings for me too – "

"No!" Kat cried in denial, cutting him off. The roaring in her ears had suddenly vanished as the overwhelming fear spurred her into action. _Why was he doing this to her? Why was he ruining everything?_ She ignored the hurt flashing in his eyes and continued on, following her natural instinct. Her face went blank as she re-built the walls around her heart. Her gray eyes went cold as she drew herself up to her full height in preparation of what she was about to do. "I don't have feelings for you," Kat told him in a cruel voice. "And I certainly don't love you. I mean really, Blake, how could anyone ever love someone like you?" She laughed sarcastically. "You're selfish, weak and cowardly. You strung up your friend in a tree overnight for liking your sister. You couldn't put him out of his misery when he was dying, Clarke had to do it for you. Your advice to Charlotte led her to kill Wells. The guilt was so overwhelming that she committed suicide. You took a group of people into grounder territory to look for _your_ sister and three of them ended up dead." She could see the look of pain and betrayal on his face but once she was started she couldn't stop. "But worst of all, you're a murderer. You killed over three hundred people because you were too busy thinking about yourself. You're a hypocrite," Kat hissed. "You think Murphy is the bad guy? What you've done is so much worse. I do _not_ love you, Bellamy Blake. I don't think anyone ever could." She stared at him furiously, her jaw clenched though her chest heaved. "We're done. It's over."

She didn't want to read the emotions on his face, but she couldn't look away. Hurt, pain, guilt, shame, betrayal, but worst of all acceptance. He listened and believed everything that she said, nodding like he deserved it. His eyes were wide and kind of scared looking, but he swallowed harshly, looked at the floor and walked away without a word.

Kat stared at the spot where he had stood just seconds ago. She couldn't breathe. Someone was standing on her chest, squeezing her heart with cold, icy hands. She fell to her knees, her head falling into her hands as she gasped for breath.

Too many emotions, too many feelings were bombarding her from all sides. She couldn't handle it all, it was too raw. Too real. She wanted to forget. A small noise of pain tore through her throat when she realized that she usually went to Blake to forget. Staggering back to her feet, she headed back towards camp with a determined look on her face. It took her a while to find Monty's tent, but it took her less than no time at all to steal Monty's moonshine.

* * *

**Octavia's POV**

"Thanks for all your help today, Octavia," Clarke said gratefully, gesturing around her. "I can clean up the rest of this, why don't you get some rest."

Octavia nodded, smiled one last time at Raven who was resting in the hammock and left the drop ship. It was late, but there was still a group of people hanging around the bonfire, hanging onto Jasper and Monty's every word as they retold their story for the hundredth time. She shook her head, smiling slightly at their antics.

Shoving her hands in her pockets and trying not to worry about Lincoln, Octavia headed towards her tent, hoping to get some sleep. She paused mid-step, frowning slightly. The sound of off-tune humming reached her, accompanied with the occasional giggle.

"Hello?" Octavia called cautiously, walking slowly around the tents to the back corner to the wall of their camp. She blinked in surprise when she saw Kat sitting on the ground, leaning her back against the wall.

A wide, very un-Kat-like grin spread across her face when she saw Octavia standing there. "Octab – Octaz – " An annoyed frown spread Kat's face. "O! Have you come to join me?" She asked, giggling and raising a bottle.

Octavia walked over in concern, kneeling in front of Kat and taking the bottle from her, opening it and taking a whiff. "Did you drink this all by yourself?" She asked in stunned disbelief, unsure whether to laugh or be worried. "Is that safe?"

"'Dunno," Kat shrugged unconcernedly, reaching for the bottle again. Octavia held it out of her reach, tipping it over and spilling the remainder of the moonshine onto the ground. "Hey! What the fuck, you bitch – "

"No more, Kat. I'm cutting you off."

Kat glared at her with glassy eyes. "What's wrong with you Blakes anyway?" She spat angrily. "You always have to go sticking your noses where you don't belong and where you're not – where you're not wanted," she hiccupped, stumbling to her feet. "Don't touch me. I don't need or want your help – " She froze her eyes wide and her face turning green. "Uh oh. Stood up too fast."

Octavia jumped out of the way just as Kat bent over at the waist, retching and coughing. Wrinkling her nose, Octavia held Kat's hair behind her head as she puked.

"What's going on?" Octavia looked up to see Clarke coming around the corner, taking in the scene with a critical eye.

"Oh great," Kat mumbled, peeking up at her. "Blondie's here on her high horse to judge me – " She cut herself off as she bent over once more.

"She drank an entire bottle of Monty's moonshine by herself," Octavia told Clarke over the disgusting noises.

"Why?" Clarke asked, aghast. Octavia shrugged, looking clueless.

Kat groaned, straightening up and wiping her sleeve across her mouth. "I don't feel good," she mumbled, sagging back against Octavia, who stumbled slightly with her weight.

Clarke hurried to Kat's other side, putting her arm around her shoulder. "Let's get her back to her tent. She needs to sleep this off. What a fucking terrible time to get obliterated, Kat," she muttered, shaking her head.

They half guided, half carried Kat back to her tent and carefully laid her down on her bed, helping her out of her boots and jacket. Clarke left briefly and came back with a wet rag and a bucket. She placed the bucket next to the bed and handed the rag to Octavia, who gently wiped Kat's forehead, her mouth pulling down into a frown as she looked down into her friends face. "Why did you do this to yourself?" Octavia asked softly. "What happened?"

"I just wanted to forget," Kat answered, her eyes clouding over, her voice tight with pain. She reached out, grabbing Octavia's jacket and pulling her closely, her face pleading. "It hurts. I just want it to stop. Please make it stop 'tavia. I don't like it."

Octavia's concerned frowned deepened as she pried Kat's hand off her jacket and held it between both of her own. She had never seen her friend like this before and Octavia wasn't sure how to help her.

"What hurts?" Clarke asked, slipping into doctor mode, automatically looking her body over.

"Right… here." Kat patted her chest, clumsily, pouting up at her.

"Chest pains? Maybe heart burn – "

"I don't think that's what she means," Octavia said slowly, realization dawning on her. "Did something happen with Bellamy, Kat?"

"Bellamy?" Clarke repeated, confused.

Kat nodded, her eyes half shut. "I'm such a bitch. He crossed the line, he couldn't follow simple guidelines and he had to ruin everything. It's over. It's done. A clean break. So why does it hurt?" She whispered, vulnerability shining through her voice and her face.

"What's over?" Clarke asked. "What's going on?"

Kat sighed. "Bell - Blake and I were having sex. A lot of sex. Whenever we wanted. And it was great sex. So good," she sighed again, ignoring Clarke's shocked look and Octavia's disgusted one. "Then he wanted me to cuddle. And sleep over. And call him Bellamy. Too many feelings, too emotions. So I ended it. I expected to feel free. So why does it hurt?" She asked again in a small voice.

"Sometimes we can't help how we feel," Clarke told her softly, her eyes sad.

"I don't feel," Kat protested. "Not when it comes to him. Feelings lead to pain and death."

"That's morbid," Clarke commented quietly.

"That's Kat," Octavia said drily, watching her friend wearily close her eyes. "Just get some rest," she advised. "And pray that you don't remember any of this in the morning."

"Her and _Bellamy_?" Clarke hissed in disbelief once Kat was asleep. "How – what – "

"I'm not really sure," Octavia answered, putting the rag down. "I didn't know how I felt about it at first, and I don't know what happened between them recently. But it kind of makes sense, in a strange way. They fit together, though they're both too stubborn and stupid to realize it. I just hope that they find happiness before it's too late."

There was a moments pause. "Kat grew up without a mother," Clarke said softly, brushing Kat's hair away from her face. "She grew up with a mentally and physically abusive father. She spent her entire life terrified of doing something wrong, living in fear of making her father angry. Eventually all those emotions were too much. She hides her emotions behind an indestructible wall." Clarke gave a small smile, thinking back to the first time she had said that to Kat. "She has nightmares, you know. I'm only a couple of tents down, but I hear her sometimes. She's learned to run from what she feels, and that's why she has nightmares. To deny it is to invite madness. To accept it is to control."

"Do you think she'll ever accept it?" Octavia asked quietly.

"I don't know," Clarke whispered. "I just don't know."

* * *

**Author's Note: *****Ducks down to avoid flying objects***** Don't hate me! This was one of the first scenes that I envisioned when I created this story, and it was **_**extremely**_** emotional for me to write. Hopefully I captured all the character's reactions and emotions correctly. **

**Please leave a review whether you liked this chapter, you hated it or even if you're mad at me! I did warn you that things were going to get intense! I had one reviewer tell me about a scene that she had in mind for Kat and Bellamy for season 2, so if you guys want to suggest something to me before I binge watch season 2 I am totally open to that. **

**Oh and…. Three more chapters left :0**

**3/10 - Okay, so this is embarrassing. I showed my idiot sister my latest chapter on my laptop and she went to go review it without realizing I was signed on. So it looks like I reviewed my own story. She kind of went on a little bit of a rant and I just wanted to point it out so you guys don't think I review my own stories. Which some of you probably will. But oh well! She's one of the biggest supporters of my writing so I can't get mad at her for trying to be nice.**


	19. Acceptance

**Author's Note: You guys have blown me away with your responses to that last chapter. I really can't thank everyone enough – thank you for reviewing/favoriting/following my story – I love you all! Special thanks to my beta Dannylionthe1st!**

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter :)**

* * *

Chapter 19: Acceptance

Kat was stuck in the dark maze again. She struggled to run through the thick fog, her arms and legs pumping and her heart pounding wildly in her chest. Though she didn't see any pursuers whenever she frantically checked over her shoulder, she knew that someone was chasing her, someone who wanted to cause her harm. The darkness of the maze was absolute. She could barely see five feet in front of her and that only made her panic grow. Her breath was coming out in pants, her skin felt pale and clammy, and her muscles were shaky and weak.

"Please," she gasped out to the darkness. "Please…. somebody help me."

The person was getting closer. She could feel him breathing on the back of her neck, could feel his fingers grazing the back of her shirt. Holding back the scream building in her throat, Kat flung herself forward and suddenly found herself in a clearing with a dark gray sky that stretched for miles.

Confused, Kat spun in a circle, getting her breath back and trying to determine where she was. In the distance, she saw two figures facing each other, one of them holding a sword. "Hey!" She shouted, frowning. They didn't answer or make any move to indicate that they heard her. "Hey, stop!" She began to run in their direction and when she got closer and recognized who they were, she broke out into a sprint.

"No!" She snarled, drawing the sword that she suddenly realized was on her back. She ran as fast as she could, desperation and anxiety ripping through her, but she knew she was going to be too late. Her father's sword plunged into her mother's chest. Her father stared down at her with a satisfied expression in his eyes, then pulled the blade out with a sickening sound. Kat could see her mother's wide, pain filled eyes before she swayed and fell back onto the floor, staring blankly up at the sky.

"You son of a bitch!" She screamed throwing herself in front of her mother, and slashing at his head. Her father's blue eyes widened in surprise as he automatically blocked it. They narrowed in cold amusement when he recognized who she was. She didn't give him a chance to make some snide, cruel comment, but attacked immediately, the pain and fury of seeing her mother die once more running through her.

Their fight was even for a while, but the anger that Kat was experiencing pushed her forward so that her father was backpedaling, eyes wide with panic as he realized he was about to lose. Kat ducked under the blow he aimed at her head, side-stepped the kick he threw to catch her off guard, and spun, slashing diagonally and opening him up from the left shoulder to his right hip.

He let out a choked gasp, falling slowly to his knees as he looked up at her, pleading. "Kat… please don't – "

A savage snarl on her face, she plunged her blade into his heart just as he did with her mother. His outline flickered and Kat's face faltered in confusion, but as she blinked, her father's form changed into Bellamy's. His heartbroken, confused brown eyes burned into her.

"No," she whispered, falling to her knees in front of him. The sword was gone, but blood still poured from his wound. She shakily pressed her hands against it, trying to staunch the bleeding, but blood still slipped through her fingers. He collapsed backwards, gasping for breath, blood trickling out of the corner of his mouth. "No, please. I'm sorry – I didn't mean to – "

His pain glazed eyes found hers. "Why?" He gasped, a tear trickling down his cheek.

She watched helplessly as Bellamy gasped three more times before becoming still. She wanted to rage, to scream at the unfairness of it all. But instead she found herself suddenly standing three feet away, staring down at his body with his blood still on her hands. Someone was standing beside her but she didn't need to look to see that it was her father.

"See?" He whispered in her ear, his voice sending creepy shivers down her back. "Now we've both killed someone we love."

Kat bolted upright, panting, swallowing the scream building in her throat. She shuddered, the fear still coursing through her. She frantically wiped her face, freezing when her hands came away wet. She frowned, looking down at them and touched her face again. It took a moment for the realization to sink in. She was…. _Crying._

Angry and disgusted with herself, Kat swiped a sleeve across her eyes. As her breathing grew even and the adrenaline faded from her body, Kat groaned, suddenly feeling everything. Her head was stuffy and pounding heavily in time with her heart. Her mouth felt dry and cottony and the taste was revolting. To top it all off her body was sore and weak and it was an effort just to move.

The flap to her tent opened and Kat winced, lifting a hand to cover her eyes and groaning as Octavia stepped inside. "Good morning, sunshine," she grinned, walking over to sit next to Kat, handing her a cup of water which Kat took gratefully.

"What the hell happened?" Kat croaked, rubbing her temples, happy that Octavia hadn't walked in minutes before.

"You mean you don't remember anything?" Octavia asked in concern. Kat shook her head. "Just close your eyes and think, okay? I don't know the whole story."

Shooting Octavia a frown, Kat did as she suggested and closed her eyes, straining to think. There was nothing for a moment and then it all came rushing back. Bellamy ignoring her. Bellamy sick. Bellamy making out with her against the tree. Bellamy ruining everything and professing his love for her. Bellamy's hurt face as she rejected him and threw all his mistakes in his face.

"Oh god," Kat moaned, burying her head in her hands. "Oh my god."

Octavia rubbed her back sympathetically. "I take it you remember. Could you fill me in? You were kind of incoherent last night."

Kat lifted her head, looking at Octavia with tortured eyes. "He ruined everything, O. We had a deal. A good, no strings attached deal. And he ruined it!"

"I don't understand – "

"He told me he loved me!"

Octavia's reaction was almost comical. Her entire body froze, her hand on her back, her eyes wide with surprise and her mouth partially open. "He – " She stopped, blinking. "My brother? The man whore who hasn't slept with the same girl more than five times in his entire 23 years of life told you that he loves you?"

"Yes!" Kat exclaimed, throwing up her hands. "Now do you see why – " She stopped, peering at Octavia in alarm. "What are you doing? Are you smiling?"

"Yes, I'm smiling," Octavia said apologetically, though her smile didn't falter. "I know you're not happy about his confession, but I've been waiting for my older brother to fall in love ever since I knew what it was. As I got older and saw how he was with women my hopes started to fade, but it never went away, not completely. So yes, I'm smiling."

"Well stop it," Kat snapped grumpily. "I don't want or need his stupid love and I made that abundantly clear yesterday. It's over. Except I can't – I can't remember anything after that."

"You stole a bottle of Monty's moonshine and drank the whole thing. You told me parts of what happened in between the incoherent babbling and the puking, but you passed out before you could tell us the whole story."

"Us?" Kat repeated, eyes flashing to Octavia's face.

"Clarke was here – "

"Clarke?" Kat repeated again with a groan. "Clarke knows?"

"Yeah," Octavia grimaced. "But she was pretty cool about it, she won't say anything. Listen, I have to go, I'm on meat locker duty this morning. Make sure you rest and drink plenty of water, alright?"

Kat nodded and laid back down, all too happy to agree. She didn't want to go out there and face Bellamy, she would very much rather be a coward and hide in her tent.

And that's exactly what she did.

She spent the next few hours curled up in her bed, fighting nausea and a killer headache. She couldn't sleep, because every time she closed her eyes, Bellamy's hurt and betrayed face was burned into her mind. Although she tried her best to avoid it, Kat couldn't help replaying their conversation over and over, analyzing everything that he said and everything that she responded with.

When she thought about what he said, that he _loved_ her - it made Kat feel all panicked and fluttery, like she wanted to physically run away from his words so she wouldn't have to hear him say it. The Hale's had a shitty track record when it came to love. And Kat had a shitty track record when it came to life. The combination would be catastrophic.

Though her plan to hide away was mentally torturous, it was significantly better than going outside and having to face Bellamy. How would he react? Would he ignore her? Stare at her with a look of hatred in his eyes? Mock her in front of the entire camp?

She wouldn't have had to find out until the grounders came if it weren't for the large commotion that happened hours later. Out of nowhere there was screaming and panicked yelling from the center of camp. Kat sat up, debating what to do, straining to listen. In the end, as it always did, Kat's curiosity got the better of her.

She stood on still shaky legs and ducked out of the tent to see what was going on. "Fire!" She heard someone yelling. As she jogged around the corner, she stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth falling open in horror. The meat locker, as Octavia called it, had burst into flames. Kat rushed forward, searching frantically for a familiar mane of brown hair and only allowed herself the chance to breathe a sigh of relief when she saw Octavia standing safely away from the fire. She was covered in ashes and coughing, but she was fine.

Murphy sprang forward, attacking some kid and shouting about how he had added two much wood. Bellamy got in between the two immediately and Kat melted into the background, not wanting him to notice her.

"Now what the hell are we gunna do?" She heard Octavia shout in a frustrated voice. "That was all our food!"

"We need to focus on getting this fire contained," Clarke shouted over the muttering of the crowd. "Grab every bucket we can find and fill it with water. Let's start a bucket line, people!"

Kat was near the front of the line as the buckets passed through to the meat locker. It was heavy, monotonous work but they were able to put out the fire in under an hour. Everyone worked really well together just as they always did when faced with a crisis situation.

Afterwards, Bellamy and Clarke gathered the entire camp together, their faces grave. "Alright, listen up!" Bellamy called loudly. "We're going to need to hunt in order to have enough food. So we need every person we can spare today. Three or four to a group, and one of those has to be somebody who knows how to handle a gun. Keep your eyes peeled while you're out there and don't take any unnecessary risks. And everybody had better get their asses back before dark or you'll have to answer to me. Understand?"

Kat watched him with her head tilted to the side, examining him for the first time since yesterday. He looked…. Fine. He was a little pale and there were dark circles under his eyes, but other than that he looked better than she did.

Bellamy must have said something else because suddenly everyone else was leaving and Kat was still standing there. He looked around and froze when he saw her. She felt herself pale, her eyes widening in panic. She thought she saw a brief flicker of pain behind his eyes before they went stony, but she was too far away to be sure.

Her hand came up to cover her chest as he abruptly turned away from her and stalked off towards the dropship. She rubbed the ache in her chest, watching him walk away. What the hell was wrong with her?

"Hey," a soft voice said at her shoulder. Kat blinked, and turned to see Clarke watching her with a look of concern on her face. "You okay?"

Kat plastered a reassuring smile on her face. "I'm fine, Clarke. 50 foot high indestructible wall, remember? I'm going to go find a hunting group. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Kat?" Clarke grabbed her arm to stop her. Her voice was soft and understanding as she spoke. "I'm here for you if you need to talk. Whenever you're ready. No judgments."

"Thanks, Clarke," Kat said, nodding gratefully. "But I'm fine." She smiled one last time at her sort of friend and left to go find a hunting group. She joined a group of two other people she didn't really know and wouldn't have to talk to and lost herself in something other than her messed up thoughts.

* * *

**Octavia's POV**

Octavia kept a worried eye on Kat throughout the next day. She was going about her day as if nothing was wrong, as if she didn't chug an entire bottle of moonshine yesterday in order to run away from her feelings. As if it was no big deal that the guy she had been having sex with told her he loved her.

Clarke told her to give Kat some space to work through whatever it is that's going through her head. She suggested just being there for her in case she needed them.

But that wasn't Octavia's style. Not when this scared, uncertain behavior was completely out of character for Kat. And especially not when their death was literally looming on the horizon.

She had tried walking up to Bellamy to see how he was handling everything, but he took one look at the expression on her face and his eyes narrowed. He had snapped at her before she had even opened her mouth to ask how he was and walked away.

Kat, on the other hand, had this fake, pleasant expression on her face whenever she was around other people. But when she thought that no one else was looking, Octavia saw Kat's face slip and the confused, lost expression took over. Octavia was sure Kat had tried to avoid being grouped with her to hunt so she could avoid being questioned. So she let Kat go hunting, but when she got back and saw that same expression on her friend's face, she knew something had to be done.

After Kat had finished dropping off the boar that her group had caught, Octavia swept up behind her and guided her towards her tent, which was closest. Kat glanced over her shoulder to see who it was and rolled her eyes in annoyance. "I'm fine, Octavia," she grumbled once they were inside the tent.

"Say it again," Octavia snapped, crossing her arms.

"I'm fine – "

"Again."

"I'm fine – "

"One more time."

"I'm FINE!" She shouted, her voice cracking as she took a threatening step forward. Kat's chest was heaving with emotion, and that blank, pleasant expression was finally gone. Kat blinked a few times, her mouth pulling down into a confused frown. "I'm….."

"Not fine," Octavia finished quietly.

"It's just – " She stopped taking a deep, cleansing breath. "I said some terrible things to him, O," she said quietly. "Things that were unnecessary and cruel. Things that I don't even believe anymore. I threw all his mistakes back in his face and he didn't deserve that."

"And that's all?" Octavia questioned, tilting her head to the side and watching Kat closely. "There's nothing else? Nothing… more?"

When Kat looked stony and resistant at this line of questions, Octavia inwardly sighed in disappointment. She liked the idea of Kat and her brother together and she suspected that Kat was just in denial about her feelings.

"I know what you're thinking," Kat observed, shaking her head. "I don't love him, O. I just don't think I'm capable of it. My mother loved my father and he abused her for years. My father loved my mother and he ended up killing her. Look, I like your brother. I care about him, I guess. But I don't love him."

"Fine," Octavia said quickly, dismissing Kat's denial for a moment. "Then answer me this. The grounders are coming tomorrow, and there's going to be a war. A terrifying, bloody war. What if Bellamy dies?" She heard Kat's sharp, pained gasp and she tried to quell the flash of triumph that moved through her. "Do you want him to die with these feelings of anger and bitterness between you two? Or what if you die? Do you want things to end this way?"

"No," Kat whispered, shaking her head. Her eyes were wide with fear and anxiety and for a moment Octavia felt badly about what she was doing. "What should I do? I don't know how to fix this. I can't give him what he wants – "

"Just talk to him, Kat," Octavia advised, grabbing Kat's hands and holding them tightly. "Apologize for the things you didn't mean and explain your reasoning behind your decision. My brother loves you." Octavia paused for a moment, still marveling at that simple yet complicated statement. "He'll care enough to listen to what you have to say, and I think he'll understand what you're going through."

Kat nodded hesitantly. "Okay. But maybe I should wait till morning. It's late and he's probably sleeping – "

"There might not be a morning," Octavia said gently. Kat swallowed harshly, nodding again. "Good luck, Kat. Let me know how it goes."

Kat sent Octavia one more fleeting, terrified face complete with wide eyes and a clenched jaw before leaving and heading towards Bellamy's tent.

* * *

**Raven's POV**

Raven wrung her hands nervously, feeling her heart fluttering uncertainly in her chest. She stared off into space unseeingly, her mind in the forest with Finn. Finn and Clarke alone, together, in the forest. Away from prying eyes and judgmental glances. She didn't have to wonder what they were doing out there. Unfortunately, she could picture it all too clearly in her head.

The sound of the tent flap opening made her jump slightly and she turned to see Bellamy ducking inside. He paused for a second when he saw her. "What are you doing in here?" He asked gruffly, taking off his gun and putting it in the corner.

"They don't waste time, I'll give 'em that," she said with a sarcastic smile, her mind still full of naked flesh, wandering hands and heavy panting. "I mean what's it been, a day and a half?"

Understanding dawned in Bellamy's eyes, but it was delayed. He looked preoccupied and distracted, like he had to force himself to focus on the conversation. "You're mistaking me for someone who cares," he drawled, sounding more like his usual self. He shrugged his jacket off. "Time to move on."

Raven watched him for a second, her eyes lingering on the way his muscles moved under his t-shirt as he tossed the jacket aside. He was hot. She was hot. And she knew exactly what she had come here for.

Her decision made, she sat down on the edge of his bed and took her boots off.

"What are you doing?" He asked, pausing to watch her warily.

"Moving on," she answered simply, taking off her own jacket and then moving onto her pants. Though she wasn't looking at him, Raven could feel Bellamy's eyes on her.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled out her hair tie and stepped up in front of him, bravely looking up into his face. She was a little confused by the mixture of emotions on his face. He was determinedly looking into her eyes and not anywhere else. He still looked wary, but he also looked slightly resistant.

"I've never been with anyone but Finn," she said, slightly breathless. "Take off your clothes." Bellamy didn't move, his expression blank. "Fine. I'll go first." She slipped off her shirt, daring him to say something.

Bellamy's eyes showed an internal struggle within himself, his jaw clenching and unclenching, causing his temple to pulse slightly. A careless smirk crossed his face. "If you're looking for someone to talk you down, tell you that you're just upset and not thinking straight, I'm not that guy."

"Good," Raven said firmly, bringing her hands on either side of his face and pulling his lips to hers. Bellamy's kiss was hesitant at first, and their rhythm was off. He grabbed her hips in agitation and pulled her closer, taking control and setting the pace. She helped him out of his shirt, grinning in triumph at the molten look in his eyes as he lifted her so she could wrap her legs around his waist.

He carried her over to the bed and laid her down, breaking the kiss and working his way down her neck. Raven moaned softly, her eyes fluttering closed and her hands trailed up and down his sides. His muscles were hard and tense, and he was holding his body stiffly.

While he kissed her neck, his hands trailed down her body and pulled her underwear off, his fingers deftly checking to make sure she was ready. Raven's breath caught as he touched her, and feeling flushed, she slipped one of her hands into his boxers to return the favor.

They both froze, Raven's eyes shooting open and Bellamy pulling his lips back from her neck. "What's wrong?" She asked, panting.

"Nothing," he snapped, looking angry and self-conscious. "Just – just give me a second."

She watched him, sitting up slightly and not knowing what to do. "Do you… need help – " She stopped at the warning look he gave her. "This happens you know, to some guys. It could be from nerves or drinking too much but I don't think that's your problem. Sometimes it can be psychological. Is there something going on mentally – "

"Shut up," Bellamy ordered, cutting off her uncertain babbling. "Just kiss me." He leaned back over her and kissed her once more. His lips were hard and insistent, and Raven frowned, trying to keep up. She did everything she could to try and help him. She followed his lead, kissing his neck, tangling her hands in his hair and rubbing her hips against his softly.

"Bellamy? I know you probably want nothing to do with me right now, but I need – " Bellamy tore his lips from hers and they both looked over his shoulder to see Kat frozen in the entrance to the tent. Her face was ashen, her grey eyes filled with such pain and hurt, her eyebrows pulled together into a confused frown, her mouth partially open in disbelief.

Several things clicked into place in Raven's head. The look of betrayal and distress on Kat's face and Bellamy's agitation and difficulties.

Kat snapped her mouth shut with an audible sound and turned, stumbling out of the tent. Raven turned to Bellamy with an accusing look in her eye. "Why didn't you just tell me you didn't want to do this?"

"Because I do!" He growled, actually moving to kiss her again.

Raven put a hand on his chest to stop him, looking at him as if he were crazy. "Did you not just see Kat's face? I don't know what's going on between the two of you – "

"Nothing!" He shouted, moving off her and throwing his hands up in agitation. "She made it perfectly clear that she wants nothing to do with me so I'm free to do whatever I want – "

"_Obviously_ you don't really want to," Raven pointed out, moving to the edge of the bed and starting to pull her clothes back on. "Look, I like Kat. She's strong and resilient and I don't want her thinking I stole her boyfriend or something – "

"She's not my girlfriend!" He yelled, fury flashing through his eyes. "I don't give a shit what she thinks or what she does!"

Raven paused in pulling on her jacket and boots, watching him with a knowing expression in her eyes. She stood slowly, her face sympathetic. "Obviously that isn't true either," she said softly.

"Just get out, Reyes," Bellamy snapped, collapsing back on the bed and closing his eyes. "I don't need you psychoanalyzing me right now."

Raven nodded, throwing her hair back up into a ponytail and leaving the tent. She looked everywhere for Kat's familiar black hair but couldn't find her. She saw Octavia walking towards her, a confused expression on her face. "Hey, have you seen Kat?" Raven asked, jogging up to her.

"Yeah, she was going that way and almost knocked me over," Octavia jerked a thumb over her shoulder, her eyebrows drawn together. "Do you know what happened – hey! Wait, Raven!"

Raven ignored her, jogging in the direction that Octavia pointed. She craned her neck, looking past the row of tents where the rest of their group was sleeping, but didn't find Kat until she reached the last row of tents. Kat was pacing back and forth in front of the camp's walls, running her hands through her hair in agitation and muttering under her breath.

"Kat?" Raven called cautiously.

Kat spun around to look at her and Raven almost took a step back at the terrifying look in her eyes. Kat pointed a shaky finger at her and warned in a shaking voice, "Don't Raven. Don't talk to me right now."

"I just want to explain," Raven said, talking quickly before Kat could cut her off again. "Finn and Clarke are off together, alone, and I just… I wanted to move on, to show that I didn't care anymore. Bellamy is known around camp as someone who has sex with no strings attached and I thought it would be simple. I thought it would help. But I didn't know you existed, I didn't know…" Raven's voice trailed off, her eyes widening in horror. "Oh god. I'm Clarke."

"What?" Kat snapped, stopping her pacing to flash her a confused look.

"I can't believe I didn't see it before, how could I have been so stupid? You and Bellamy obviously had a thing going on," she said slowly. "Bellamy is Finn and you're me. I'm Clarke. Bellamy didn't tell me about you just like Finn didn't tell Clarke about me." Raven's eyes met Kat's, tortured. "Oh my god. I'm so, so sorry, Kat. Can you ever forgive me?"

"What?" Kat asked, bewildered. "There's nothing to forgive, Raven. You and Finn loved each other, you guys were in a relationship. Bellamy and I were just having sex. And that ended yesterday, so there was nothing going on between us." Kat frowned then, a lost expression on her face. When she spoke, it was almost like she was talking to her self. "So why does the thought of you and Bellamy together make me want to scream and throw up at the same time? Why do I want to punch you in the face, pull out your hair and reach down your throat to pull out your intestines every time I look at you?"

Raven blinked at the extremely graphic image that popped into her head. "It may have started out as just sex, Kat," Raven said gently. She kept a wary on Kat though, who had her hands clenched in fists and was practically vibrating with energy. "But with this much pain and turmoil it doesn't seem like just sex anymore."

"It's not," Kat admitted in defeat, leaning back against the wall and sliding down it so she was sitting on the ground. "Bellamy told me yesterday that he's in love with me. Shouted it at me, actually."

Surprise flashed through Raven at the thought of Bellamy Blake being love. He didn't seem like the type. Raven pushed it to the side for a moment, focusing on Kat's dejected face. "Okay, I'm confused," Raven said, moving to sit beside her. "Most girls would be thrilled if the guy they were seeing confessed his love."

"I'm not most girls," Kat said heatedly, getting worked up again. "We were supposed to just have sex and keep feelings out of it. He ruined everything."

"We don't choose who we fall in the love with, Kat, it's not a conscious decision."

"I don't care!" Kat shook her head, swallowing harshly. "It just doesn't make any sense. How can something like this happen?"

Raven gave her a calculating look. "You don't think you deserve to be loved?"

Kat gave a helpless shrug. "The only person who ever loved me was my mom, and I barely remember it. My life… there was no love. There was no kindness. There was only the constant fear. I'm damaged; broken. How can anyone love someone like that?"

Raven stared thoughtfully into space, not aware of Kat's anxious gaze upon her face. "Love is… indescribable. There's no right or wrong way to love and there's no one in this world who can't be loved. I believe that there are different kinds of love. With Finn, he was always there taking care of me. He was kind and thoughtful and I never had that in my life before. It was easy for me to fall in love with him – he was family. When you love someone, you'll do anything you can to make them happy, anything to keep them safe. I can understand why you're scared – "

"Scared?" Kat scoffed, wrinkling her nose. "I'm not scared – "

"You're terrified," Raven interrupted, turning to face her. "And I don't blame you. Opening your heart to love is probably the scariest thing in the world. By loving someone, you give them the power to

potentially hurt you worse than anyone ever has before. But if you do let someone in, it's the most beautiful, exhilarating, rewarding experience you'll ever have."

Kat allowed Raven's words to sink in for a moment. "It's a pretty speech, Reyes," she said finally. "But I don't love him."

Raven struggled not to roll her eyes. "Whatever you say, Kat. So are we okay? Do you still want to rip out my intestines?"

Kat glanced at her and quickly looked away, her jaw working. "Yeah, I think we're okay. I just can't look at you. Every time I do I see you and Bellamy having sex," she admitted, the revulsion clear in her voice.

"Oh!" Raven laughed, feeling relieved. "We weren't having sex."

Kat looked furious, her grey eyes narrowing. "Don't lie to me, Reyes, I saw you with my own two eyes – "

"You saw us kissing and half naked, Kat. But we didn't actually have sex. Bellamy…. He wasn't exactly into it."

Kat looked bewildered. "I don't understand – "

"He couldn't perform." When Kat still looked confused Raven sighed and rolled her eyes. "He couldn't get it up, you idiot. He couldn't get an erection."

"Oh!" Kat exclaimed, blinking innocently. "Why not? He's never had a problem with that before. It's usually the opposite with him."

Raven had to remind herself that Kat hasn't faced anything like this before. She's never had a boyfriend because she was abused and locked up for her entire life. "It happens with guys occasionally. If they're having problems psychologically, they might think they want to have sex but their brain says something different. At first I was confused, but now having talked to you it was obvious. He loves you and didn't really want to have sex with me. He wanted _you_."

Before Kat could respond, Octavia came running up to them, panting, her eyes wide. They flickered between the pair of them curiously, but didn't say anything about it. Instead she said, "Raven, we need your walkies. We're putting a group together and we're going out to look for Clarke and Finn. Now. Let's go."

"Why?" Raven drawled in a bored voice. "I'm sure they're fine – "

"Cut the jealousy shit, Raven," Octavia snapped impatiently. "There was another kid with them. Myles. He's missing too. They're all missing."

Raven looked shocked as Kat sprang to her feet. She took the other girl by the elbow and they ran, following after Octavia to go search for their people.

* * *

**Kat's POV**

20 minutes later, Kat was deep into the forest, her sword on her back and a gun in her hands. She strained to see through the thick blackness of the night, her grip on the gun tightening. She knew Raven and Octavia were off to her right about a hundred yards, and Bellamy was off to her left. Though she couldn't see Monty, she knew he was out there somewhere. Bellamy had given them each a walkie and ordered them to fan out, hoping to cover as much ground as possible.

She glanced at Bellamy's back, the confusing tumult of emotions crashing through her yet again. A mental image of Bellamy hovering over Raven in bed, his lips on hers and her hands tangled possessively in his hair appeared in her mind and she had to resist the urge to sprint up to him and kick him right in the nuts. Then she felt confused for thinking that way. She didn't love him and thought that he deserved to be happy with someone else. Then there was the sadness and guilt. She couldn't stop thinking about the things that she said to him the other day, and knew he didn't deserve them, not anymore.

Then finally, there was the barely controlled fury. She had caught him touching another woman, kissing her with the intention to have sex with her. He was hers. At least he had been until she ended things. Which was why she felt like she couldn't say anything on the subject. He was free to do whatever he liked.

Making an impulsive decision, she sped up so she was next to him. He looked down at her in annoyance. "You're supposed to be spreading out and looking for – "

"Look, I know this is a bad time, one of the worst actually. But the reason I was in your tent earlier, before I saw you with…" Her voice trailed off uncomfortably and she took a deep, relaxing breath. "I wanted to apologize for what I said to you the other day. The old you might have deserved those things, but you don't. You have changed since I've known you, and you've become a better leader and person. I don't think you're selfish and weak, not anymore. I think you're brave and selfless and caring and you're a great leader. And I just want you to know that, just in case something happens tomorrow and I die – "

"Shut up," Bellamy commanded gruffly, his eyes narrowing. "You're not going to die. You are not allowed to die, do you hear me?"

"Bellamy," Raven's voice quietly came over the radio. "Bellamy, there's someone in the bushes."

"Who is it?" Monty asked nervously in his radio. "Where are you guys?"

"Just keep the moon on your left and you'll find us," Bellamy said, giving Kat one last unreadable look and turning and heading towards Raven and Octavia.

"Does anyone hear that signal? I think it's the same thing we heard on the black box."

"Focus, Monty, do you see us?" Raven asked.

No answer. "Monty, report," Bellamy ordered. They had reached Raven and Octavia and were quietly approaching the bushes. They all raised their guns, their bodies tense and ready for anything. Bellamy signaled at them to stop and he crept forward. Kat waited with bated breath as he pulled back the bushes to reveal Myles lying on the floor, bloody and gasping for breath.

"Oh my god," Kat muttered, slinging the gun across her back and rushing forward to press her hands against his wound.

"Myles what happened?" Raven asked, her voice trembling in fear. "Where are Finn and Clarke?"

"Grounders took them," he gasped out, breathing quickly in pain.

"Take it easy," Bellamy soothed, kneeling by his head. "We have to get him back to camp."

"Bell, what about Clarke and Finn?" Octavia asked, though she looked like she already knew the answer.

Raven didn't look like she was breathing as she waited for Bellamy to speak. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

She stared at him for a second with fury in her eyes before looking away, her jaw clenched. "We need to make a stretcher," she said shortly before going off in search of supplies.

Bellamy looked torn as he watched her go, but he didn't change his mind. "Monty, we're heading home do you copy?" There was nothing but static. "Monty, can you hear me?" They all stopped what they were doing and watched Bellamy paced anxiously, but there was still no answer. "Monty? Monty, where the hell are you?" He snapped. "God damn it, Monty, answer me!"

"Did the grounders take him?" Kat asked, looking fearfully between them all.

"Get the stretcher ready," Bellamy ordered, his face determined but his eyes worried. "I'll be right back."

They nodded and got to work. Kat waited impatiently, looking to where he vanished every five minutes and only breathing a small sigh of relief when he came back unharmed. He looked grim, and when he reached them he just shook his head, holding out the walkie that he had found.

Monty was gone.

* * *

The next few hours were physically and mentally exhausting for not just Kat but everyone in the camp. Once they brought back Myles on the stretcher and the camp heard that Clarke and Finn were taken, the nervous tension and anxiety reached an all time high.

Bellamy helped bring Myles into the dropship and then set everyone to work fortifying the defenses around the wall. Everybody could see how taut Bellamy's nerves were. One of the guards fell asleep on his watch and accidently pulled the trigger. The noise scared a lot of people in the camp, but Bellamy went ballistic, throwing the kid up against the tree and shouting about how he was going to get them all killed. He then went on one of his motivational speeches about how this camp was the only thing keeping them alive at the moment. He seemed to know that what he was saying freaked a lot of people out, but it seemed he wanted them scared. Scared, but ready.

A few hours later, Kat sat back on her heels, dusting the dirt off her hands and looking up at the sky where the sun was hiding behind some clouds. They were using the remaining gunpowder to plant landmines around the camp which was risky for a number of reasons. They not only might not work, but this was the last of their gunpowder. All they had left was a limited number of bullets.

Kat wanted nothing more than to sleep. To crawl into bed, put the pillow over head and sleep for days. She knew it would never happen though. Not only did she not have enough time before the grounder's come, but her over worked brain would never allow it. Especially after that terrifying nightmare. She did _not_ want a repeat of that.

Kat stood, wincing slightly as her muscles protested. She felt beaten down. Exhausted. Drained. Like there was no hope left. Like the blackness in her heart had swirled and spread through the rest of her body. She looked back towards camp, and then in the opposite direction. For a brief moment, she entertained the crazy thought of just leaving. Running from the coming battle, running from her problems and complications – she wasn't built for this. Didn't know how to handle it.

Movement caught the corner of her eye and she looked over to see Miller planting his own landmines a couple hundred yards away. She watched him for a moment, remembering their last interaction. The guilt resurfaced full force and Octavia's words from earlier came back to her. Did she want their last conversation to be one full of anger and bitterness?

After another second of hesitation, she shoved her hands into her pockets and headed in his direction. He looked up as she approached and his face immediately hardened. He finished planting the mines and stood, crossing her arms defensively.

"Hey," Kat said softly, her small smile quickly falling at the look on his face. "I'm sorry I haven't come to talk to you sooner. To be honest I think I've been a little scared to." She took a deep breath and looked at a point over his shoulder, unable to look him in the eye as she put herself on the line. "You were absolutely right. I was using you to get back at Bellamy and that wasn't fair to you. I do like you, Miller. But things with Bellamy was more… intense. Passionate." She shrugged self-consciously. "It was just more. I'm sorry for hurting you. I really didn't mean to."

She glanced at him to see that his face had lost some of his anger and he was now looking at her with a critical thoughtfulness. "You're calling him Bellamy," he observed.

"Yeah," Kat sighed, scratching the back of her neck.

"Are you guys still together at least?"

"….no."

"Why the hell not?"

"It's complicated – " She was interrupted as Sterling came running up to them, breathless and his eyes wide with panic. "Miller, come quick – it's Bellamy – "

"What happened?" Kat asked sharply, her eyes narrowing as she took a step forward. Sterling gaped at her, blinking in confusion. Impatience rushing through her, Kat reached out and grabbed a fistful of his shirt. "Spit it out you idiot – "

Miller wrapped an arm around her waist and hauled her away. "You're not helping, Kat, just relax! What is it Sterling? What happened?"

Sterling shot Kat another terrified glance but looked away just as quickly at her glare. "Murphy was holding Jasper hostage in the dropship," he said quickly, looking like he wanted to get out of there as quickly as he could. "The only way Bellamy could free Jasper was by taking his place – "

"Murphy has Bellamy hostage?" Miller interjected in alarm. His eyes met Kat's and a look of understanding passed between them.

Kat felt her face pale. "Murphy's going to kill him," she said, saying it out loud.

"As revenge for what happened when we first landed," Miller finished. Sterling looked between the two, wide eyed, but before he could say another word both Kat and Miller were sprinting back to camp. As Kat ran, she berated herself for not speaking up against Murphy staying in their camp. After all the mistakes he's made and all the people that he's hurt, he didn't deserve a second chance. If he hurt a fucking hair on Bellamy's head, she was going to kill him painfully and slowly.

They pushed their way past the crowd loitering anxiously around the drop ship and only stopped when they reached Octavia and Jasper standing near the front. They both looked tense, their eyes distressed and agitated and their mouth set in a firm line. "Kat," Octavia whispered, letting the fear that she was feeling creep through. "He's got Bellamy in there, I think he's going to kill him – "

"What's the plan?" Miller interrupted, all business. "How are we getting him out?"

"Raven's opening up a panel under the drop ship," Jasper told them in a hushed voice. "She's going to try and hotwire the door open."

Kat wasn't really listening. Her mind was going on overdrive, imagining all the things that Murphy was doing to Bellamy. Did he string him up like Bellamy strung up Lincoln? Was he hitting him with a seatbelt? Shocking him with wires from the dropship? Stabbing him over and over? Was he already dead?

The anxiety was too much. Snatching the walkie out of Octavia's hands, she pressed the button and raised it to her mouth, yelling into it, "Murphy? Let him go right now. If you hurt him I swear to whatever god is out there that I will kill you with my bare hands."

"Is this Kat Hale?" Murphy's amused voice came over the radio. Kat was so full of outrage and unleashed violence that the walkie was trembling in her hand. "Why the hell do you care what I do to Bellamy? I can understand why the grounder pounder is upset considering she's family, but you? Last I remember, you guys never got along."

"He's our leader," Kat responded stiffly, well aware of everyone's eyes on her. "We need him – "

"Bullshit," Murphy interrupted in a cold tone, sudden realization evident in his voice. He barked out an angry but highly amused laugh. "I don't fucking believe it. Psycho Hale has _feelings_ for our fearless leader. That's just going to make this so much more fun."

"What do you – "

"I'm going to kill him, Hale," Murphy told her, clearly relishing this moment. "First I'm going to make him feel what I felt and then I'm going to kill him. I only wish you were in here to see it."

"I've done the whole revenge thing, Murphy," she said quickly, struggling to contain that familiar icy rage. "It doesn't work. It's not going to make you feel any better – "

"Do _not_ try and reason with me, you stupid bitch," he snarled.

The anger broke. "I am going to kill you, Murphy, do you hear me?" She yelled into the walkie, strangling it and imagining it was Murphy's neck. "I am going to rip out your heart with my bare hands – "

The walkie was suddenly torn from her grip and hands were pulling her backwards away from the dropship. "Are you crazy?" Octavia hissed at her, eyes flashing angrily. "Are you trying to get my brother killed before we can save him?"

"He's going to kill him!" Kat cried, her voice breaking with the strain of her emotions. "We need to get in there – "

"We will, Kat!" Miller stepped in front of her, shaking her shoulders slightly. "But we need to be smart about this. Provoking the maniac who's holding Bellamy hostage is stupid and reckless. We need to be patient, okay?"

Kat looked up at Miller's calm and determined face with wide eyes, brushing a shaking hand over her forehead and nodding. "Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "You're right. I'm sorry. I don't know what that was about."

Miller looked at her for a long moment, assessing her. "You really love him, don't you?"

Kat gaped at him, mouth open in shock. She was left standing there, staring blankly into space as Jasper called Miller over to help get everyone back to work. The 'no' was on the tip of her tongue. So why couldn't she say it?

A shot suddenly fired from inside the drop ship, breaking Kat out of her trance. Heart pounding she hurried back over to Octavia who was talking into the walkie in a panicked voice. "Bellamy? Bellamy do you copy? Answer me, Bellamy!"

There was a long, tense moment over silence before he spoke. "I'm fine," he answered, making Kat's eyes flutter closed in relief as his voice washed over her. "Get back to work, all of you. And tell Raven to hurry her ass up."

"I'll go check to see how she's doing," Kat muttered to Octavia who nodded shakily, still looking scared and nervous.

Kat jogged over to the side of the dropship, climbing nimbly into the small entrance that Raven made and walked over to them in a crouch. "Hey, how's it going? Are you guys almost ready?"

"We can't shoot through the floor," Jasper told her in a whisper, pointing up at the Hydrazine lining the floor above them. Kat automatically tensed as another shot went off. Her eyes flickered above them and she wondered where Bellamy was standing, wishing there was some way to pull him through to safety. "We need to do this now!"

"I'm working as fast as I can," Raven told him in a stressed voice. "The wires for the door are mixed in with the ignition system. Sparking the wrong one would be very bad." They waited in tense silence as she worked. Kat strained her ears to hear what they were saying above her but couldn't make out any of the words. "I think I found it!" Raven exclaimed in a hushed whisper. "Get outside and be ready when the door opens."

Kat patted her gratefully on the shoulder and followed Jasper back outside. They hurried around by the door where Octavia was still waiting. Her anxious eyes met Kat's and Kat sent her a reassuring nod. Miller handed Jasper a gun, and motioned for the others to get ready.

Kat shifted to the balls of her feet, her entire body tense and ready for action. Her fists were clenched at her sides and her eyes were narrowed. She couldn't let herself think about the fact that they might be too late. The thought made her heart clench in pain and stole the breath from her lungs.

They were going to save him. She wouldn't accept anything else.

The door to the dropship made a loud hissing noise and began to slowly lower to the ground. "You did it Raven!" Jasper shouted, raising the gun to his shoulder and starting forward. Kat made to rush inside but Jasper threw out an arm to stop her, giving her a cautionary look. She nodded, finding the strength inside her to restrain herself and followed right on his heels, Octavia and the others behind her.

Her heart rate tripled, her breath short and quick, anticipation and fear zipping through her veins. They climbed the ramp and slowly pushed aside the parachute curtain that hung there. Kat's eyes quickly swept the room and immediately landed on the figure of Bellamy's body slowly revolving from the noose wrapped around his neck. "No," she murmured in disbelief as she realized his eyes were closed and he wasn't moving. "No!" She shouted, leaping forward and running towards him.

Jasper helped her hold Bellamy's body up as Octavia pulled the buckle of the seatbelts that made up his noose. Kat grunted as she helped catch his full body weight and gently lowered him to the floor. "Breathe, Bellamy!" Octavia cried as she fell to her knees and took the noose off his neck. "Oh god, Bell, open your eyes!"

Kat fumbled to put a shaking hand on his neck, searching for a pulse. When she didn't find one, anger overrode her heart stopping fear. "No," she growled roughly, putting her hands on his chest and beginning chest compressions, thinking back to the first skill that each kid on the Ark learned at a young age. She breathed twice into his mouth, tilting his head back and pinching his nose closed. "Come on," she snapped, going through the process twice more. "You don't get to leave me, do you understand?" She asked in a thick voice, unaware of the steady stream of tears slipping down her face. Her eyes traced over his peaceful face, remembering his eyes full of amusement of passion, his lips, remembering them kissing her and smirking at her. She brushed his hair back, caressing the sides of his face and leaning over him, her lips trembling. "You can't leave me when I only just found you," she whispered softly, speaking without really noticing what she was saying. "I love you, you big giant idiot. Did you hear me? I'm in love with you. Now wake the fuck up!"

She pulled back slightly, her eyes searching his face. When she crouched there frozen, Octavia pushed her out of the way and Kat collapsed backward, her hand covering her mouth as shock, horror, pain and grief crashed over her. Octavia took over the chest compressions, murmuring softly to Bellamy as she worked. Kat wasn't listening to what she was saying; she staring blankly at the wall in front of her. This was her nightmare from this morning, except he wasn't killed by a sword. But he was still dead. Dead by her sword or dead because she provoked Murphy, her was still dead because of her.

A loud gasp sounded through the room and Kat jerked her head up with wide eyes to see Bellamy with his eyes open, gasping for breath, his hands scrabbling at his neck. "It's okay," Octavia murmured with a happy, relieved smile, softly brushing her fingers through Bellamy's hair. "You're okay."

"Where is he?" Bellamy muttered in a raspy voice, brushing their hands away and sitting up. "Murphy!" He roared, staggering to his feet and heading towards the ladder. "It's over!" He struggled to push the hatch open, but apparently Murphy had jammed it with something. A huge blast sounded from the second floor and Bellamy was finally able to bust through it, Jasper following quickly on his heels.

Kat, on the other hand, had stumbled to her feet, using the wall for support. She felt weak and disoriented, hardly able to believe what had just happened and what she had just said.

"Did you mean what you said?" Octavia asked her, watching her closely and looking exhausted. "Do you love him?"

"Yes," Kat finally admitted in a whisper, the thought making her heart race again.

"Where are you going?" Octavia asked in surprise, as Kat moved toward the door. "Aren't you going to tell him?"

"I already did," Kat answered blankly without looking back. "Besides, we have bigger things to worry about."

She left the dropship, ignoring Octavia's protests and heading away from what just happened. Her breath was coming in quick pants, and she was beginning to feel dizzy. He was dead. He had had no pulse and she had been touching his dead body. The image was burned into her brain and she didn't think it would ever go away.

"Hey!" A deep, raspy voice called out from behind her. "Kat, wait!"

"What?" She yelled, spinning around, hair flying and eyes narrowing. "What do you want, Bellamy?"

He stopped short in surprise at the look on her face. "You're crying," he stated uncertainly.

Kat furiously wiped a sleeve across her eyes. "You _died_," she exclaimed, her eyes flickering to the angry red line across Bellamy's throat. "You – you were just lying there and you weren't breathing – " She stopped abruptly, crossing her arms. "What do you want from me?" She asked again.

"I heard what you said," he answered urgently, taking a step forward. "I want you to stop running from what you're feeling. I know you've never had to deal with anything like this, and I know you're scared, but so am I. I want to hear you say it – "

"Fine!" Kat screamed, throwing up her hands. "Fine! I'm in love with you. Are you happy? You made me love you and now I have to handle all these insane emotions and feelings. And then when you were dead it was like… like I couldn't breathe – "

She was cut off as Bellamy strode forward, grabbing her face and crashing his lips to hers. She couldn't help but respond, sliding her arms around his waist and tugging him closer. His kiss was deep and passionate and Kat found herself pouring all her fear, relief and love into it. Her chest swelled like a balloon until she felt like she was going to float away.

They were both panting as Bellamy broke away, and as she looked up at him in wonder and awe, it was only then that she became aware of the loud hooting and catcalls from their fellow delinquents. Kat flushed a bright red, her eyes trained on the ground, but Bellamy gently lifted her chin so she was looking up at him. "Say yes," he whispered, his brown eyes looking imploring into hers. "We can do this, all you have to do is say yes. Say that you'll give us a shot."

"Yes," Kat responded, nodding, trying to push away her fear and insecurities and focusing on being happy.

A broad grin crossed his face as he kissed her again. She let out a yelp of surprise as he suddenly picked her up, much to the amusement of the crowd, and started to walk back towards his tent, never breaking their lips.

"Did you have to do that in front of the entire camp?" Kat asked breathlessly as they entered his tent, his lips moving down her neck. "They're never going to let us live that down – "

He gently deposited her on his bed. "The grounders are coming in a couple of hours, they'll forget all about it," he assured her, kissing her once more.

"This is so insane," Kat murmured, pulling away once more and making Bellamy sigh in annoyance. "We've known each other for less than a month and we could die tomorrow. And even if we don't what makes us think we can do this? We both have so much baggage – "

"But we also have each other," Bellamy said softly, tugging softly on a strand of her hair. "You're the strongest person I've ever known. And you make me want to be a better person, a better leader. We'll be there for one another, no matter what happens. No secrets, no lies. We'll be together. And if we're not together for some reason, I will always come find you. I'm giving you not only my body, but also my heart." Her lips twitched at this corny statement, but he sent her a warning glare and she chose not to say anything.

Heart full to bursting with these ridiculous emotions and hormones, Kat sat up, looking into his eyes before leaning down and pressing a kiss over his heart, making him catch his breath. She then threaded her arms around his neck, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. With a twinkle in her eye, she added, "How long do you think we have before the world as we know it ends?"

"Not nearly long enough," he answered, cupping his face in both of her hands, his thumbs gently moving over her cheeks. "You are mine, Katerina Hale," he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. Her eyes fluttered closed, and for some strange reason, her throat burned and she thought she was going to start crying again. She let the sound of his deep voice wash over her, savoring it and filing it into her memory to memorize always. "Body, soul, spirit and mind. You are mine."

"I am yours," She repeated, opening her eyes and staring into his. The warmth and affection nearly took her breath away. "I am yours and you are mine." She kept her eyes wide, trying not to blink for fear that tears would leak out. "I swear, if you ever go and die again I'm going to bring you back to life just so I can kill you myself, do you understand? I can't – I can't go through that again, I – "

"Hey," he interrupted, pulling back to see her face. "It's okay," he assured her, waiting while she took a deep breath. Neither one of them commented on the fact that he didn't make any promises that he couldn't keep. Kat knew it was a meaningless request, but she made it anyway. They both knew how this world worked, and they were both realistic about what might happen tomorrow. "I love you, Kitten," he murmured, a small, shy smile crossing his face.

She couldn't help her answering grin, though she accompanied it with a sarcastic eye roll when he raised his eyebrows at her pointedly. "I love you too, tough guy. Now shut up and kiss me."

"Not even two minutes into this and already you're bossing me around – "

With a snort of half amusement half exasperation, Kat threaded her hands into his hair and shut him up the best way she knew how. His hands slid sensually down her back, causing her to shiver as the heat began to zing through her veins. They both seemed to realize the significance of this moment and took full advantage of their remaining time together.

Kat forgot that Clarke was missing, that Murphy was loose and that they all might die tomorrow.

The only thing she was aware of was Bellamy as they lost themselves in the love that she had denied for so long.

* * *

**Author's Note: AHHHHHHHH! That scene in the dropship was another was one of the first that I imagined when writing this story. I hope all of this was up to your expectations and that you're freaking out as much as I am! This was actually a very difficult chapter for me to write so I would really appreciate if you guys would let me know if you liked it. If not, tell me why! At this point you should know I love to hear from you all **

**Okay, one more thing. I nearly had a panic attack when I realized this, but I miscounted the number of chapters there are left…. There's only one! Next chapter will be the last one of this story and I still can't believe I messed up! I was counting episodes and not chapters :/ **

**SO. One more chapter and then the sequel. AH.**


	20. Back to the Beginning

**Author's Note: Hellooo, everybody, surprise chapter! I actually just wrote this chapter today and didn't think I'd finish it so quickly – I'll answer everybody's reviews for the last chapter soon! Thank you for your kind words and excitement about where this story is going.**

**Special thanks to Dannylionthe1st for being the best beta and sticking with me through this crazy ride!**

**Enjoy the final chapter :)**

* * *

Chapter 20: Back to the Beginning

Still panting breathlessly, Kat rolled over to face Bellamy, her gray eyes twinkling. "That was…. Wow. I don't think I can come up with any words to describe how good that was."

She marveled at the wide, genuine smile that crossed his face. Her heart beat a little bit faster when she realized that he was smiling because of her. That she was the one that put it there. "Well it's a good thing that I was present for it then," he said softly, fondly tugging one of Kat's stray curls. "So I can come up with a few words for you. Exquisite," he murmured, pecking Kat on the lips. "Amazing. Mind-blowing. Addicting. Life altering."

"You keep going like that and you just might find yourself heading for round two," Kat smirked, trailing her hand suggestively down the middle of his stomach.

Bellamy chuckled, catching her by the wrist and bringing her hand back up by his neck, where he intertwined their fingers. "As much as I would love to go for round two and as much as I wish we could have taken more time for round one, there just isn't enough for it. I'm actually surprised no one's interrupted us before now – "

"Are you trying to jinx us?" Kat scolded. "Can't we just stay in our happy bubble for a little while longer before real life gets in the way?" A strange look crossed Bellamy's face. His eyes were all warm and liquidy and his lips were pressed together to prevent another smile from crossing his face. "What? What's going on with your face?"

"You said _our_ happy bubble," Bellamy told her, sounding extremely pleased with himself.

Kat rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot," she snorted.

"But I'm your idiot," he teased, grabbing behind her knee and hitching her leg over his hips.

"Mmmm," Kat hummed, her eyes fluttering closed as his fingers sensuously trailed over the scars on her back. He lifted his head to press light, featherlike kisses along the column of her throat. "I thought – I thought you said we didn't have time – "

"Ah, fuck it," Bellamy mumbled. "We'll make time." Kat smiled into his kiss, one of her hands sliding up his neck to play with the hairs at the back of his neck. He shivered slightly at the sensation, his fingers tightening around her waist. Kat savored the feel of his body against hers; his hands sliding up and down her back, his strong chest up against hers, his warm, soft lips as he gently coaxed her mouth open so he could slip his tongue inside and deepen the kiss.

"Um…. Bellamy?" Came Miller's tentative voice from outside the tent.

Kat sighed in disappointment, as Bellamy's hands stilled, his head dropping back to the pillow, an annoyed groan vibrating in his throat. "What?" he growled, glaring over Kat's shoulder at the tent flap.

"We really need you two out here, they found Raven still inside the dropship. Murphy shot her and Clarke's still missing. Octavia's handling it for now, but we need to talk about our options."

Kat and Bellamy shared a loaded glance. "There goes our happy bubble," he whispered with a frown. In a louder voice he called out, "we'll be right there!"

Kat rolled off him, quickly searching for her clothes and slipping them on. Raven was shot. Worthless piece of shit Murphy had somehow managed to shoot badass Raven Reyes during the worst possible time. Their medic was missing, possibly dead, and a grounder army was coming to kill them all.

The only sound in the tent was the rustling of clothes as they hurried to get dressed. Kat shrugged her jacket back on and threw her hair up into a ponytail. "Ready?" She asked, glancing at Bellamy before moving to leave the tent.

"Wait," he said quickly, slinging his gun back over his shoulder and grabbing her wrist, tugging her back to him. He threaded their fingers together and with his other hand he cupped her cheek, "No matter what happens today," he said softly, his eyes flickering between the two of hers. "I love you."

Kat felt her face flush, that fluttering feeling reappearing her chest. "Oh, uh, well I uh – "

The corner of Bellamy's mouth lifted as he watched her stutter like an idiot. "There's my emotionally constipated girl," he murmured fondly.

"I love you too," Kat said quickly, forcing herself to say it and turning an even deeper red.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it."

"Will I?" She asked softly, tilting her head to the side. Her eyes fell to the dark purple bruise around his neck, something she had tried to avoid looking at because it reminded her of how close he had come to dying. Would saving his life be pointless now that they all might die again anyway? His smile faltered and Kat shook her head, attempting to shake off the dark mood that settled over them. "Never mind. Let's – "

"Gunners!" Bellamy's walkie squawked. "We've got movement outside the walls!"

Bellamy raced out of the tent, Kat hot on his heels as they followed the people surging towards the front gate, dread and determination on their faces, their guns raised expectantly.

"Wait!" Miller called from his post above the wall. "Hold your fire, its Clarke and Finn, open the gate!"

Kat pushed through the crowd of people to get a better look as Clarke and Finn came running back inside the camp. Her eyes quickly scanned Clarke, but except for looking grim and exhausted, she was relatively unharmed. Kat let out a huge sigh of relief, slightly shocked as her body lost some of the tension and fear she didn't realize she had been holding in Clarke's absence.

"Hey," Clarke said casually, panting slightly as she stopped in front of them.

"Oh thank god," Kat muttered, pulling Clarke into a tight hug. She pulled back, punching Clarke hard on the arm.

"Ow, what the hell – "

"That was for scaring me half to death, Blondie," Kat snapped angrily. "Don't do that again."

Clarke gave her a weird look. "Yeah, I'll do my best not to get abducted again," she said slowly, frowning. "Are you alright? You're acting strange."

"That's because she opened up her stone cold heart and is now in loveeee," Octavia sang teasingly, pushing her way through the crowd.

"Shut up, Octavia," both Bellamy and Kat said together.

Clarke blinked, looking between the two of them curiously. "Wow, really – "

"Can we talk about this later?" Finn interrupted in annoyance. "We heard an explosion, what happened?"

"Murphy happened," Bellamy answered, but he was pushed to the side as Jasper came running up to them, throwing his arms around Clarke enthusiastically.

"Where've you been?" He asked before pulling away. He looked around expectantly. "Where's Monty?"

"Monty's gone?" Clarke gasped, confused.

"Clarke," Finn interrupted again, looking distressed. "We need to leave, now. All of us do! There's an army of grounders, unlike anything we've ever seen, coming for us right now, we need to pack what we can and run – "

"Like hell we do," Bellamy spat angrily. "We knew this was coming – "

"Bell, we're not prepared - " Octavia tried to say.

"They're not here yet, we still have time to get ready! Besides, where would we go? Where would we be safer than behind these walls – "

"There's an ocean to the east," Finn explained, looking at Clarke who nodded. "People there will help us – "

Kat frowned, looking around at the rest of the camp hovering in a circle, listening to every word that they were saying. "To the east? How far away?"

"I don't know – "

"You saw Lincoln," Octavia said, all of her attention focused on Finn now.

"You expect us to trust a grounder?" Bellamy asked. Kat clenched her jaw, angry at his prejudices after everything that Lincoln has done for them and for Octavia. "This is our home now!" Bellamy shouted, spinning around to look at everyone. "We built this from nothing with our bare hands! Our dead are buried behind that wall, in this ground. _Our_ ground! The grounders think they can take that away? They think that because we came from the sky, we don't belong here! But they've yet to realize one very important fact. We're on the ground now. And that means that _we_ are grounders."

A few of the listening people cheered. "Grounders with guns!" One guy shouted, raising his above his head.

"Damn right!" Bellamy shouted back. "I say let them come!"

Kat felt warmth flood her lower belly and wished they had had more time in the tent earlier. Bellamy was an attractive man, but when he made his speeches and when she heard the passion and commitment in his voice, even when she didn't necessarily agree with what he was saying, it made her want to have her way with him.

Clarke was nodding, looking thoughtful. "Bellamy's right," she said, stepping forward to speak. "If we leave, we may never find a place as safe as this. "And god knows, in this world we could be faced with something even worse tomorrow. But that doesn't change the simple fact that if we stay here, we will die, tonight. So pack your things. Take what you can carry. Now."

The camp, which had been stunned into silence by her speech, quickly jumped into action. Both Clarke and Kat looked to Bellamy who had a defeated, lost expression on his face.

"Where is he?" Octavia asked Finn, drawing Kat's attention. Finn didn't answer, just handed her a sword, Lincoln's sword. Her eyes widened for a moment and she looked scared. But she took the sword, a grim determination firing in her eyes. She looked to Clarke her eyes suddenly widen. "Shit, I can't believe I forgot! It's Raven. Murphy shot her and it doesn't look good. She's resting in the dropship now and I did the best I could but you should really come look at her."

Finn paled, quickly turning on his heel and running to see her. Clarke made to follow but Bellamy put out an arm to stop her. "Clarke! Leaving here is a mistake."

"The decision's been made," she said apologetically.

"Crowds make bad decisions!" He retorted passionately. "Just ask Murphy. Leaders do what they think is right – "

"I am," she interrupted quietly, giving him one last look before going inside the dropship.

"Hey," Kat said, putting a hand on his arm. "We'll be okay – "

"No," Bellamy disagreed in frustration. "We'll be exposed. We'll have no cover, nowhere to hide when they come for us. They know this forest better than anyone, we'll be at a severe disadvantage."

"Almost definitely," Kat agreed, nodding. "But like Clarke said, the decision's been made. Now we need to move forward and be prepared for anything that comes next. We need to be ready."

Bellamy looked at her for a long moment with those sad, expressive brown eyes before nodding resolutely. "Come on," he muttered, heading into the dropship.

When they got inside, they found Clarke heating up a knife. She met Finn's eyes and he nodded, grabbing hold of Raven's hand. Clarke pressed the knife against the wound and Kat winced as Raven's pained scream filled the air. Panting slightly, Clarke took the knife away and put it aside. "That should stop the external bleeding."

"I don't understand," Finn said angrily. "How did Murphy get a gun?"

"Jasper caught him killing that other kid that was with you," Kat explained. "He took Jasper's gun, held Jasper hostage so Bellamy switched places with him and Murphy closed the dropship. Raven went underneath to override the doors, Murphy found out and went trigger crazy. He hung Bellamy but Raven opened the door in time and we were able to save him, but Murphy escaped." The two of them stared at her with open mouths and wide eyes. "What?" She shrugged. "You asked."

"We got lucky," Raven grunted through gritted teeth. "If Murphy hit the fuel tank instead me, we'd all be dead."

"Wait, there's rocket fuel down there?" Clarke asked, looking interested. "Enough to build a bomb?"

"Enough to build a hundred bombs. If we had any gunpowder left."

"Let's get back to the reapers," Bellamy interrupted, looking down at Lincoln's drawing. "Maybe they'll help us. The enemy of the enemy is my friend, right?"

Kat looked over his shoulder, wrinkling her nose. "Do we really want _that_ to help us?"

"No," Clarke answered, looking deadly serious. "Not this enemy. We saw them, trust me, it's not an option."

"We don't have time for this!" Finn cried. "Can she walk or not?"

"No. We have to carry her."

"The hell you will," Raven said with disgust, struggling to sit up. "I'm good to go – "

"Don't be an idiot, Reyes," Kat said, rolling her eyes.

"Listen to me," Clarke said in a hard voice, getting Raven's attention. "That bullet is still inside you. If by some miracle there's no internal bleeding, it might hold until we get somewhere safe. But you are not walking there, is that clear?"

Raven nodded in defeat and Kat couldn't help but be impressed. "Nice one, Dr. Griffin."

"I'll go make a stretcher," Finn muttered, heading outside.

"Can't run away fast enough, huh?" Bellamy called after him, Kat closed her eyes in disbelief. What was the point? "Real brave."

Finn turned right back around, his face etched with fury. "Dying in a fight you can't win isn't brave, Bellamy, it's stupid – "

"Spoken like every coward that's ever run from a fight," Bellamy snarled, stepping up to get in his face.

"Alright, that's enough," Clarke snapped, glaring at them both. "It's time to go."

"And if they follow?" Bellamy asked. "It's a 120 mile walk to the ocean – "

"Look we're wasting time! If he wants to stay, then he can stay," Finn said, looking as if the idea appealed to him.

"No he can't!" Clarke protested as she watched Finn stalk out of the dropship. She turned back to Bellamy who looked down at her warily. "We can't do this without you, Bellamy," she pleaded softly.

"What do you want me to say, Clarke?"

"I want you to say that you're with us. Those kids out there, they listen to you."

"They're lining up to go," Bellamy said in defeat. "They listen to you more."

"I gave them an easy choice," Clarke dismissed. "But five minutes ago they were willing to fight and die for you! You inspire them! And I'm afraid we're going to need that again before this day is through." Bellamy's eyes flickered over to Kat before he nodded. Clarke sighed in relief. "Good. I'm going to make sure everybody's ready."

Bellamy waited until Clarke was gone. Jaw working, he turned to Kat. "Get your things and meet me by the front gate," he ordered before sweeping out himself.

"Hey," Raven panted. Kat stopped looking after Bellamy and turned to face her. "I'm really happy things worked out between you two. You're good for each other and - "

"Save your energy, Reyes," Kat said, narrowing her eyes at her. "Because if you die I'm going to be so pissed."

"Yes ma'am," Raven chuckled breathlessly. "Does this mean we're friends? Can we braid each other's hair and share our secrets – "

"Don't push your luck. I'll see you out there," Kat promised before heading to her own tent. It took her less than one minute to pack her things – all she owned was an extra shirt, one pair of underwear, a pair of pants, and a makeshift water bottle." She slung her sword across her back first, adjusting it to make sure she could reach it if she needed to. Then she swung her backpack over her shoulder, took one last look around the tent and left.

She joined the throng of teenagers waiting by the gates. She saw Clarke in the front, directing the crowd, Finn carrying a stretcher with one other guy, Raven lying on it looking disgruntled. Octavia sent her a reassuring nod from the middle of the pack, but she didn't stop looking until she saw Bellamy off to the side, his gun in his hands. She walked up next to him, meeting his eyes once before looking away.

The gates opened again and the gunners surged forward, guns raised as their eyes darted through the trees and surrounding forest. Clarke joined them as the last of the teenagers left the gates. Both of them seemed to sense Bellamy's reluctance leave. "You did good here, Bellamy," Clarke reassured him.

"18 dead," he disagreed.

"82 alive," Clarke countered. "You did good."

With an unreadable look in his eye, Bellamy picked up the bucket of water and doused the last fire. Kat took his hand as they walked towards the gate, looking back once more at the place they lived for the past month. "You know, I've never had a place to call home before," Kat said softly.

"Home isn't a place," Bellamy told her. "It's a feeling. It's the people we surround ourselves with and the happiness that they make us feel." Kat stared up at him wordlessly, finding herself unable to look away.

"You guys coming?" Clarke asked, looking back at them.

"Yeah," Bellamy answered, still looking down at Kat. He squeezed her hand one more time before dropping it, grabbing his gun and turning away. "Yeah, we're coming."

The group was silent as they walked. It was strange being around this many people with little to no sound. She could see the whites of their eyes as they darted back and forth, always looking for danger, for grounders.

It felt like they had barely started walking, maybe only two miles before all hell broke loose.

Octavia, who was leading the pack with her sword out, froze, holding up her hand. The entire group froze as well, fearful muttering breaking out amongst them as they frantically looked around. "What's going on?" Kat heard them whisper. "Is it grounders? Did they find us? We're kind of hard to miss."

Kat waited, her entire body tense, her fingers twitching slightly. She didn't even see it happen, but she heard a dull thud and looked around to see one of their group's head snap back as he dropped to the floor, a large metal circular device of death lodged deep inside his face.

They were all paralyzed with shock and fear until Jasper screamed, "Grounders!" in the loudest voice he could manage.

Kat fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Why is it that every time something like this happens, it's always Jasper that's screaming," Kat muttered under her breath as the entire group turned on their heel and ran pell mell back to camp, pushing, shoving and screaming. Clarke and Bellamy did their best to get them to calm down and not trample each other.

They shut the gates as soon as everyone was inside, the gunners immediately returning to their posts. Bellamy and Clarke jumped up to look outside. "Anything?" Kat asked from down below.

"Nothing. Where are they? Why aren't they attacking?" Bellamy asked.

"Because we're doing exactly what they wanted us to do," Clarke said slowly, realization dawning in her eyes. She turned to look at Finn. "Lincoln said the scouts would be the first to arrive."

"If it's just scouts we can fight our way out," Octavia said eagerly, stepping forward. "That's what Lincoln would do – "

"We're done doing what that grounder would do," Bellamy snapped angrily, jumping down in front of her. "We tried it and now Drew is dead. Do you want to be next?"

"That _grounder_ saved our lives!" Finn cried. "I agree with Octavia. For all we know there's one scout out there."

"One scout with insanely good aim," Jasper added, from his post on the wall.

"Clarke, we can still do this!" Octavia tried one more time.

"Looking to you, Princess," Bellamy told her, handing the reins over.

Clarke bit her lip, thinking quickly. "Kat? What do you think?"

Kat raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Me? I don't know I – " She stopped, looking between both Bellamy and Octavia. "If we go back out there, they're going to pick us off one by one. It doesn't matter if there's one or a hundred. Out there, we won't have a chance to defend ourselves. At least here we have a fighting chance."

Clarke nodded, looking out over the gates for a moment. She jumped down, looking at Finn. "Lincoln said scouts, as in more than one. He said to get home before the scouts arrive. Finn, they're already here!" She turned to Bellamy, her blue eyes resolved. "Looks like you've got your fight."

"Okay then!" Bellamy shouted, turning to the group once more. "This is what we've been preparing for. Kill them, before they kill us! Gunners, get to your stations. Use the tunnels to get in and out. From now on, the gate stays closed!" Everybody rushed to follow his orders, heading into the tunnels with their guns drawn. "Hold on," he said quickly, snagging Octavia's arm. "O, you're not a gunner."

"No," she agreed, glaring up at him and showing him her sword. "It's like you said. I'm a grounder." She turned her fiery gaze to Kat. "Are you with me?"

Kat forced herself not to look Bellamy, but instead let the corner of her mouth lift up into a smirk. "Always."

Octavia grinned. "Good. Let's go."

She took off towards the tunnel and Kat allowed herself to look at Bellamy, feeling his steady, worried gaze on her face. "Don't worry," she assured him. "I'll take care of her."

She jogged after Octavia, entering the tunnel that would lead her to their post. She was so focused on her task at hand that she didn't hear Bellamy whisper after her, "And who's going to take care of you?"

* * *

Stake out was _nerve-wracking._ They were cramped in this little hut that they had dug in the ground, so close that their arms were touching and Kat could smell the sweat dripping off their bodies, the fear thick in the air. Octavia and Kat joined Miller and Monroe in their lookout station, and all of them were strung out on nerves and fear.

"So," Miller said, after about ten minutes of silence. "That extremely public display of affection between you and Bellamy – "

Kat rolled her eyes. "Mind your own business Miller – "

"I would have, if you and Bellamy hadn't shouted your love for each other in the middle of camp and then made it abundantly clear that you guy were off to have sex, which people could hear, by the way – "

"Ew, for fuck's sake, Miller, shut up," Octavia snapped, sounding disgusted.

There was a moment of silence. "So how is he in bed?" Monroe asking in a curious voice.

"Monroe – "

"What?" She shrugged. "This is boring and it'll help distract me – "

"Everybody just shut up," Kat hissed, glaring at them. "Pay attention to your surroundings, we're in the middle of a goddamn war, not having a tea party."

They fell silent at that proclamation, turning their gazes back to the quickly darkening forest. It was surprisingly tough, waiting like this. Their bodies were tense for hours on end, their eyes straining to find any possibly attacking grounders. Kat's heart was continually pounding in her chest, making her feel panicky and jittery. She had to force herself to take deep breaths to try to calm her reaction.

Night fell quicker than she could have imagined. It made sense that they would wait until night to attack. It was harder to see and they could easily hide in the shadows.

"Listen," Octavia breathed, cocking her head to the side. "Do you guys hear that?"

They all froze, listening. "War drums," Miller said grimly, shifting his grip on the gun. "They're coming."

"Do you guys see anyone?" Monroe whispered fearfully, her eyes flickering back and forth.

Kat was about to say no, when Octavia subtly nudged her in the arm. Kat turned her head, but Octavia wasn't looking at her. Her eyes were trained on a spot in the distance. She turned to follow Octavia's gaze, but it took her a moment to see what she was looking at. Kat could just barely make out a figure in the distance, standing off to the side, slouched against the tree. She knew who it was even though she couldn't see his face. It was Ari.

Octavia and Kat glanced at each other from the corner of their eyes. They knew without saying a word what the other was thinking. So without mentioning anything to the other two, Kat and Octavia got up and raced through the darkness, ignoring the quiet calls of the other two behind them.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kat hissed as they met up with Ari, crouching low to avoid being seen. "You shouldn't be here, it's too dangerous – "

Ari actually looked insulted. "Are the two of you abandoning your people?" He looked between them and nodded at their silence. "I thought not. So neither will I."

"Where's Lincoln?" Octavia asked urgently. "Have you seen him?"

Ari shook his head, giving her a sorrowful look. "I haven't, I'm sorry. I've been scouting you guys from the trees and I just want to make sure you're okay."

"We're – " Kat broke off as the sound of gunfire echoed through the forest. "Is it starting?"

"Kind of." At their confused looks, he sighed. "We know you have a limited amount of gun supplies so…"

"You're trying to get us to waste our bullets," Octavia finished, looking appalled. "We need to go warn someone – "

Ari grabbed her arm as she began to get up and yanked her back down. "Lincoln would kill me if you got injured or killed by one of your own people. Listen!" He fell silent and Kat and Octavia realized the sound of gunfire faded. "They figured it out."

A low horn echoed through the forest and Ari tensed, his lips pressing together in a firm line. "What does that mean?" Kat asked him in a quick whisper.

"It's the signal," he answered in a hard voice. "The signal to attack."

Octavia's eyes widened and without another word she turned and ran back towards their camp. "Octavia!" Kat hissed. "Octavia get back here – " She made to run after her but Ari pulled her back, clapping a hand over her mouth. She struggled for a moment, then froze as a crowd of grounders raising their weapons and yelling, came running past them, headed for the gate. "I can't just stay here!" Kat spat, shrugging Ari's hand off and standing up. "I have to go back and help."

"I know," he told her, nodding. "I'll be right behind you."

Nodding, accepting the strong rush of adrenaline through her veins, Kat reached over her shoulder and pulled out her sword. Taking a deep preparatory breath, she tightening her grip on the handle and dove into the chaos.

After that it was just action and reaction. She ducked under swords aimed at her head, dove away from arrows, stabbed exposed flesh and made sure there were no survivors. Attacking from behind surprised most of the grounders and gave her the advantage. She felt more than saw Ari hovering near her, blending in with his people, but not attacking them and she understood that decision. If their roles were reversed she wouldn't have attacked her people either.

Kat paused for a moment, frantically looking around, trying to find Octavia's familiar mane of brown hair, but she didn't spot her anywhere. A loud noise and a bright light appeared in the sky and everyone froze, looking up in awe and amazement. Kat frowned, not quite sure what it was until… "Holy shit," she breathed. "It's the Ark."

"No, Kat, look out!" What happened next seemed like it was moving in slow motion. Kat looked around, her eyes wide, just in time to see an arrow come flying in her direction. She didn't have time to move. She didn't have time to scream. She could only watch as the arrow came flying toward her.

Then a body slammed into her, sending her crashing to the ground, knocking the wind out of her. Nevertheless, Kat rolled with the momentum, coming up in a crouch and in the same motion, she reached into her boot, flicked open her knife and threw it, sending it spiraling into the shooter's throat. She grinned in savage delight as she watched him clutch it in agony, blood spurting from the wound as he fell to his knees.

"Thanks for the assist – " she began, turning back to look at Ari but she stopped abruptly. "Oh fuck," she muttered, dropping to her knees beside him, her hands hovering over the arrow lodged in his chest. Ari was gasping for air, his eyes wide and filled with pain. "Ari? Can you hear me? You're going to be fine, okay?" She assured him in a trembling voice, her face pale. "I'll… I'll, uh – bring you to Clarke, she'll be able to help you – "

He coughed in amusement and Kat was alarmed to see blood trickling out of his mouth. There was the sound of high-pitched yipping and chanting coming from the opposite direction and Kat paused in her panic to look around. "Reapers!" One of the grounders yelled. Kat watched with an astonished, open mouth as the grounders stopped trying to break down the gate, turned and started attacking the reapers instead.

Kat looked down in surprise as Ari grabbed the front of her shirt, gritting his teeth. "Go," he gasped. "Get – get out of here – "

"No!" Kat cried, shaking her head. "No, I'm not leaving you here – "

"Then you'll die too," he spat, glaring at her. "What about Octavia, and the one with golden hair and – and that guy you like to rant about. Get out of here, Sky Girl. I'm fine." She shook her head again, her eyes filling with tears and he shoved her away with what little strength he had left. "Go!" He yelled.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice cracking as she stumbled away, two tears slipping down her cheeks. With the distraction of the reapers, the way back to camp was clear. She slipped into one of the tunnels, pausing with her hand on the wall, her body bent as she acknowledged the pain in her chest. She allowed a few more tears to slip down her cheeks as she mourned the loss of her grounder friend. With a shaky gasp, she wiped her face clean and straightened before continuing on.

"Hey," she said to Clarke, glad to see that she looked stressed but unhurt. "How's it going here?"

"I pulled everybody but the gunners back inside the dropship," Clarke explained, her worried eyes watching them from behind. "We still need a little bit more time, Jasper's working down below. We're going to try for lift off and fry all the surrounding grounders." Kat raised her eyebrows, impressed. Clarke put a hand on Kat's shoulder, searching her face. "I'm really glad you're okay. You are, aren't you? None of this blood is yours?"

Frowning, Kat looked down to see that she was covered in splattered blood. "No, none of this is mine. Have you seen Octavia? Or Bellamy?"

Worry crossed Clarke's face. "No, I haven't – " Her gaze was locked on something over Kat's shoulder, relief making her shoulders sag. "Oh thank god."

Kat's heart leaped as she turned around, hoping that maybe it was one of the Blake's - but it was Finn. Kat's heart nose dived as Clarke pushed past her, running to throw herself in Finn's arms. She looked away, feeling like she was intruding on a special moment and hating herself for feeling jealous that they had found each other. Clarke brought him inside to see Raven, but Kat stayed outside, pacing back and forth as she waited for Bellamy and Octavia to get back, fear eating away at her insides. She refused to even consider the option that they might not be coming back at all.

There was a loud, groaning noise and Kat watched with horror as the gate came crashing down. The gunners fled into the dropship. Miller ran past her yelling, "Clarke! They took down the gate! I'm shutting that door now!"

"No!" Clarke cried, running out. "We've still got people out there!"

"The grenades!" Monroe yelled, rushing past with Sterling and beginning to light them. They lobbed them into the entrance where the gate used to be, watching with wide eyes as the explosion made bodies fly into the air.

It wasn't enough. Grounders spilled into the camp and their gunners were running out of bullets, one by one dropping their guns and running into the dropship to safety. There was one grounder in particular, a huge man with a baldhead and a machete that was causing the most damage. With every swing of his machete, another one of their people died. People fled before him.

Clarke grabbed Kat, pulling her behind a barricade to safety as arrows and bullets whizzed above their head. "Look!" Finn cried, pointing to one of the tunnels. "There he is!"

Kat's head whipped around. Her heart pounded as their eyes met and they could see the relief that the other was still alive. "Bellamy," she whispered, taking a step toward him.

"He's never going to make it!" Clarke cried in distress. "Run, Bellamy!"

He started toward them, but paused, his attention caught as he watched the large grounder kill another one of their people. "No," Kat shook her head, dread washing over her. "Don't you dare!"

His eyes were apologetic for only a moment before his face set. He swooped down to pick up a gun and turned to face the giant grounder. Kat was frozen in shock, feeling like she was stuck in a daze as she watched the grounder knock the gun out of Bellamy's hands. He punched him across the face, making Bellamy's head snap back, kneed him in the stomach, making him keel over and head butted his face, causing blood to rush out of his nose.

"He's killing him!" Clarke gasped in horror. "No, Finn, no!" She screamed as Finn took the gun from a nearby gunner and rushed forward. He shot the grounder in the leg and tackled him to the ground. Bellamy staggered to his feet, a snarl on his bloodied face as he attacked the grounder once more.

"Clarke, there's more coming!" Miller cried. "We need to get back inside!"

Kat shifted her grip on her sword, her jaw clenched as she shook off her shock and fear and dove forward to help them. Her head snapped back as Clarke reached out and grabbed Kat by the hair. "Ow, fuck!" She cried, wincing at the pain, her back bowed at an awkward angle. "What the fuck, Clarke – "

"You are not going out there!" She snapped. Although Kat couldn't see her, Clarke's blue eyes were narrowed dangerously, her mouth set in a snarl.

Ket let out a scream of frustration, her eyes locked on Bellamy fighting, fighting to survive and fighting to save them. "Clarke, let go of me!" She shrieked, struggling to move. "It's Bellamy out there! It's Bellamy, let go – "

"No!" Clarke shouted. "I don't care if I have to pull you by the hair, Katerina Hale, you're coming in the dropship with me! I am NOT losing you too, do you hear me?"

"Please, Clarke!" Kat yelled, stumbling backward as Clarke pulled her along. "Please let me go!"

"Miller!" Clarke cried. "Close the door!" There was the sound of air escaping and the door began to raise. The last glimpse that Kat had of Bellamy was him lying on the floor, his face was a bloody mess and his eyes were half closed as the monster grounder approached him with the machete, a look of triumph on his face. "Hold her," Clarke ordered, shoving her to the waiting group of scared delinquents waiting in the dropship. Kat stumbled drunkenly into their arms, but there was no fight left in her. Her face was pale and blank and there was no strength in her body so she just sank to her knees, her eyes still staring at the spot where she had last seen him.

Her attention was diverted for a moment as Anya came rolling into the dropship just as the door closed, coming up to a crouch a sword in each hand. Kat cocked her head to the side, her face curious but slightly detached. "How could you possibly expect to win against all of us?" She asked in a blank voice.

"Now, Jasper!" Clarke cried quickly. Their group tensed, waiting as Jasper flipped the switch, but the only sound was the grounders banging on the dropship, trying to get inside.

"No," Jasper muttered in horror, flicking the switch over and over. "No!"

"Anya," Clarke said, stepping forward. "You can't win."

She didn't listen. Instead she let out a war cry and surged forward. Miller came up from behind her, hitting her on the head and knocking her to the ground. Their group surged forward, hatred etched on their faces as they punched and kicked any inch of her that they could find. Even though the people that had been holding her had let go, Kat didn't move from where she was kneeling on the floor.

"No!" Clarke cried, pushing people away from her. "Get back!"

"She deserves to die!" Miller snarled, holding up a knife.

"No!" She cried again, catching his wrist as he brought it down. "We are _not_ grounders!" She shouted in a harsh voice, pushing people away from Anya.

Unbeknownst to anyone, Jasper was working frantically in the background. "Got it!" He cried. There was a sudden rumbling in the dropship, shaking everybody off their feet as it lifted a few feet off the ground.

Kat gray eyes were wide, full of horror and pain as she listening to the screaming and shrieking coming from outside the dropship as people burned alive. It was a terrible, hair-raising sound that Kat would never forget for as long as she lived.

_We shouldn't have saved him_, Kat thought in despair. _Death by hanging was probably a lot less painful than being burned alive. _

The dropship settled back to the ground and the group slowly got to their feet, looking around. There was silence outside now, and the faces around her were bleak and scared. Miller quickly got to work binding Anya's hands behind her back and Clarke pulled the level to lower the door.

Swallowing harshly against the bitter taste in her throat, Kat winced, pulling herself to her feet and pushing through the crowd to get near the front, even though she was pretty sure she didn't want to see what was out there. Clarke pushed aside the parachute blocking the opening and Kat knew she was right. Bile rose in her throat but she swallowed it down, following Clarke down the ramp.

Everything was gray. The smoke that hovered along the ground, the ashes of grass and trees that were left, but more importantly the large number of skeletons that were spread out all over the ground. Kat's eyes quickly scanned the destruction, her jaw clenched, but there were no sign of any survivors.

Clarke followed Kat as she stumbled over to where she had last seen Bellamy. She tried to figure out which skeleton was his, tried to search for anything that was familiar, but she had no idea. Her breath was coming out in sharp gasps, her hands trembling as she felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. "I had just found him," she whispered brokenly. "I just found him and now he's gone."

"Kat," Clarke stepped up next to her, her voice trembling and her eyes full of sadness.

Kat looked over at her, looking as if she was seeing a stranger. Her face was blank, back to that cold emotionless mask. "I don't know if I can ever forgive you for this," she told her honestly.

They both looked around as cans of red gas came flying over the what was left of the wall. "What the hell…" Jasper muttered, raising his arm to cover his mouth. "What is it?"

"Mountain Men," Anya muttered darkly.

Kat staggered backwards, dropping to her knees as her body lost all of its strength. It seeped into her veins, causing the world to tilt, making her fall backwards amongst the bones. She struggled to keep her eyes open as men with large guns and scary looking masks over their faces came through the red mist. Eventually though, she lost the fight and faded into the darkness.

* * *

When Kat came to again, she groaned, her body sore. Her eyes fluttered open, blinking against the harsh whiteness of the light on the ceiling. She felt strangely comfortable – Wait. Electricity? Her eyes snapped open as she sat up straight. Horror and confusion flooding through her, Kat's eyes swept over the room, taking in the white bed, the white walls, the white toilet and sink, the white couch along the far wall. Her heart was pounding frantically in her chest in time with the terrified chanting in her head. _No, no, no, no, no – _

She moved to get out of bed and frowned down at a needle sticking out of her arm. She pulled it out and scrambled out of the bed, glancing down at the white tank top and shorts that she was wearing. Wincing as her bare feet hit the cold floor, Kat ran to the door, desperately trying to pull on the handle, but not feeling surprised at all to find it locked. She looked out the small, circular window but didn't see anyone out there. "Hello?" She called, pounding on the door. "Is anyone out there?"

When there was no answer, Kat backed away, gasping for breath as her heart tried to escape out of her chest. She had been free. Free to live as she had wanted… free to love. Free for a month and now – now she was right back where she started. Some scary fuckers in masks had kidnapped her and stuck her in another cell. This one was fancier than the other one, sure, but she was still locked in a room all alone with no way of escape.

Ari had died to save her. Raven was shot so she had probably bled out by now. Clarke, even though Kat was furious with her, was who knows where along with the rest of the survivors, Octavia was missing for hours and she was probably dead, and Bellamy – she bent over as the pain crippled her, sending her to her knees, tears streaming down her face.

It was too much. It was all too much. She had experienced living for the first time and now it was gone. He was gone. And she was all alone. She had nothing left.

The agony overwhelmed her. Clutching the sides of her head, Kat screwed her eyes shut and let out a piercing scream. She screamed until her throat was raw and her voice was gone. And even then she kept screaming.

* * *

**Author's Note: Oh my god. There are so many emotions running through me that I don't even know what to focus on. I knew that this was how I wanted to end my story even before I had even thought of doing a sequel. I guess I'm just evil that way haha did you guys like it?**

**I just want to take a moment to thank every single one of you that read my story, but I want to give a special shout out to the people who took the time to review, especially those of you who have been reviewing every chapter. When I started this story a year ago, I had no idea that it would not only mean this much to me, but that it would get the positive reception that you guys have given me. I discovered a love for writing and a love for the OC that I created, and you guys have inspired me to keep writing even when I wanted to give up. Thank you so much for your kind, positive words and I hope you guys will follow me to the next chapter of Kat's life.**

**When I started this story 1 year ago, there were 200 stories on this site. Now, there's almost 3,000. It's amazing to see how much it has grown!**

**I'm off to binge watch season 2 and gather some ideas about what I want to happen so if you have any you want to share, don't be afraid to let me know! What I'm going to do is post an author's note as another uploaded chapter in order to let you guys know when the first chapter of the sequel is posted. The sequel will be a completely different story, I will not be adding onto this one. I'm both sad that this story is ending but excited about the possibility of a new one!**

**In the meantime you can check out my other stories if you wish to do so. Thank you again, I love you all! Send me your love through reviews, I want to know what you guys thought about this chapter!**

**See you guys for the sequel :)**


	21. Sequel

**Author's Note: THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE SEQUEL IS POSTED. I REPEAT, THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE SEQUEL IS POSTED!**

**It's called Never Stop Fighting and you can either search it ( tells me it may take a couple of hours to be up) or find it on my profile! I can barely contain my excitement – give it a read and let me know what you think!**

**Thank you all so much for your support. I'm so grateful for all of you :)**


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